Discrimination and Other Struggles part 1

               Every essay needs a thesis statement, at least three body paragraphs and a concluding paragraph.  Jenna is now taking an English based on writing letters to solicit scholarship funds.  Her first theme currently is “Beat the Odds Scholarship”.  I looked over her first rough draft and we changed some of it.  It’s still not perfect but we knew that going in. 

One of the suggestions that her instructor has was that she should focus on overcoming disabilities or hardships that affected her life.  Jenna’s only comment was the pandemic which is definitely NOT a personal struggle.  It is still a struggle nonetheless – and the only one that either of us can think of. 

        The fact that Roland and I are college graduates has already kept Jenna from the summer program that at least one of her friends had gone to this year.  Our family way of life offers many benefits over that of most of her friends.  Many come from broken homes.  Some have ambitions and some do not.  Each student is struggling in ways that Jenna often doesn’t or just can’t relate to. 

Jenna has ALWAYS enjoyed learning.  She has ALWAYS looked forward to school.  Her greatest years thus far (I kid you not) were the years spent in middle school (I haven’t known many who have relished the “junior high” years – but she truly did).  Jenna is her own person and is not swayed by others. 

        The global pandemic is not a personal problem but is definitely an issue that has somewhat deflated her soul.  She tries so hard to remain positive but seems to be walking on broken shells on an unfriendly beach trying hard to get to the water but hasn’t reached it yet.  She said she is going to start recording the days that she doesn’t cry about some sort of frustration.  She’s been in school only three days and I’m certain that things will pick up.  Currently she is in her bare feet standing on the sand.

        Because she was taken out of school she was also taken out of the system – meaning any logins or passwords she used as a sophomore are null and void as a senior.  She has to start over.  Because one of the staff encountered COVID, all others had to quarantine – which put them behind. 

Jenna has a physical copy of her schedule, but it is not in the system to check.  It has been frustrating.  But perhaps it’s the booster that Roland thinks she needs to leave high school behind and enter into the real world. 

        When we moved into this community Jenna and I became a part of it.  We were eager to assist one another.  It was a great place to be.  Now everybody is so torn up about the economy and making everything so political that there are civil wars taking place all over the nation.  I don’t know what states and/or cities are the safest to be in right now.  Roland and I each want Jenna to succeed in whatever she does.  Question is where?  And what can we afford?

        Roland just accepted a position as a salesman at a jewelry store.  Not a job I was anxious about and still not comfortable with – although it won’t wear him out as did the warehouse position that he had attempted for three days but his body is not in the greatest shape to continue.  And he loves sales and is good at it. 

He’s currently learning his lines and I am trying to bite my tongue though I’m doing a really lousy job at using the word “snake” to describe the average salesman.  His “acting role” is putting me out even further.  If he is successful at this job and can provide an education for Jenna, great.  But my fear is he will make too much in order for her to qualify for benefits – “rumor has it that he sells engagement rings and therefore is wealthy enough to provide for his little girl”. 

        Having a representative working at a jewelry store does not a Rockefeller make.  Jenna may not appreciate that we have been financially struggling since before she was born.  We moved because of lack of finances.  She had received reduced lunch and was on the receiving end of the school charity drives.  At the time she did not see it as a setback but truly did appreciate wearing new shoes that she was given at school or whatever it was.  She and her friends will joke about it now, calling it the drive for the poor kids, which doesn’t sound nice but seems easier to accept when you realize that you are or have been one of them.

        We don’t have riches but are definitely not struggling anymore – even though Roland was let go from the online position as the school closed.  He’s really not ready to retire as he seems to have the drive to do something.  Jenna has been involved with volunteer work and earned money picking blueberries for three summers.  Her passion is now in the theatre arts.  She believes everyone needs to be entertained – especially during this time of uncertainty.  She does entertain.

        I don’t like to see my baby struggle but I realize just as this pandemic has been a growing time for me it will be her.  She just might not see that now.

Living Sci-Fi Continues

          From the beginning of the pandemic, the horrific pictures in the media, the stay-at-home and lock down orders, mask mandates, verbal battles, etc. has been a reminder to some cheesy sci-fi that gets played on the Comet station.  Only we are really living it – though some are still in denial about it doesn’t change that it is and has been part of our lives for one to two years.         

