Halloween in the Hanger

       Since we moved to Myrtle Creek and Jenna had become a part of the young women’s program, she has suggested that the ward do a trunk or treat.  Our ward has never done anything for Halloween – which is okay – but it is, without a doubt, her favorite holiday.  This year the young women’s president has arranged a Halloween party – the event starts at 6:00.  Jenna, meanwhile, has made another commitment.  Roland is working.  I was not too thrilled with the idea mingling with 50 – 100 people that may or may not be in the tiny church building.  If neither Jenna nor Roland are not going to go, I’m certainly not going.  I do feel bad for not supporting our YW pres. though I’m certain there will be a good attendance.  I have had such a huge case of the pandemic blues right now that I KNOW I will NOT be of great company.

          As I had mentioned in a previous post, the pandemic seems to have resorted me back to my introverted ways.  I think I have allowed myself to become more introverted than I was before we moved to Oregon.  It’s not that I’m staying holed up in my house necessarily.  I get out and walk Bonnie.  I have visited with others off and on.  I have been somewhat on the blue side.  I’m not depressed necessarily but I am definitely not ecstatic.   Just blah, I guess.  Not at all social able.

          Jenna, on the other hand, has been helping to set up and practicing her part for a haunted house type thing that I have never seen advertised.  I wouldn’t even know about it if she wasn’t involved.  But I have driven her out to the airport a couple of times.  Or near the airport.  I don’t know if the building is part of the airport or if it just appears to be – after all there is a different entrance – maybe even mailbox.  I had turned into the airport the first time, and it might go around to where the building was located, but barriers had been put up.  I already felt like I was trespassing.

          We had Bonnie with us the first time I dropped her off.  We walked around to see if there was another opening.  Jenna would have climbed through the barbwire fencing if I hadn’t stopped her.  We loaded back into the car and looked for an alternate route.  This is what the airport might look like from the building we drove to.  

That’s where Jenna will be tonight and tomorrow night.  Meanwhile I will probably keep the lights down or off, ignore the door, and watch sappy Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel.

          Roland said he initially had tomorrow off but requested extra hours.  Great.  Not quite Anakin Skywalker who appeared to have good intentions for going to the dark side. This article gives examples of both being a hero and a villain.  There are many parallels about direction that I’m reminded of.  Did I mention that I really hate Roland’s job?  I hate that he seems to depend more upon himself than upon a higher power.  I can see it going either way.  I don’t expect that he’ll ever turn into Darth Vader.  He’s more of a storm trooper at times. That annoys me.

Perspectives on Craters of the Moon

 

https://www.idahopress.com/opinion/editors_notebook/forget-national-monument-craters-
of-the-moon-should-be-a-national-park/article_084c0496-ad13-53c9-99f0-75e374fb6af5.html

            I was on my mission the first time my family visited Craters of the Moon in Arco, Idaho.  I had only heard about it – but not in full detail as I learned the second time my family had gone – just to make sure I had the opportunity. Patrick was with the family the first time but had managed to miss out the second time.  I still did not experience the fullness that the family had endured the first time around. They told me that everything looks the same.  The picture above, the picture below, whatever is behind it - it looks the same.  The scenery does not change.

            Jenna had reminded me of this as she was asking about church policies and state policies on precautions with COVID.  Unlike the rest of the RS presidency, I am not in a hurry to embrace the world as perhaps I had in 2019.  It’s too soon.  Not just for me – but many people.  And I respect their privacy.  I respect their desire to stay home.  I don’t mean to sound negative nor focus on the solitude but I know the pandemic is not over.

            I think Roland and Jenna get annoyed that I am not as anxious to be outside as they are.  Jenna then tried to remind me of the Craters of the Moon incident that I had partially related to her I don’t know how long ago.  I would have thought before Oregon.  She told what she thought she remembered and got most of it wrong.

            “Didn’t you say that one place looked the same but that when others had approached you and asked if it was worth the walk Corey said that it was.  He was focused on the good parts, right?”

