A Fork in the Road

            Many of us may have a destination in mind.  Some are fortunate enough to choose a path that they wish to follow.  For others, it may seem that life threw them a curve ball and the path they are on is not one of their choosing.  For example, you may be in a car accident on your way to work.  You may experience back injuries that will stay with you for the rest of your life.   

            You may have a son who is a victim of a knife wound that damaged his brain.  He can still carry on a conversation, even an intelligent one, but his social skills will always be like that of a nine-year-old and it will be frustrating for you to watch a forty-year-old man resort back to his immature childish reactions.  He might not be embarrassed when others snicker at him but perhaps you are.

           

            Your mother may get Alzheimer's or another form of dementia. She forgets names and events.  Her reality takes her back to another place in time - a time that you, yourself, have not experienced.  Her reality and yours are no longer the same. 

            Your niece had made plans of attending a more prestige high school in another city, but your sister gets pregnant with her second child.  Your niece now has to attend the local high school as your sister is now on bed rest and unable to drive her to the other school every day.

            Or you recently started having seizures and have been to several hospitals and doctors in less than a year and end up in a wheelchair.  You are not even seventeen.  This path you're on was definitely not part of your plan.

            Or your spouse dies three years after you marry and your only child hasn't even turned two yet.  Of course, all of these statistics affect many people.  We become caregivers or call on others to assist.  We don't wish to be a burden to anyone, nor do we wish to have our lives disrupted - not only emotionally but many feel financially drained as well.  So why does it happen?

            Why do some lose their minds at such a young age while others live to be old and just as sharp as ever?  Why are some more physically fit than others who have worked so much harder to stay in shape?  Why do some people always seem to have money while others struggle from paycheck to paycheck and never seem to get ahead?

            We might not be able to choose our trials, but we can choose our reaction - though at times displaying a positive attitude seems to be more of a challenge than our situation.  I feel bad for not being in Utah to be with my great aunt and uncle.  When my daughter-in-law passed, we went back for the funeral.  When my great uncle passed, we did not. 

            My great aunt has always been in good health and aware of his surroundings.  Her hearing had declined over the years - but she was sharp.  Both her and my uncle until his dying day.  She took a fall one Easter back in 2013.  She was in a rehab center for a while in 2013 and seemed to be getting better.  She passed the center and returned to her house. She gradually declined after that.  My cousins and family have been taking care of her.  In a way, I wish I was there to help them.  In a way, I am grateful that I have an excuse to not have to go through it again.

            Attitude is everything.  I pray that I may always have a grateful attitude.  Especially when I don't understand why the destination of the path doesn't look the same as where I thought I (or we) was/were headed.

Coincidence or By Divine Design - Relief Society

            When I'm teaching primary, I'm sitting down.  When I taught RS, I was standing up.  The sisters have decided to put themselves in a circle, which has its benefits.  I thought I might try walking around and pace myself back and forth as I've seen another instructor do - but my voice doesn't seem to carry as loud as hers nor did I have much of a voice on Sunday and so had to stand behind the microphone.

            NONE of the shoes that I wear on Sunday are very comfortable and so my feet hurt as I neared the end of my lesson and later on that night I was experiencing back pain.  I blame the shoes.  I think Roland would blame my weight.  Probably a combination of the two.

            There are posts on either my own or my brother's blog which provide several reference to everything I discussed in my lesson - well almost everything.  

Dear Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin spoke of an occasion when President Thomas S. Monson said to him: “There is a guiding hand above all things. Often when things happen, it’s not by accident. One day, when we look back at the seeming coincidences of our lives, we will realize that perhaps they weren’t so coincidental after all.”

            After I had passed around the photos of my mom and dad found in this post, I shared an experience that Roland and I had while he was a realtor.  He had made appointments for showing clients houses that were still occupied by their owners.  The clients noticed a newly listed house across the street that hadn't been on Roland's agenda because  he hadn't known about it, but as it was also occupied, he might have to make arrangements for another appointment and return at a later date.  As it turned out, the owners were gone and we were able to go inside.

            The interior of the first house seemed to have dark walls in most of its rooms.  No photos on the wall.  Just a couple on a night stand.  I thought it seemed poorly lit. The house across the street was the same exact floor plan except in reverse.  And with brighter walls.  A great big picture of an LDS temple (though I forget which one; the picture was definitely the largest I have seen - exceeding the entire length on the couch) LOTS of photographs and "families are forever" themes. It was roughly 20,000 more than any other house they looked at.  But it's the one that they wanted.  Was it a coinsidence or divine design?

