Happy Valentine's Day!

April Rain: author review

Recently Jenna and I checked some books out from the library.  One of these books was called Inside Out and Back Again by Thanhha Tai – a story written in a free verse and dated as would a journal or diary.  The experience of Ha (the narrator) reminds me of Thuan Huynh’s own life as recorded in April Rain – a book I received for a birthday almost seven years ago. 

At the time Thuan was working at the same office as Roland.  He autographed the book for me and I started reading it and was intrigued with his life’s journey and for the huge sacrifice that his mother had made for him and his sister and for the love he had for his family members – particularly his mom and his sister.  And for the courage that each of them endured

Though it is an easy book and can hold the reader’s interest to move quickly through the pages, I am still quite a slow reader (though I did read it quicker than most books while it was in my possession).  I shared the book with others that I knew would be able to read it faster, and so it wasn’t until Thuan and Roland were no longer working together when I came across the photo at the end of the book.

The photo shows Thuan with his wife and son.  It appears that all three are dressed in white.  I had no clue that Thuan even had a son.  For the wife in the photo is not the same wife I had been introduced to at the company barbeque.  I was later told that he had divorced the wife that I met.  And really, I don’t know the circumstances of either partner or why he is no longer with either of them. 

I believe it was rumored that Thuan had had an affair in another state.  His boss had tried to get in touch with him to close a deal – but Thuan hadn’t answered his phone.  His boss ended up doing the majority of the work and so gave Thuan only a small percentage of the sale.  I think Thuan should have been grateful – if it hadn’t been for his boss, the deal would have never gone through and no money would have been made for either one of them.  But Thuan took him to court to claim a larger percentage of the sale – and walked away with more than he himself had earned.  It put a huge damper on the relationship he had had with his boss – both professionally and personally.

Now as for the wives or the rumor of the affair, I don’t know.  I suppose I don’t really KNOW about the sale and percentage dispute either – only what I have been told by others who were involved – hearsay – but not from Thuan himself.  I don’t really know him.  Only what is written in his book.  And I still think it’s a marvelous achievement and should probably be a required reading with every youth in America.  I respect who he was and the accomplishments he has made.  But I have lost respect about some things – but as I said I don’t know the accuracy of what I was told.  And even if I were to hear from Thuan Huynh himself, I still wouldn’t know the accuracy.  I think his words in April Rain are quite truthful, but I don’t know if they are anymore.

Thuan actually does not go by the name of Thuan nor has for some time.  I started this post with his American name, but decided to change it as he is in currently in a position in which scandal could be harmful.  And because I don’t KNOW, it’s not my place to turn others against him.  Not that I’m against him.  I’m not.  He’s human.  He may have made mistakes.  He may have been in a financially tight situation in which he felt he had no alternative but to take his boss to court.  Still, I wonder if he had even bothered to involve God in his decision.

Regardless of who is now, April Rain really is an awesome autobiography that I highly recommend.  Inside Out and Back Again is also good reading.  We can learn history through the survivors.   It’s important that we learn.  It’s also important to forgive.

Clipping Coupons and Providing Family

My brother just recently shared this post on his facebook page:

When Mom was 13 her parents divorced. When she was 16 her mom remarried. Both of these events were very difficult for Mom for reasons I won't go into here.

In this entry of 1982 she says the following:

"It was also during my teens that I made some vows: 1) I would never raise my children in an apartment 2) With all my heart I would do everything to avoid a divorce 3) I would do my best to be home with my children 4) I would try not to lay guilt on my children 5) My children would be involved in family councils in which they could present their ideas."

Check, check, check, check, and check, Mom. Well done!

I remember mom clipping coupons from the back of the carton of Highland Milk.  Even on a budget, those coupons provided us opportunity for going to the zoo, amusement parks, and so forth.  Mom and dad held strong family ties and taught us values – though we didn’t know it at the time.

Shortly after my brother, Corey, was born, our monthly bills seemed to outweigh dad’s income.  Apparently he and mom discussed his taking on a second job – fearing that the long hours would become a strain to his health (not to mention that none of us would ever see much of him) mom decided that she would go back to work.  She decided she would find a job that would provide hours after my dad got home. 

Mom worked at the ice cream store longer than needed.  When a manager was needed, she volunteered as she was not thrilled with the idea of other candidates being her manager.  What started out as a necessity eventually became extra income for the family.  I believe she was there until the store closed.  

Mom took on other forms of employment after daddy died.  By then Patrick was married and out of the house.  Corey would come and go with education and employment.  She took on day hours when we were each old enough to care for ourselves.