            “No.  First of all, I wasn’t even with them but had heard the story second hand.  And it wasn’t Corey.  It was Patrick.  When people would approach members of my family and ask, ‘Was the trail walk worth it?’ my mom would answer that everything looked the same.  And yes, Patrick did build it up leaving the tourists to believe perhaps there was something.  After they crossed paths my mom would say to Patrick ‘Why did you tell them that?  Do you really think the walk was worth it?’  Patrick would respond, ‘No, but if I had to do all that walking, I am taking somebody down with me.’”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv07oiiyDCw

            Not the greatest response for a returned missionary to want “others to suffer as he had” but I somehow don’t believe either his or my mom’s response would have made a difference to most tourists.  My mom had related their experience when they took me back to see the caves – which let me tell you a Duracell flashlight doesn’t have enough power to explore.  You will need the strength of the sun if you go cave exploring.

            The highlight of that day trip was NOT Craters of the Moon but rather the parade we had to stop for - not by choice mind you.  We had to stop for it.  The wind blows dry in Arco – or did at that time.  Mom pulled out a fresh loaf of bread from the car and made sandwiches.  By the time we got them into our mouths the bread tasted stale. 

            I think I was more impressed with Arco and Craters of the moon than I am with the safety vs. freedom issues that are currently a part of our lives.

Alexa Has Attitude

 

Jenna's rough drawing of what Echo
and "Attitude" might appear as icons

I think I have created a couple of posts in which I refer to “Alexa”.  We have two, an echo and one built into the sound system for the TV. 

Jenna had won the echo two and a half years ago when we had gone to Salem for an open house for the online school that Roland works for.  We kept it over the fireplace for over a year before Roland purchased a new sound system for the television.  He had a choice of making it “Okay Google” or “Alexa”.  I told him to go with “Okay Google” so the two wouldn’t both activate at the same time but he chose not to listen to me and go with Alexa and moved the Echo into Jenna’s room.  But her room is too close and both would activate – at least simultaneously.

We now have the Echo in our room and have an alarm set to go off at 5:15 each weekday morning. Our room is located right next door to Jenna’s and so often both will activate (depending on who is making the request) though there is a four to seven second delay.  Usually the information is exactly the same but sometimes the Echo provides more interesting or need information whereas the one built into the speaker has attitude.  I kid you not.

Jenna has tried drawing what she thinks in her mind – the echo is a helpful student (probably kindergarten age as Alexa had said she was five years in age) while the speaker seems more like a teenager irritated about being interrupted while she is on her cell phone.  There have been times that she has flat out refused to respond.  That isn’t nice.  But seems to fit her personality.  How can an “Alexa” device feel so much different from the other.  Jenna and I like Alexa Echo but do not care for Alexa the other.

Head or Tails: Introvert or Ambivert

I have always considered myself an introvert – well maybe not always.  I was evidently extroverted in my early childhood.  School changed that.  School was not a good experience overall. I felt excluded and found myself withdrawn from wanting to be a part of life.

                            Illustration by Joshua Seong. © Verywell, 2018.

I remember being comfortable in the company of certain adults and grew to accept those who were decades older than me or several years younger than myself.  It was a long time before I was comfortable with any peers of my own age.  I never liked crowds or artificial people.  I enjoy learning but not in a structured environment.  I am better at learning when it isn’t a requirement.

I didn’t realize that it was possible to meet in the middle as AMBIVERT exists in the middle of introvert and extravert.  I am Ambivert.  Or have been at least.  Lately I realize just how much of a recluse I have become during this pandemic.  

I don’t like to go shopping.  Roland usually makes a day of it.  Four to six hours in Roseburg.  I’d rather write, organize, read, hang with Bonnie, scrapbook or sleep.  I really don’t like being around people right now – masks or not.  Don’t breathe on me.  Don’t look at me.  I would just assume find a sink hole and have the earth swallow me up.

I’ve attended a few meetings with either a small amount of sisters, missionary meetings, leadership meetings and lately the Book of Mormon class as the missionary meeting time has been changed to Wednesdays after Book of Mormon instead of Sundays in order for patrons to be corralled out and away from the building.  Sundays still feel empty sitting in spaced pews with our masks on – though I have enjoyed the messages which have been delivered.

