Invitation Answers post 1

          It has been less than a year since I graduated from the online college that I attended.  Recently I received an email from the school with an interest in candid photos in which I could share my personal story.  I am usually the one behind the camera – or was.  Jenna has taken over that job and has taken countless photos.  I don’t know that any of them say “success” as far as “look where our student is now”. 

          Included was a list of questions which I was more interested in answering with words than with photos.  The first five wanted reasons about why I had gone to college – specifically their school.  Umm . . . because my husband is an underpaid employee who works for your company and thus we took advantage of getting an expensive education for his time. 

          Roland had majored in graphic arts when we were living in Utah.  He was also working from home.  He would spend hours on end at the computer – though he had initially said that the university only expects you to sign in four days a week and then you’re only on the computer for a couple of hours.  NOT true.  He spent more time on the computer with his assignments than he did for work – or so it seemed.  Actually he didn’t.  But he did spend more than 18 hours a week with graphic arts. 

          Graphic arts may be a more demanding field than accounting – especially since he asked to have two classes at a time.  Sometimes two classes felt overwhelming to me – but often one class wasn’t enough for me personally.  I don’t know how people working full time were able to manage.

           I chose accounting – not because I love business and figures.  I don’t.  But I certainly wasn’t willing to go into business or graphic arts.  The other alternative was health care which I believe has to have hands on classes as well.  I mean, it’s not like you can lean into the screen and demonstrate CPR or check vitals or what have you.  I have been trying to balance our personal budget since before Roland and I were married.  I figured maybe I could learn to apply things into my own personal records without actually seeking work in that field. 

           The first two courses I had were computer basics and learning soft skills.  Although I seemed to butt heads with the instructor of the latter, and really didn’t understand why the class was a requirement at first, I did learn from it.  As I have mentioned countless times, my favorite classes had absolutely no connection to accounting other than life skills and the “how to”s for working with people.  I applied these principals into my church callings and later on as a teacher’s aide with the school district.  I had even allowed myself to use my current situations to apply to whatever I happened to be learning.  I truly learned a lot.  Particularly about referencing.  I may have not appreciated it at the time but with all the hoax postings and gullible friends, it has become quite apparent who understands what reliable sources are and who remains clueless. 

                   I have brainstormed over many of these questions and have three pages of notes which should make for at least three more posts.  I don’t wish to ignore what is going on in the states but don’t wish to dwell on it either.  Trump’s promise to “make America great again” has been no different thah Hitler’s promise to Austria or Germany.  Did you know that swastika used to be a symbol of peace? But Hitler was quick about changing that concept. (see here) I know many of my friends already view the American flag in a similar manner.  Trump did not make America great again.  It’s been torn apart since before he got into office.  The tears are bloody and fiery now.

Oh, the joys of technology.

Though my communications class started on Monday, the lecture isn’t given until Wednesday morning.  I am not able to attend the live session when I am working and cannot listen to the recording until after I return home.  The instructor does have a question-answer period on that same day but I don’t want to just pop in and start asking questions she may have already covered in the video and yet if they are not covered in the recorded lecture, I have missed my opportunity for asking live.  I feel like I am working with a two-edged sword.  I don’t like it.

Our initial discussion post is due on Wednesday, but I like to have it done by Monday or Tuesday.  Sometimes the discussion doesn’t get covered in its entirety anyway.  Thus I did post what I had written based on what I read.  But I had missed the point of the assignment and did not get that turned in until just several hours ago.  There was something mentioned during the lecture that made me realize I hadn’t read the expectations correctly.  I had also missed having to contact the writing center two or three times before I decided to turn it in.

What?  I have to use the writing center to complete this assignment?  It’s been required for at least two other classes and has always been a traumatic experience for me.  Always!  I was never able to keep an appointment or was always late getting in because I have never been able to connect to Blackboard collaboration right away – even when I had believed that the tech at the school had fixed it for me.  Every time I go to sign on, it asks me to download it into the system.  Every time!  Shouldn’t it already be there? 

So my appointment was scheduled for 4:30 MDT yesterday.  I attempted signing in just before 4:00.  Download.  Wait.  Connect.  Really?  I got connected?  I still had twenty minutes before my appointment.

