New Year to Finals

            It is really a sad thing to have finals right after a two week vacation.  Instead of having just one assessment or assignment - all of it is expected from here on.  Every week will be the same.  That is fine for the times I have just one class, but it seems quite challenging this particular week when I have two and have not bounced back with my mind.

            Theoretically I should be working on my assignments or posting a comment to a fellow student on discussion, but I first need to clear out my brain.  Perhaps if I brainstorm here I will have  a better understanding about what to write for my class assignment.

            We're supposed to set goals on improving our self-management.  Yesterday's daily check point had us watch a video on sleep hygiene.  Now there's my inspiration.  I haven't been sleeping well.  I KNOW I need to sleep  better to control my emotional intelligence.  I slept much better as a single person than one who is expected to share a bed.  Forget my disability to find comfort on a flat surface.  Roland and I have never been able to agree on room temperature.   If he's comfortable, I am too hot.  If I am comfortable, he is too cold.

            The air doesn't seem like it will push through the vents unless the thermostat is above 72.  There's another brilliant error design that came with our home.  The thermostat is set between the back door and kitchen and so never does get an accurate temperature of the entire house.  Duh.  Of course we never have the finances to fix or change anything.

            So last night we used a space heater that plugs directly into the wall and is not on the floor. 

   

          

The instructions are quite simple and say that the temperature goes from 60 to 90.  Who in their right mind is going to set it to 90 degrees?  I think 75 is too hot.  At the advice of a column I will reference for my assignment, on suggestion for better sleep is to keep the room cool.  I think 65 may have been a bit too cool - especially for Roland.  He was pleased to see me this morning as I usually wander into the living room during the night;  the air quality in the living room has been the right temperature for me - but the couch is a beast to sleep on.

              I don't know that either one of us really slept any better than we have been.  I usually wake between 1:30 and 2:00 because I'm hot.  My bladder woke me up at 2:30 - ah, the drawbacks of cool verses warmth.  My pipes don't leak in the warmth, but when I'm cold I've suddenly got water bursting through me.  Where does it even come from.  It's not as though I am sipping on Big Gulps during my sleep

 I've also noticed that electric heat seems drier than natural gas.  We don't even have a natural gas option in this house.  I wonder if that is what has contributed to my stomach rash.  It doesn't make sense to me, but is the only thing I can think of that is different from my normal routine - or what started out as routine anyway.

            Still searching for answers.  I do need to eat better, and that will help me sleep.  But I still need to find that perfect t temperature for both of us.

            I hadn't made the connection of exposure to light.  The article discussed getting out in the natural daylight.  There haven't been many hours of light for several days at a time.  It's been overcast, foggy, dim, kind of depressing.  The daylight effects the moods of almost all people.  All the sudden it has made sense to me.  I don't know if this post does, but I plan on posting it anyway.  Take a shower, say a prayer, get on with my day.  Hopefully I will become more alert than I am at present.

Princess M

As mentioned in a previous post, Jenna’s favorite princess is Merida.  She loves her because she seems somewhat unkempt.  She doesn’t like to follow the rules if it seems to take away from the freedom of being her.  Jenna and Merida have a lot in common.  But I think she has way more in common with Princess Melody.

Princess Melody is the offspring of Eric and Ariel from Little Mermaid.  Ariel was a mermaid who wished to have legs while her daughter was opposite – a human who wished to have fins.  If Jenna could live in the water 24/7, she would.  She has always liked water.

The last area where we spent the night was in Beaverton.  It had a fountain and it had a pool.  Unfortunately the pool does not open until Memorial weekend – and only if the weather permits.  Jenna was very disappointed with our second choice of lodging.  Roland and I were both very tired by the time we checked in.  Roland had driven more than 500 miles.  I just don’t do well on concrete beds.

I never sleep well while on vacation.  I can’t sleep flat.  Doesn’t matter the price of the room.  From my experience, all the beds I’ve slept on with paid lodging have felt like concrete.  Beth’s guest room bed may have been softer – but then she couldn’t offer a pool for Jenna or a spa – which is something that she says she and Graham miss.

Even if the pool had been opened, we probably wouldn’t have let Jenna go as neither one of us wanted to – even for a spa.  The lodging offered a breakfast, but it was not pick and choose as the first one had been.  Jenna was disappointed with that as well.  It was a good day for us to check out and return to Salt Lake – at least for the time being.

Salt Lake International

            We had asked Tony and Rochelle to house sit – not that our house needed sitting, but because we wanted them to have time to themselves and we thought that would give them the opportunity.

            After they arrived, we watched Walt Disney’s Into the Woods.  I was quite surprised when Ester joined me in the recliner.  She didn’t watch the entire movie, but she was in the recliner long enough for pictures. 

