Sending out my prayers

                We passed a horrific accident returning home from the ward luncheon.  I don’t know how many people were involved or how many hurt.  I saw a stretcher out by a car in the ditch.  Ahead was a van all smashed up.  It had to have been going pretty fast to have been that smashed up – or perhaps it had been the other car that hit on the way to the ditch (I guess I don’t even know what direction the ditch car was facing)

            We had to slow down as we passed.  Tears formed in my eyes.  I don’t know what happened.  I would guess it could have been prevented.  I feel bad for the victims.  I hope things will be resolved and health will be restored.

Sharing Germs

 I have been highly allergic to most Christmas plants though the tree had never bothered me -

 but there are such a huge variety of trees.  

Ever since they had brought home their tree I started coughing.  

It may just be coincidence and it had really been the dry air which seemed to present 

a problem with my breathing. 

I obviously had not considered why we had moved to Oregon in the first place. 

Seattle welcomed me with the moist air that I had been missing

Still I carried those germs from Utah  to Oregon.

Richard shared in my cough, hacking and disrupted breathing.

We cancelled the temple trip we had made an appointment for yesterday.

Jaime was disappointed to learn we wouldn't be coming.

We stayed home nursing ourselves.

I never even did get dressed from my bed attire.

Give Me Autumn

  

Every Summer

my mind seems to

be displaced from

my body.  I am so

sleepy ALL OF THE TIME. 

It’s not healthy.

 

Every Winter

my mind always believes

it is later than it is because

the sun sets BEFORE

4:00 p.m.  What’s up with that?

 

Temperatures change and send

me into a coma in the summer and

a stupor in winter.  But

changing the clock from one

time to another does not

help with my sleeping

habits either.  I have NEVER

had good sleeping habits.

 

I have allergies all

year round.  Spring has

always been the worst though

I have experienced a

runny nose, itchy eyes and

sinus problems in

summer and winter as well.

 

Can’t we just keep the

temperatures of fall for

the entire year?  None of

the weather record highs or

record lows.  No snow, no fire,

no comas. Please keep the

 sunrise and sunset at

reasonable hours and

so forth.  Give me the

fall.  Get rid of the fatigue.

 

What Happened?

I had thoughts that

didn’t get posted or even

written to transfer into

 

Today is Steven’s birthday

Jaime’s is on the 3^rd.

Currently she is

at home but will

have to return before

her birthday as that is

when school starts again

 

Richard purchased some

bedsheets for Jaime and I

made the bed that

Ally never sleeps in. 

I thought Ally might get

excited about the décor on

the bed and so marked it with a

happy birthday sign so that

she would know it

was for Jaime.

 

Ally has been sick ever since

I don’t think she has even been

in the room since before

Jaime arrived.

Poor kid. 

Doesn’t have a typical childhood.

That’s for sure.

Thanksgiving Postponed

         I was feeling fine when I woke up on Tuesday.  I don’t know what I had encountered before noon, but I had a throbbing headache just after 12:00.  Probably Richard and I should have not gone to the temple, but we did.  We left the house before 1:00 but did not get to Central Point until 2:40. Traffic was horrible.  It doesn’t take that long to get to Ashland.

        We were signed up for the 3:00 session. Just after 5:00 we were on our way to Ashland to pick up Jaime.  We met her at a 7-11 and I had gone inside to get something for my headache.  Richard and Ally got sick first and then Biff and then me and Clair – I think Clair may have been hit the hardest.  She looks terrible.

        Jaime has spent many a Thanksgivings feeling sick.  Ironically, she is the only one who is well.  None of the rest of us even want to eat – let alone a feast.  Biff made chicken soup and I took Jaime to a friend in the ward so that she could have a real Thanksgiving – not just dinner but in the presence of company that give reason to thank.

        Meanwhile there is a turkey, yams and pies waiting to be had.  Maybe early in December?

It Was Nice While It Lasted

         Ever since they had moved into our house, Biff and Claire would sleep in until 10:00 or later.  Okay.  I get the exhaustion from traveling – but come on.  They did manage to make it up on time for the first Sunday meeting they were here.  That was the last time.

