Thanksgiving Traditions

 My daughter-in-law comes from a large family.  Four boys and four girls.  Each have learned saving tips and coupon shopping from their mom.  They had also grown up with traditions that at least the four youngest try to honor now.

There were two or three of them in the kitchen making pies the day prior to Thanksgiving. I don’t remember ever having baked beans as part of Thanksgiving dinner before, but it was a part of theirs.  A craft project of making turkeys with apple bodies, gumdrops and marshmallow parts.

My second youngest granddaughter and I took a brief walk outside.  It was nice to get to know her a little bit.

My First Car

          The first car that I had ever purchased was a used chocolate brown Volkswagen Dasher.  The only images I can find are of hatchbacks but I am certain that my car had a trunk.  I didn’t want a hatchback.  The saleman had tried selling me a Ford Pinto.  I did not want a Ford Pinto.  I did not care for the salesman’s tactic. I went and found another salesman.

not exact but think similar to what I had

          It was a cute little car, but NOT a spontaneous one.  I would have to warm the car up at least an hour before going anywhere.  I would let it warm up and allow the car to run for about five minutes and then I would have to give it an extra few minutes before I was seriously ready to go.  I don’t even know what year it was or how many years I had it.

           When I left for my mission, I allowed my brother Patrick to drive my car  - though I don’t know how often he used it – but I know he did use it.  Just before my mission ended a bird had flown into the grill and Patrick had asked a friend of ours to help him with the damage.  Replacing the grill cost more than Patrick could afford and so Dan made a temporary fix using wood as a temporary replacement.  It seemed to work at the time.  I’m sure it wouldn’t pass inspection however and I know it would be cause to pull over today. 

 

not exact but similar to how it looked

          My grandma had purchased a car for herself just before my mission.  It was a white Plymouth Duster which she didn’t drive often herself but had either me or her daughter drive it.  I remember driving her to a funeral of a kid whom neither one of us had known – but she had been friends with her mom and so had gone to support her.  One thing that I really do enjoy about most LDS funerals (or at least the ones I have been to) is even if you don’t know the person before the funeral, you will definitely know something before the funeral ends.  I like LDS funerals.  I like how they pay tribute to the life of the deceased.

 

tried to find a Plymouth Duster
without a background - no success

          After Grandma Helen died and the family was cleaning the house and marking her belongings it was decided that I would get her Plymouth Duster.  In time I understood why she never wanted to drive it herself – or why so much of the time I would just see small old ladies behind the steering wheel of this monster tank (I thought the Duster was huge).  It’s because nobody over 5’2” could feel comfortable driving.  My grandma was six feet tall - or close to. I’m 5’4”.  I could never wear a hat while driving as my head touched the ceiling as it was. 

 

          My brother, Corey, borrowed the Duster while going to school in Ephraim as he was in need of a car and I worked downtown and took the bus.  The best feature about that Plymouth Duster was that the heater worked – almost too well.  We’d have to turn on the defogger when it rained or was cold.  I remember I would always drive with one coat sleeve over my left arm as I had to have the window open.  The rest of me was still hot.

 

         

Dash HH #4

Home and Health #4:  "In childhood, did you share a bedroom with siblings or have a room to yourself?" 

          I believe it was in 1961 when my parents purchased the three bedroom house in Midvale.  I joined them a year later and had my own room.  I'm certain that I must have started my life in our new house in my parents' bedroom sleeping in a white bassinet.  I don't know how old I was when I was given my own room or why I ended up where I did.  My room was the furthest from mom and dad's room.  I think they put me in there as I was a light sleeper and heard every sound.  That is the first room I remember being mine.

          I don't know how old I was when I requested that my room be painted pink, but I remember I had to take down my posters.  I had three of girls with big eyes.  I don't even remember what each was doing or holding.  I just remember there were three backgrounds: one blue, one yellow and one pink.  

this is a scrapbook page that I created
The pictures are approximations and not actual.

          After my dad had finished painting my room, he took down the masking tape covered in pink paint.  When I went to retrieve my posters I could find two - the yellow and blue backgrounds.  I did not see the "big eyes" with the pink background.  Instead I saw a pile of masking tape surrounded by pink color.  I started crying because I thought it was my missing poster.