            Roland slept on the couch and I slept on the recliner while Tony and Rochelle took Ester in our room.  My, she was loud.  Enthusiastic.  Not even close to sleepy.  I don’t know what her parents did to hush her.

            I don’t know why I woke up just before 4:00.  I tried to continue sleeping.  At 4:00 a.m. I finally got up and went into the computer room to read.  I actually have three books going at the same time.  I was hoping to finish one of the library books as I did not wish to take a library book to Oregon.  I didn’t finish however, and I am at a really crucial part.

            At 5:30 Roland came in to find me and we woke up Jenna and told her to get dressed.  We also woke up Tony, who said he’d drive us to the airport.  Even if he changed his mind, his car was still behind ours.

            Tony did take us to the airport.  We packed his car – which was certainly a lot more roomy than our own.  We had seven pieces of luggage – though only one was large enough to have to be checked in.  But we had planned on checking in four pieces.

            We were told that the four pieces would be 110 dollars. What?!?  I don’t remember ever being charged for luggage before.  We were told that we were entitled to two carry-ons each.  And so we checked in the large suitcase (which actually is not all that large – just beyond carry-on size) for 25 dollars and then dragged the remaining six pieces to security.

            Roland and Jenna were pulled from the line and permitted through the first security gate right away.  I had to stand in line that led toward the other two gates.  After a while it was learned I was standing there without companions and was taken to the first gate where Jenna and Roland had gone through minutes earlier.  How weird.

            So after we had dragged all of our luggage from the baggage check to the gate, there was an announcement that the flight was full and  passengers were asked to voluntarily check in any carry-ons that they were willing. We had been willing – just not for a price.  We got to check in three pieces without expense.  Why couldn’t they have figured out their booking before we had to drag the pieces through security?  

            The plane was an older model.  I felt like we were flying in a relic.  I think there must have been turbulence on the way to Oregon.  Jenna’s flown before, but was too young to remember.  She enjoyed the flight.

The Thrill is Gone

            I have always had allergies.  It doesn’t matter what time of year.  When I was still in school, I had trained myself to fall asleep in a somewhat reclined position – that way my sinuses didn’t drain directly into my throat.  Thus I have actually spent most of my life sleeping propped rather than sleeping flat.  Roland sleeps flat.  Over the years it seems that only one or the other of us can be comfortable in bed.  But not both.

            The last three or four years I have complained about the air quality in this house and I have suffered with painful sinus infections the last two or three years.  Before that I had believed that suffering a sore throat was the worse thing – worse than headaches.  But not worse than being so disoriented that I cannot think or function.

            Because of my poor sleeping habits, I have ended up on the couch more often this year.  The recliners were actually perfect – until they gave out.  But even better than sleeping in the recliner was breathing the air that flowed between the kitchen and front room – more than twice the air trapped in my bedroom.  It was obviously a much better ventilation. I have been able to breathe and I have not had the stupid sinus infection of years past.  But poor Roland . . .

            When Roland and I were first married, his body would not dare be sick for more than twelve hours in a row.  I’m serious.  He’d have a mean cold and I would stay home just to make sure he didn’t leave the house and his cold would seriously be gone the next morning.  But over the years his body doesn’t seem to have the same resistance.  His colds hang around for a week to a month.  And he develops this cough that sounds as if he’s ready to hack up his lungs.  I feel so bad for him.  And helpless.

            My daughters-in-law have experienced the miserable sickness.  Jenna and I have been fortunate enough to remain healthy, though we have both taken Mucinex and cough drops and lots of vitamins.  Plus the weather has been quite awesome – good walking weather.  It’s been a problem to those who have made their livelihood in the snow however. 

            I heard there is suppose to be a drought for the next three years.  I can see that.  Too bad the elements haven’t balanced out across the nation – I think I’d rather deal with snow problems than with a drought.  Maybe not.  We’ll see.

            Last year Jenna and I received rides to school during the winter months.  She seemed a little bummed as she wished to keep on riding the bus and not be driven to school by car.  Evidently that wore off.  Now she wants to be driven again.  She wants to be driven and not walk or wait for bus.  It isn’t bad.  Granted, the car seems to have more perks for the passenger, but the bus has its perks too for someone who would rather not drive. But for her, the thrill of public transportation is gone.

           I think one of the greatest perks for taking the bus for both of us is that we’re forced to exercise.  No curb service next to the school – no matter what bus we use.  It’s a good walk from the bus stop to the door – or in my case around and across or up and across.  Too often we feel too worn out to walk the dog.  I used to walk him all the time when I drove.  I’d walk him near Jenna’s school.  I don’t like walking him in my neighborhood.  Not much in the way of sidewalks.  Currently there are too many dark hours at this time of year.