Three weeks later Ally was enrolled in the local school and then the family started getting up at 8:10 and out the door half an hour later.  Still dragged.  Still delayed.  But after Biff started his job in Roseburg, the family was up and out by 7:30.  Such a waist of gas going back and forth so that Claire could have the car.  Theoretically they could put Ally on the bus but choose not to.  So for an entire week Biff would drive the family to his work in Roseburg and Claire would take the car to the school, walk Char around and return to the house to sort and clean – pick Ally up from school (with Char) return to Roseburg.  They had a routine.  It was nice!

But after the Halloween party Ally got sick – they claim.  I don’t know.  I have been sick and now Richard is sick and it’s hard to know if Ally is really sick or not.  Richard and I are very certain that she has not felt as miserable as we.  Claire had her stay home from school on Monday but then allowed her to go trick-or-treating downtown.  Say what?  You are allowing your sick child to have candy?  Okay.  She’s been home for three days and Claire hopefully announced that maybe they could return Ally to school and then took her out for three hours last night though it was 34 degrees outside.  Seriously?  Needless to say Ally did not go to school today.  Meanwhile Richard sounds as though he is on his deathbed.  Thus far he has had tea to drink.

I’d like to see this entire household get better.  I would like to see our “guests” return to last week’s routine.  I would still prefer more distance – separate houses.  We already seem to be living separate lives.

I Can’t Believe I am 60 now

 Ever since Jaime was born, I knew that I would be 60 years of age at the time my baby graduates.  I am 60 today.  She graduates on Friday. Wow.

The weather has been perfect.  But my allergies have not been.  I haven’t enjoyed the day as much as I would like.  As of now, I don’t plan on attending church tomorrow.  Perhaps I shouldn’t have done so in the first place.  Perhaps I would be over this.  Perhaps.  I still don’t know for sure.

Richard did make a cake for my birthday.  Perhaps he shouldn't have as he has been really good with his diet until today. Jaime and I watched Soul.  I played a few games on the kindle.  Not much celebrating.  

Disconnected

         At the end of last month/start of this month, Richard’s only living sister said she had been wanting to go to South Carolina to see their mom.  Richard has too and thought that perhaps they could go together – or else at least meet up.  His sister Jean feels somewhat in the dark because of a feud that has taken place between her and the youngest brother – who has taken it upon himself to become mom’s caretaker – although I think more responsibility has fallen upon his wife.  I don’t know if it’s something she has dealt with before, but Richard’s sister does not understand.  She believes that the youngest brother and his wife are preventing phone calls and supervision.  What a mess.  It doesn’t sound to me as if Jean has ever dealt with dementia.  That’s where there mom is at.

        Last week Richard heard from Jean’s husband. They were in the process of traveling to North Carolina where Al has a relative who had been given two weeks to live.  They figured they would go and see their mom on the same trip as North Carolina and South Carolina are not that far apart.  It was a random decision on Richard’s part, but he decided he would go and join them right then.  Thus we picked up Jai from school last week and headed to the airport to drop off Roland who may be returning home today but may not return until tomorrow. We don’t know.

        Thus Jaime and I have had a reign on the house without Richard’s presence.  No cowboys or Sci-Fi.  Hardly any TV at all (I did watch a few recordings when I had been alert enough to do so) ironically Richard and I have both had colds or allergies or perhaps even COVID – though I don’t know how I would have contracted the latter.

        We’ve both been taking medicines – though I think I have taken more.  I have definitely slept more.  I’ve had tea with honey and am frankly tired of all the liquids that I’ve been sending through myself.  They all come out.  Usually whenever I cough.  I’d rather be asleep.

        I debated on whether to even go to Church on Sunday.  I wish I hadn’t gone.  I wore a mask.  I got so little out of the services.  I got even less out of the training meeting that I needed to attend.  I’ll probably mask up for the meeting that may or may not be held at 4:00 this evening.  Thus far I am feeling better.  I don’t remember ever having recouped this quickly from whatever – but I also have never been so doped up with over-the-counter and home remedies every four hours.

