Beneath the Wraps

                It's been a year since Jeanie passed - not that I dwell on dates when people died.   Her mom does.   She's always posting the birthdays and death dates of those who have passed on.   Some days are better for her than others.   I think some days may be worse for her than they were for Jeanie.   I can't say for certain since most of the correspondence I've had with them has been through facebook.   I didn't even have that with Jeanie those times that she not only unfriended me but blocked me as well.   Apparently, it was the medication disrupting her otherwise rational mind.   It not only shattered her own emotions, but I had allowed myself to become upset as well.   I may never know the entire scheme of things; I did learn so much more about her at her funeral than I had ever known about her before.         ...

         I don't know how long my brother-in-law, Bill, had known his first wife before they had married.   They had dated in high school - I don't know if it was serious and if she waited for him to return from his mission, or if she just happened to be available when she returned.   It wasn't until her funeral that I had learned she had been born with eleven toes.   When she was still an infant, an operation was performed to remove the extra toe.           Her mother spoke at her funeral and had mentioned that AnnaLeigh had been in and out of Primary Children's Hospital at least forty times before she turned eighteen. I'm guessing she had health problems when the two were married.   Six months after they were married, she was diagnosed with another medical problem.   I'm thinking Hodgkin's.   I know her health became a trial for both of them - though not many people saw it from Bill'...

          Though I have had a small hand and say in making funeral arrangements, I have not had the opportunity of having to find a mortuary nor have considered every financial expect.   Before either of my parents had passed, there needed to be a record of what funeral home to contact should they expire.   My dad lived out his final days at Cottonwood Hospital in Murray, Utah.   Ironically, he had also been born there (or so I was told) but at that time it had been called Cottonwood Maternity Ward and wasn't the full blown hospital where he had died.                Mom had used a local mortuary as a contact I’m guessing because it was familiar territory as it had been used by other members of our ward.   Before mom passed, Corey had made arrangements for Premier Funeral – though none of us had heard of it before, it really does seem the most economical way to go.     ...

       Recently I had a dream that I was cleaning around the house when I noticed a plastic bag with a collage of items inside.  I was startled to see a rather large spider crawling toward the top.  Of course I freaked.  This was not any ordinary spider - it was one that would be displayed at a zoo or museum because of its enormous size - 2-3 times larger than the tarantula.  And dirty blonde.  It was creepy.        I thought by sealing up the plastic bag, I would have better control over the fate of the spider, but it managed to escape - which of course made it more scary.  Though it appeared to be larger than many rodents, it moved quickly and I didn't always know where the spider was. The spider I dreamed was more blonde (not as much brown) but the size is about the same.  Too many pictures to wade through.  I still have chills.        ...

          Yesterday morning was overly dark.  It was cold and raining.  It mirrored the emotions of my heart           I had heard a quote from a TV show that got me thinking.  The quote was something to the affect of, "sometimes things get broken and sometimes broken things just can't be fixed"                     There is a number of tangible items that have had to be discarded as they have either gone beyond repair or just don't seem worth the effort.  How blessed we are that we are God's children and are worth the effort of not being broken - though for many of us some trials have made us question our worth.           Earlier in December, my eldest daughter-in-law chose to not only defriend me on facebook, but block her ...