I appreciate both dad and mom’s strength and sacrifices.  My sibs and I are truly blessed.

Name That Tune

Our theme for this month is on the plan of salvation.  I had wanted to get the class members’ input if there was a certain topic each would like to focus on.  Subject suggestions were on faith, agency and music to name a few.  I absolutely LOVE music and the concept behind the hymns and how to use the hymn book and so forth.  But as the month started, I just didn’t feel inspired to do the lesson on music.  I actually had one beam at the subject of music.

 

That was the same week of ward conference.  The musical number was beautiful – a medley of “Come Follow Me” and “Lord, I would Follow Thee” Very uplifting.  Scott got up after the musical and made comment that he hates going after the musical number.  I can’t say as I blame him.  The Spirit is often felt quite strongly through music.  When I returned home from the meeting I felt impressed to create a “Name That  Tune Hymn ”  10 to be played and guessed and 10 more with clues.  

 

When I was growing up, it seemed that our ward congregation would sing the same 40 – 60 songs over and over again and so the tunes more familiar and could easily be guessed.   But as I mentioned in this post, our ward choirister has taken us through pretty much the entire hymn book and so I don’t know who in my class is familiar with any hymns (I guess I’ll find out on Sunday)

Every once in a while the scheduled speaker for a given sacrament meeting would be unable to attend (for whatever reason) and sometimes congregation members were called on the spot. But I recall one year (when I was no longer a youth but had a calling in which I worked with the youth) I remember the bishop announcing that the assigned speakers did not show and rather than call members from the congregation and put them on the spot for testimony or to give a talk with only that two minute notice, he would try something different.  

He had made arrangements with the chorister and hoped to get participation from those in the congregation and said he would like those who felt impressed to come to the stand with their hymnbooks and share the title of our favorite hymn and why the hymn had meaning for us and then the chorister would play the hymn while the congregation sang.  These meetings were well liked by many – the youth in particular.

 

As I was preparing for my lesson, by reading through talks and blogs,  I was reminded that hymns chosen need to be approved by the bishop and I thought that perhaps my idea should be approved as well.  I sent my list of songs and included the ten clues and wondered what suggestions or changes he might add – if indeed I’d be allowed to follow through on my idea.

I just  finished reading his email.  he not only loves the idea but has encouraged me to incorporate this into my lesson every month?  Holy cow.  Now I’ll have to follow through for at least this week.  Gosh, what did I just get myself into?  Hope the youth may love it as much as my bishop seems to.

A True Story That Makes Me Laugh

 

All three or my boys were in high school at the time.  (I don’t remember if I had given birth to Jenna yet) They were 15, 16, and 17.  My husband often referred (and still does) to the 15 year old as Casper as he had a way of disappearing for every chore.

One night Biff and Tony were washing dishes when Randy went on one of his disappearing jaunts.  He had excused himself to get music – or perhaps it was already playing – his idea of music anyway.

Biff and Tony listened to Soft Jazz and oldies.  Randy listened to what kids his age would listen to – I guess.  Still listens to bizarreness with no beat really.  I don’t care for what he thinks of as music.  Apparently neither did his brothers.

As Biff and Tony (who are both older than Randy – but only by one of two years) continued to do dishes they went into discussion about how Randy was of another generation.  I started laughing.  So they tried to correct their mistake by saying, “Well, kids that are Randy’s age” which made me laugh all the more.

“You guys are all actually of the same generation and pretty close in age.”  I reminded them.  Still, they were convinced that the distance between them and Randy was the same as between them and Jenna.   She’s technically the same generation also, but there is a distance between technology and current events. 

Academically, Randy and Jenna seem the brightest.  Biff has innocence and can often recognize things that the others overlook.  Tony is currently the only one with children – well one daughter.  But long before he even thought of getting married, he was the only prepared for changing diapers.  Still is.  He’s the only one of my three boys who would change Jenna – though Biff took a stab at it, the change was unsuccessful as he couldn’t figure out how to work the diaper.

Having them believe their age is so much greater always cracks me up when I think about that night when they were doing dishes.

Utah Addresses

I think most counties in Utah use a numbering system surrounding their “main street” I don’t actually know what the focal point is in Logan or Provo for example, but I do know that Temple Square is the central point in Salt Lake city and its surrounding areas. 

Surrounding Temple Square are four streets called South Temple, West Temple, North Temple and Main Street.  Each street is numbered thereafter according to whatever direction – but starting in the three digits. 

 

 For example 1^st north is also 100 north.  I know, it’s confusing for those who don’t drive it everyday, but for those of us who live here, it is what it is. So if I grew up on 311 E 7980 S, I would be approximately 80 blocks south of the temple and a little over 3 blocks east.