But one morning meeting with the sisters was uncomfortable just because we were so near the freeway and I could not hear the discussion.  When I turned up my hearing aid it only enhanced the traffic sounds.

The first Book of Mormon class had us spread out and we discussed conference.  I didn’t mind that.  However young women have their activity at the same time.  Lots of youth.  Little in the way of masks.  What - are they immune?  We traded rooms for the last one.  I felt too cramped and left after only a few minutes.  I went outside and walked around just to get some fresh air.  I don’t think I cough as hard when I’m standing up as I do when I’m sitting down.

I really don’t wish to be with people anymore – or perhaps my brain is just trying to convince me so that Sundays won’t seem so dismal.  I think I’m losing my ambivert traits and am becoming withdrawn again.  I am not a depressed.  Depression is not necessarily connected to introvertism just as seeking recognition is not necessarily a part of extrovertism.  There are many times I prefer solitude.  It has always been easier to be by myself than with a group of people I don’t really feel connected to. I do tend to get depressed sometimes when I am in a crowd.

Laughter Really is the Best Medicine

       Jenna changed her tune a bit from Monday.  I woke up yesterday to find her dressed in green – well, partial green anyway.  She didn’t go overboard as she did the week prior when she dressed in yellow for spirit week.  She said she will be wearing the same thing for her birthday – her “sweet sixteen” and like everybody else’s plans will be very different from what she had planned.

          We started the series "100 Humans" and were amused by many of #23's responses, namely his 600 plus word explanation on how to play Tic Tac Toe - laughter.  It was/is greatly needed.

          We had played games the last couple of days.  Sequence on Monday and Spades last night.  We have both danced to music – even commercial jingles.  How much better our day has been when we can smile and laugh.  She had wanted to go to the park to hand out gold coins, but it has been really cold outside ever since the schools have closed. 

          This morning I found a facebook message from my sister sharing a new concern for the Salt Lake area.  In addition to the precautions for covid-19 they are facing a new challenge – that is an earthquake of a 5.7 magnitude which caused Moroni to lose his horn.  Wow!!!  

Yes, it is devastating.  Seems symbolic in a way. But at the same time, can you see the humor?  You have to laugh.  You have to give yourself the opportunity to laugh or else you will go stir crazy.

          Earthquake plus:  no children were affected by the damage to the schools as they were already home.  See here.

Timelines Include Good and Bad

                I remember my niece had some kind of surgery and had worn a pink cast in the hospital bed.  Her dad, who is a professional photographer who always takes huge amounts of pictures, did not document any of Anna’s time at the hospital.  It was a sad event not to dwell on and he didn’t want any of the family to have that painful memory.  That doesn’t change what happened.

          My sister and I have a great four-year-old nephew has cancer.  His parents (or other family members) have taken lots of pictures.  It’s a sad event – one the family just assume forget and yet it’s a milestone that may need to be documented so one day the family will have proof about facing a challenge and learning things that perhaps they would rather learn another way.  It’s not a pleasant milestone – but there will be growth and learning experiences to share.

          Anna has another cousin on her dad’s side who has battled and may continue battling cancer.  I remember Bill sharing a picture of the family standing with their then four-year-old son who had cancer.  They thought it could possibly be the last family picture with him in it.  His mom just recently dropped him off at college.  He’s a survivor and I’m betting my nephew will be also with many years ahead.

          Yesterday one of Jenna’s former instructors showed a slide of an old car seat from the sixties.  After the students made their guesses as to what it was, she told them about an incident that happened to her family involving the car, a similar car seat and an overly cautious father (ahead of his time for car safety).

          He’d been driving the family car.  They were on vacation and had pulled off the highway to get something to eat.  Because it was summer and cars didn’t have such features as A/C’s (not to mention GPS units or even seat belts in all cars as it was optional back then) the windows had been rolled down and apparently a grasshopper had invited itself to roost on their dashboard.