          Mom had painted a chair and desktop white with brass colored decals to match my white headboard. 

These aren't exact.  The center shows  the color. 
The bottom design is closest to some that were used

She had also made curtains from a fabric of white background and animals like bears and zebras dressed in pink and blue clothes - I think.  It's been quite a while and so probably not accurate.

The curtains are not the same, but the colors are close

          I was in the fourth grade when Corey was born.  When mom put the crib in my room, I had moved in Patrick's bedroom which was between my room and my mom and dad's room.  I don't know why there were two beds in his room.  The frames weren't always lined up with the mattress and sometimes someone would bump into the frame and hurt shins and below.  I remember one time Patrick was teasing me and dad was about to rescue from his taunting torture when he became a victim of the bed frame.  He left the room just as quickly as he had entered. 

          Neither Patrick nor I understood what had happened until after the fact.  Daddy's foot swelled up and the color made it appear as though he stamped grapes for a living. 

This picture represents one that has stomped
grapes and not my dad's foot.

The most amazing thing about what had taken place was dad's spiritual attitude.  He had been really angry when he had entered the room - angry enough to hurt Patrick (which was rare as my dad was a very mild-mannered man who would never hurt anyone) and considered the "frame bite" a blessing that prevented him from destroying Patrick.  What awesome faith!

          By the time Kayla came along, my parents had hired someone to refinish the basement - or at least half of it.  It was a bitter-sweet moment.  I had spent a many of hours roller skating in our basement.  I used to fasten Dawn dolls to my roller skates and pretend they were driving cars. 

we don't have an actual photo; I had
to improvise to create a illustration

Bitter as I would no longer be able to roller skate in the basement.  Sweet that I'd be getting a brand new room.  Once again I chose pink for my walls.  My curtains were gingham blue and my carpet was green.  Sounds ghastly, but it looked great with the wallpaper.  I had made this and the above page for the scrapbook that Jenna and I started here.  

Just for the record, I do not care for pink.  

Especially pastel.  

I  lived in that same house up until that I got married.  The house was not sold until after my mom needs had changed and we visiting her at assisted living.

Jenna's Wish List

Jenna has never been greedy with her wish list.

Some things are not practical.
Generally her wish is short.

She rated the following from 1 - 10,
10 being the highest.  Only 7 things on her list.
What I'd like to fulfill most is wish #4.
That will require a lot of prayer.

She just wrote her list in random order

but not order of importantness. 
The two things from the list that
she would like most
I don't have control.

1.      New  charger for tablet

(Roland finally broke down and
got one for her as she was using
up his phone battery.)      
                  rates this as a 2

2.      "Everyone wants to steal your cheese" t- shirt

          rates a 7. 

3.      toy box chocolate surprise                  
          I don't even know what that is
          rates a 4

 4.     a good friend to move in across the street         

          this is one we both would like
          both of us would make this a 10

5.      common sense hoodie

          rates a 5

6.      better singing skills     rates a 6

          I think somebody in the ward
          offers singing lessons.  I will look more
          into that

7.      brothers    10


She would also like to see it snow.  I don't foresee that happening anytime soon.

Creating Memories With Two Brothers

            I remember how I enjoyed watching fireworks when I was younger.  I remember lighting sparklers with my dad and dancing around the yard.  Fireworks were reserved for July 4^th (anniversary of our nation) and July 24^th (anniversary of our state) and gradually that turned into weekends. 

Here in our part of west Valley, the fireworks happen EVERY SINGLE DAY IN JULY – or at least from the 3^rd to the 27^th.  Jenna’s enthusiasm shines for each holiday.  She’d been nagging Roland for some time to get fireworks whenever we pass firework stands or displays.  

 

Somewhere along the way (and I’m not really certain when) I outgrew the thrill of fireworks.  I get headaches from the smoke.  I have a hard time breathing when I am outside.  I’m no longer a night owl and thus not very fun parent.  But we try.  Jenna often feels bummed as she often feels like an only child.

I texted her brothers to see if any would like to assist with the fireworks.  Two of them answered.  Randy and Carrie came to the house and all lit all of the fireworks.  And while they were doing that, Tony called to see if Roland could bring Jenna out to where he’s staying.  Randy offered to drive her, and she will stay the night.

