Airports and Planes

 I left Oregon on November 15^th and went to Salt Lake to assist my son and his wife with their family.  I returned on December 5^th.  In that time I had seen four different airports and airplanes.  I went by way of Alaska Airlines which I like and have had a positive experience with in the past.

 My first flight was from Eugene to Seattle.  We chose to go through Eugene rather than Medford as the price was almost 200 dollar difference.  We had made a dry run the day prior just to see if we could find it first before attempting to do so in the dark.

Check in was not so bad.  An agent took my printed paperwork and issued me a boarding pass. My carry-on bag was pulled aside as I forgot to remove my kindle.  It didn’t seem like a big deal. 

I think that was the most comfortable of all the planes – though the one from Salt Lake to Seattle was not bad as the plane was not full.  But the plane from Seattle to Salt Lake was quite full and so was the puddle jumper between Seattle and Medford. 

For the most part the leg room reminded me of the same amount of leg room which Jaime and I had on the bus four months ago.  But the seats were wider.  One could actually put the seatbelt around the lap as the seats were designed for bigger butts than that of a middle schooler.

 I believe I had a window seat from Oregon to Seattle.  I was in row 6 or 7.  I could easily view those flying first class which didn’t seem all that different from coach.  I sat waiting at a gate in B or D as that was what had been written on my passport – but those passengers were going to Bozeman and I was told I needed to take the train to N.  Say what?

There was a definite difference in first class and coach on the plane from Seattle to Salt Lake City.  I sat squashed between two gentleman.  Overhead was full and we all had carry-ons beneath our feet.  I was asked to remove my fanny pack on the puddle jumper but it didn’t seem to matter on the larger plane which I’m certain held at least 100 people.

 Jai and I had attempted to play phrazel when I was at the airport, but it was awkward.  I had an hour and a half layover in Seattle both ways.

Ryan drove around the SLC airport waiting for me to come out.  But it took me a while to get from the gate to baggage claim.  It must have been a two mile walk.  I didn’t notice the signs until after my return but they advertise the long walk is to prepare visitors to hike from 5 national parks located in Utah.  I had dragged my coat and sweater and was so hot by the time I got out to the car.

Where Can I Turn for Peace?

          We have been trying to find a dog sitter to care for Bonnie at the end of this month.  Roland has been wanting to see the boys and had planned to do so by himself but Jai (aka Jenna) has spring break coming up and so thought we could all go.  But that would only give us a week.  Perhaps it would be better for Roland to go by himself?

         Taking Bonnie for walks lately has been quite bothersome on my part.  I do not have Jenna’s strength.  She’s broken from her leash/collar four times now – the last two were very hurtful.  I sliced my middle finger on my left hand when she tore out of her collar to bark at the dogs on the corner.  And then on Valentine’s Day my right thumb got damaged when she tore loose (this time in a harness) and chased a dog into somebody’s house.  Needless to say the tenant was NOT happy – and I don’t blame her.  The middle finger has healed but my thumb is still sore.

         Roland had suggested some ward members who have two larger dogs.  I told him I didn’t think it would work.  He called them anyway.  I walked Bonnie over and was correct about Roland’s suggestion is NOT going to work.  They happen to live next door to the house where Bonnie had gone inside.  Currently they have furniture all over their lawn and it is now raining spoiling what appeared to be nice furniture.  I think there is a domestic dispute – and not just with them.  Bonnie and I walked by at least three houses with obvious problems.

         Just as we arrived at the ward member’s yard, Bonnie took a dump while a brave cat approached her, but then the cat stiffened and hissed when Bonnie was done and took off. With the fence between the member’s dog and Bonnie, they were both tearing into each other. I still had hold of Bonnie’s leash when another cat approached and jumped Bonnie. Bonnie bit the cat.  She appeared to have feathers in her mouth, but it could have been fur.  It had come from the tenants yard.

         Okay.  I wasn’t about to cross by her yard again.  We went the long way home.  Now there are two circles to our west.  The outside circle overall seems full of unkempt yards whereas the inner circle for the most part has quite attractive yards that have been tended to.  We completed the outer circle and moved to the inner circle.  Five houses before we would cross the street and head towards home, we spotted a couple walking their dog.  I quickly turned Bonnie around and retraced the inner circle and returned home the alternate way.  I was quite worn out. 

