It Was a Pride Thing

 I would like to be more humble as I have always had a problem with pride. Whenever I think that I have overcome so much of my pride – wham!   I find myself fighting all over again.  And here are just two examples:

 

1)   When I was in the young women’s presidency the YW president had asked me to write a skit for camp – which I did but it took some time to incorporate my ideas.  When I tried to present my idea the YW pres. said it was no longer needed.  The girls had decided that they wanted to do something else – which really didn’t even relate to the topic.  At least at the time I didn’t think it did.  I felt a bit put out that I had worked on this skit and they didn’t even want to listen to my ideas.  And I knew it was wrong to feel resentment.  After all it is the girls who should be involved and they were.  I should have expressed praise or some kind of encouragement.  I tried to shrug it off especially since I didn’t want pride to win – and yet I think I let it win.

 We were making flags for camp that year and had an activity for each girl and leader making squares that would be added to the flag.  I did not even need to think about what I would do for my square.  It just came to me.  I based the theme on a Beetle Bailey comic strip (more detail here) and cut out the shape of a head and neck  to glue onto a red background (as it was the YW value color of individual worth – our selected value) and attached a large mustache and two little eyes.  I gave him hands.  In one he held the YW torch marked with Hymn #114 which is More Holiness Give Me (which was the hymn number for the red and blue hymnbooks.  In the green hymnbooks the hymn number is 131 and may be changed again when/if the new hymnbooks should ever come out)

 Though at the time I didn't see their skit being related to the theme I have since learned they did have good ideas and as a whole was better for all than mine would have been.

2)   Yesterday I watched a tiktok that someone had posted about gratitude to the Mormon “angels” with the destruction of Hurricane Laura.  Feeling the horrors of the fires, evacuations and the outpouring of volunteers I thought it a fitting video to share with a church group that I started.  I had missed the part where Tara Parks (original tiktok poster) said “ . . . garan . . damn . . . tee you . . .” which to some people made the video offensive and it was removed from the page because of “inappropriate language” okay . . . I guess there are a few sisters on the page that might find that offensive but I also know that others might smile at her choice of words.  I did. 

    I had missed the word that created negotiation on censorship in “Gone With the Wind” (see here) Seriously. I had missed it. I had to rewatch it.  The second time it made me laugh.  I know it would make other sisters laugh as well – but not all.  So did those who decided to have it removed even watch the entire thing?  It was funny and it had a good message.

It’s through pride that I felt offended although I had initially questioned as to whether to even posted it or not.  I didn’t (still don’t) want to be upset about it.  I understood the censorship and the concern. Thus far I haven't had to "approve" others' postings but I know the ward page changed for approval because of some "not so uplifting" content.  I found the tiktok video to be very uplifting.   

A few hours after church had ended I had reached out to at least one person who watched the video (I have no idea how many views it had before it was taken down) when I received an unexpected phone call from someone who had been added to the page.  When she called to ask about the video I felt God’s tender mercy.  Perhaps that was the initial plan. I still have a ways to go with this pride thing.  I hope these examples will help me stay where He wants me to.

Just Like Mom

Even Before my hair started turning white, I would pass a mirror and see mom’s reflection in myself.  It seemed more apparent with white hair – not that mom always had white hair.  I don’t think she let it go white until after I had gotten married and moved out.  I miss my mom.

I remember some quirky things that mom always seemed to do – like complain about having to use construction detours.  She would refer to having to “drive clear around the world”.  It made us laugh.  There were many things that she said that would put a smile on my face.  She wasn’t even trying to be funny which made it all the more humorous.

Often Jenna will laugh at things I say the same way I laughed at mom.  It doesn’t bother me.  Progressive has several commercials that state, “We can’t prevent you from becoming your parents . . .”  Well, good.  Both of my parents were rather awesome people and I am grateful when others compare me to them.  They are wonderful examples and staples of my life.

Mom and dad both wore glasses.  I remember how blind my mom was without them.  I couldn’t understand how she could not see a clock above a pool for example.  She would merge from the water and ask me what time it was and the clock was just right there!  Now I understand.  Many things are blurred or out of vision when I don’t have my glasses on.  

 She would be wearing her glasses whenever she would gravitate to any car that somehow resembled the color of our own.  We would search for the car in a parking lot and she would often go to cars that weren’t ours.  We would tease her about it.  Now my Jenna and Roland tease me when I head toward cars that aren’t even the same model.

I think of my mom often.  I have followed in her footsteps in many ways.  I love my mom.  Whenever I find myself doing some of the quirky things that I remember her doing, I think of it as a compliment that I am so much like her in more than just looks.