I was told that she had just finished up her 4:00 appointment and I was welcome to start my session early.  I was hoping that she had access to the document I had submitted at the time of my making the appointment.  My computer and laptop haven’t been communicating as usual and I couldn’t retrieve the document from either device.  The assignment hadn’t been saved to my laptop (though I had used the cloud) and my pc seems to be at a frozen stage whereas I am not getting any icons to click on nor does the search allow me to type anything.  Roland thinks the keyboard is the problem.  I don’t see how.

Define Your Dash: more links

          I have followed a few blogs off and on.  Many of the creators have stopped posting.  Others have closed for privacy or discontinued the blog altogether.   My niece had three blogs going - though not all simultaneously.  The first one was one that a friend had started when they were living in Thailand in the summer of 2011.  She had started another the year that my mother died.  Her first post was a tear jerker.  She made some profound thoughts - much like her mother.  I have wished that Sunny would create a blog to post to. 

          Ellen (not her real name.  Unlike Corey and I, she uses the real actual names in her blogs) started off her first post mentioning how every journal she starts will include a history of herself.  I can relate to that.  I have tried cramming my entire life into a few pages - often repeating myself and then slowly drifting away from it only to start over again later on. I absolutely love her profound thoughts and her ability to comparing her entries to puzzle pieces hoping that someday the pieces will all fit into one finished puzzle.

          She writes how early in her marriage she felt that she had been forced into responsibilities that she was not prepared to handle.  Perhaps "force" is not the correct word.  It was just an awkward situation for all of us - a situation which a newly married couple shouldn't have to deal with.  I think there may have been some resentment on my part as well. 

          In 2009 the economy had treated so many unkindly.  We were in jeopardy of losing our house.  We had two boys on missions and were in need of temporary housing.  I had asked my mom if we could stay with her for a while.  I figured that it would be good for her as it was for us because her dementia was starting to kick in and we knew it was only a matter of time before her mind got worse.  I also knew that Biff would be able to lift her if she were to fall.  Someone would have been with her around the clock.  I don't think either of my brothers believed her condition would worsen as quickly as it did.  We did not move in with my mom.  I suppose I felt a bit miffed a few years later when I learned that Nate and Ellen were moving in.  It wasn't anything personal.  It was the dementia.  Mom hadn't even remembered my asking. 

          She seemed pretty normal for the first year that Nate and Ellen had moved in with her.  But by their second year, mom's mind was being robbed of any present or future common knowledge and often diverted into the past.  Nate and Ellen were still newlyweds.  Their living arrangements in helping to care for mom turned into way more than they had bargained for.  Of course, it did!  Ellen was struggling with her emotions.  I was too - and I wasn't under the same roof as Ellen was.  I can understand her resentments and frustrations.  I really can.

          The name of her first post was called " Don't Be Sorry"  It's her description of the situation and seeing my mom in the assisted living that tugged at my heartstrings.  Even now - 5 years later.  Well, just over 5 years.  Her first post was on July 28, 2013 - just over five weeks before my mom passed. Her last post was on June 25, 2017 "Define Your Dash #25".  On January 1 of that same year, she had accepted the "Define Your Dash" challenge - or had attempted it rather - although she had pretty much been "defining her dash" all along. I don't know if she made that connection or had ever thought of it that way.  So what exactly does it mean to "Define One's Dash"?

          This website here gives us a glimpse into what the "dash" represents.  It is the "line" between the birthdate and the death date as written on a grave marker or funeral program.  

It is the "dash" - or time between birth and death.  This post gives a bit of insight to those who may not have "defined their dashes" or perhaps the discovery still needs to be made.  Defining your dash is to write down your memories, your recollections, your history.  It is what makes you.  By writing what your "dash" is, you are defining what that "line" represents.   

          There are 52 writing suggestions found here that remind me of the pieces of paper I can retrieve from my journal jar here, though I like the symbolic meaning for the "dash" or "line" between the two dates.  That is our life!  We need to write a legacy for our families so that we are more than just two dates etched in stone.  52 suggestions to outline the year if you were to write one each week.  Ellen posted 25 of them.  For Linda Ellis's full poem about the dash, see here.  Feel inspired.  Write for yourself.  Write for your posterity. 

Overwhelmed

          As I have already mentioned, I had started two classes on Labor Day this month.  One in managerial accounting and the other in financing.  My accounting class seems like a refresher course as there is some familiarity within the topics. It also feels like a prequel to my financing class and I wish I had it BEFORE my financing class and not side-by-side as I tend to get the two mixed up and have actually turned in one assignment for one class into the other.