        Jenna is currently in the high school library with a bunch of other students who have not yet received their schedules.  At least she’s not alone.  She has always been enthusiastic and fired to return to school – even last year when I wouldn’t let her.  This year is worse than last year was – more deaths, more cases.  That is why she doesn’t have a schedule and is in the library waiting. 

photo credit source here

         We had recently discussed how each generation has had its challenges.  She wishes she could experience the childhood that I did – back in the day before school shootings were all too common.  Back in a day when there were definite roles between men and women.  A day without internet.  People somehow seemed more humane and kindness mattered in the business world – at least if you were white.  I think there may be a large number of non-whites who would describe my childhood days with a different description. 

photo credit source here

        I have been on my knees pleading with the Lord that Jenna may make it through her senior year with the same attitude she has always had prior to COVID.  If she does happen to wear a smile no one will be able to see it unless there’s a twinkle in her eyes – which comes and goes.  I suspect it has in all of us.

photo credit source here

The Peeing Section and “We Are Out of Coffee!!!!”

 

        During the pandemic it has been up to each state government to lay down the law of mandating mask, social distancing, reopening, etc.  It wasn’t long before facebook became flooded with this message: “Having some states lock down and others not lock down is like having a peeing section in the swimming pool”.  Yet there are some companies that seem to be encourage traveling?  “Hey, come and pee in my state!  We don’t have enough of it?”  I am a guilty party as I traveled with my family to New York last June.  Did we bring some pee with us?  Not intentionally. Did we bring it back to Oregon? Possibly. But not from New York. It had been our flight from Detroit and our stop at Salt Lake airport that felt the most concerning. 

        Roland had asked for some time off the end of this month as we have arranged to have our floors done (inviting pee?  Perhaps.  Our floors are in very sad shape) but the flooring we wanted is currently on back order and the company has run behind.  They may not make it until May.  Roland is fed up – thinks we should use someone else.  We are in a rural area.  We are going to run into the same problem no matter where we go. We have a guarantee that this guy will do sub flooring.  That is our problem.  

        Our subfloors are in terrible shape (or at least I am assuming)  We are not going to have that same guarantee through Lowe’s.  They can’t even guarantee that we will have the same contractor throughout the entire project.  I am willing to wait.  I don’t want to change lanes only to fall further behind (here) 

Roland now wants to leave the state – take Jenna to Universal and return.  Two days in the car for one day at the park and a return home again?  I think not.  Besides Universal is open only to California residents. That is the way it should be.  Each state should have restrictions about letting in tourists – it isn’t an option for those traveling outside the country or to Hawaii (from what I understand) the traveler MUST quarantine for 14 days – and on the traveler’s dime at that.  So why would a desired traveler even bother?

Roland has good intentions.  Always has good intentions but is not always wise when it comes to making decisions.  Why not take the boys and other family members to Lagoon (an amusement park in Farmington, Utah) on the 24^th of this month.  We can invite family members of Roland’s late wife.  We already have 15 – 20 people to begin with (half under the age of 11) and now he wants more?  How are we supposed to social distance?  Not that my boys believe in that.  So far it doesn’t sound like a fun day to have to wear a mask the entire time we are in the park. 

It doesn’t have to be the park.  Roland has an entire list of suggestions. It’s like he’s oblivious of the year decade 2020 – like the pandemic has vanished and everything has returned to normal.  I recently reminded him of a skit I had seen on Electric Company back in the early 1970’s. A man goes into a shop and orders a doughnut and some coffee.  Rita Moreno's character says, "We're all out of coffee" so then he changes his order to a sweetroll and a coffee and is once again told "We're all out of coffee".  He proceeds to go through a list of baked goods with coffee and Rita Moreno's character appears to become more upset until finally the guy says, "Maybe I will have just coffee"  

I feel like I am screaming the same thing over and over.  Jenna thinks I’m a killjoy – sucking the fun out of the possibilities of what could be.  I don’t mean to sound pessimistic – but realistically “We Are Out of Coffee”.  I’m not the one who initialized the pandemic!  I’m not the one who voted to have a peeing section in the pool!  I’m sorry that they think I am a fun-sucker because I know that the pee can spread to others – even if that wasn’t my intent.  There are other people on this planet.  The pandemic will not last forever – though it has already lingered around longer than necessary because of those who believe in the peeing section.  It’s frustrating.

https://exit78.com/peeing-section/

Roland was watching the news last night.  He learned that new cases have been spiking all over the country.  Well, duh.  I hope that it sinks in.  He knows it’s not just me.  It’s not even paranoia.  It’s being cautious.  It’s trying to stay safe.  The pandemic is not over folks.  Vaccinations aren’t going to change the attitude of those that believe that the peeing section will work and that we still have plenty of coffee to go around – metaphorically speaking.

