Summertime Blues

     Since I have been married 

each ward we have lived in has 

offered a small primary.  

When members go out of town 

the primary appears to be even smaller.  

The primary president had recruited Jaime as 

a sunbeam teacher for the next two weeks - 

starting the other day.  

There were five children in the primary - 

more leaders than youth.  

They combined the younger children and 

older ones for just two classes.  

Jaime was not sad to learn 

she was not needed after all.

Triggers From Stake Conference

 I remember going to youth conference and taking notes – one or two words at a time.  When I would return to the dorms I would pull out my notes and elaborate on what I remembered based on the words.  I don’t remember things as well anymore and often the words I’ve written don’t ever get made into a sentence or paragraph. 

The Roseburg Stake has always had its stake conference two weeks after General Conference. General Conference is great as each talk is recorded and I can return to read or listen, but Stake Conference is not recorded. I have gotten so much out of the virtual conferences rather than in person sitting on hard chairs in a room very far away from the podium.  Each year I have wished the recording would have been available longer than just watching it live.  This year was especially awesome.

Only last night’s adult session and the general meeting today were broadcast.  The leadership meeting had to be attended in person and wearing masks.  I had not bothered making plans for going.  Jenna had a party to go to – I thought in Tri-City but turned out to be Roseburg and so I changed into my Sunday attire and had Roland drop me off at the church after dropping Jenna off at the roller skating party.  I’m glad I went.  It was very good as well as the adult session. 

As I took notes I noticed that some of the examples used would trigger memories from my own life and thought I would share a couple.  Many had made the comment of “being like children” as they have faith and acceptance where several adults do not.  I thought of a time when my sister-in-law related a reenactment among her two oldest children and their neighbor’s boy. 

I don’t know how recent they had learned the plan of salvation (here) but decided they would use their front door (which was missing a window pane) and crawl through the hole in order to be born.  They would play outside for a while (earth life) until it was time to come inside.  

They would then cross over to death using a different door that went into the house.  I was touched by the experience that she shared.

I thought of another trigger when another sister talked about her children having shared the gospel and inviting a boy with them to achievement days (here).  They had invited him three times in a row and two times the activity had been cancelled. I recall activities being cancelled oh so many times – not with me so much as my own kids.  It can be quite discouraging.

 When I was in primary the meetings were spread out throughout the week.  Our primary was on Thursdays right after school.  Not all wards had primary on the same day.  I remember some snowy days when announcements were made over the school intercom “such and such  a ward will not be having primary today”  I think every ward had been called for cancellation except for ours – and we often had worse days of snow!  It wasn’t until I was on my mission that I appreciated the dedication of our primary president who understood the importance upon our impressionable minds. 

There are many leaders like that – who will put their whole heart and soul into their callings for those that they serve.  There are others who choose to cancel due to circumstances such as the weather, family gatherings, work . . . whatever.  It’s not my place to judge their priorities.  I just know how much I appreciate those who allow their callings to come first.  One of the things we were taught was to not allow circumstances to interfere but to keep our focus on Christ or his example. 

I have more.  I have two pages of unorganized thoughts.  Hopefully I will be able to get those organized and share some more.

Talents and Technology

  Today we watched a YouTube video that my daughter-in-law had sent a link for.  The video itself was only up for two hours but shared the primary program of one of the wards in Syracuse.  The video itself was just over 20 minutes and we were able to watch our granddaughter perform her part along with several others.

    Throughout this pandemic I have been quite grateful for the creativity and talents of others as they share parodies or bring so many together to perform in ways that they are not able to do in person such as these

 

Memories by One Voice Choir (here)

Chicago’s 25 or 6 to 4 (here)

Family Lockdown Boogie (here)

Coronavirus Rhapsody (here)

as well as many countless others.

Thank you to so many who have shared their talents and for the minds behind modern day technology which has made this all possible

Labor Day Weekend

          Roland said he wanted to take Jenna to Universal this weekend as it was/is a three-day weekend and Jenna will be returning to school on Wednesday. What?!?!??  Never mind that we don’t have the money, but the idea of being in a car for over 24 hour drive and just one day . . . no thank you.  I don’t even like going down to Medford which is less than two hours away.  I think the car is to blame for my misshaped body.  Seriously.