         I was upset about Bonnie who really is a sweet dog with people but does not play nice with other animals.  I was also concerned with the houses I had passed in which a woman was crying at one, unnecessary language and raised voices at two more.  My emotions were “I’d like to help but I cannot let go of Bonnie” equal to “I don’t wish to get involved” – which is sad because it certainly is not what Christ would have done. 

         The more I walked the louder I hummed “Where Can I Turn for Peace?”  I really need to memorize the words.  I don’t know why I haven’t.

When Did I Start Falling Apart?

            I remember walking with the boys and then with Jenna when we lived in Kearns.  I walked with Jenna to the bus stop and to the school from the bus stop and returned to the bus stop and walked between.  I did a lot of walking.

            Even when we lived on the rental property in Myrtle Creek Jenna and I walked nearly every day.  I go with her now when she is walking Bonnie and I have never felt so worn out.  Bonnie always sounds like I feel – exhausted and panting.  Maybe she’s not.  She’s overweight so I think the walk is stressful – especially because she always seems like she’s in a hurry.  She needs to pace herself.

            I preferred the walks in Utah and around Neal and Riverside or Millsite park.  I no longer enjoy climbing – which is what we are doing each time we “walk” because everything is hilly with more ups than downs.  

            I used to be in better shape.  Kayla and I used to go on hikes all the time.  I know she continued after she met Bill and now with her family.  I don’t get exhausted when I go out to the mailbox – or even on my return.  But I do find it more challenging to walk from the corner of our street back to our house for example.  I don’t think I snort like Bonnie does, but maybe.

            My favorite thirst quencher has ALWAYS been water.  I had worked myself up to drinking 3-5 quarts of water a day and gradually even more.  And then I got pregnant with Jenna and went through water withdrawl.

            It did not matter how quickly or slowly I drank the water – I would throw it up.  If I gulped it down or gently sipped it.  I drank because I was thirsty but I threw up a lot.  It wasn’t just the first trimester either.  IT WAS ALL NINE MONTHS!!!  Nine months of throwing up water and almost any kind of food I ate.  I could hold down dairy products and fish.  Nine months of less water which I tried to drink again, but never was able to complete my goal of more than three quarts until just lately.  I hope to get up to six.

            Jenna has always liked water too.  Even at a young age there were times that she just preferred it to anything else.  She drinks a lot of water – probably more than me.  Wish Roland would follow our example. 

Crosswalk Workout

                It was quite dark yesterday morning even between 7:00 and 7:30.  I was able to drive myself to work yesterday as my shift didn’t start until 8:30 and the elements had lightened by then.  I thought that Roland might have to drive me today as my shift started an hour earlier, and probably would have had him take me in if I hadn’t gone with him at 6:00 this morning when he dropped Jenna off at the church.  The darkest part of the commute was getting out of my neighborhood onto the main drag. 

            I had given myself 20 minutes for a 6 minute drive and so I had plenty of time.  Yesterday I was in the detention room (or in-school-suspension as it is called at that particular school) but today I had crosswalk duty which I have only done at that school one time before.

            Crossing guard duty does not seem that big of a deal as those who use the road are familiar with the crossing and will slow down or stop four lengths back even if I am just standing on the sidelines.

            I remember one time Vanna White had been given the opportunity to ask questions about others’ research about her job.  One of the questions she asked was “How Many Miles Do I walk in a given week” or something like that.  The panel did not have an answer for that one.  But I did think about her position of turning letters (back when she turned the letter and not just touch it to reveal the letter).  I don’t know how long the walk is from the first letter to the last as opposed to the crosswalk. 

            There seemed to be more traffic the first time I subbed for this particular shift than there was today.  Today had almost a ghost town feel to it – and unlike last time when the air became warmer throughout the day, today seemed to get colder.

            I cross the students three times during the day.  First thing in the morning when they walk up from the cafeteria (or bus stop) up to the school.  Second: during lunch to the cafeteria and back  Third: after school lets out and students are walking home or to the bus stop.  Students are allotted so many minutes before the bell rings or before the bus leaves.  It’s important to keep them crossing.

            The busiest part of my day is walking students back and forth during lunch.  The first time I subbed, the gym was closed and all of the students remained on the playground.  Today the gym was opened and there were more that crossed than remained on the playground.  I learned some students crossed who weren’t supposed to.  Somehow there had been some who had sneaked into the main building.  I did not get in trouble, though.  The staff is always so happy to see me.

            I am pleased with the amount of students who take the time to say “Thank you” as I walk them across.  How great those two little words can sound.  I’m grateful for their kindness. 

