CBQ#560

Which is greater, love of one’s parents, one’s children, one’s spouse, or one’s friend?

Love comes in various sizes and definitions.  Unfortunately we do not all define love the same way when it comes to relationships.  My initial response was the parents’ love toward their children but I know for a fact that not all “parents” feel the same way about their children that they would make the ultimate sacrifice for them – even if that means teaching them with “tough love” which is often harder on the parent than the child.

 Some people may have children but have absolutely no parenting skills or feel positive emotions toward their children.  Some people don’t know how as they were never taught themselves.  That goes the same for spouses.  Some will make small sacrifices for the other – such as cleaning the floor or ironing their shirts – it’s a sacrifice when one person does it not because of obligation but out of respect and love for the other. Of course those are just examples of small sacrifices.  Rallying around a person who has changed either mentally or physically due to an injury or aging - one spouse doting on the other.  I have seen several examples of that from both spouses and parents.

So many relationships start based on physical appearance or attraction. That doesn’t mean the relationship won’t turn into a strong love for one another.  I love Ben Wilcox explanations of love and affection found in this video.

 There are obviously different degrees of love.  Your love for your parents or children is not going to be the same as the love you have toward your spouse.  Nor is your love for pizza going to amount to what you may feel toward a person.  Hopefully your spouse is your best friend though you will have so many others that you can call friend.  You may love them all – but still different degrees of love toward each person.  Love is more than affection.  Love takes work on both sides.

https://www.theguardian.com/news/2019/
feb/11/what-is-love-and-is-it-all-in-the-mind

Different Rewards

          People pick careers for different reasons.  Some people seem to focus more on their paychecks than the occupation.  Others pick their jobs in hopes to create a better world.  Take education, for example.  I don’t know any one teacher that picked his/her career in hopes of seeking financial wealth.  I don’t think teachers get paid near enough.  Many of them make huge sacrifices.  They sacrifice time as well as money out of their own pockets.  I don’t think the majority of students appreciate that – or may even be aware.

          I know of two music instructors in the school district  that I work for.  One of the instructors spends three months at three different schools working with elementary children.  In addition she teaches before or after school band at Canyonville. 

          The other instructor teaches three classes at the high school before he has the option of taking lunch and drives to the middle school for three afternoon classes.  Today he is at the local grocery store with some students from his choir class.  He will be there again tomorrow giving up his free time to be with them and their cause. They are having a bake sale.  

         Jenna and one of her friends baked goods all morning.  They are raising money to go to San Francisco.  The music instructor does not get paid to be with him.  At least I don’t believe he does.  He believes in his students and is giving up his free time to be with them.  That’s what many instructors do.  They sacrifice themselves and their paychecks to contribute to the souls of this generation in hopes that they may instill values as well as knowledge.

          Roland wants me to be an accountant.  The rewards for an accountant are not the same as they are for a teacher or teacher’s aide.  The rewards are with the youth who let me know that I have made a difference.  It is with the youth who go out of their way to give me a one-armed hug.  It is with the youth who say “Hi” to me at the pool.  It’s a feel good award.  That is more valuable to me than the paycheck is.    

          Thank you to all the educators who make the many sacrifices that you do.  Thank you for caring about our youth.  Thank you for making a difference.

Humane Sacrifice

         

  
       Jenna had a high pain thresh hold for many years and didn’t seem whimpy at all.  But now she seems to be the opposite – making mountains out of molehills (so to speak)

She took a spill quite recently and landed on her hand.  In the process she may have sprained her wrist.  She wore an ace bandage to school and says she wants a cast – but I don’t believe that her wrist is broken.  But she says she is too weak and has a tough time with it.  One specific example that she used was in getting dressed.

I reminded her about Katy Plumis who you can read about here and here. Jenna asked me to remind me about how Katy lost her arm.  I told her that Katy had been thrown out of a car because she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.  Katy’s cousin was killed in that same accident.

Jenna then says to me that she’d rather lose her arm than her life.  But then she said something profound that pleased me because of her mature thoughtfulness.  She said she would die if it would prevent Anna (her cousin) from dying.

Learning to Love My Grass, Part 2

          So often we look at others’ lives and wish they were our own – or that we could have that kind of luxury or peace or knowledge or whatever.  For the most part we only see just one piece of the puzzle.  We see what we perceive as beautiful and elegant and glamorous; we don’t see the struggles behind whatever it is that we think we envy.

          Everybody has struggles.  Those that don’t or think they don't are at a disadvantage because they aren’t growing.  We all make sacrifices.  Little day to day things.  Sacrificing the doughnut as a result of better health.  Giving up a bit of time each month to contribute to your child’s education or the welfare of those in your neighborhood or church.  Not spending money on one’s self but giving it to another who’s more in need – though it often feels like the finances of the giver are even less than the receiver.

          I had a missionary companion whose family put all their Christmas funds into buying wheat.  That’s what Santa had left them.  It was hard for her to explain or even comprehend when she went back to school and listen to her classmates talk about gifts they had received.  She was only six.

          There have been those who have sacrificed their jobs while attending to their families or the other way around.  Losing their families because they are always at work.  Everything comes with a price – or so it seems.  And we don’t always know or understand the price that the other person has had to pay for whatever we perceive as wanting a part of our own lives.   

          And certainly the cruise appeals to us a lot more than attending a child’s bedside while at the hospital AGAIN – but at what cost.  Do we ever see the full picture?  Do we see the cruise as a luxury that we may never have because we obviously don’t have the finances that the other obviously must have.  Obviously?  Do we understand what sacrifices were made on their part in order to have a cruise – or why?

          Are they cruising to satisfy the wishes of a dying spouse?  Are they cruising because it was recommended by a physician or therapist?  Have they been setting 10 dollars aside every month for the last 30 years? 

          Until we understand fully what we see on the surface isn’t always the glamour we envision, until we understand the sacrifices made to get there, we don’t really KNOW if the other man’s grass is always greener than our own.  It may only appear that way on the surface.  But do we have an understanding of HOW it was grown?