  

"But remember, He has always used ordinary people to accomplish extraordinary things" - Ronald A. Rasband,  Oct 1, 2017

            I'm sure that to most people my dad was as ordinary as they come.  He was a very quiet man which I have mentioned in a post I created  the year that I started my blog. Even though we lived in the same house for over 30 years, talking to dad was often like pulling teeth.  Most of what I had shared with the sisters was second or third hand information from sources other than my dad.  I shared a bit about my dad's upbringing and his not having a testimony of the gospel - or perhaps it was just the church itself that he had strayed from.

            He was quite studios and a very good student.  In 1955 he'd been offered a full scholarship to BYU but had turned it down in order to join the navy - which he loathed.  He had joined the navy choir and had enjoyed that.  The nation was between wars and so he was never involved in active duty.  I don't think he had even left the country, but I could be wrong. Overall he really did not appreciate his time in the service.  Since he didn't talk about it, we can only speculate about what we think it was.  I think he may have found the vulgar language and lack of ethics among many of the sailors to be upsetting.

            I think my dad used Church as an escape from the navy.  One fast and testimony meeting he remembers a girl of about ten years of age (this is one of the few sources I have directly from my dad's own mouth) bore her testimony and said she knew the church was true, and he thought  - "If she can know, I can know."  And he devoted more time into finding God and getting reacquainted with the LDS faith.

          One night he was given permission to go to a Church dance.  There he met my mother.  They were married 14 months later.  They were married in Los Angeles Temple and had their wedding reception in the Church in the photo I had passed around where my father had had his picture taken 12 years before.  I don't know if my dad made the connection.  Probably not. I don't remember having seen the photo until my brother Corey posted it.  Had this all come about by coincidence or by divine design?

"Our lives are like a chessboard, and the Lord moves us from one place to another—if we are responsive to spiritual promptings. Looking back, we can see His hand in our lives" - Ronald A. Rasband,  Oct 1, 2017

             

              I then asked the sisters:  "How many of you have ever made plans about where your life was headed?  You work so many years of your life to stay on that path toward your goal and all of the sudden there is that fork in the road.  God may nudge you to go one way or perhaps you believe you made that choice on your own.  And one day you look over to where you could have been and compare it to where you are on the road right now and think:  "Hey, wait a minute.  I'm supposed to be over there on that path.  I don't think I like where this path is taking me"

            I asked the sisters if any would like to share an example.  When nobody did, I continued. The next example I shared was about Diane Ellingson. I had breifly mentioned her remarkable triumphant found here.  You can also hear her life story in her own words in a two part video fournd here.

"Sometimes life is hard and seems unfair but you are only defeated when you stop trying." - Diane Ellington Smith

" Most often, our good works are known to only a few. They are, however, recorded in heaven. One day, we will stand as a witness of our whole-souled devotion to works of righteousness." - Ronald A. Rasband,  Oct 1, 2017

            I also shared some examples about how often when we ask for blessings, God will send us the tools we need to acquire that blessing.  I used the example of Princess Merida from Disney/Pixar's "Brave"  here.

            I concluded with a poem Corey had written which could be used to desribe almost every "ordinary" person.  His poem can be found both here and here.

            Other references for my lesson include: 

Ronald A. Rasband

                                        talk found here

                my comments from talk found here

              

Mom &Dad

                                 great pictures here and here

                      dad's service in navy and awesome tribute by Corey/Cody here

               

Merida

                        trailer for Brave here       

The Sun Appears to Set in the South

        I've always been direction-ally challenged - a feature I inherited from my mom, I'm sure.  In Salt Lake I actually did know which way was east, which way was south - but outside of Salt Lake?  I am ALWAYS turned around.  It seems that I have been even more turned around living in Myrtle Creek and Tri City.

        Pacific Highway runs parellel to I5 - an interstate designed to run north and south - and does - for the most part.  Between exits 106 and 108 exists some really sharp curves - almost like traveling in a circle.  Those run east and west.  So Pacific Highway runs east and west.  I finally have that figured out after having lived here for over a year.

        The weather is not near as hot as it was last year.  I like the cool temperatures of summer.  It's one of the reasons that we moved here.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  I LOVE Oregon.