         Yesterday was windy.  Howling wind.  And cold.  I had my coat on both morning and afternoon.  So this morning I dressed the same – sweatshirt, jacket, coat.  The coat came off before my return.  The jacket came off at the bus stop.  Needed the sweatshirt to remain on my otherwise bare arms.  It is quite gorgeous outside right not.  In 90 minutes I’ll have to leave to get Jenna.

The Wind Has Knocked Me in a Coma - Journal Entry

I take Highness for a walk

He’s notorious for wanting attention

after we have all gone to bed

I want to wear him out

I’m already worn out

Roland and I are on the couch

watching Shark Tank

I suggest we finish watching

in our room

He let’s the dog out just before

he comes into the bedroom

to join me

“What are you doing

letting the dog out?!”

I think.

Now one of us will have to

get back out of bed

to let him in.

I can’t remember

which one of us

received that honor.

I am asleep

I missed the end of Shark Tank

I actually don’t remember

turning on the TV

maybe Roland did

It’s 2:00 in the morning

when I can hear Highness whining

“Go lay down!” I say

Sometimes that works

Highness ignores me and continues whining. 

I let him outside.

I have two pillows in my hand.

I sit on the couch in a reclined position.

I don’t know how long I have slept

when I hear Highness bark again.

He has stayed out longer than usual

How surprising

Especially when I consider that

he’d been out for five to seven hours

while I was away less than

fourteen hours ago.
Not to mention the twenty minutes or so 
when we had gone to bed

Roland wakes at 4:10.

He sees that I’m gone

and goes back to sleep.

On couch this morning. 

It is getting cold.

I decided to turn on the heat for Roland.

I don’t hear the click when I turn the dial.

I don’t check the clock.

It could have been 5:30 or 6:00.

I should have checked.

I stir on the couch

The wind is howling. 

I pull the afghan around me.

I think the heater is broken.

I get up.

I am in a daze.

I hear noise coming from

the TV in my bedroom.

I see that the light is on.

The door opens. 

Roland is fully dressed.

He says it’s 6:30.  Oh, shoot.

He was supposed to take us

to school this morning. 

Jenna has drama club

early in the morning and

he doesn’t want her left alone

before the school opens

That is why I have to go with her.

But Roland will be late

if he takes us all the way

to the school so I tell him

to go ahead and leave

Jenna is crying

because nobody had woken her up

and she believes she’s going to be late

and she didn’t get breakfast. 

None of us did.

I throw on a wrap

and grab my windbreaker for Jenna

to wear over her hoody

(which is not all that warm)

I grab a hat from my back pack

I should have grabbed one from Jenna’s room

as well

Before we head out the door

I grab an apple and banana

Roland hits McDonalds

before he gets to work

He wanted a hot chocolate

and they told him there’d be a wait.

I think he would just leave

except he already paid.

He doesn’t drink it

until he gets to work.

It tastes awful!

McDonalds messed up his order

Roland received a coffee

instead of hot chocolate.

He finds another

to give his coffee to.

Jenna and I wait for the bus.

We wait and wait and wait.

Jenna cries

as she believes she will be late
She will be if the bus is as late as it had been
last night.

We’re not going to be late.

The bus finally comes

We arrive at the school

fifteen minutes before drama club starts

My wrap blows in the wind

I am reminded of the tail end of

the song “Spirit – Freedom”

from Red Riding Hood

though my cloak doesn’t 

wave that long

I make three bus transfers

I am home by 8:30.

I turn on the TV to watch

“Dancing with the Stars”

I missed two dances

because I was asleep.

Roland calls me and relates the

events of his morning with McDonalds

Says he’ll return for lunch

and report to the manager

It’s a short day and so I leave the house

to pick up Jenna

I am wearing my windbreaker and wrap

and hat and scarf

because the wind is loud

and howling like this morning

not as cold though

but I don’t notice until I have passed

the house next door.

I remove the wrap and scarf

and return home so that

I don’t have to carry them on the bus

Before I get to the school

I have removed my hat

I pass a house with a windmill

Funny I have never noticed before

Today the wheel is spinning hard and fast

So fast it just might come off

The bell rings just before I sit down

at the bench

Jenna is playing on the playground

but does come eventually

I ask if she would like to catch the bus

in front or behind the school

she chooses front because

she needs to run inside the school

for a few moments

We notice Marvin out on the lawn

waiting for his grandfather

When we exit the school

Marvin is still waiting

It is a short day

Perhaps grandpa has forgotten

I asked Marvin if he would like me to call his grandpa

But he doesn’t know grandpa’s number

And I don’t have my old phone

Where I have grandpa’s number stored

I ask Marvin if he would like to go to the office

to call his grandpa or maybe

we could just walk him home.

I choose to walk around the school

rather than cross the field

(though it takes longer to go around)

That way we can look for grandpa’s car

in case he is on his way.

