It was the third week of Church for the
ward I’m in. My sister Kayla said her ward had returned
last month – or possibly
in July. She said that the members will
attend every other week in order to allow social distancing. I think that’s great that there are that many in
attendance as the last time I had gone to her ward the attendance seemed even
less than what this ward has been – a lot of empty pews and much social
distancing – even before
it was a thing.
Wearing a mask can be bothersome, but it’s not a
tremendous sacrifice on my part nor am I too proud to wear one. I appreciate surgeons and dentists wearing
masks, all the frontline workers required to wear a mask all day. Surely if they can do it for 4 – 10 hour shifts,
a few minutes to a few hours shouldn’t be a big deal for me. The mask is not the problem. It’s not being able to connect in the way
that we did pre-COVID. It’s a learning
curve, I suppose. Finding things that we
may have been unaware of or had taken for granted. I want to be to be fed but also assist in
feeding - which I do not. It feels lonely like I am observing through
plated glass and cannot break my way through.
But it
isn’t meant for me to break
through
and I’m just having
a hard time accepting it.
We did have a testimony meeting today
which was nice. I enjoy hearing from
those in the congregation –
especially as it has been almost seven months since our last testimony
meeting. Most talked about having
opportunities and finding peace within the turmoil or stopping to appreciate
what strengths were learned from the trials that we’ve had.
One sister came up to me after the
meeting. The sparkle in my eye was
obviously not there and she was concerned.
I just don’t care for the
distance that’s been
created. I had smiled a couple of times
during the meeting. Apparently it hadn’t reached or
remained in my eyes. I did pray that I
would be spiritually fed and to a degree I was but still left feeling hungry as
I had two weeks prior. As of now I think
Jenna and I will do just every other week.
I’m supposed to meet with the
missionaries which I guess is every other Wednesday prior to or right after the
Book of Mormon class. Jenna had been attending with the secretary for the Young
Women’s. But YW is now the same day as Book of
Mormon. It used to be the same day as
Relief Society but we no longer have activities and will meet once a month for
lessons. It will in mornings so our
older sisters can participate. Many
cannot see to drive in the darkness. I can’t see to drive in the dark.
I look
forward to General Conference next week and hope my heart is more open than it
has been. I have been so wrapped up in
emotions toward the direction the country has gone. I struggle with thoughts I had when I had
learned about this revelation in primary now turned into a reality that I’m really not happy to be a part of.
When Jesus spoke in parables those who had the spirit with them were able to find the message that spoke to them. The Pharisees, so set in their ways, did not recognize truth. I am overwhelmed by how many Pharisees I encounter today. I am shocked and I am saddened and have come to learn that I really don't know these people. I pray that the members may be
blessed as they prepare to vote in the elections that they will be open to
whatever direction that God may lead us and may we always rely on him.
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