        I’m in a fog as I type this.  My head seems disconnected to the rest of my body.  I don’t even know if any of it makes sense or not.  I guess I can delete it once I have it figured out.

Taking Precautions

               The last three times I was with Roland when he had driven to the VA it seemed like a big ordeal.  Instead of going the usual way which leads directly to the hospital, the back roads were required in order to keep all traffic moving in one direction  - only one way in and one way out.  

Along the way we would see masked workers who would come up to the car, ask questions, take temperatures – I think they may have even offered testing but I’m not sure. 

 

https://kcby.com/news/local/roseburg-va-health-care-system-holds-veteran-influenza-clinics

You had to be healthy to get a pink slip (see here) which was the ticket into the hospital.  If you were not healthy, no pink slip for you!  I’m at a hospital . . . that’s where sick people come to be treated.  Isn’t it?

          Yesterday we learned we could have gone in the normal route as we saw no workers – health workers that is.  We did see construction workers and orange polycones and signs.  Lots of detouring and a roundabout drive more than what has been expected since COVID. 

          Normally I just stay in the car and work my puzzles while Roland goes for whatever visit he is there for.  Yesterday it was his eyes.  I should have had him roll down a window as it was hot in the car and I was getting a glare – but he had the keys and I did not.  About ten minutes and two puzzles later Roland called to tell me that I could come into the building.  He did not tell me that there was a screening set up inside.

          I put on a paper mask – and it turned out to be a good thing that I had selected paper as cloth masks are now discouraged.  I was asked first what had brought me there.  I said my husband had called me to come be with him.  I was asked to look at a list of symptoms and report if I had any of them.  I said no.  I was asked if I had been around someone who might be sick.  I said my husband.  I was given a green ticket.  I don’t know if colors really mean anything or not. 

          This area is normally empty as pictured, but all the chairs were full when I entered.  It was the only part of the hospital that I saw people.  

The VA hospital always appears as a ghost town to me – like it was abandoned by all life except maybe the janitor because it is clean. 

      

  I sat down in the waiting area where Roland had his appointment.  A veteran sat caddy cornered from me and pulled down his mask and half yelled that he can't always wear it because he has asthma and the mask makes it hard to breathe.  A worker walked through a door and turned on the TV and said he was sorry it was not already on.  The maskless vet asks if he could turn the TV to the Hallmark channel.  I smiled behind my mask.  First of all, I don't think that the Hallmark channel is available at the VA.  Secondly, it didn't seem like something he would ask for but really was refreshing from anything sports.

        His cell phone went off.  I was amused that he had set his ring tone to Golden Girls' theme "Thank You for Being a Friend"

           I posted these three pictures to my facebook page.  

We had seen these on Saturday when we had gone to Roseburg so that we could get a booster shot for Jenna.  The caption of my post was “History in the Making” as there was a convoy of National Guard who was called in to assist with the high volume of COVID cases currently in the state of Oregon.

Running Out of Options . . . Best Stay Put

                 After my eldest son’s wife passed away he was given options on how to continue.  An aunt from his mother’s side had offered for him to come live with them on the farm in Freedom, Wyoming.  His in-laws offered to allow him to continue living with them.  Of course Roland offered for him to move to Oregon.  I don’t know what it was that kept him in Utah.  I personally thought Freedom would have been the best choice.  Ali would have gotten to know cousins on the Warner side of the family.  Biff told me that she loved cows (that was when she was two – I have no idea what her interests are at present - wolves?) and she would have had the opportunity to interact with them and learn the ways of dairy farming. 