Thank you Randy and Tony for assisting in the memory-making department.  Happy Independence Day!

 

A True Story That Makes Me Laugh

 

All three or my boys were in high school at the time.  (I don’t remember if I had given birth to Jenna yet) They were 15, 16, and 17.  My husband often referred (and still does) to the 15 year old as Casper as he had a way of disappearing for every chore.

One night Biff and Tony were washing dishes when Randy went on one of his disappearing jaunts.  He had excused himself to get music – or perhaps it was already playing – his idea of music anyway.

Biff and Tony listened to Soft Jazz and oldies.  Randy listened to what kids his age would listen to – I guess.  Still listens to bizarreness with no beat really.  I don’t care for what he thinks of as music.  Apparently neither did his brothers.

As Biff and Tony (who are both older than Randy – but only by one of two years) continued to do dishes they went into discussion about how Randy was of another generation.  I started laughing.  So they tried to correct their mistake by saying, “Well, kids that are Randy’s age” which made me laugh all the more.

“You guys are all actually of the same generation and pretty close in age.”  I reminded them.  Still, they were convinced that the distance between them and Randy was the same as between them and Jenna.   She’s technically the same generation also, but there is a distance between technology and current events. 

Academically, Randy and Jenna seem the brightest.  Biff has innocence and can often recognize things that the others overlook.  Tony is currently the only one with children – well one daughter.  But long before he even thought of getting married, he was the only prepared for changing diapers.  Still is.  He’s the only one of my three boys who would change Jenna – though Biff took a stab at it, the change was unsuccessful as he couldn’t figure out how to work the diaper.

Having them believe their age is so much greater always cracks me up when I think about that night when they were doing dishes.

My Three Sons

       
         When I got married for the first (and only) time, I not only got a husband,  I had a ready-made family. Our boys were 11, 12 and 14 (we were married six weeks prior to the 12 year old turning 13)

          I met the youngest one first.  My mom and I had gone over to a quadplex unit to visit someone.  We had knocked at the door but there was no reply.  I don’t know if Randy called “Hi” to us from the tree before or after we knocked.  He smiled brightly but gave no information about himself nor inquired who we were.    As it turned out the sister we were searching for had moved out and Randy was actually living at that particular unit with his two brothers and dad.

          Randy was ten going on eleven.  We had the same size hands at the time.  He shared a room with his two older brothers.  His part of the bunk and dresser top were spotless.  Randy was (still is) very neat.   Very polite kid.  Somewhat of a con artist.  Full of smiles and gratitude.

          Tony was twelve.  Very insecure.  Very much feeling the need to be accepted.  Very much wanting a stable family.

          The first time that I met Tony was inside the quadplex unit.  He had set up pop bottles at the end of the hall, using them as bowling pins as he hurled a ball towards them over the bumpy carpet.

Tony was (and still is) very different from his brothers. When we took the boys out to purchase suits for Sunday wear, our oldest and youngest went for a conservative look that one often does find in Church.  Tony wanted the loud royal blue with pinstripes, a suit designed for either the stage or very young pimps.  We had discouraged him from buying the suit that he truly wanted. (Perhaps we should have purchased it for him)

Biff actually turned 14 before Roland and I were married.  He’s always been big into health and fitness, worked out all the time, had muscles and sparkling teeth.  We had given him three tubes of toothpaste for his birthday and sent him and his brothers through a maze to play laser tag. 

All three boys had fun, but Biff was especially grateful for the toothpaste – which I’m sure took him less than a month to finish.  Upon seeing Biff’s gift, Tony panicked.  “I don’t think I’d want a shirt or tooth paste for my birthday.”

I just smiled at him and said, “And I would never get you toothpaste.  You and Biff are two entirely different people.”

I seriously didn’t even know Biff could talk for about three or four months.  Very quiet.  Always smiled.  Always put himself to bed at six and then would arise at four and walk over to the junior high and run around the track until the school doors opened.

What terrible parents we were.  It was rare that we ever got up to see our boys off to school.  And sometimes Randy would play hooky out of boredom.  He was the only one I didn’t worry about academically.  And he was the only one who made a big deal about seeing ALL of his teachers.  Which was hard. Especially when I had all three of them in junior high and 21 different teachers to see (all by myself as Roland was working )

Our boys are 17, 16 and 15 years older than Jenna.  Now they are men, all in their 20’s.

