Beneath the Wraps

  I think in many cases the “personality” quizzes are geared towards job/career and not so much “personal” life.   But I seldom ever take a quiz with a job in mind, let alone a career.   Why not just make a career out of uplifting others?   Even if it means one doesn’t get paid.   Money isn’t everything.   Nor does it necessarily equal success.   Not in my book anyway. There have been many times I have passed up opportunities or advance in promotion when I know that someone else can benefit.  I think putting another’s happiness before my own can make me equally as happy if not more than if I allowed myself to take the reigns.  One example that comes to mind is when a friend and I had joined a bowling team.  One of the members was a single guy who seemed to be interested in both of us, and I knew she liked him.  I could have gone out with him but thought she might do better in his company.  They were marrie...

                This morning I took Bonnie for a longer walk than usual – or rather she walked me.  I don’t know why she thinks she has to move at freeway speed.  I know it isn’t comfortable for her to have her collar choking her as I am leaning against the leash trying to slow her down.  She never learns.  For the most part she has pulled either me or Jenna along.              I don’t know what triggered my memory of Houdini or entering him in the pet contest at Cinco de Mayo celebration that Kearns does every year – or at least each year we had lived there.   We had this hairy dog who loved his boys and would often “escape” to look for them – sometimes ending up at the elementary school or pound.             There were several categories in which we could have entered Houdini.   He would have blown all other dogs out of the water ...

         The smoke must have cleared out as I was able to see stars above the skylight.  I hope it may remain behind the hills or better yet disappear all together.  Bless the many fire fighters who are battling the flames.          A funeral was held yesterday at the church.  The second I've attended in person rather than virtually since the pandemic made its way to the US.  As with the last funeral, the service did not take place until after the body had been buried - or in yesterday's case, cremated.          Jenna had been asked to sing with her friend, Heather.  They performed two songs: "I am a Child of God" and "Where Love is".  I remember them learning the latter in primary after Jenna had already graduated to Young Women's.  It is one of my favorite primary songs and it makes me feel bad that I somehow missed out on teaching or singing it to Jenna.    ...

  I was not on facebook at all on December 31 or January 2.  It was nice.  So many times I have considered removing myself from being connected but there are aspects I enjoy such as “ Come Follow Me ” and keeping connected with the ward relief society and different community pages.  More pluses than negatives if I will allow myself to look at it that way. The only reason I had turned on my computer yesterday was because Roland wanted to send Randy a card for his birthday – which is tomorrow and will not get to him in time if we were to mail it out.   If my computer is opened I will open the internet and dabble.   Last night I saw a notification from a member in the ward who I have bonded with in some ways but do not always choose to read her posts and wish I would have gone with my first impulse NOT to click on the notification but ignore – but it was Sunday and she often does share inspirational messages.   No, last night was a question and answe...

                I wish I had taken the time to record my thoughts and try to transcribe them instead of the pathetic attempt to post the following:            Jenna has an assignment due today.   She asked if I could bounce around some ideas in order to help her.   The topic is “ Defunding the Police – Why or Why Not? ” Her thoughts mirrored my own when the subject started making its way around facebook.           “ Why would we defund the police?   That is so wrong.   It ’ s their job to serve and protect us.   Why would we want to take that away? ”           I obviously had not understood why so many seemed to support it until I saw this political cartoon   this was shared on facebook.  Unfortunately I am  unable to cite its orginal source but would like to ...

          It was the third week of Church for the ward I ’ m in.  My sister Kayla said her ward had returned last month – or possibly in July.  She said that the members will attend every other week in order to allow social distancing.  I think that ’ s great that there are that many in attendance as the last time I had gone to her ward the attendance seemed even less than what this ward has been – a lot of empty pews and much social distancing – even before it was a thing.           Wearing a mask can be bothersome, but it ’ s not a tremendous sacrifice on my part nor am I too proud to wear one.  I appreciate surgeons and dentists wearing masks, all the frontline workers required to wear a mask all day.  Surely if they can do it for 4 – 10 hour shifts, a few minutes to a few hours shouldn ’ t be a big deal for me.  The mask is not the problem.  It ’ s not being able to connect in the way that we ...