          A friend suggested to me that I should go to the Circles of Sand in Bandon found here.  I thought it started on Saturday, but the two days left for the summer schedule were the first two days of September which didn’t start until today.

          She also told me to go to the “Washed Ashore Gallery” found here. Because Roland was looking for a get-away, I figured Bandon was closer.  We could go to the gallery on Saturday and stay over night so that we could go to Circles in the Sand today – which we did.  So even though all the activities and events we had come to visit in Bandon were free, the food and lodging was not.  I knew that we would overspend – but not near the amount of debt had we gone to Universal (if my pretzel body would have lived that long)

          I texted the primary president to tell her that I would be out of town and would not be there for church figuring Danny had the lesson – but they like to have two instructors sit with each class.  The primary president called me back right away to tell me I would be released today (I had made the request two months ago) and that Danny would become her new secretary and that her former secretary and her husband would be called to teach the Valiants and that they would start today.

          Whether I was released today or not, I don’t know. I do know that I will now be able to attend Relief Society and finally get to know the sisters who DON’T come to the activities.  Meanwhile I have at least three posts to share about just this weekend.  I don’t know when they will get written.  I am very tired right now and would like to go to bed.

Where is Everyone?

          I can't even seem to pinpoint the month when Marva and Shelly came back into our lives - or even why. Roland would cram gospel truths down their throats and Marva really did want to learn.  Shelly was more interested in having a father-figure in her life.  Unlike her mom, she is not interested in boys.  But neither of them are in relationships.  Marva is usually quite positive but doesn't know when to give her mouth a rest.  Shelly is too needy and clingy. 

          I believe the Elders started teaching her in November.  We had set up an appointment in our home.  We were stood up twice when she was having the discussions in our home.  I don't know how many more times she was stood up after they moved her to the church.  In this case, it was Marva who had chased after the Elders rather than the other way around. She begged for them to start teaching her multiple lessons at a time. 

          I was surprised to learn that Shelly would be ready to get baptized the same day.  They had entered the waters of baptism on December 29.  Marva was so excited.  Shelly was first to go into the water and Roland baptized her without any problems.  Marva is quite heavy and was not fully immersed the first time and so Roland had to repeat the prayer before he held her under the second time.

          Unfortunately, they had managed to miss every testimony meeting since they had started attending.  I think the last time I saw Marva was for a Relief Society activity on January 22. They no longer attend meetings - which is sad to me - after all the effort that Marva had put into literally dragging the missionaries to appointments.  I don't know why she doesn't come.  I'm guessing because there have been some members who have tried to teach her self-reliance rather than trying to live on hand-outs or welfare. Like how it might be more important to buy a loaf of bread and some cheese that may last a week as opposed to blowing your entire paycheck on high-priced buffet at Seven Feathers.

          Marva has selected hearing and gets a bee in her bonnet and is so focused on that bee that she doesn't even notice the hummingbirds or the butterflies.  Has she forgotten about all the other friends that she had made?  She's not punishing us but is depriving herself and Shelly - though I don't believe Shelly was ever committed. I think her only reason for coming to Church was because Marva was making her.

          Have they forgotten how Roland had allowed Shelly to call him dad and the time that they had spent together?  I don't understand how Marva could be so focused on something that isn't even real - but an image she made-up in her head.  She's done it several times before where she focuses on one thing that she might consider offensive instead of taking time to view the picture in its entirety.

          I know it sounds terrible that I haven't missed her dropping by unannounced and overstaying her welcome.  She would speak enthusiastically as she shared what she thought was amusing information, "This is so funny.  You're going to laugh"  I rarely did.  It wasn't even her fault.  I obviously go to bed earlier than she does.

          She has decided that she doesn't want anything to do with the Church.  Wish she would have figured that out before she was baptized.  Could be that the timing isn't right.  As I mentioned in this post, Satan never wanted her in the Church.  Doesn't mean that he has won.  It apparently isn't the right time.  Whatever.