           

          Tony was the first of the three to get married.  He had joined the army and had proposed right before he went in.  Has sparkling white teeth now – and I have given him toothpaste as a gift.  Lots of gifts are different than when he was fourteen.

          Soon I will be a grandmother as he and his wife are expecting their first baby. 

          Randy goes to school full time.  Assists with orientation and enrollment.  Many things seem to come so natural and easy for him.  He catches on quickly – like a duck to water.  He is definitely the most extraverted of the three. And now he is engaged.  I will have another daughter-in-law midway through this year.

          Biff has had jobs off and on.  Nothing stable – mostly due to the economy.  Lot’s of temp jobs and trying to pass the ABVAB as the army would definitely provide benefits.  Being paid to work out, for one.

          He’s tried his hand at relationships.  Biff is sweet and has some really great qualities, but not everybody sees that.  Biff is an animal charmer.  The barkiest dogs will greet Biff as though he is a long lost friend.  I have never seen any animal behave mean around Biff.

          He is awesome at putting puzzles together or finding the difference in hidden pictures.  He is a loner.  Often he just chooses to be that way.  But sometimes he feels lonely.  He’s got some great one on one social skills around certain people.  Unfortunately many view his overall social skills as being awkward.

          Jenna assures me that Biff is the greatest “tucker-inner”  and he is definitely strong. As of now he has a “platonic girlfriend” They’re really good friends, and I would LOVE to have her as a daughter-in-law, but at this point I don’t believe that anything more will come of it except for being friends.

And there’s a very brief description of my three sons.

My Brothers: Quiet Strength

I have two brothers.  Patrick is two years younger than I.  Corey is nine years younger.  Both brothers are quite knowledgeable in the gospel.  Both are quiet.  Both are very forgiving of others.  Both pocess qualities very much like our dad. Both attend Church meetings each week – but each is on a mission that’s entirely different from the other

          The eldest of the two currently serves as second counselor in the bishopric. Patrick is diligent and responsible.  Keeps confidences.  He’s organized.  GREAT father! Coveted husband. A good guy whom people respect.  Did I mention quiet?

          I am actually closer to Corey than I am to Patrick.  Corey is an actor.  When he appears on stage it isn’t known how quiet he is when he’s not performing.  Corey is very diligent and responsible.  He keeps confidences.  He is very organized.  People respect him. People admire him. When he’s not performing, Corey is pretty quiet.

          Corey attends two meetings on Sunday.  He does not hold a calling.  He doesn’t participate in class.  He doesn’t bear his testimony – not allowed anyway.  But he does have one. Recently he attended a conference for the LDS gay and lesbian community and did have the opportunity to bear his testimony there.  And he bears testimony in his Blog as well.  He’s a great example.

          I learn so much from my brothers’ examples.  Neither gets uptight with situations at hand.  It is what it is.  They are very compassionate and forgiving.  They don’t get mad at other people.  Mistakes happen.  There is always allowance.  I need to hang around my brothers more. 

          I’ve tried letting go of that grudge thing – it hasn’t always worked.  I know I am a lot happier when I can let it go and move on. Though I don’t always let go.  It eats at me.  I’m not saying my brothers aren’t ever bothered – but they are a lot more forgiving than I – especially Patrick.

          Corey usually resorts to writing letters.  He will wait a few days before mailing or confronting.  More times than not he’s gotten over whatever it was and ends up just throwing the letter away.   But there have been times the letter was mailed.  And for the most part that seems to produce positive results as well (or at least that how it appears to me)

          Corey is a lot more eloquent with words than I.  For the most part I don’t have that gift – especially verbally. So often my words are misconstrued.  I don’t know if it’s the delivery or my approach or what.   But there have been hurt feelings – whereas Corey’s anger doesn’t always transfer – even verbally.  He is pretty calm at explaining himself and often gets the other person to see his point of view – even if not agreed with – he just has a better way of presenting himself.

          I get upset or frustrated.  I often cry.  I wish one could lose weight through tears.  I’m sure I’d be wearing the same size as Metal’s Barbie.

          I love my brothers.  I love their example.  I will continue to strive to be more like them.