          The mother and father changed places so that he could lie down in back.  He had strapped himself in with two seat belts.  The instructor who told the story had been five at the time and rode in front.  In between her and her mother was her one-year-old sister sedated in the old-time car seat which did not come with a belt.  However, her father (who had purposely purchased a car that not only offered front seat belts but back seat belts as well) had removed a seat belt from a junk yard car and bolted them into his own so that a strap could be placed over the one-year-old in the car seat.

          The mother, who was driving, decided to get rid of the grasshopper. Unfortunately she made the choice while she was driving.  She somehow managed to overturn the car so that it rolled two and a half times away from the road.  The car landed upside down.

          The dad somehow managed to free himself and crawl through the window, rescuing the instructor first and then her sister.  Everybody was fine.  The mom had received a few bruises and broken skin on her left hand as she had grabbed the bar that separated the winged vent from the rest of the driver’s window.  Other than that, there weren’t any injuries to any of the passengers – only the wrecked car that had to be towed.

          The teacher telling the story said that when the police arrived, the family was asked, “Where are the victims?”

           What a great thing to survive! Well, the results being great but not so much the event itself. 

          After telling the story, she assigned the students to each write a time line including at least ten things of significance that happened during their lives.  She said some memories will be sad.  Some will be happy.  Some will be first-hand events that are remembered first-handedly and some will be the memories of other family members that have told about what took place – like the birth of the individual.  Everybody was born and so had to come up with nine more things.  I found it to be quite an interesting assignment. 

          Later I had asked Jenna if she had ever had that assignment.  She said she had not.

To Each His Own

Today is Valentines' Day. 

Bah. 

I think I was

single for so long that

I just don't get overly

excited about the holiday. 

I received Valentines in

school.  I would have

received less except for

it was mandatory to

give one to each class

mate.

I had a two week assignment

to fill in for one of the

educational aids.

Yesterday was supposed to

be my last day, but I called

in sick.

I do feel better today than

yesterday.  I wasn't scheduled

but do have the opportunity to

sub at another school but

think I should do with one day

of rest as I have been

scheduled to work for tomorrow.

I listened to the other aides

ragging on Valentine's Day

and agreed with most of their

comments.

There was one who had gotten

married on Valentine's Day.

She and her husband chose

that day so that they would

not forget their anniversary.

It was fun to discover

through Jenna's eyes when

she was younger, but I

think overall she may be

just as bah about it than I am. 

Her favorite part about Valentine's Day

is the clearance sales on

Valentine products (particularly candy)

made available the next day.

Roland surprised us both this

morning with small

boxes of chocolates

Roland likes St. Valentine's Day

It Is All About Happiness - but we all have different concepts of Happiness

            On Sunday I was told to go into the room where the young women meet as the stake presidency wanted at least one parent for every youth to sit in.  The subject was a sensitive subject but seemed to be approached from a different angle but still with a hint of snobbery. One of the stake president's counselors was showing a slide show and had used this as an example of "Satan trying to divert your attention away from him" 

referring to the "fox" as Satan. Okay, Satan can be clever, but others can be clever without deception.  Some people are better at "fitting in" than others.  But at whose expense do we fit in?

            The teens were asked if they know of others who are living together without being married.  My reaction:  "My son Biff and his girlfriend Claire."  The idea of living together was compared to test-driving cars.  I know of several couples who waited and were married in the temple and are now divorced.  I know of couples who had lived together long before they married and are still together.  Imagine that.

            Statistics prove this. Statistics prove that.  Maybe I am that fox.  Maybe I'm an exception.  My family doesn't fall into the statistics.  I don't fall into the statistics. Not now.  Not in Oregon.  I am a person.  Not a statistic.