          Fortunately I have really good instructors in both classes who have been able to give me feedback right away instead of waiting until the end of the week as was the case with my last instructor who did announce ahead of time that his grading day is Sunday and that is it.

          I am having the hardest time with the subject at hand.  Valuation principals and investments and blah, blah, blah . . . One class asks me how a manager makes a decision (no, it isn't my managerial accounting, it's the other one . . . see what I mean) and so I look up all of these references for one class and end up using them for the other class.

          Most of my accounting assignments have been in excel and so I don't have to have all those references in my back up file.  When I am asked to write about a personal finance decision (wrong again - the 300 word project about personal financing is for the accounting class; it is the second part to be handed in along with the excel assignment) I am looking at all these words and definitions trying hard to apply it to my personal life, but they're all business words and I am not a business and I have absolutely no desire to be!

          We make estimated guesses.  We cannot predict the future.  We can't control what downfall the economy may have to endure due to natural disasters.  I have so many thoughts in my head and they are spilling over.  I don't like the riled up emotion I feel when I am trying to answer the questions.  Roland has always been able to separate business from personal life.  Not me.  I cannot keep my emotions out of it!

          And then there is the scrapbook I had gone through that has triggered all sorts of thoughts.  I knew I couldn't sit down and write just one post and do my assignments.  So I broke my thoughts into several posts that still managed to beg for me to write them - and hey, why not?  I couldn't focus on my assignments anyway. I'm not worried about failing the class.  I've been getting As the entire time except for one class - with an instructor who would pass out virtual caramels - I was late turning in an assignment and so did not get full credit.  I think I was taking two classes at that time also. 

          I feel fortunate that I had only one class in July and one class last mod.  I don't know how I managed with the two classes that started on the day of Jeanie's funeral.  I felt like I had been in a coma for three weeks.  Perhaps that is the secret - have my subconscious take over.  I just felt so tired I don't think it was possible to experience emotion.  Since school started for Jenna, I've been neglecting the library also.  I find it necessary  to take a breather.

Where's the Passion

                Serena asked if I would write a news article about the library. She sent over some ideas of what was wanted and asked if I could do it in 100sh words.  That's not a lot of words.  I could easily do more than 1000.  I did over 400 and just barely scratched the service.  I have not heard back from her.

                I enjoyed the first economy class that I took several times more than the current class I'm taking.  To give my readers an idea of how foreign this subject is to me, let me share with you the discussion and assignment topics:    Explain why you think the Federal Reserve Bank tracks M1 and M2.  OR  List and explain each of the three traditional tools the central bank has for controlling the money supply. Which is the most popular? Why?; Now with these things in mind, Please choose ONE of the following. Your response should be 600 words long:

1) Explain what will happen to the Money Multiplier process if there is an increase in the Reserve Requirement.

2) Why does expansionary monetary policy cause interest rates to drop?

3) There is a well-known economic model called the Phillips Curve. Using a discussion on expansion and contradiction policy, explain why one of these variables usually falls when the other rises.

600 words?  They might as well ask me to write it in klingon.  What the heck?  So not only do I have to come up with 600 words (when I'm not even able to come up with 6) but I have to do some research to explore what the heck any of this even means.

                I chose Phillip's curve.  I thought there would be more information about it.  None of my references are 600 words long.  There have been one or two paragraphs before details of two other scientists whose theories go into more detail.  Okay, okay.  Let's look up Phillips -find out who he is, explain some of his background.  Still less than 300 words.  Now what?  Also this is supposed to be my opinion and yet I am supposed to write my opinion in third person?  Why not just tell me to type it all out without using my fingers?

                One of my references was actually written in first person.  It made it personal.  The reference was made in 2008 before the economy started referring to our slump as a recession.  The Great Recession as a matter of fact.  Great?  What was so great about it?  So half my assignment is on defining Phillips and the other half is about the recession.

                Conclusion: Though it is said that the unemployment rate has had no bearing on the inflation as an economy, those who are unemployed or who are employed but struggling, deal with personal inflation on a daily basis.  My assignment will not be graded until Sunday.

                Thus far I'm receiving a good grade in the class.  I am so grateful I have only the one class right now as it seems to be eating up a lot of my time and I have allowed myself to become somewhat hostile about my current situation.  Jenna returns to school on Tuesday.  I would rather spend my time with her than digging thorough a subject that isn't near and dear to my heart and feeling helpless about the unemployment status and the economy.