Beneath the Wraps

                 A couple of nights ago I had a dream about a salt grinder that doesn’t exist.   Last night I had a dream that I had forgotten details as I write.   In part I was searching for a book and had come across a whole bunch that had been put away for whatever reason.   Some I remembered but most I did not.   So I chose to set aside to look at with more effort (reading).                The first one was a children’s book.   I don’t remember what it was called but my mom had made notes on various pages – in crayon.   It was interesting to see that.   Of course I don’t can’t remember anything about it now.   I do remember that the book was about a salt grinder which replaced a pestle and mortar.   (As though that would provide great material for a children’s book) and my mom had written he...

  I didn ’ t know what inspirational story to share on facebook – though I thought it should be personal.  I had considered the last day my mom was in the hospital and how all four of her children were there trying to plan her funeral and asking her questions that related.  She was between worlds and so when she gave us answers we weren ’ t always certain which side she was talking to.  For example Corey had asked about what hymns she would want to be sung.  I knew she likes “ I Am a Child of God ” and would like it sung at her funeral. When Corey asked “ What hymns do you like? ” she smiled and said, “ That ’ s a secret. ” I don ’ t remember all of our conversation.  I know it was a good conversation and all four of her children laughed together.  It felt like an inspirational mood.  I had also considered a time when we had gone to see my great grandma at the nursing home.  Mom had gone diligently every week and grandma, for the most pa...

A continuation of list started yesterday 13.    She's a complete technophobe .                             I don't think she did ever learn how to set the VCR 14.    She makes me feel needed.                                                 Each of us was important and she let us know why and what talents we could offer that maybe someone else could not. 15.     She showed me a great example of a successful marriage.                         I had believed that all families were like my family - that the mom and dad loved one another and that the children enjoyed being a part of the family.   I didn't realize that there were many who ha...

               At the time we had mom's party I had not yet started my blog nor do I think I had started reading Corey's.  Perhaps I did and I just don't remember.  He hasn't posted for a while, and so I haven't looked at his blog page much the last year and a half.  I did open his blog page yesterday to see if he had mentioned the event or what he said about it - but I couldn't find anything - not at the time the event took place anyway.  He had his own personal trial he was dealing with.  I don't know if he ever got around to reminiscing the events that took place that summer my mom turned 70.                 He gave mom a copy of the list he had created, but not the stories he had shared at the party as he paid her tribute and entertained those who came; thus I will share his list and my own examples as I can remember them. 70 Things I Love About My Mother 1....

            I enjoy looking at the memories that facebook reminds me for each day.   The thing I enjoy most is reading comments from friends who have since passed away - like yesterday morning for instance, I was reading thoughts to wish my husband and I "Happy Wedding Anniversary" for almost each year I'd been on facebook.   The last comment I read was from my mom.   I think that's cool.             Mom was not an avid facebook user.   She seemed to allow herself to get flustered with modern technology.   The year I started my facebook account was also the first year her children all wondered if there was some instability happening with mom's mind.   I don't know if that was the first year she'd been tested for Alzheimer's.   I do know she was tested at least twice, but the results didn't show Alzheimer's - but she was in the early stages of dementia.   Ma...

            About a year and a half ago, I was on facebook checking out their statistics, though I generally don't put a lot of stock in what results are given.     According to facebook, my husband Roland and I are the most opposite of me and any of my facebook friends.   I can believe that.   According to facebook, my soul mate is Carolyn - who I had known less than a year.   I've now known her for almost two.   The more time I take to get to know her, the more it feels like we have in common.   I guess facebook was right.             Not only that, but every time I added a family photo, facebook will automaticlly tag the pictures and actually get most of them right.   But every time my mom is in the photo, facebook puts Carolyn's name on the photo instead of my mom's. I guess there is a resemblance.   I do see more betwee...

I am currently taking a family history class through the Church because Roland wants to take the class but can't always be there and so has asked me to come with him in the event that he has to miss a class. Yesterday we shared memories of our ancestors.  I had known from the beginning that I would need to come up with something.  And I have written down thoughts here and there - but nothing major about anyway.  I finally ended up sharing three stories that mom had shared about herself and a family member's name.  Of course once the class was over, I have been able to come up with some other memories.  Here is one:      My mom has never had a great sense of direction – at least since I’ve known her.   Sometimes she would forget small things and exaggerate about things like, “having to drive around the world” when it had taken her longer to get to places than anticipated.      When she first was...

I understand the desire for those who wish to segregate Mothers’ Day Jenna asks, “What would you like for Mothers’ Day?” “I would like you to clean your room?” “No, really.   What do you want?” “That is what I want.   To have my daughter show me some responsibility.” “Mooooommmm.” Are you honoring my motherhood?   What are we celebrating exactly?   Taking a break from the dishes and finding them in the sink on Monday is NOT taking a break.   I don’t even think half the chores I do is what makes up a mother. I am certainly not a housewife.   I did not tie the knot with any building – especially this one.   I’ve looked into home improvement.   But the expenses all add up and I need to budget for just one thing at a time – not empty out my bank account and then some. They got me chocolates.   I know because Jenna told me.   She and her friend were wrapping the boxes and came to m...

Last year Ellen took my mom to the store to purchase three gifts.  I don't know whether Ellen suggested it or if mom had thought on her own to get her three youngest grandchildren one gift each. When I saw them on the table I asked my mom about them. "What are these?" I asked. "I don't know.  I think they're Ellen's" I didn't think they were. I didn't see much of Ellen when I was at mom's house.  But somewhere we made a connection and I had asked if they really were hers.  She said that mom had purchased them for Jenna, Anna and Gary but she hadn't gotten around to wrapping them. I wrapped them and tagged them and placed them under the tree.  My mom kept asking who the gifts were for and where they came from.  She didn't seem to even know that Christmas was coming up pretty soon. She was like a kid on Christmas day.  Who knew it would be the last Christmas that we would spend in her house?  or that it would be her l...

  Two weeks after I started my blog I became part of a search party who went out looking for mom who had dementia and had wandered from home.  She could not be left alone.  Each of us worked out a schedule so that someone would always be with her. Two weeks after this year started mom was released from the hospital and spent her last night at the house she’d lived in for over fifty years. It had been on a Sunday when Ellen found my mom passed out and called for Nate to assist.  Patrick ended up taking her to the hospital.  He and Nate were both dressed for church but stayed at the hospital all day. They did not go to Church that day. Patrick had chosen to stay with mom. On Monday mom’s four children worked together to fill out the paperwork to move mom into assisted living. On Wednesday Kayla took mom to her new home at the assisted living facility – the last place she would live. And Corey came from Las Vegas to assist and say good...

We had planned on attending the Walden Family Reunion on Labor Day weekend.   Or at least I was.   Soon it was narrowed down to only Biff, Jenna and I as Roland said he would be working and although Randy had made arrangements to get time off from his previous job, he recently started another job which he would be working sometime during Labor Day weekend (though I think he could have gone to part of the reunion but chose not to I guess) So Friday Jenna gets in the car with this years fundraiser for the school.   $30 for a coupon book – or the idea of a coupon book with an actual card that you will use instead of the coupons?   It looks like a catalog of jumbled ideas thrown together and is actually harder to go through than sorting out the thoughts in my head (and that is saying A LOT!)   Jenna gets upset about every fundraiser – not for the same reasons that I get upset – never mind that no one we know has any money and that every other school is havi...