            Moving on.  Same-sex attraction.  You can have those attractions, but if you act upon those attractions, you are doomed.  You can still be friends with those who have same-sex attraction but let them know what makes you happy.  Following the commandments makes us happy.  Okay.  I can understand this and even follow it for myself.  Being LDS makes me happy.  Uhh . . . sometimes, perhaps often, but not always.  There have been times I have felt ashamed not necessarily by WHAT was taught but HOW it was being taught - as though we are superior to anyone who acts upon same-sex desires or moves in together.  Why do they assume that it is always connected with drugs and alcohol?  Aren't there just as many straight people who turn to drugs and alcohol?  Aren't there several couples who were not only married but sealed in the temple who stray because of restrictions or calling abuse or hurt feelings?  How many couples do I know who have put on a show for the sake of the church only to have it blow up in their faces? Perhaps it's the feeling of loss when church and family may say one thing but do little with their actions to back up their words that make an individual turn to drugs hoping to get a sense of satisfaction.

            How many times have members been shocked when the "good Mormons" - idealistic even - announce: "We're getting a divorce."  Sometimes the pressure of the church (not the gospel, but the expectations and stipulations) is more than we can handle.  Sometimes we are not happy because of a value someone else had expected to be there.

            I sat in the back.  I kept my mouth shut, hoping to be led by the spirit.  The president asked how many had family members who are involved with the opposite sex.  Jenna raised her hand and was presented a follow-up question in which she responded that she wished she hadn't answered.  One leader volunteered information about a family member on facebook who's life had gone downhill once he announced his desire for a man.  One of the youth volunteered that she is now being homeschooled so that she is not around those who make poor choices.  The way she said it was very snobby like anyone not living up to her standards are beneath her.  Fortunately for all of us, Christ doesn't feel that way.

            I couldn't agree with the comments.  My brother was miserable when he was active in the church.  But it's a part of him and he understands the values.  He also understands the policies and politics.  After he came out, a burden was lifted.  He has a wonderful husband.  They have three cats.  They don't drink, smoke, swear or anything that was somehow presented as being connected.  Corey and Joh are two of the most awesome examples of true followers of Christ.  They are happy, not because of their lifestyle, but rather the choices that they've made.  They are happy because they "give" to others.  They are pleasant people to be around.  They don't fit the statics or the stereotypical biases.  But Corey is not a member of the Church.  He could not stay in the church and be with Joh.  Joh makes him happy.  The church did not.  He still lives the gospel of Jesus Christ.

            Statements that are not fact: "I was born this way"  uh, yeah.  It isn't necessarily something you are swayed into - which I think was the theme of the slideshow - being swayed, being distracted.  There are several health issues such peanut allergies that didn't seem to be such a huge concern when I was growing up.  I did know one girl in my elementary school who was allergic to milk.  Today some places have actually discontinued serving peanut butter or cooking with peanut oil because of the tremendous amount of people who are allergic to peanuts.  I think because of the wide variety of people produce who inter-marry or have affairs and make mistakes or whatever, the genes have been altered and there are just more health issues as a result.  I also think it's true of personality.  Jenna is friends with so many walks of life right now.  Homosexuals and transgenders are among those that she chooses to hang with as they share other things in common and she doesn't put conditions on anybody.

            This video was shown to prove the point of convincing power.  People can be swayed for good and for bad.  Don't members of the church often use this tool?  Don't some missionaries try this tool out for themselves?  Not every set of missionaries are compatible.  Not everyone who joins the church remains active. 

            We all laughed at the video.  It was done in fun.  But I did have two thoughts go through my head.  The pressure from bullies (though it might not fit the definition of how many might perceive bullying, they were having fun at someone else's expense) and the one from the "Emporers New Clothes" who has the courage to say "I am not going along with this; I can see that he is naked".  

            I do my best to encourage all youth not to go along with the crowd and to stand up for themselves and be who they are - even if presents a difficult choice that might cost you (giving up something [or someone] for something else) just be sure to invite God into being a part of your decision.  Doing something that is God's will can also be difficult.  Joseph Smith's life may have seemed like it may have been easier if he had just said "tired of the mobs, tired of the ridicule.  Nope.  I don't want to do this anymore."

      Each of us have our own definition of what makes us happy.  Living the gospel makes me happy.  "Holier Than Thou" attitudes do not.  Leadership suggestion makes me happy sometimes.  Prayer is my communication with God.  It is up to me to follow His guidance.

Who is To Blame?