Marvin believes the sidewalk is a better choice

and faster than crossing the field.
It's not.

I don’t know why grandpa drives around to pick him up. 

His brother Isaac always crossed the field.

I wonder if Marvin has been bullied

and maybe that is why.
Or maybe it was expected last year 
because Marvin was just in half day kindergarten 
and is just used to being picked up

As we approach grandpa’s house, I notice

that his car is gone.

Marvin thinks that grandpa has gone to the store.

I hope that is where he is and

not at the school searching for Marvin.

Jenna and I continue to the main road to catch our bus.

We get off at the corner and grab

a late lunch at Burger King

before we continue our walk

to our house

I start dinner

Roland calls to say he’ll be late

He’s not hungry anyway.

He gives Jenna a coupon for a

Free smoothie or frappe from McDonalds.

She is off school for the next two days.

Wednesdays are for Sleeping In . . . zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

-->

Nearly every morning Roland gets up at 5:30.  More than not I’ll get up at that time too (provided I’m not already up – due to not being able to sleep in my room) as he needs to be to work by 7:00 (or at least it is the time he chose to be there) but does need to be to work on Wednesdays until 11:00.

On Saturday we usually go to the Church to clean.  We try to be there by 8:00 (at least for this month) and then we have the garden at 9:00 (which changes to 8:00 next month – but I think it should already be at 8:00 and then changed to 7:00) and on Sunday he’s got meetings which generally  start at 7:00 or 7:30. 

Roland’s usually up by 5:30  regardless.  But I like to stay in bed as long as possible – especially when I haven’t slept well the night before.

I didn’t seem to have any troubles whatsoever when Jenna and I were watching one of her TV programs yesterday.  After missing practically the entire program (one I hadn’t already seen forty times in the last three years) I finally told her that I was going to lay down. 

Of course by the time I got all the way to my room from the couch (less than twenty steps from couch to bed; I checked) I couldn’t get comfortable and so did not sleep in my bed yesterday but seemed to do okay on the couch (sitting up position nonetheless)

Roland doesn’t get off until 8:00 and so whenever I picked Jenna up from school on Wednesdays, we would wander – never in a hurry to get home (not that I’m ever in a hurry;  I’m pretty tired of our house and neighborhood and the number of cars that make an appearance across the street.  Biff told me he witnessed a drug bust the other night.

I have perspired so much that I’m forced to wash loads every other day.  Thank goodness I have a clothes line or my bills would be more costly than they already are.   I still dry the towels in the dryer though. The texture of sandpaper does not appeal to my wet skin.  But I like what the sun does to my whites.

I am saddened for those who have lost their homes in Colorado and pray for them.  Damn elements!

I WANT MY SPACE!

So often sitcoms will portray the girl as the snuggler and the guy as the one who needs the room.

I don’t have a problem snuggling when we’re both awake -  but when I’m in bed asleep (or trying to) I would rather not deal with that extra weight crushing my bones, leaving indentations in my body, actually making it hard to sleep. 

Roland’s a cuddler.  He’s been extremely tired all week – and very much in the middle of the bed (note it’s NOT a king size bed) leaving enough room on his side for another person while my arm dangles over the bed.  His head like a bowling ball on my shoulder. 

I could actually tolerate all of it except for the dangling arm.  It’s annoying when I look at all the room to the other side of them.  I actually wonder if there might be more room on that side.  Probably not.  If I could just take my arm off, there would be plenty of room.

Jenna likes to cuddle as well.  It worked out better when she was a baby and toddler.  Now there are parts of her body (usually an elbow or her head) that manage to find my ribcage or cut off the circulation in one of my legs.  She has always been solid.  I think she must weigh even more when she snuggles.

Roland’s always producing heat.  Great for winter camps.  Atrocious in the summer time.  I usually get up during the night to turn the fan on.  He always has the blankets around him.  Oh, please.  Like I want extra bedding around me as well.

I’m grateful that Roland does want to cuddle – that he wants to be close.  It is nice to be wanted.  Sometimes I’ll cuddle back until he falls asleep.  I do love him.  But I also love my space. 

fireworks and sleeping beneath the stars

She came to me the other night.

"What is that noise?"

"It's the fireworks (all month long)"

"I can't sleep."

That was in her bed
in her room
fan going
didn't drown out the noise.

Tonight she is in a tent in
the backyard next door

Flashlights going
I can hear her friend talking
and his Nana asking
why don't they all go to sleep.

I let Highness outside before I went to bed.
He usually returns in less than an entire minute.
But he's out there lying down.
It's been almost thirty.

He must be taking comfort in the voices of
Jenna and Trume.

Hopefully I will have more details tomorrow
about this exciting campout.