        Eventually Biff met Claire and thus stayed in Utah for her.  They finally got married.  She had fallen in love with both Biff and Ali.  Ali doesn’t remember Jeanie as she was only two years old when her mother passed.  Clair is her mom – perhaps the only mom that she will remember.  Claire didn’t want to move to Oregon because she was licensed in whatever practice in Utah but does not even work now from what I understand.  She spends a huge amount of time doting on Ali – lately at the hospital.  Ali has been in and out since December.  I recall Jeanie being in and out of the hospital quite often after we met her.  Could Ali be following in her mom’s footsteps?

        I wonder how different things might have been if Biff had brought her to Oregon three years ago or if he had gone to Wyoming.  It sounds like he and his aunt are of similar mind.  Perhaps Ali would have been diagnosed with COVID in Wyoming as well – though I think the exposure would have been less risky there than the wall-to-wall population of people in some counties in Utah.  I don’t know.  We can never know how differently life would have been if we had chosen another path.

        Now it doesn’t seem as if either Oregon or Wyoming are options as Salt Lake and surrounding areas have a wide option of hospitals and clinics.  They may be medically advanced in Portland – but Biff and Clair cannot afford anything in Portland – not that they’d want to come.  I think as long as Ali remains in and out of the hospital, they really need to stay put and take advantage of where they are. 

Deaf in One Ear

 

          I don’t guess I’ve ever had the greatest hearing.  I have always been loud.  Perhaps it was a form of compensation: I needed to talk loud in order to hear myself.  I’ve also experienced episodes of dizziness at different stages in my lifetime – most of that within the last ten years or so.  I knew they were related but didn’t know to what extreme.  It has mostly been during allergy season or when the inversion lies heavy in the air.  I have been building up fluids behind my right eardrum and have slowly been losing my hearing in that ear.  

https://www.drugs.com/cg/otitis-externa.html

          I should probably call an ENT to have the fluid removed.  Again, it doesn’t hurt, but I do find it annoying.  Meanwhile Roland has ordered some hearing aids for me and I think they will help.  Not only will my hearing become better but I believe my distorted mind may be restored and I won’t feel like such an airhead all of the time.  

I Touched My Face

           The air has been so dry.  This is NOT why we moved to Oregon.  We had moved for the moisture.  Probably we should have moved closer to the ocean.  I know I would have enjoyed the temperature more.  I can’t say it was the dry air that caused the wax build up that enters my right ear.  Always the right ear, never the left.  The last time I had a wax build up was when we lived in West Valley.  Jenna was either in first or second grade, so it has been more than eight years.  I was told the blob of wax was the size of a pencil eraser.  I suspect it is now roughly the same size.  I use ear wax removal and hot water in the shower.  I think it is smaller, but not out completely.  It doesn’t hurt but is annoying especially at night when I feel the beating of my eardrum.  I don’t remember having experienced that before.

          I haven’t taken Jenna out to the blueberry farm this entire month.  Toward the end of July I would get stomach pains due to the heat.  And then she took her turn feeling crummy.  And then back to me.  Because of my distorted hearing I seem to have lost my balance – I often feel light-headed and dizzy.  Throw my left eye into the mix and I’ve really got problems.  Though Jenna had asked if I had pink eye I chalked it up to a sinus infection that I was certain would last longer than it seems to be doing.  Still have the eye pain but not as much.  Taking showers has been helpful.  Puts a bit of moisture back into my body, but not enough to sustain me throughout the day. 

          Jenna and I drink a lot of water.  I keep a bottle on my night stand.  Normally I don’t drink the entire bottle during the night.  There are a few times when I have refilled it during the night – or the wee morning hours rather. But the last two months my bottle has been empty or near empty by the time I get up for the day even if I had refilled it during the night.   

          I have tried really hard NOT to touch my face – even before COVID but when my mind is distorted I forget.  When there is pain on different parts of the face it is hard not to touch it.

Sterile or Immune

Here is a tale about Anna and her cousin Mike whom I do not know well, but I have met him on occasion.  Each time I remember Mike had a runny nose.  I may be wrong, but it seems like during his early life (I don’t know about now) he seemed to get sick a lot.  I had heard his mom was a neat freak and would keep her house almost sterile.  If something fell on her already-maculate-floor, it would be thrown in the garbage.