            Other than doing crosswalk duty, I haven’t felt very useful.  One instructor is showing a video.  The other has chrome books which are basically small laptops.  I am a foreigner to having students sign on anything electronic.  I feel as useful as a tampon dispenser in a men’s restroom.

            I will be at the school next Friday but not in the room where they are trying to sign in.  I will be back in detention or ISS.  It hasn’t been a very tough job thus far.  The first time I did it, the most “problematic” student was really quite helpful in guiding me through what was unfamiliar territory. 

            I enjoy the variety I’ve been able to experience through subbing.

The Wind Has Knocked Me in a Coma - Journal Entry

I take Highness for a walk

He’s notorious for wanting attention

after we have all gone to bed

I want to wear him out

I’m already worn out

Roland and I are on the couch

watching Shark Tank

I suggest we finish watching

in our room

He let’s the dog out just before

he comes into the bedroom

to join me

“What are you doing

letting the dog out?!”

I think.

Now one of us will have to

get back out of bed

to let him in.

I can’t remember

which one of us

received that honor.

I am asleep

I missed the end of Shark Tank

I actually don’t remember

turning on the TV

maybe Roland did

It’s 2:00 in the morning

when I can hear Highness whining

“Go lay down!” I say

Sometimes that works

Highness ignores me and continues whining. 

I let him outside.

I have two pillows in my hand.

I sit on the couch in a reclined position.

I don’t know how long I have slept

when I hear Highness bark again.

He has stayed out longer than usual

How surprising

Especially when I consider that

he’d been out for five to seven hours

while I was away less than

fourteen hours ago.
Not to mention the twenty minutes or so 
when we had gone to bed

Roland wakes at 4:10.

He sees that I’m gone

and goes back to sleep.

On couch this morning. 

It is getting cold.

I decided to turn on the heat for Roland.

I don’t hear the click when I turn the dial.

I don’t check the clock.

It could have been 5:30 or 6:00.

I should have checked.

I stir on the couch

The wind is howling. 

I pull the afghan around me.

I think the heater is broken.

I get up.

I am in a daze.

I hear noise coming from

the TV in my bedroom.

I see that the light is on.

The door opens. 

Roland is fully dressed.

He says it’s 6:30.  Oh, shoot.

He was supposed to take us

to school this morning. 

Jenna has drama club

early in the morning and

he doesn’t want her left alone

before the school opens

That is why I have to go with her.

But Roland will be late

if he takes us all the way

to the school so I tell him

to go ahead and leave

Jenna is crying

because nobody had woken her up

and she believes she’s going to be late

and she didn’t get breakfast. 

None of us did.

I throw on a wrap

and grab my windbreaker for Jenna

to wear over her hoody

(which is not all that warm)

I grab a hat from my back pack

I should have grabbed one from Jenna’s room

as well

Before we head out the door

I grab an apple and banana

Roland hits McDonalds

before he gets to work

He wanted a hot chocolate

and they told him there’d be a wait.

I think he would just leave

except he already paid.

He doesn’t drink it

until he gets to work.

It tastes awful!

McDonalds messed up his order

Roland received a coffee

instead of hot chocolate.

He finds another

to give his coffee to.

Jenna and I wait for the bus.

We wait and wait and wait.

Jenna cries

as she believes she will be late
She will be if the bus is as late as it had been
last night.

We’re not going to be late.

The bus finally comes

We arrive at the school

fifteen minutes before drama club starts

My wrap blows in the wind

I am reminded of the tail end of

the song “Spirit – Freedom”

from Red Riding Hood

though my cloak doesn’t 

wave that long

I make three bus transfers

I am home by 8:30.

I turn on the TV to watch

“Dancing with the Stars”

I missed two dances

because I was asleep.

Roland calls me and relates the

events of his morning with McDonalds

Says he’ll return for lunch

and report to the manager

It’s a short day and so I leave the house

to pick up Jenna

I am wearing my windbreaker and wrap

and hat and scarf

because the wind is loud

and howling like this morning

not as cold though

but I don’t notice until I have passed

the house next door.

