I forget the stuff that hurt me. Try to shake it off and focus on the good memories. For instance, when my son got married to Bridezilla (she wasn’t always, but she was that day – as well as several others) my sister sent her oldest daughter to attend the wedding as Bill had agreed to be their photographer. So we took Anna with us to keep an eye on her. Jaime and Ester were dressed in purple gowns as they had been selected as flower girls along Jeanie’s two nieces. Unbeknownst to Jeanie, her mom looked at Anna thoughtfully and asked if she would like to be a part of the flower girl ensemble. Anna was not wearing purple. She was dressed in blue and Jaime was thrilled to walk with her as they threw peddles out of a basket.
It didn’t seem any different than
having Ester escorted by her mom.
After all, Ester was only two. Perhaps
Jaime was supposed to assist Ester? I
don’t know. It was a moment I was
grateful for as Anna and Emma both had loud smiles plastered on their
faces. That is one moment I remember
about Jeanie’s mom. There are
others. Thanksgiving dinner, eating
after Jeanie’s funeral. It isn’t as
though I had indefinite conversations with either Jeanie or he mother. It’s not like I’ve had much opportunity to
know either one.
I’d written in an earlier post that
Jeanie was the third of five children to leave this mortal existence. I don’t know about the two older sibs who
passed, but I did learn that Jeanie was psychologically messed up. Turns out her mom is as well. Oh, I am sure that it is hard to lose a
child. Many have gone through it. While some have done gracefully, others are
at a loss. She dwells on their memories
and tries hard to pass it on to their survivors but has gone about it the wrong
way.
Memories are to be shared not to be
used to control – which seems to be her issue.
She hangs onto hateful emails to share with others - that I didn’t know until this morning when my
newest daughter-in-law told me about her experience with the deranged woman.
Her husband should have her committed or perhaps her survivors who don’t live
in the same state as she. Perhaps there
is a reason they live in different states.
She doesn’t even acknowledge their kids – just the two granddaughters of
the deceased.
Just over a month ago, Clair had had
enough. She told Biff that they needed to
move and had gone to Florida to be with her family. That wasn’t working out for David and now
they are here with us. They pulled up
with their belongings which is in the shed, on our front porch, under our car
port. All storage units within a 100
mile radius are full. Winters
approaching. Their belongings will have
to be moved.
What did Biff ever do to go through so
many trials? It’s hard to see the blessings as it seems he has constantly
jumped around from frying pan to fire to stovetop to oven . . . moving in with
us must be so hard for them. Clair is a great mom. Hope Biff’s former mother-in-law doesn’t try
to follow. Sounds like they will need a
restraining order. The fairytale is
over.
