Beneath the Wraps

Ever since I have given up driving, I haven’t made the time to go out and see Harold – mom’s boyfriend of five months or so – though I have written to him.   I sent the last letter on the first.   He just got it yesterday. Jenna happened to be off on Friday, and I found a way on public transportation that would get us close to Alta Ridge.   But our pass expired on the 31 st and I wouldn’t be able to get a new one until Roland got paid.   Jenna suggested that we go visit him after I picked her up from school on Thursday – but I knew that unless Roland was willing to pick us up from Alta Ridge that we would never make it home before him.   He told us to wait on our visiting Harold. It was really too bad as the weather was so awesome on the 31 st .   It was snowing when we left the house yesterday.   Jenna and I both wore our snow boots, It turns out we really didn’t need them. By the time I left Jenna at her school it had stopped s...

            Near my daughter’s school is an assisted living facility – at least that’s how it is advertized.   I think it is more of a retirement home or independent living.   No memory care is provided (but there are many facilities that don’t have the memory care included). To me it appears that the residences are free to come and go.   I don’t know that for a fact.   It just appears that way.             Two months before the family assigned me the task of looking into care facilities I looked into the one close to Vantanna.   The man who showed me around was very nice and gave me a binder of all I had seen and the cost.   He encouraged me to look into other facilities but guaranteed that all would be more expensive.   And he was right.             I remember giving Core...

Many of the staff members referred to him as “the Lady Killer” which I thought was a euphemism for womanizer.   Until he started telling me of his other “love interests” who had each passed away (and now mom) I didn’t realize that “Lady Killer” was really a metaphor for “the Angel of Death” I asked him if he was.   He just laughed. He said there was one he developed an interest in before mom – but she wasn’t ready to die and chose not to go with him.   But when he found my mom he found her true beauty.   They were inseparable – until the fall . . . He knew she was dying.   And Madge knew.   The only two residents that are fully aware and haven’t seemed to slip into any kind of dementia stage.   Apparently they had both been in other facilities but felt overwhelmed and asked the family to put them somewhere smaller. Madge’s family had put her there due to her constant falling.   She knows the code.   She says all one h...

The other day I went to see my mom.   There were several senior citizens gathered around the TV ready to watch Harold’s recorded plane ride.   He had ridden on a bi-plane just a couple of years ago.   His ride was filmed from the ground.   The camera man had lost the plane for just a few minutes.   Sometimes the CD itself would freeze.   Harold told us that when the plane was out of view that is when it would be doing its loop-to-loops.   I don’t think so. He also would like to ride a glider and jump out of an airplane.   The jumping will not take place.   His doctor says he’s in good enough health – but Harold is hunched over and if he lands the wrong way it could paralyze him.   So realistically he has decided not to attempt that one.   He would still like to ride on a glider though. I learned that his last name is Mull as Desa (the activities coordinator) kept on calling him Mr. Mull – which I thought was o...

Mom did not go to Anna’s third birthday party.   She may not have known about it.   I wondered who would bring her – or if she’d be there at all.   I learned that the last time Sunny and her family had collected my mom for a Sunday dinner was probably the last time she was out. I had taken her out on Memorial Day .   I don’t think she would have come if Harold hadn’t given his approval. “Mom, you have to come.   Your brother, Bruce, will be there.” She hadn’t seen Bruce for years.   He actually looked the same to me – but in her eyes he was still 29 or 35, certainly not an old man.   She didn’t recognize him. But she was active and attentive and helped provide Corey with names to go with several photos he had found.   She enjoyed herself and we enjoyed having her there.   But that was over a month ago.   I haven’t taken her out since, and from what I understand, she doesn’t want to go. Well, that’s a far cry f...

Today I read a conversation that took place between Corey and my mom.  She's upset that the workers at the facility seem to be sticking their noses into her affairs.  She wants her privacy and doesn't want the world watching her through open windows or open doors.  Therefore she keeps the blinds closed and leaves the door to her bedroom closed because she doesn't want anybody watching her.  Those who do are perverts.  And she swears when she returns to her room to find her blinds have been open.  Evidently she used the word "damn" in almost every sentence she said to Corey this afternoon. Evidently Harold is NOT her boyfriend.  He is an old man.  Mom doesn't even call him Harold anymore.  He is that guy.  He is old enough to be her father - so she says.  I learned that he is twelve years older.  Mom is on the younger end of those who reside at assisted living.  Harold's physical health seems to be far worse than mom's ...

-->          Roland had sent me this thought that brought humor to my mind when I first read it:   Mildred calls her neighbor and says, “Please come over here and help me.   I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can’t figure out how to get it started. Her neighbor asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished? “ Mildred says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.” Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.   Mildred lets him in and shows him to the table.   He studies the pieces for a moment than looks at the box than turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”   He takes her hand and says, “Secondly, I want you to relax.   Let’s have a nice cup of coco” The he says with a deep sigh, “Let’s put all the corn flakes back in the box”   ...

Whenever the Wind Blows When I fall asleep I sleep quite hard Whenever the wind blows Slumber invites me Into worlds beyond this one When I fall asleep My eyelids become heavy My thoughts are put on hold Whenever the wind blows My husband can’t believe How quickly I drift off When I fall asleep How the trees dance And leaves often fall Whenever the wind blows There’s a calm cool breeze That surrounds me but I miss it When I fall asleep Whenever the wind blows                                                                                  ...

One of the perks that Corey liked about mom’s assisted living was the décor, which he details in this post Initially my mom’s room was located right next to the image of Elvis Presley.  A lot of the images had three dimensional props, such as his guitar, Marilyn’s skirt; there is one of Elizabeth Taylor holding flowers. I had personally not taken pictures, though I did consider that taking one with Elvis might be fun.  Roland and I could stand on either side and have it sent to his mom.  But alas, we were too late.  For the last time we were there together was for the Easter event – which was actually busy enough to produce inconvenient traffic.  So I figured we could do it the following week.  But Elvis’ guitar had been removed and a paint roller had made Elvis a thing of the past. Fortunately Bill and Kayla had taken mom up and down the halls one night and took several pictures – I don’t believe they got them all.  Maybe half of t...

I went out to see my mom at the assisted living yesterday.  The last two times I have gone, I’ve taken her out to see Aunt Trudy – who is currently in rehab and in a facility with a name similar to the place where mom is staying, but such radical difference in the two places. Granted, the facility my aunt is in is not the last place that she will ever call home. It is a rehab center.  But it reminds me of some of the assisted living facilities that Corey and I had looked into but could not afford. I don't know how this rehab bill is going to affect Aunt Trudy – for I know that it will be more pricy than the bills Corey gets for mom. The center where mom is currently seems understaffed.  And each of the staff members assists with the seating and the feeding and the meds and forms of entertainment.  They start setting up and bringing residents to the table starting at 11:00.  They don’t eat until 12:00.  There is one cook. At the center where my...

          Alice Walker is a sweet lady who likes to sort things.  She sorts buttons and shamrocks and hats and hearts and whatever other craft is offered.  She’ll talk to anyone who will ask her questions.  I don’t know how long she’s been in the assisted living program – or if she was once as resistant as my own mother.  But she seems like a very go-with-the flow person right now.  She was spotlighted last month at the assisted living center where my mom has lived for almost two months.            Mom’s personality is very different from Alice’s.  At least right now it is.  Mom seems very anti-social – though I know she’s made friends there – or at least one friend.  Someone she says is her friend.            On Wednesday she introduced me to her friend Marilyn – although when I referred to her as Marilyn tod...