I remove the wrap and scarf

and return home so that

I don’t have to carry them on the bus

Before I get to the school

I have removed my hat

I pass a house with a windmill

Funny I have never noticed before

Today the wheel is spinning hard and fast

So fast it just might come off

The bell rings just before I sit down

at the bench

Jenna is playing on the playground

but does come eventually

I ask if she would like to catch the bus

in front or behind the school

she chooses front because

she needs to run inside the school

for a few moments

We notice Marvin out on the lawn

waiting for his grandfather

When we exit the school

Marvin is still waiting

It is a short day

Perhaps grandpa has forgotten

I asked Marvin if he would like me to call his grandpa

But he doesn’t know grandpa’s number

And I don’t have my old phone

Where I have grandpa’s number stored

I ask Marvin if he would like to go to the office

to call his grandpa or maybe

we could just walk him home.

I choose to walk around the school

rather than cross the field

(though it takes longer to go around)

That way we can look for grandpa’s car

in case he is on his way.

Marvin believes the sidewalk is a better choice

and faster than crossing the field.
It's not.

I don’t know why grandpa drives around to pick him up. 

His brother Isaac always crossed the field.

I wonder if Marvin has been bullied

and maybe that is why.
Or maybe it was expected last year 
because Marvin was just in half day kindergarten 
and is just used to being picked up

As we approach grandpa’s house, I notice

that his car is gone.

Marvin thinks that grandpa has gone to the store.

I hope that is where he is and

not at the school searching for Marvin.

Jenna and I continue to the main road to catch our bus.

We get off at the corner and grab

a late lunch at Burger King

before we continue our walk

to our house

I start dinner

Roland calls to say he’ll be late

He’s not hungry anyway.

He gives Jenna a coupon for a

Free smoothie or frappe from McDonalds.

She is off school for the next two days.

Walking in Heaven

I don’t know when mom became an avid walker or how many years she and Pam Sanders had walked together practically every weekday morning.  I know that Corey was still in high school and driving because many times mom and Pam would end their walk at the high school and take the car.

            Once, as they were leaving the parking lot, a security officer from the high school pulled them over to see their ID – wondering why the car was being driven off the high school grounds during school hours.  I guess he figured out that they weren’t high school students. They laughed about the experience of being pulled over and stopped by a diner on their way home. 

            The girl behind the counter started to ring up their order.  I don’t know what they ordered, but evidently it was available at a senior price.  Neither one of them were of age at the time, but took the discount as they had been offended that they had gone from high school teenagers to senior citizens in the matter of only a few minutes.

            They didn’t always do the four miles.  Some days they would only do two.  Mom was in really great shape physically and sorely missed her walks when she had broken her bones one year and her leg was in a cast.

            I didn’t pay much attention to when mom and Pam got back into their routine or when they had stopped walking due to Pam’s ailing health – which seemed to come and go but lingered more as the years passed.

            Pam volunteered to assist with my wedding and worked in the kitchen and fixed plates for any guest who happened to the open house. 

            She and Jenna became fast friends when Jenna was two and three years old.  I remember giving her a picture of Jenna and she was thrilled. 

            As Jenna got older, Pam’s health deteriorated. I did not see much of hear or even hear much for that matter.  My own mom had her good days and bad days after she’d been diagnosed with dementia.  Pam seemed to have disappeared from her mind along with so many others she had known 40 – 50 years.  I stopped by a few times just to see how Pam was doing, but I never did see her again.  Her health had gotten worse.

            Today I heard that she had passed.  I don’t have the details.  I am hoping that I will be able to attend her funeral.  That makes how many that I’ve gone to in less than a year? 

            Corey posted a thought to facebook that perhaps the two of them are taking a walk right now.  What a nice thought.

 

Flawed Features and Pink Explosion

                  When I was very young (like in first and second grade) my cousins lived not far from Highland High School and Sugarhouse Park.  Aunt Fern and mom would often take us to Sugarhouse Park as it was so near by.  Problem was that the trees were not mature (as they were not much larger than us kids) and thus the park did not provide much (if any) in the way of shade. 

         Sugar House seemed to be an older area overall, but it seemed the park was fairly new.  I vaguely remember a playground.  My cousins and I must have spent time rolling down the hill – although I haven’t run across any photos of us at that particular park. 

         I wonder if the main objective for our moms was to take us to the park was to wear us down.  I wonder if it backfired as I am guessing that we must have worn our mothers out.  We must have run them ragged as they tried to keep an eye on us  or just keep up.  I wish I had more details about just what we did.

         Neither my cousins nor my brother made fun of my feet, but I was teased by other kids from school because of my “pigeon toes” .  Mom had taken me to the doctor and had been told that my knee bones turned in one way and either my pelvic bone or ankle bone turned another.  He could correct one or the other, but the only way he could correct both was to break my bones and reset them.  The procedure would have been a rather expensive one and I would have to learn to walk all over again.  Needless to say, I still have the same bone structure and problems.