          Church was really sparse today.  5 children total.  Outnumbered by the leaders as there were seven of us.  Bro. R. was called to lead the activities for the two boys in my class.  It was announced today and he attended my class.  It was great to have him there as he contributed to my lesson with his profound knowledge.  I always appreciate that. 

          We had our first choir practice for a couple of months.  I did not sing as it seems to invite unnecessary coughing on my part.  I took roll and waited for Jenna who was in a youth meeting.  When she was done, we returned home.  

It Felt Rushed

          It is the first Sunday of the year and the year of change as we have dropped an hour.  There will now be two Sunday schools per month, two RS (YM/YW, Priesthood) per month.  Apparently all the organizations except for the primary will meet together on the 5th Sunday.  Primary is still its own separate thing.  Whereas, two hours of primary seemed way too long at times, this one hour deal is like blinking your eyes.  At least that is how it felt today.

         

          On the first Sunday last year there were 15 children the valiant class alone.  I don't know how many were in the others.  This year we have only two classes: CTRs and Valiants.  There are no Sunbeams this year, and only three Valiants.  Two instructors are definitely needed in CTRs this year - what a wide assortment of ages.  Perhaps only 20 minutes of lesson time has improved that?  I don't know.  I was with the three.  And there's one who does not attend every week, so mostly it will be just two and two.  That seems weird.  But whatever.

          We have a new chorister recently called to primary - though she had served in the presidency before.  She always has illustrations to go with each song and made a game for one today.  We learned the song and had time for only two more songs to sing after that.  I think she was over prepared - though it was fun.  It seemed that more time was needed.

          We then went to class.  Two of our children took turn being leaders and we each followed them down the hall around the primary doors and back to the classroom - which this year is one that we have never met in before.  Initially when we had gone to our room, we learned that we had been locked out and so that in itself took away time from a 20 minute lesson.

          Danny had prepared a match game after the children had guessed all the letters to "Ways to Follow Christ" - match games can go quickly or drag on.  This may have dragged at a normal level, but as we were running out of time, Danny started matching pairs with numbers the children had not picked - though I believe they still had fun.

          It's funny how different people can look at the same set of guidance and still be on two different paths.  For instance, I did not get the primary outline but had searched for it on the web but felt frustration in not finding a primary outline that seemed to work with our individual outline - which I believed was that entire point of this new program.  Danny said it confused her, too.   She said that is why she taught the lesson from the individual guide rather than the primary outline.  She did?  Wow.  Her understanding of the lesson had been so much different from my own.  The message I got from my individual and family study was on forgiveness and prayer.

          It's great that we are encouraged to share with one another our own perspectives as we do all have different ideas and are able to grow at we feed one another and stay in tune with what the Spirit needs each of us to learn - Roland said his instruction was on "Giving All that We Have"  Wow.  And all of these are valid and teach us values that we need to understand.  I'm grateful for member and family support.

No More Moving!

          Today it was announced in primary that one family has left us already and that another family will be moving Thursday.  We knew the stay for both families being in this ward was only temporary.  But when the first accepted a calling in the bishopric, I was truly excited believing that his family would be living in Oregon for a while - not just only one month more!  What's up with that!  They didn't even say good-bye - I think it was just announced: Oh, by the way.

          Two weeks ago there were 15 children in our combined class of valiants. Most of them were visitors.  The amount of all classes combined totaled almost 30.  Today we had 5 in class and 10 in sharing time - and that was with two of the children who are leaving.  Not counting the visitors from two weeks ago, our primary has decreased by a third with the two families that are/will be gone.  And there are at least three vacant positions within our ward now - nursery, primary counselor and bishopric counselor.  We will be able to combine the valiant classes again - though I think Thomas and I would enjoy the one-on-one.  I really don't wish to be called to nursery.  But I guess that would free up more time once a month to focus on the newsletters.  I also take role in choir.