            I was on my mission when Howard Jones released "No One is to Blame" found here. Whenever I heard the song I would visualize a lower to middle class young man who had taken a job at a country club.  He has his eyes on one of the members - a girl from a prestige family background.  He would like a relationship with her and she with him, but as they are labeled into upper class and lowly servant, there is no relationship other than "client and worker"

         

            I now hear this song expressed in some talks given by various leaders - particularly when the talk is geared toward the family.  How many others can hear these words (symbolically of course)?

            I am grateful for the ward members that I think of as family as Roland and Jenna are my only biological family in this state.  Unfortunately not all wards are the same.  There are a wide variety of members and there are some who offend - even when it's not intentional.

Attitude is Everything

          The discussion post this week is on being an effective leader.  We need to have examples about our emotional intelligence and what skills we need to improve on and how we would improve.  Roland is always coming up with ideas that I've never thought of.  I don't see myself as a leader and I knew that Roland would have some suggestions - one was my position in the family, which of course I hadn't considered.  I tried writing a few paragraphs about that - but each paragraph felt too biography and introductory and perhaps a little too horn-blowy - which is not what I wanted.  I don't know how many times I changed it before I finally turned something in.  Meanwhile I have come up with some more thoughts for a blog post.

          I remember going to a wedding reception held outdoors.  I don't even recall what time of the year, but I remember the weather was cool but not cold.  There had been a few light breezes joined by a more powerful wind.  It had knocked over the wedding cake onto the ground.  Now there are many (I'm thinking more from bridezilla's point of view) that would be upset by it - but the wedding party - for the most part just smiled and said, "Oh, well"  

          It could have been an act - but with pleasure, they can honestly laugh about it now.  It really is a healthy thing to be able to laugh about a situation rather than get angry about it.  Our family would have never gone on family vacation if we couldn't laugh at the unexpected.  What family vacation has ever gone smooth?  Our problems were always with the car or the weather, sometimes both.

          Our muffler fell off in California.  I think it was our engine that died during our trip to Canada.  There'd been heavy rain during that trip but not like we had at Universal here. 

          I remember having a rooftop cargo carrier on our station wagon.  I think it was a wind that knocked it off.  My dad, normally calm and even tempered said in frustration, "Oh, just leave it" but the rest of us somehow believed it was worth saving.  Mom had a pair of panty hose that she cut into strips and she and my brother Patrick used them to tie it down to the roof, and three of us held it down while my dad continued to drive.  We may not have seen the humor in it back then, but it is hilarious to talk about it (or think about it) today.

          And then there was the time we just coming home - though I can't remember where.  My mom was driving our little orange Honda.  The car threw a rod and she pulled over.  She chose to walk to get help and the rest of us stayed in the car.  We were fortunate as to where we broke down as we were entertained by watching hang gliders soaring through the sky.  It was awesome.  Had the car not stalled where it did, we would have not even noticed the hang gliders - though I don't think mom had the same positive experience as she chose to climb over some barb wire fencing in search of assistance. 

          There was another time when we had gone to the movies during a really cold season.  The doors had froze and wouldn't open - except for the hatchback.  We sent Corey through the hatchback and asked him if he could open the doors.  We weren't really surprised that he couldn't - I don't believe he was quite four years old at the time.  So Patrick and I (both pre-teens) also climbed in through the hatchback.  The doors wouldn't budge.  Too bad mom didn't think of giving Patrick the keys to the car to at least warm it up a little.  Mom was 8 months pregnant with Kayla.  She also climbed in through the hatchback.  What a memory. 

The End Result

          Primary programs seem necessary, but I loathe practicing for them.  I always have. As a child, my primary day was on Thursday right after school.  I was then a part of the Midvale East 4th ward.  I can remember on days when it would snow, an announcement would go over the intercom: there will be no primary for such and such a ward.  Never did they announce Midvale East 4th would be cancelled - not even once!  And some days we were faced with more severe snow!  I did not appreciate nor understand it at the time.  I have since thanked my former primary president for her love and devotion.

