Beneath the Wraps

          Just before we got in the car to come home from church, Jenna had asked me what was wrong.   Evidently, I was wearing an expression of sadness or despair.   Perhaps I should not use quotes as I don't fully remember the conversation, but I'm going to use quotations anyway.   This is only an approximation.           Jenna (playfully joking):   "Are you sad because you don't have choir practice?"           Me (sarcastically;   keep in mind that I DO NOT have a great singing voice and would rather eat than practice):   "Oh, yes.   That must be it"             Jenna: "What's wrong?"           At that exact moment in time, I was dreading money spent wastefully - but I don't wish to share my thoughts with ...

  One day a month, Roland and I try to set up a double date with one of our boys and his wife.   At least two have suggested that we go see a play.   But we cannot just drop by a playhouse and expect to get tickets.   They have to be reserved. In March we had gone to the park for picnic with Tony and Rochelle. After we got home I looked into buying theatre tickets for the date this month.   I purchased four tickets to Desert Star’s “Into the Hoods” for yesterday afternoon.   I first approached Jeanie and Biff. Jeanie declined, as she and Biff would be celebrating their wedding anniversary – ALL DAY and Not With Us.   Okay.   If they had already made plans, no big deal.   I could call Randy and Carrie and if they couldn’t go, there’s my sister Kayla and her husband, Bill or we could go with Tony and Rochelle again – though they are notorious for NOT being on time – and that could put a damper on our plans. Rand...

I am currently taking a family history class through the Church because Roland wants to take the class but can't always be there and so has asked me to come with him in the event that he has to miss a class. Yesterday we shared memories of our ancestors.  I had known from the beginning that I would need to come up with something.  And I have written down thoughts here and there - but nothing major about anyway.  I finally ended up sharing three stories that mom had shared about herself and a family member's name.  Of course once the class was over, I have been able to come up with some other memories.  Here is one:      My mom has never had a great sense of direction – at least since I’ve known her.   Sometimes she would forget small things and exaggerate about things like, “having to drive around the world” when it had taken her longer to get to places than anticipated.      When she first was...

 In June 2009 we celebrated my mom's 70th birthday.  Sunny had made arrangements to invite friends and family members to a "surprise" birthday party for my mom. I don't recall how many came, but there was a lot.  Many from the ward, a few from work, and family members - Bill and Kayla had taken several pictures.  I would guess there were 50 - 70 people in all. Corey gave a tribute and several sat in folded chairs that Sunny must have borrowed from the Church.  Mom was definitely surprised and she looked so happy.  She had already been diagnosed with dementia, but it was just the early stages.  She was well aware of what was going on.  And she knew everybody there. Last November - before we put mom into assisted living - she was overwhelmed by the tremendous amount of people at our Thanksgiving dinner - all 18 of us.  So I thought she'd really freak when we took her to the ward Christmas dinner one month later because there were ove...

             Mom embellished on her “sky-diving” story – a bit with the realization that jumping out of an airplane is something she would never do.   In this version it was from a commercial airline with mechanical problems.   Mom said she didn’t want to, but it was the crew that had forced all of the passengers to jump.           Harold told his story about going up in a stunt plane that did loop-to-loops.   They had fastened video cameras to each wing and had one in the cockpit.   This filmed every move that was made and then the three films were spliced together.   Harold said he had it on video tape.   But that it does tend to make most people sick when they watch it because it’s like being there.             Corey had explained to the family that there are seven stages of dementia and th...

          I’m not really sure why I was the privileged one put on the mailing list for Alpine Ridge.  Perhaps I had made the request – but it would have been over four months ago.           I received a letter last month informing me that I would have the opportunity to meet with a director and nurse if I had any questions concerning mom.  I assumed that my three sibs would be getting the same letter.  They never did.           And just the other day, I received a calendar schedule for this month – first one that has come in the mail since January when we took mom there to live.  Really?  I remember asking about them back in March – but I never received a hard copy of one.  I did find one on the web and have looked at it and will still refer to it as I sometimes misplace my hard copy – but I am still puzzled at wh...

