Missing, Understanding and Appreciating Mom Even More

          I miss my mom.  I have missed her since before she passed.  

          As I start aging, there are more things that I appreciate or understand about mom that I may have taken for granted many times before.  I don’t have the exceptional hearing that my mom did, and my eyesight is no longer what it used to be.  I find that I am often blowing up the screen or font size – especially when I am trying to view two windows at once.  I will still do a spell check but am unsure if a suggested word is the one I really want to use;  I can’t see what is being suggested – not from a comfortable position anyway.

          I remember going to the pool with mom – who seemed to have worse eyesidht then than I do now.  She was literally blind without her glasses.  There wold be a clock right above the pool.  She could see the clock itself – but couldn’t determine where the hands were.  She would always ask what time it was.  I couldn’t understand why it was a problem for her.  Now I do.

          Jenna will often say things to her dad or me that we’ll ask her to repeat.  My hearing is better than Roland’s.  It used to be as great as Jenna’s.  At least I still have the ability to hear and see – just not small fonts or faint sounds.  I have lost my inability to smell and have written a few posts about that.  My mom’s smelling sense had been numbed when she was very young.  I don’t remember my mom ever being able to smell.  Every once in a while I can smell things faintly – but not often.  I still don’t know what skunk smells like, even though Roland has pointed it out.

          Mom would get frustrated with herself when she couldn’t remember the words she was searching for;  she would get even more upset if someone tried to help her out by suggesting words.  She would forget what it was that she was trying to say.  I have experienced that myself – though I don’t remember having dealt with it much this year.  Jenna has figured out that it annoys me.  Roland hasn’t though.

          The change of life.  We all grow old.  Sometimes we forget things.  Sometimes we lose our senses.  Why do so many age quickly while others don’t seem to age at all?  I don’t get it.

          I miss my mom.

I'm Allergic

                 I came home with a headache yesterday.  I still don't know for sure what caused it, though I have a better idea.  Our youngest beehive attends primary before Young Women's starts.  She had been picked to introduce and conclude the primary program.  I noticed she had been wearing make-up; perhaps she was wearing perfume as well.  That is one plus about being in primary - usually my allergies don't react as the children don't tend to wear it for the most part. I can't say for sure as I have lost the majority of my sense of smell.  I'm guessing a sweet perfume.  Those fragrances I think smell best are the ones that irritate my sinuses the most.

            The stake primary president was visiting as well.  Perhaps one of those sisters had been wearing a perfume - though they were all on the other side of the sliding wall.  But I've had a reaction to chrysanthemums from far away - I would rather not be in the same building as chrysanthemums. 

            Poinsettia and mistletoe.  Most Christmas plants, actually.  It's a wonder I'm not allergic to the tree.  Or at least not the ones my family had purchased in the past. I suppose that would be another contributor to my lack of desire to shop around the holidays.  Candles, aerosols, car fresheners.  I do okay with vanilla and fruit fragrances.  But honey, if you don't ever want me hanging around your car, may I recommend Jasmine.  That should put me in a coma for a week at least. 

Cleaning chemicals, dust, dirt, smoke, ragweed . . . I seem to do fine around plastic or silk plants.  Even several roses brought indoors seems to be too much for me.

            If it isn't the fragrance irritating my sinuses, I have many skin allergies as well.    What a Wimp!!!

Sense of Smell: or lack of it

My mother was raised in an apartment.  Both of her parents smoked.  As a result, my mother lost her sense of smell.  So it can’t be genetic.  Not that I’ve ever had the most spectacular smelling senses.  But now I don’t seem to have any.  And I actually feel blessed that I don’t. At least at the moment.

           

          I love the smell of fresh baked bread.  Gingerbread.  My husband’s cooking.  I sneeze at the very sight of a candle – although I have enjoyed many fragrances – I do have allergies.  Perfumes, plants . . . don’t even get me started. I wonder if my allergies have dulled my sense of smell over the years and have finally killed it.

          But there’s a lot of smells I don’t miss:  I understand the dog stinks.  I’ll bathe him today.  But I can’t smell him.  I can’t smell the blanket that we’ve washed more often than the dog.  I can’t smell the gross odors when I am cleaning them – and don’t know if I’ve succeeded in making them better or not.  So that’s not good.  But not having to smell bad odors is actually quite wonderful.