A continuation of list started yesterday
13.
She's a complete technophobe.
I
don't think she did ever learn how to set the VCR14. She makes me feel needed.
Each of us was important and she let us know why and what talents we could offer that maybe someone else could not.
15. She showed me a great example of a successful marriage.
I had believed that all families were like my family - that the mom and dad loved one another and that the children enjoyed being a part of the family. I didn't realize that there were many who had squabbles or came from broken homes. When I think about it, I guess even mom came from a broken home. Her parents used to squabble. She said there really hadn't been harmony in the home until after her dad left, and that it was all somehow shaken up again when her mom remarried.
Mom had set several goals for herself - one was that there would never be a divorce. She also would do her best not to have to raise her family in an apartment. Mom and dad were a great example of a great marriage and great family life. I have often told people that I must be from a "fairytale" family as people don't believe we could love and respect one another the way that we have.
16. She was a good wife.
17 She loves to travel, and we love traveling together.
Corey relates the experience of the two of them riding the hovercraft - which is hilarious. I am actually the only one of mom's children who hasn't been to Europe.
When mom had dementia,
she believed she had traveled to places that she really hadn't. I brought a map and put it in her room. We put silver stars on places where she had
been to physically and colored stars marked all the places she had only been to
in her mind. For the most part she
had "just driven there for the
day" . Greenland had been among
those places
18 She took us on many family trips
19 She taught me not to judge people.18 She took us on many family trips
Mom always saw people for who they were on the inside. She didn't take notice of a person's race, religion or scars. She worked with a guy who had a disfigured face and she managed to overlook it. When he showed up at work one day to share the exciting news that he'd be getting a facial operation she asked him why. He was puzzled that she'd ask, but she really had learned to look beyond the deformed features that most people saw.
20. She lets me live with her still.
I suppose many parents are anxious to see their children leave the "nest" - mom was not. We could have all lived with her forever as far as she was concerned. For 39 years I believed I would. It's not that she didn't want to see us spread are wings and grow. She was encouraging about that, but still melancholy with seeing us leave - especially when it started feeling permanent.
21. She helped me gain an appreciation for current events and the news.
22. She often agrees with me politically and has some liberal views.
I thought one of us had posted to our blog about the painful experience we had with taking mom to vote for what would be her last time. She was very confused, and Corey had asked her who she wanted to vote for, and wrote down the names on a paper and asked for someone to guide her through figuring the punch card would be even more of a challenge. (We don't have that in Oregon; the entire state votes by mail. See here) It would have been easier if we had been able to do it that way that particular year.
23. She let me have a cat when I was young.
I don't recall Patrick or Kayla ever showing an interest in an animal as with did Corey and I. I think I actually had gone through more cats than did Corey. Mom had also had at least one cat when she was growing up. She said her pregnant cat had babies in her closet on top of a slip that had been left in there. The cat was quite protective of her babies and would snarl at mom, I guess. Mom was not so fond of cats after that incident. And yet she allowed over a dozen into our house over the years.
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