Yesterday I took mom to the hairdresser. She said it was nice to see her hairdresser again as she hadn’t seen her for a long time . . . which she hadn’t. As I drove her back to where she lives, she kept on asking who it was that had fixed her hair. At Alpine Ridge she was greeted like a celebrity.  Everybody LOVED her hair. She had to check the mirror again as she couldn’t remember. “Who fixed my hair?” she asked again. There was a noise coming from the next room. The noise reminded me of a single bowling lane.  Mom said she didn’t think that’s what it was. Well, I knew that! That’s just what the sound reminded me of. Mom tells me about the woman in the room next to hers. Apparently they were the first two to live there.  No, not live.  They worked.  But Helen is getting slower.  She has . . .  well, she has . . .  she’s just slowing down. “You’re all slowing down,” I thought.. Mom couldn’t remember the word “dementia...

Today’s visit has been quite the interesting and somewhat traumatizing.  No easy way to explain it.  I have made mention of my great Aunt Gertrude in a couple of my posts – but I don’t know that I went into detail about the “great” part. Aunt Trudy is the youngest of four children.  Three brothers: Harold, Earl and Ted.  My paternal grandfather is Earl.  He fathered three children, my dad, my Uncle Ross and my Aunt Alice.  Each child has four children – many of whom are close to Aunt Trudy and may have more knowledge of the intimate details of her life than I. Harold had one son who in turn had four children.  It is through this line that Aunt Trudy would like to handle her affairs.  But I don’t know.  She was talking to me through medication – sounding so much more confused than mom ever has. Uncle Ross and family had invited Aunt Trudy and Uncle Ted to an Easter Brunch.  It was during the Easter festivities when Aunt Tru...

Over two weeks ago I created this post about my continuing struggle with mom and her childish behavior – which is still there – but now in a more positive light. It was just four days ago when I posted about taking mom to the eye doctors.  It was the day that I left a sign in her room which she now reads on a daily basis and applies it to her life.  I am so completely happy with the results – as we all are – or at least all who have visited during the four days. Mom is more than just content.  She is happy.  Her conversations with each of us have included involvement and the pluses for living at Alpine Ridge and how going “home” would not be a wise thing – after the entire house would be empty – if it still exists. It is easier for Corey to hide his smile behind the phone than it is for me to prevent the silent giggle in person.  She told Corey that she gets three meals a day and “they’re all free.  They don’t charge us a...

--> I went out to take mom to the eye doctor.   She was a lot more pleasant than she had been when I took her to the doctor last week.   Instead of sulking and being angry about the circumstance, she was quite overjoyed and quite surprised that I had come – for in her mind West Valley might as well be on the end of the universe.   She thinks I am quite far away from all civilization.   She thinks I must spend all day driving as I am so far away . Not once did she ask me to take her home but did ask “Where are we going?” and we proceeded to have the same conversation at least ten times before we arrived. I asked her if she remembered me taking her to the doctor last week.   Of course she didn’t.   I told her that she had been quite mean to me and the doctor.   She apologized and felt just as bad about hurting me as she felt excitement in seeing me this morning. She was overwhelmed by all the equipment.   She told the doctor ...

          Alice Walker is a sweet lady who likes to sort things.  She sorts buttons and shamrocks and hats and hearts and whatever other craft is offered.  She’ll talk to anyone who will ask her questions.  I don’t know how long she’s been in the assisted living program – or if she was once as resistant as my own mother.  But she seems like a very go-with-the flow person right now.  She was spotlighted last month at the assisted living center where my mom has lived for almost two months.            Mom’s personality is very different from Alice’s.  At least right now it is.  Mom seems very anti-social – though I know she’s made friends there – or at least one friend.  Someone she says is her friend.            On Wednesday she introduced me to her friend Marilyn – although when I referred to her as Marilyn tod...