            Anna, on the other hand, lived in a home with two dogs, a cat, and her parents.  Though my sister tried to keep the house clean, there were still traces of animal fur.  If something fell to the floor her dad would return it to Anna and let her know it was still okay to eat.  I don’t recall her being sick all too often or having a runny nose.  Anna developed a high immune system. 

            I don’t know if school changed that or not.  I don’t recall the report of health or if they picked up infections from other children.  I wonder if Anna had survived better than Mike had. 

The situation we are currently facing reminds me of this situation – disinfecting businesses, houses, cars, ourselves . . . how often?  I understand we are not immune to the coronavirus but at the same time wonder if we might be going overboard.  I have always been horrible with touching my face – especially the eye area during allergy season.  Coronavirus hasn’t changed that.  I am just as guilty as before.  I ‘ve caught myself drinking from the same water bottle as one of Jenna’s friends who I may think of Jenna’s sister.  I’m definitely not a Monk (see here)

So where do we draw the line? We wash our hands wear masks to protect others. And how many things do we touch while at a grocery store?  Last night I was standing in line for some pain reliever but had somewhere to be.  I had picked up several bottles as I inspected the packaging and ingredients.  I ended up leaving the item near the magazines as I no longer wished to wait in line.  How many bottles had I touched?  How many others had touched those same bottles?

Perhaps it sounds like I am but I’m really not paranoid.  I just wondered why all these common sense things that we should have been focused on all along have somehow become a mandatory staple.  We’re suppose to support the small businesses and the small businesses don’t seem to be following all the rules.  What other rules are they not following?  Not honoring the food handlers permit perhaps?  I was leary of fast food places before covid.  At present I think I am more leary. I try to be careful – but I haven’t reached the point of changing clothes the minute I walk through the door and boil everything.

The Drug Called "Sugar"

For those who have followed Corey's (calls himself Cody) blog but stopped because he did, I have a post he shared to facebook and I have his permission to repost to my blog:

I'm addicted to sugar.

When I say that I don't mean it as a joke. I really have a problem and it affects my health in a negative way.

I love the taste of sugar and I eat way too much of it. I have great difficulty resisting sweets and when I do eat sweets I overindulge (why eat one brownie when you can have six?).

And yet, I am fully aware of how terrible my sugar consumption makes me feel. I sometimes have little energy, I will often just not feel very good, and what's sad is even when I don't feel good I will still indulge in sweets that make me feel even worse. It's like an alcoholic turning to drink or a smoker who can't seem to kick the habit even though he knows he's slowly killing himself.

My mom was diabetic. I myself have been diagnosed with being prediabetic three times and then I'm "good" for a while until I get my sugar level down.

From January from September of 2017 I successfully cut the majority of sugar out of my diet and was eating much better. I felt better, I had more energy, I lost weight. It was good. But still hard. The first three days I stopped eating sugar cold turkey I felt horrible...probably because my body was so used to the constant influx of sugar and I was going through some sort of withdrawal. But I succeeded.

Then I went on vacation and fell off the wagon and haven't ever been able to get back on.

Every night I go to bed and think, "Things gotta change. I've got to eat better." In the morning I wake up with the best of intentions. But I see something sweet and my will power dissolves. And then I eat one thing and want more, even as my nausea is telling my tongue to stop. After I stop feeling terrible, it's hard to remind myself how terrible eating sugar will make me feel.

I don't particularly enjoy exercising, although I try to motivate myself to do so. I fluctuate between anywhere 199 and 216 lbs continually, depending on how diligent I'm being in my eating habits, but it's like everything I crave are the things that aren't as healthy for me.

I only write this because I am aware that I have a problem and maybe if I put this out there I can be more accountable. I see friends of mine who I know have had eating and lifestyle challenges. Some have been more successful in working on those challenges and others still struggle. I just want you to know that if you struggle with your weight and diet, I am in the same boat. And if you have managed to turn the corner and live a more healthy life, what was the turning point for you? How do you stay motivated to eat well and exercise?