          However, practicing for the primary program, for me, was worse than crossing the street in the snow.  Though I do enjoy singing, I did not enjoy practicing them or keeping still or staying reverent while others took their turns. I would actually play hooky from primary and hang around the school playground until I believed that primary was over, and then I would walk home. Becoming a primary teacher hasn't changed my attitude toward practicing for the primary program - in fact I believe my attitude towards it has worsened.  Hooky doesn't come so easy as an adult who is trying to set an example.

          I don't know what happened with the primary program last year - why it didn't seem planned for.  I think we only had one or two practices.  I remember our chorister felt stressed about it.  We avoided that this year with five practices.  Last week we practiced on the stage.  Last week I was in a horrible mood. Sitting between two boys that can't keep their hands off each other.  Emily was very reverent.  She was moved to the middle between two other boys in order to set an example.  I watched our youngest primary boy in the corner doing his own thing.  I know I shot him looks of disapproval that the Savior himself would not have done.

          I woke up about 3:00 this morning.  I could feel a headache - though I don't know why - unless it was from the mistletoe I had encountered on Friday (because I had  a headache that day too) and told Roland that if I still had it by the time church started, I would not be participating in the primary program today after all (Oh, darn it all)

          This week I prayed to have a better attitude and better experience.  Last year wasn't bad. There are some really good primary programs and many that we're grateful that they have some to an end, like this one for example.  Today's program went rather well.  Everyone who could see them were impressed (those sitting four or five rows left of the podium did not have a tremendous view - if at all;  the floor plan adjacent to the stage is not the best I've ever seen - plus the fact that we don't have an overly large primary)

         

http://www.lifesjourneytoperfection.net/2016/11/all-you-

need-for-2017s-lds-primary.html#.WhH2crpFycw

          I smiled at Christopher instead of shooting disapproving looks.  Joseph sat between us and felt amused by some of Christopher's four-year-old behavior.  Sometimes I felt myself smiling with him.  The program went 1,000 times smoother than any of the practices had.

          Danny taught the lesson.  I saw the subject had been on winter quarters and thought: "How in the world does one give that lesson in just 25 minutes?"  We had been told to cut class short today because we'd be watching a movie as a reward for having performed the program.  In addition to the children in our class who had taken part in the primary program, we had a few visitors besides.  It was funny to see the look on the primary president's face when she walked past the room to get a head count of how many children there were. 

          "Oh, my word!" she let out.  It's true.  We had fourteen children in our class alone - which is probably how many children we had on stage.  There had been at least eight in the other class.  They were given ice cream to eat while they watched the movie.  Our primary room isn't accustomed to 22 plus how many ever chairs.  Some leaders were sitting, but it appeared that most were standing.  Not me.  I'm  really not claustrophobic, but I didn't want to be smashed into the primary room

I decided I'd go to Relief Society.  My headache was back.  I still don't know why.  I left the church house and arranged for Jenna to be dropped off by one of her leaders.

          I am grateful that the primary did well on their parts and song.  I'm grateful that I didn't have to have my headache on the stage and I was able to drive myself home.  I still have my headache.  I was hoping it would be gone by now.  Perhaps it's psychological.   I missed my niece's missionary farewell this morning.  I heard that Tony and Rochelle represented the family.  Of that, I am also grateful.

We Don't Always Have the Option of Choosing Our Family

        Nicki is Rochelle's sister.  She's not in any of the family pictures that were taken at Tony and Rochelle's wedding 5 1/2 years ago.  I was not aware that she even had a third sister.  All of them have an "L" sound at the end of their name - but Nicki has chosen to go by her middle name.  I think Rochelle told me that Nicki had withdrawn herself from the family and started to go by Nicki at that time - though I could be wrong.  I actually don't know Rochelle as much as I'd like.  I certainly don't know her family - only what Tony paints for me - which is less than flattering.  But Tony always sees the lemons rather than the potential of lemonade.

        Rochelle's mother passed away only two months after she and Tony married - which wasn't a great surprise; neither of her parents was in the best of shape, but I somehow believed that Rochelle's dad would go first.