A Year Ago This Week

One year ago today – Friday the 13^th.  They tried to pass it off as an extension of Spring Break and were confident it wouldn’t last.  How did they think it wouldn’t last? Last day at school for the remainder of the year. Well, maybe not for everybody.  It was for me.  And in person for Jenna – who has friends in quarantine and reminds them about last year at this time.

March 7^th was a Saturday.  Ester was scheduled to be baptized and Gary would be the following week.  But Bill and Kayla changed it so that Gary would be baptized at the same time as Ester’s baptism.  Different wards. 

March 8^th was a Sunday – unbeknownst to us, the last Church meeting’s to be held for over six months in 2020. 

On the 9^th this year I received a memory that was written in 2011.  It said “It sounds like now days that it is going to come down to the fact for parents to take it upon themselves to home school.”  Wow!

We had scheduled an activity for the 14^th.  On the 11^th we were wondering if we should postpone – or cancel as it turned out.  For on the 12^th (the day before our last day of school) the Prophet announced “Church at Home”  What???  Our ward is small enough that surely we would be able to meet.  But the lockdown applied to us as well.

So Spring Break is coming up.  Last year they dismissed the students early.  Told them that they would have an extended spring break - they didn't know it would be for five months!  In addition to spring break is daylight saving.  Why the heck do we still have daylight saving???? When will this nightmare end?

One Last Hoorah – at least until the Curse lifts

        I believe it was February 10 I had taken a personal day to be with my group of friends that I’ve been hanging out with for the last two or three years after the pool and once a month when the pool is closed.  We enjoy going to Soco and visiting outdoors but when it has gotten colder, we have gone to Good Dogs.  Our meetings have usually gone for less than two hours, but on the 10^th we were there for over three.

        Sue got in trouble – first with the owner as she had parked her car in front and it should be reserved for other customers.  Apparently her husband was not all that thrilled she had been gone so long.  They put me in charge of this month.  We were supposed to meet at lunch at a nearby place which offers Mexican food.  I thought this week would be good as I would be off during spring break.  We had no clue than that spring break would turn out not to be much of a break afterall (or perhaps too much of a break - depending on how it is viewed).

        Caroline really wished for the four of us to get together this month and had suggested a picnic at Millsite.  I was the only one willing and able as the other two are now housebound – and I think after today, we are too – which has been really hard for Jenna.  Facing the reality that her “sweet sixteen” will not be even close to what she had planned.  I know of at least one person who didn’t feel his plans were disrupted and is enjoying the opportunity of solitude – something that Jenna just doesn’t relate to.

        So Jenna and I met Caroline at an order-to-go where Caroline purchased a fish sandwich.  Jenna saw a friend in line and gave her a hug.  I joked that that was not socially acceptable and they resorted to elbow bumps.  Caroline was freaked at the amount of people and how closely they were standing to one another.  Jaime and I were scolded and kept our distance as Caroline waited for her sandwich. She had already made it clear that we would not be going in the same car and asked me to follow her. 

        There was tranquility to a degree as we sat at a table and ate our sandwiches and then Caroline showed us around and took us to the river – which by the way was gorgeous.  Except for the sounds of the occasional cars driving by, I felt secluded from the rest of the world.  It was an awesome place to be. 

Jenna took all of the photos; this one is of
a labyrinth.  Unfortunately could not capture all

We did not play checkers or even had any games.  It
may not have gone over well for Caroline to touch
game pieces that had not been sanitized each round

        After returning home, I have decided that perhaps we should not venture out of the house anymore until things return to normal - will there be a normal?  We have enough food and water supply to last several months should it come to that.  Right now our governor seems optimistic that schools will be opening April 28^th.  Meanwhile California and Washington have reported no more school for this school year.  I can’t imagine that things will be brighter for us in 5 weeks and not the rest of the west coast – or country – or world.

        I think this year is the most I have ever looked forward to general conference. April 4th and 5th.  Tune in.  Even if you are not of the LDS faith but are having issues with the pandemic - the broadcast will help calm you.  You'll see.