My mom grew up in San Francisco but still had family in Utah.  She used to feel sorry for children in Utah having to learn a difficult address like 2530 S 500 E or 1575 W 1000 N.  It wasn’t until after she moved to Utah that she found that it was easier to find an address based upon the number.  And for the most part, it is.

Some streets have names.  Our 100 east is more commonly referred to as State Street.  I don’t know if it was ever called 100 East or if residents of Salt Lake even know it as 100 East.  There was a time in history that State Street actually went from the capitol of Salt Lake to the county seat in St. George.

 But with the freeway system and highways and new growth, State Street has been broken up into pieces and so you may still find parts of it in other counties, but I think the longest stretch is from the capitol building to Sandy or Draper.  There are parts of it in Provo, American Fork, Fountain Green and St. George for instance – but they are all relatively short in comparison.  They are all really part of the same street – it just doesn’t lead the entire distance as it had over a century ago.

I grew up on the east side of State Street.  I lived in a house marked with an odd number.  We lived on the north side of the street.  I think it’s interesting that I am now living in a house marked with an even number and I am still on the north side – but I live west of State Street and Main and I think the numbering reverses somewhere (the odds and evens are on the opposite sides)

And then there are the occasional afterthoughts – such as a clinic I was trying to find in Sandy.  I was looking for the odd number on the opposite side of the street as my brother and sister-in-law live as they are at an even number – but it turned out it was on the same side.  Maybe that’s where the odd and even numbers change hands.

It’s important to have the right directions assigned to house and street.  If you are looking for 310 W 7930 S and you mix it up and up in 310 S 7930 W, you are looking in the wrong place!  You are way off. 

 

And then there’s a friend of the family whose house number was something like 1831 and yet his neighbors to either side were something like 1927 and 1943.  I often wondered how in the world they were able to get their mail.  So there are definite flaws. But except for those occasional rarities, I rather like using our numbering system.  I prefer the GPS of course – but I don’t remember that existing before this century. 

Remembering Mom

         It was in January of 2012 that my sibs and I worked together with my niece and her husband to put ourselves on a schedule so that someone would always be at home with my mom – which unfortunately did not always work out.

         We would keep in touch by phone and sending the same email to our group so that we could all kind of keep track of what was going on.  It wasn’t until November when Nate decided to create a group page on facebook.  He gave it the name “Operation Grandma Care”.  We started out with Six members and gradually we became Nine.

         The site was up for less than three months before we had moved my mom into assisted living. I don’t know when Nate removed himself from the group but it couldn’t have been more than eight months after he’d created the site.  Nevertheless the seven of us that remained continued to keep tabs on one another, supply information and make inquiries. 

         Pictures we posted and Sunny even posted a video which shows my mom singing three songs. What a treasure that is!  I am so grateful to Nate for having created the site for us.

         After my mom passed away less than five months ago, we decided we would keep the site but we changed the name.  Well, Kayla did.  Operation was dropped and an S was added to make “Grandma Cares”  It’s funny that the site contains only one grandchild. 

        

         We kept it in order to share stories and photos and memories of mom but also of dad and our family.  Corey will periodically post discoveries he has made while going through her journals. Yesterday I posted one of Jenna’s favorite stories that only Patrick and I had experienced.  (Fortunately for Corey and Kayla they both missed out)

         True story: In searching for creative ways to economize, Salt Lake Tribune had a featured area of suggestions and recipes.  My mom tried one called “Peanut Butter Casserole”  the very idea of putting tomatoes, onions and peanut butter together would make my nose turn – but now that I’ve tasted it, I can honestly say the idea makes me puke.

         Mom decided to go heavy on the peanut butter – which I have no way of knowing weather it improved or hindered the taste.  My brother Patrick thought it was the grossest thing ever.  He had had only one bite and figured out what the ingredients were and pulled away from the table as though he had been bitten. 

         I remember finding the recipe that mom had so carefully cut out of the paper.  I tore it to bits and distributed only a few pieces into each trash can we had in the house.  Mom wasn’t good at puzzles.  She would never be able to put it back together if she wanted to.  But she too, admitted it was bad.

         I didn’t realize until my neighbor commented on my post that she too had tortured her family with the yucky excuse for a meal.  She, too, can testify to its awfulness.  Now we can all laugh at the experience.

         Thanks again, Nate, for creating the site for us.  We do have another site with all of our children to inform them of events taking place currently.  But it’s fun to have a “Grandma Cares” site for memories