Anyway, I just felt the need to put this out there.

My Tasteless World

            I remember a time when I stayed home sick from school.  My mom was also ill.  We both shared strong colds.  I remember she made us a beautiful lunch: halibut, baked potato, cottage cheese, corn.  Only the textures were different.  All of it was tasteless because of our stupid colds.

            When I was younger, I remember my dad using Fisherman’s Friends to cure a sore throat.  Those things were nasty!  Until my taste buds freaked out on me I have never been able to handle keeping a Fisherman’s Friends in my mouth until it was completely dissolved.  I am now able to keep one in there for the duration. I can barely taste it.

                                 

          I think that this loss in taste might just be a temporary thing.  Before I got my latest sinus infection, I recall a sister in the ward not showing up for a meeting as she reported her sinus condition.  Another sister swore up and down that if she would take 15000 dosage of vitamin D3 every three hours for nine hours that she would be cured.  15000?  That seemed like a lot.  And when I came down with symptoms of my own, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try.  However I could not find 15000 – not even 1500.  The closest I had come was 1000 which I selected and took every three hours for nine hours – for three days (as it did not go away in one).  Turns out I have overdosed on vitamin D3 – which I had suspected but didn’t realize I would lose my taste buds as a result.  I hope it’s only temporary.  I would like to enjoy eating again.

On the plus side I have lost weight and will continue to do so as I just don’t enjoy eating.  Oh, I did have some Top Roman noodles for lunch.  I added some crushed seaweed and tomatoes which I could taste slightly.  It is the first thing I’ve eaten for the last four days that felt almost worthy of eating.  I wanted to share that good taste with Roland.  His taste buds are working just fine and evidently my lunch was too overpowering for him and he did not appreciate the taste.  I suspect I wouldn’t under normal circumstances.

Medicine Mouth

            In May my teeth hurt along with the rest of my body.  I have made a conscience effort to brush them between medicine doses and always hope my teeth don’t rot as a result of my being sick.

           

            I do feel better today than yesterday.  My throat still hurts, but the swollen gland is a smaller size than what it was yesterday.

            I prefer drinking cold to room temperature liquids.  I enjoy gulping water.  I have never been a big fan of warm to hot drinks.  Once in a while, but certainly not on a daily basis.

            Roland, on the other hand, prefers hot drinks to cold (one of our many many oppositions) and will drink a hot chocolate even when it is 94 degrees outside.  I have learned that warm to hot drinks are better for the body’s system than cold drinks are.  Too bad.

            One cannot “gulp” when the drink is hot.  I can’t take pills (medication, vitamins) unless I am gulping.  But yesterday almost all of the liquid I put inside myself was warm to hot because warm to hot liquids are recommended for a sore throat.  Thus I will continue today.  I miss my cold water. 

A.L. Herbert Murders (Recipes Included)

 In this post I mention A.L. Herbert’s book “Murder with Fried Chicken”.  

I am now reading “Murder with Macaroni and Cheese” and am laughing at the crazy characters who get involved with yet another murder.  They have just discovered the body in a house where they didn’t belong and have returned to the scene of the crime.  I am just shaking my head about the choices they seem to be making because they are not wise choices, but because it is fiction, it is funny. 

Halia had been asked to cater her own class reunion.  There are quite a few chapters that introduce us to various characters and relationships. I had not figured out the victim of the last book, but had guessed who the victim was long before the murder – which they only suspect is a murder at this point.  But then they go and blab it to those who could very well be suspects.

This is what I am reading when I am not sleeping or fighting the infection that has been invading my body.  Not as bad as how I felt in May, but still.  I have already been sick this year.  I don’t need to be sick again.  I could go for ten years without being sick and I would seriously be fine with it.  I suspect I will be done with this book (as well as others) long before my cold is gone.  Hopefully neither Jenna nor Roland will get this.  Hopefully nobody does.

School’s out today.  Wish I felt well enough to spend it with Jenna instead of in bed trying to sleep.