         To help me to be less pigeon toed, mom took me to stride rite for corrective shoes.  I HATED having only three pairs to choose from.  All saddle shoes – which reminded me of bowling shoes.  I wasn’t happy with having to wear what I considered very dorky looking shoes.  On top of the dorky saddle shoes, I had to have inserts called “cookies” which would lift my foot at one side in order to straighten the problem.

         When my sister Kayla started walking, mom expressed her concern with her pigeon toes and explained my condition.  Kayla’s doctor prescribed a brace that attached to the shoes.  She would have to sleep with it during the night.  I always felt bad for her, but realized it would be better to deal with it as a baby (who’s not even going to remember)  rather than have to deal with the hurtful peer pressure at school. 

         When Jenna started walking, I noticed that her right foot turned.  I mentioned it to her doctor but her doctor dismissed it believing it was something she ‘d outgrow.  I then related my concerns that I had experienced myself and the solution we had used on Kayla.  I don’t know why I didn’t bother searching for a second opinion – probably my financial situation – or lack of it rather. 

         I guess after a while I had stopped noticing.  I had forgotten that she had once walked with her right foot turned in until just the other day.  She was wearing flip flops and though her right flip flop appeared to be moving straight ahead, her right foot hung over the left side.  I believe she has tripped over her own foot as I probably had in my youth.

         Jenna was told by her dentist that she had perfect teeth.  I don’t think I ever received the same compliment when I was her age.  I had an overbite among other problems.

I look through old photos, I have never seen a perfect mouth.  I don’t know how old I was when I had my accident on the monkey bars or exactly how it happened.  Must have let go or something.  My mouth came down hard over one of the bars.  I chipped my two front teeth.  My right tooth was chipped more noticeably than my left.  I was embarrassed by it and would smile with my mouth closed so as not to reveal my ugliness.

         My grandma Helen offered to pay for braces for my mouth.  Almost three years of humiliating pain.  Every time I would finally develop a toleration to having each tooth surrounded by medal , I would have to return to the orthodontist to have the braces tightened.

         In addition to the braces I was supposed to wear a dorky headgear – at least at night while I slept.  Oh, yes.  That was fun.

         I don’t know how much time had passed between my braces and capped teeth to porcelin repair.  My mouth does look better than it once did. Thank you mom, dad and grandma!

         When I had school picture taken, mom made me promise I would smile with my lips open – that way if my child ever needed braces I would be able to show him or her the picture to show that braces were not so bad.  Oh, right.  Each picture I had taken may send my child running and screaming.  Then again the braces today don’t seem to be so obvious as what was the only style back then.  Perhaps if Jenna did need braces she would be able to recognize that she would never look as horrible at mom did.

Mommy, Take My Picture!

She seemed fascinated

with the toilet.  I thought

she’d train early. 

She didn’t.

She took off

after she turned one. 

How cool to

move herself

with her feet, to go

from room to room. 

To explore. 

                                                      She collected balls and rocks.

Whenever we’d go

out walking she would climb

on fire hydrants and

pick up anything

she found in her path. 

She loved roly-polys. 

They resembled small balls. 

She did attempt

to put one in her mouth.

                                            She collected whatever she could carry.

She started preschool

when she was three. 

We’d walk to school. 

She would balance

on the way, walking over walls

as though she was on a tightrope. 

I would entertain her

with imitations of circus music

and emcee her “daring moves”

and I would take her picture

She dawdled

as she explored every yard

between our house and the school. 

                                                    She collected rocks and pinecones.

She loved each season

and enthusiastically greeted

anything that was new. 

The wind,

crunching leaves,

sleds,

snow banks,

blossoms,

snails

 fascinated with

every part of nature. 

                                                    She collected rocks and leaves.

Today she dawdles

much as she did when

she was three.  She explores

whatever God has created. 

She climbs trees and

snow banks and continues

to make snow angels. 

She continues to

balance on walls as she did

when she was three

and asks for me to make the sounds

of the circus as she performs

on her “tightrope” and ask

"Mommy, Will you take my picture?"

                                             She collects Pokémon cards and rocks

She will stand on top of

 rocks and stumps and ask me

to take her picture

lying on balls and

fire hydrants still exploring

as she had when

she was three

                                                        She now gives her rocks faces.