          Roland says I should not accept a second calling if I don't want it - but most of the active people in this ward have several callings.  One RS counselor also conducts the ward choir, the other leads the music in Sacrament meeting.  Our primary pianist teaches Sunday School.   Primary teachers (especially nursery) are really hard to come by.  And there are only four classes (including the nursery).  But as the number of children have decreased, Danny can probably go back to teaching all the valiants without my assistance.  Guess we'll see what the near future holds for us.

Truth Among Bibical Deception

            I have the hardest time teaching the old testament to children - the story of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice Isaac or all the lies and deceit that took place and seem contradictory to the message I am supposed to convey.  Yesterday's lesson was on Jacob and the 12 tribes.  The last time our class met, the lesson was on Jacob and Esau.  We related the account of how Esau sold his birthright for a mess of pottage.  Rebecca dressed Jacob in goat skin in order to trick Isaac into giving him the blessing that was supposedly given in Esau's name

            It's been suggested that both parents played along as it had been revealed when Rebecca was pregnant with the two that each twin would bear nations but that the elder would serve the younger.  Perhaps Rebecca and Isaac had put on the charade for Esau's sake.  It's still deception.  Yesterday's lesson was on Jacob returning to Haran to take a wife because no maiden in Canaan was worthy of the Abrahamic line - and yet the family continued to return to Canaan.  I don't get it.

            Jacob labors seven years for Rachael but is tricked into marrying Leah instead of Rachael.  In my mind, Laban's deception toward Jacob doesn't seem any different than Jacob's toward Esau or Isaac.  It was still a part of the plan, right, that Jacob marry multiple wives and have many children?  The scriptures will have us believe that it was Leah who was the most fertile as she had more children than the other three put together.  But does Dinah even count?  There is no evidence of our having a tribe through her.

            In addition to lots of prayer, I used this summary and this video to assist my understanding, though I knew I'd be limited in what I could share with the children.  My absolute favorite quote in this movie is when Jacob finds Leah in his bed instead of Rachael and she says, "Have you never wanted something so badly that you were willing to deceive even those you love in order to get it?"  Duh, Jacob.  

            I know it's just speculation, much interpretaion is - how can one really look at the Bible (either old or new testament) and think it complete?  Perhaps the details aren't important, but it would certainly help me to have more of them.  In the TNT production, it shows that Laban and his family use deception for gain - not so much because it is tradition to marry off the eldest girl first, but because "Whatever Jacob touches, flourishes".  Laban did not wish to lose that and thus continued to lie to Jacob until finally Jacob and the others snuck away when Laban and his servants were unable to see.

            And what makes one a servant anyway?  A population is just born into being?  I don't relate to their customs at all.  With Laban's daughter's getting married, he gives each a gift - a handmaiden.  My gift to you is a person?  This person is going to come in handy when you learn that you won't be able to bear children after your own sister has had four and three more after that?

            My lesson that it is wrong to lie or to break a promise.  I wholeheartedly agree.  It is wrong!  It was wrong for Laban to do it and I think it was equally just as wrong for Rebecca to do it.  But it's just.  It was part of the plan.  But why is it just for her and Jacob and not Laban since Laban's deception also fulfilled a necessary part of the plan - not that I condone plural marriage either nor do I understand why Jacob was able to father with others if he wants us to believe that he was so devoted to Rachael?

            Of course I hadn't planned on mentioning any more than the lineage.  I printed two for the class to look at and ended up talking more about personal genealogy rather than Abraham and Jacob's.  Thomas and Carli listen better when their hands are busy and so I don't always know they are listening, but was actually impressed at how much each of them retained and contributed.  

            Three more lessons about Joseph and Moses after that. I am so grateful to live in a time with easy access to the scriptures and words of the prophets and paved roads and many methods of transportation and choices of footwear, written communication and photographs.  Those old testament people always seem so lost and often out of touch - and incomplete.

Health, Happiness and Approximate Conversation

          Just before we got in the car to come home from church, Jenna had asked me what was wrong.  Evidently, I was wearing an expression of sadness or despair.  Perhaps I should not use quotes as I don't fully remember the conversation, but I'm going to use quotations anyway.  This is only an approximation.