          When Jenna and I were both in middle school, we would roll our eyes over the dramatics of “couples” displaying affection and expressing emotion only to break up and express drama.   Gag.   Both of us were determined not to experience the stupid emotions ourselves – at least not in school.   Not middle school.   Not high school.   She had plans of “not ever”.  I succeeded with keeping my emotions in tact all through high school.  No love interests.  No broken hearts.  She, on the other hand, has had two "shedding tears" experiences.           She and Nathan were friends, but he was starting to like her as more than a friend and told her so.   Things would have been perfectly fine if he hadn’t said anything.   They would have remained just friends and no stupid emotions would have entered the picture.   It was nerve racking...

          I had always believed that New Year’s Day was for taking down the Christmas decorations and putting them away as that is the day my mom had always done that.   I had tried carrying it over to the family I am with right now.   Sometimes it works, but not always.   Roland always seems anxious to take it down right after Christmas.                     We did not wait until New Year’s for the outside decorations but removed the lights and ornaments, electric cords and so forth from the yard.   We started at 10:00 Tuesday morning before the fog had completely lifted.   Roland announced that it was going to rain.   He was right.   It poured.   I can’t remember what time it started pouring, but it was still light outside.   I don’t think the pouring stopped until after midnight.       ...

She became aware of boy/girl relationships during middle school.   She thought they were stupid.   All the emotions.   All of the game playing.   All of the drama.   The entire idea of relationships was stupid.   They did not appeal to her and she was fine and secure on her own.   She remained that way throughout middle school and her freshman year. Then came summer. They were friends.   There were generally four of them who hung around one another during lunch.   Not necessarily to eat, but to play games and enjoy one another’s company. He really liked her.   First as a friend.   Then maybe something more.   Not too much more.   He had been in a relationship before.   He did not need another.   And yet he found her to be adorable.   He liked holding her hand and leaning on her.   What’s more, he enjoyed it when she leaned on him. He told her that he would not date her.   Or at le...

I find it interesting that the topic of my last class focused on Medicare and social security.   The topic of my current class has been the brain, stress and this week’s topic on sleep disorders – which I have had my entire life.   Thus I’m making discoveries.   I am also getting the feeling that I need to put my affairs in order and start throwing away mountains of stuff so that Roland and Jenna won’t have to do it in the event I leave this earth.           I’m not saying that death is around the corner.   It just feels like it in some ways.   Perhaps it’s just the side effects of still trying to heal from bronchitis and still coughing and not breathing right.   I was told at the doctor’s office that my breathing was off.   I don’t think it’s the bronchitis that’s to blame.   My breathing has always been off.   I think more off as I age.   My pipes are small and seem to shrink with ...

                This is my third week taking my class called “Sociology of Ageism”.   It’s been an interesting class, but I have been on an emotional roller coaster with the topics this week.   Our discussion is on assisted living and long term health care and thus I’ve been reminiscing on what health care I would have liked for my mom versus what was settled for due to the expense.                 I was in tears during the lecture as more triggers reintroduced me to some painful times during my mother’s final years and how it affected each family member not only with my mom but with one another.   Whenever my instructor asked a question, I would provide an answer in lengthy detail to share the gist of what was felt – but not everything I felt.   It wasn’t until after class that I posted a second discussion for a...

          Before I had a chance to sit down after I arrived in the chapel yesterday, a sweet sister came up to me and put her arm around me and asked if there was/is something wrong.   She is one of the very few people who saw me the week prior.   She had seen me on the stand along with the primary.   Many others hadn't noticed me.   Those who sit directly in front of or to the left side of the pulpit may not have noticed the primary as a whole.   We are out of view even when we're standing unless it is at the  pulpit.           I have been rather melancholy this entire month.   I didn't know why but have since figured it out.   While I truly love this sister, we really don't have that intimate of a connection.   I've seen her outside of the church on occasion , but for the most part I know that our contact is only two or three times a month at bes...