Beneath the Wraps

                 During the course of our blogs, my brother and I have both mentioned how our growing up years may have seemed idealistic – how our share of problems pale in comparison to countless others.  I don’t relate to dysfunctional families and am highly grateful for that.  As I looked around the room during Relief Society yesterday I noticed each one of the sisters (or most of them) had been a part of a dysfunctional family either in childhood or parenthood – sometimes both I felt a sense of sadness.  I don’t/didn’t wish to appear like I was boasting with my “unexpected answer to prayer” example compared to great struggles and hardships of others.          I am GRATEFUL to be an oddball.   The closest I have come to experiencing the dysfunctional thing has been on the outside seeing a glimpse of Biff’s challenges and his in-laws.   I hadn’t thought of them as dysfunctional but there ...

                I forget the stuff that hurt me.  Try to shake it off and focus on the good memories.  For instance, when my son got married to Bridezilla (she wasn’t always, but she was that day – as well as several others) my sister sent her oldest daughter to attend the wedding as Bill had agreed to be their photographer.  So we took Anna with us to keep an eye on her.  Jaime and Ester were dressed in purple gowns as they had been selected as flower girls along Jeanie’s two nieces.  Unbeknownst to Jeanie, her mom looked at Anna thoughtfully and asked if she would like to be a part of the flower girl ensemble.  Anna was not wearing purple.  She was dressed in blue and Jaime was thrilled to walk with her as they threw peddles out of a basket.          It didn’t seem any different than having Ester escorted by her mom.   After all, Ester was only two.   Perhaps ...

          At the end of last month/start of this month, Richard ’ s only living sister said she had been wanting to go to South Carolina to see their mom.  Richard has too and thought that perhaps they could go together – or else at least meet up.  His sister Jean feels somewhat in the dark because of a feud that has taken place between her and the youngest brother – who has taken it upon himself to become mom ’ s caretaker – although I think more responsibility has fallen upon his wife.  I don ’ t know if it ’ s something she has dealt with before, but Richard ’ s sister does not understand.  She believes that the youngest brother and his wife are preventing phone calls and supervision.  What a mess.  It doesn ’ t sound to me as if Jean has ever dealt with dementia.  That ’ s where there mom is at.         Last week Richard heard from Jean ’ s husband. They were in the process of traveli...

            Jack was raised by his mother.   He had not known his father, but his mother showed him pictures of the man she claimed to be his dad.   She had raised him with his father’s last name which wasn’t questioned until he tried to get a passport.   He dropped the surname that he had always gone by. Recently he reached out to Roland who had been avid about family history for a few years.   If he could not find someone that he was related to through ancestry he would click on the hints for other family members – such as his late wife or my side of the family.   Jack was interested in knowing more about my grandfather – who was the only grandfather I had really known.   My paternal grandfather passed when I was quite young and I had only met my mom’s biological father only once or twice but certainly did not know him as a grandpa.   Ralph had married my grandmother when my mom was a teenager.   That’s the g...

           B efore Jenna was born I started keeping a journal for her – writing it in first person as though she were writing it – guessing what she was thinking.   I ended up with 10 volumes from 2004 – 2013.   I had stopped printing pages the year that my mom passed.   I continued with scrapbook pages left in the computer and flash drives and continued our first year in Oregon, but then allowed her to take over - which she has discontinued. Anyway, we have been rereading through her books during this pandemic.   I appreciate having recorded what I did as there is much I have forgotten.   I remember myself having been uptight all of the time – but perhaps not as often as I had believed.   I had always felt blessed with such a happy girl and wanted to help her stay that way – trying hard to stay positive though not always successful and it shows in my writing particularly when her sisters would visit. I was not so much agai...

She became aware of boy/girl relationships during middle school.   She thought they were stupid.   All the emotions.   All of the game playing.   All of the drama.   The entire idea of relationships was stupid.   They did not appeal to her and she was fine and secure on her own.   She remained that way throughout middle school and her freshman year. Then came summer. They were friends.   There were generally four of them who hung around one another during lunch.   Not necessarily to eat, but to play games and enjoy one another’s company. He really liked her.   First as a friend.   Then maybe something more.   Not too much more.   He had been in a relationship before.   He did not need another.   And yet he found her to be adorable.   He liked holding her hand and leaning on her.   What’s more, he enjoyed it when she leaned on him. He told her that he would not date her.   Or at le...

What causes stress?             Moving causes stress – especially when the moving date has changed and you are not prepared as you believe you have more time to pack everything.              It is stressful looking for a house to move into.             A job can be stressful – especially one that lays on the pressure for an academic advisor to reach the unreasonable goal of ten starts each month.   How can an academic advisor seriously be accountable for a student changing his or her mind?   Especially when the referrals given come from people who were searching for jobs and filled out a school interest on accident as they believed it was a part of the job application?             Stress is trying to fill out a job application online or take a test for school when the Wi-Fi seems to have troubles staying connecte...