Different Strokes For Different Folks

               I remember attending a month long theatre camp when I was 15 years old.  For the most part the youth who attended the camp resided in the dorms which housed BYU students during the school year.  There was one youth who had traveled with his parents.  He was eleven.  Very talented and gifted child.  I don’t know if he was an only child but that is how I saw him. 

His mother doted on him 24/7.  She would accompany to all the rehearsals, activities and whatever else we had going on.  She was an older parent who wouldn’t allow Trevor to be out of her sight.  I felt bad for him.  As gifted as he was with the piano, he lacked social skills.  He behaved differently the few times his mom was out of sight – which was rare.  I think he was abusing his freedoms.

Clair told me that her sibs will dote on Ally just as she does.  Neither Jaime or I dote.  Neither one of us are especially fond of being around children as a whole.  Of course there are exceptions.  We will become a friend but neither one of us dote.  Clair says that Ally doesn’t understand what her relationship is with Jaime as she doesn’t dote as her other aunts do. 

Jaime and I are more about self-reliance – but as with Trevor (in the example above) she will only try to do things herself when she doesn’t have permission – like reaching for items in the fridge that she isn’t supposed to have or scaring the dogs with her remote control car.

Well That Seems Presumptuous of You

         Since they moved in Claire has just taken over where they put things and when it will get put away.  Biff just goes along with it.  They had invaded our  fridge with Ally’s medicine – even after they had hooked up their own.  After Richard and I returned home from Costco one day I took it upon myself to move the remainder of Ally’s medicine into their small fridge and told them that I needed our fridge for actual food.

Richard and I had to restack their items that they put in my brand new shed.  Exploded and unorganized.  It still is, but at least Richard was able to make some space for our things.  On the plus side we are finally able to get to the Christmas tree.  So kudos to them for that – I guess.  Still haven’t found a home for the fish tank which takes up so much room.  They don’t need to hang on to all that they brought with them.  Why did they bring it?  But I suppose we could say the same about all the stuff I have yet to sort through for myself.

The latest assumption was when Richard invited Biff to go and see some Marvel movie that I, of course, have no interest in.  Claire, upon hearing the invitation, asked if she could go or if it was just a boy thing.  Richard really didn’t mind taking her but made it clear that Ally would be staying home with me and would not be going to the movies with them.

I don’t know if Claire looks at me as incompetent – which I probably am when it comes to Ally.  I definitely do not have Claire’s gift of patience or her compassion towards Ally. Richard and I have raised our children – and we were old parents when we had Jaime.  Jaime was pretty perfect compared to most children and Ally is on a complete different end of the scale.  Richard and I are old – raised in an entirely different generation.  We don’t have the tolerance for  having to put up with Ally’s behavior behind closed doors.  Why would we want to subject ourselves to that?

Claire suggested that they take Ally to the movies and they could watch Gru in one theatre while the boys watched the Marvel movie in the other.  Ally would really like the experience  of being in the theatre.  Ally is spoiled.  Nevermind that the Marvel movie and Gru are two different lengths and would not start or end at the same time.  Richard did not give in.  Said Gru was available on our TV and Ally could watch it from the couch.

But you can’t experience theatre popcorn from the couch.  The TV is so much smaller.  Whip out the violins!  If giving Ally the theatre experience is really that important to you, then Claire and Biff need to set aside 30 – 50 dollars and take Ally to the movies themselves!  Wouldn’t it be more meaningful for them to “give” that gift to Ally instead of constantly “taking”.  Perhaps it’s an ADD thing.  Give them an inch and they want a mile. If you’re not going to allow us to discipline Ally as we see fit than don’t expect us to be present for any outburst that she may have.  And she will have them.  She has at least one meltdown a day.

 Biff and Richard ended up going to the movies by themselves.  I have heard Ally laugh.  I have seen her smile.  She had three meltdowns from the time I started this post and now posting.  I wish the weather had been more promising and I had gone to Ashland.  But Jaime did get some things accomplished and managed to enjoy herself.  So that's good.