          Jenna (playfully joking):  "Are you sad because you don't have choir practice?"

          Me (sarcastically;  keep in mind that I DO NOT have a great singing voice and would rather eat than practice):  "Oh, yes.  That must be it" 

          Jenna: "What's wrong?"

          At that exact moment in time, I was dreading money spent wastefully - but I don't wish to share my thoughts with her because I know she'll feel bad, and my fourteen-year-old shouldn't be concerned over family finances the way that I am.  Not that what I shared with her was any better - in fact, it was probably worse.

          "Oh, dad and I were watching program this morning about health and happiness in the workplace.  Dad has never been happy about this job that he has currently.  I think that's why he's been sick for so long. 

          "This morning's program interviewed a man who had a job that paid good money but he was not happy.  He quit his job to become a fireman which he loves, but he isn't even making a third of what he did.  But he is happier.  We're always making sacrifices.  Dad does his job to support us.  And now he has a boss who evidently attended the school of Hitler management and feels like he is walking on eggshells all of the time.  I think that's why he's been sick for so long.  He just can't seem to shake it.

          "My health has been so much better in Oregon than it was in Salt Lake.  I have been so much happier overall.  I don't feel as much stress.  But if we have to move again so dad can get his business started, I will be the one who is sick.  Accounting doesn't make me happy.  I don't want to be part of a business.  So either he is going to be sick or I am.

          "And I just learned another great Uncle has passed away this month.  He had dementia when he passed.  Uncle Ned had dementia too.  And my grandma may have had a touch of it after she was admitted to the hospital for the last time.  She had asked dad and me to take her home, but she didn't even know who we were."

          Jenna and I were both crying.  My mom had dementia.  Perhaps it's hereditary.  I'm 15-20 years younger than mom had been when she was diagnosed, but this "goldfish memory" thing seems to be more frequent.  It's highly probable that I'll get dementia also.

          There is only one traffic light downtown and another in Tri-City.  We were at the second light when I realized what the most recent "trigger" took place.  It hadn't anything to do with our current spending or our health. 

         

          "I hate primary," I said.  I have been in the primary for over 40 years of my life and I'm tired of it.  I'm tired of practicing for the annual program.  I really don't mind teaching, but I am tired of babysitting the children who don't wish to be there or just have no concept of why they're there.

          "I'm going to be stuck in primary forever!  The only way a person can ever get released from a calling is by developing a love for it so much that he/she doesn't want to be released.  That is when they get released.  That is how it works.  I am going to be stuck in primary forever because I don't love it.  On the plus side, I will never be called to be the Relief Society president."

          Jenna laughed.

          "No, I am serious.  I can't be in the primary and Relief Society at the same time." 

          Just before we reached our driveway, I shared another reason to be sad.  I think I'm allergic to chocolate.  And I LOVE chocolate.  I love chocolate more than I hate primary.  How awful and sad to love something that may not love you back.

Just a Few Thoughts to tie Us Over until my Next Post

          There is no topic for

discussion this week. 

No assignment to turn in.  It is

the final week and all I

have to do is one assessment. 

Worked out great as Jenna

is off school this week for

spring break.  Her spring break is

twice as long as

any of her friends in Utah.

Yesterday, Jenna helped set

up for my primary class. 

Roland came in and insisted

the temperature felt nice.  Nice? 

It was too warm.  I could not

open the window and so

covered the vent with

hymn books (as they were

 all I could find) Later the

primary president

nearly praised me for

my clever act.

I went to the instructors'

class.  I don't remember ever

having laughed so much in

that class before.  It felt

nice to share that laughter with

those others who attended.

I haven't been sleeping well.  I

look like a football player with

dark marks under my eyes - though

they're not really that dark.  I guess

I look more like a ghoul. 

Roland still has his

stupid cough.  Be Gone Already!

I may take the assessment either

Wednesday or Thursday.  I

probably ought to study for

it, but first I am going to return

to my bed and take a nap.

Later.