        Nicki had returned for the funeral.  I guess it was then that she decided to become more involved with different family members.  Tony absolutely does not care for Nicki.  He says she's weird.  I'm guessing that she is psychologically disturbed, but again, I don't know.

        Rochelle has had some health issues that deal with childbearing.  It's said that the first pregnancy and birthing is the most difficult and the second is the easiest.  Not in Rochelle's case.  She was scheduled to be induced on the 17th, but her concerned doctor told her to check into the hospital yesterday.  It was Tony's birthday.

        How cool would that be to share a birthday with your father?  I have a cousin and uncle who shared the same birthday.  I don't think Rosa was ever bothered by it.  Jenna, on the other hand, likes the idea of having a birthday all to herself. She hoped her new niece wouldn't be born until today for that very reason.  Looks like Jenna won out.

        Unlike many parents who pick out names before the child is born, Rochelle and Tony have also procrastinated with that.  Ester did not receive a name until just before she was born.  Unfortunately, her new sister still does not have one.  Jenna and I have decided to call her Eliza as it was one of two names mentioned and we actually like it better than the other.  Ester and  Eliza sound cute together. My new granddaughter will probably be called something different from any of the possibilities given (which, of course, wasn't many).  So she will be Eliza in my blog.  9 pounds, 7 ounces 19 inches long.  Rochelle has such a tiny frame.  She must be hurting. 

Think Positive

        One of the gifts that I opened on Christmas was the Chicken Soup for the Soul "Positive Thinking"  stories full of reminders not to give up and to do whatever it takes.

        As I read I think of examples from my own life:

        Karyn was agoraphobic.  Her son had gone to a mission in Brazil and had developed feelings for a certain young lady.  After he had gone back to visit, he announced that he and this girl would be getting married and living in Brazil for a while.  Knowing that he needed some support from the family, he wanted his parents there, of course. Karyn and her husband had enough money for only one plane ticket. And because of her fears of dealing with crowds, it was decided that her husband would go.

        His job seemed to complicate the situation as far as the date was concerned.  It turned out that if he wanted to keep his job, he would not be able to fly to Brazil but said that his wife might be able to go.

        The reservations were changed so that they would be in her name, and she prayed.  She prayed long and hard.  It was a mighty challenge as she had to deal with the public at Salt Lake airport.  Imagine how terrified she was to fly into Brazil and face a more crowded airport and a more people than she could imagine.  Not to mention that the majority of people there would be speaking in a foreign tongue that she, herself, would not understand.

        She, of course, tells her story much better than I do.  I remember listening to her experience, fascinated with her determination.  I would have never guessed that she was agoraphobic - especially to the point which she expressed.  Now that's positive thinking.  I hate crowds but cannot fully relate to what she had to overcome.  What strength.  What admiration on my part.

        I wish I had all the details in order to accurately share Shauna's story.  There was a huge number of widows and shut-ins that I would go visit at least weekly.  I would go to uplift them - or at least that was my intention.  But I always saved Shauna for last or visit when I was the one who needed to be uplifted.    

        She kept records and journals that she didn't want anyone to look at until after she was gone.  She was such a great inspiration.  Her story needs to be told.  I had always thought that someone should interview her for an article in the Ensign Magazine or tell her story in any one of several  themed "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books.

        I had been told that Shauna had outlived her disease by 17 years.  I don't remember the name of the disease, but it seems to me that the tissues would swell to the point of choking out all of her other organs.  We were roughly the same age, and yet she was hooked up to oxygen while I was breathing on my own.  She remained active as long as her body would allow. 

        She had such a positive attitude and would always get dressed, because "only sick people wear pajamas all day"

        I was also told that she hadn't gone back to get her nursing degree until after she had been diagnosed.  She wanted to help people and make them feel better, and served others for as long as she was able.

        Laughter truly was the best medicine.  It was what kept her going - in addition to refusing to allow anyone or anything to take her down.

I also let the words to this song fill my mind each day.  I asked Jenna to color a sign that says: Daily Proverbs.  I change the thought every other day and try hard to apply the quotes to my life.  I really am trying to think positive.