Liberty Mutual NEEDS to STOP Calling My Mom

          Mom has been tested for Alzheimer’s at least twice.  We’ve been told that she doesn’t have it. But she does have some form of dementia.  A distorted memory loss.  Some days she’s been there, others she has not.  For the most part it seems she’s been elsewhere – first on exotic vacations and then sharing her childhood and teenage years in San Francisco.   She just didn’t seem to be anywhere today. 

          She was just finishing the dishes when she let me inside.  I greeted her and asked if she had taken her blood.  She had to process the information as she always does when I ask the question.  She said she hadn’t.  I then asked her if she’d eaten breakfast.  She said she had.  And so I told her that we’d have to wait in order to get a proper reading.  She looked at me with childish eyes and confessed that she had forgotten how. 

          She said that she needed to go to the store.  She said that she wanted to purchase some cough drops – a large bag of them.  I took her to Sam’s Club as they sell items in bulk and would have more cough drops offered in their packaging than the regular stores.

          The mail usually doesn’t come until I’m just about to leave – or when I’m pulling out of the driveway.  But today it was early.  Very early.  I guess because of having had off Veteran’s Day yesterday?  What a boatload of mail, too.

          Mom dismissed herself to go to the bathroom, and I hurriedly fingered through the mail and pulled out mail from various charities and Capitol One and set them aside to go through later to make certain it really was all junk.  It was. 

          Corey received five pieces of mail.  I’m certain that two of those could have been trashed as well.  But mom insisted he needed it all and we ended up going to the post office as she’d put it all in a large manila envelope.  Note to self:  make up labels to give to mom so that she can just forward Corey’s mail without having to pay for it.  Even after I show her, she could still forget why she has all these labels with Corey’s name and address.

          We drove passed the school that my sibs and I had all attended.  Mom says, “There is the school that I went to . . . that’s probably the same one that you went to.”

          “Yes.  I went to that school.”  She didn’t.  Not as a student anyway.  It wasn’t even built until 35 years after she was born.

         We were going through Taboo cards trying to get each other to guess the words on our cards.  I explained how to play it a few times. Each time she would answer the phone  I would have to re-explain.  

         One of the calls that she received was from Liberty Mutual.  According to her, they call on a weekly basis.  It is never a human being.  It is always a machine asking to press this number or that number.  Why doesn't she just hang up on them?  What is Liberty Mutual thinking to have a machine call their clients?  How many of those clients are capable of pushing the correct numbered button? 

         Mom showed me her supply that came from Liberty Mutual.  She's set for a while.  They don't need to call every day or every week or every month.  She's good.  Seriously.  She isn't in the right frame of mind or patience to be pushing buttons.

          We finished the puzzle book that she and Kayla had started.  And so we left the house again to purchase some puzzle book replacements. They seem to be helping.

          We had started the third puzzle when I excused myself to return home.  She seemed disappointed.  But expressed gratitude for having had come. I needed that.

          I want my mom back.

That Jacket’s been around for quite some time

          Roland tried his hand at working for U-Haul probably about twelve years ago or so.  He ordered his U-Haul coat and worked for two weeks.  The job didn’t challenge him in any way and he just didn’t want to stay mainly because he felt bored.  He saw no advancement.  But he had paid for his coat, and so he kept it.

          It’s been a great coat.  I think all of us have worn it at one time or another.  It’s got the feel of a jacket, but is warm like a coat.

          But after many years, Roland decided to invest in a more stylish coat.  He got it on sale one year between four and six in the morning on a black Friday.  And it is a nice coat.  Warmer than his U-Haul.  It’s a heavy hyde-skin looking coat. I call it his Indian coat or trapper coat.  He still wears his UHaul for the most part as he  can’t seem to move in the other as freely.  And so he keeps them both.

         Currently the coat resides in Biff's closet.  I don't know why.  I haven't ever seen him wear it since before we moved.  Maybe he doesn't know it's in his closet. I bet Roland doesn't know.

Old Newspaper Clippings and Other Saved Items

          Mom kept boxes filled with treasures from each of her children.  Treasures.  That’s really a matter of opinion.  I find it amazing that the pages of my baby book are still intact and of great quality paper compared to many I have filled on my own.  But I still scanned the pages – saving a bit for Jenna but still discarding a lot.

School work done on ditto paper.  Remember those?  Before Xerox and other photo copiers.  Purple carbon paper and ink

  

All daily assignments and homework in purple outline – never black

I kept some of my drawings out for Jenna to look at.  The majority I’ve thrown away.  And I’m proud to say that she has also. 

I had made a calendar for my Uncle and his family who were living in Denver at the time.  I don’t believe my mom ever mailed it as it was in my box – but as I pulled it apart, I completely understand why my mom would not have wanted to bother.

How pathetic.

I also found a piece of newspaper dated June 1969.  I went through the page three times, but could not find any significance or reasoning to why the page had been saved.

Lots of advertisement and laughable styles and prices in today’s eye:

      

I do remember birth announcements and weddings – but engagements?  That’s bizarre.  Perhaps mom knew one of these women?  She may have then – but I’m certain she has no clue at present.

I have noticed that my scanner has made the newspaper look more aged than the actual paper.

I was serving in Roanoke during the flood of November 1985.  It’s still quite surreal to me that I was there and saw the damage but not the flood itself as my comp and I were ordered to stay put in our apartment in a house upon a hill

A lot of things can be found on the Internet now.  I don’t have to save the map of Lake Ridge Mall as it is on the Internet.  I don’t have to save brochures that tell me about old and new Cape Henry.  They can be found online.

Not all my faded pictures of Mabry Mill and Philpot can be found – as my comps and I were in several of them.  But they are so distorted – I don’t think they are worth the repair. But the scenery itself can be found online – though I did have to scan this one.  I took it because it made me laugh – and now it can make others laugh as well

I’ve actually gone through everything that I had left with mom three years ago.  But there is more in the shed.  A lot more.  I think it grew. It’s probably growing right now. It’s overflowing – like a vine.  I’m almost afraid to tackle.

I must have saved every thought, every hand out in Relief Society and Young Women’s.  I saved ticket stubs and wedding napkins and announcements – photos of people I no longer remember.

One of the hardest memories to look at was a wedding announcement of a friend close to me like a brother and his wife.  So happy.  So young.  So in love.  That’s how it reads in the photo anyway.

The caption under the photo reads “Today, Tomorrow and Always” - always what? Living a hell maybe, because the love died a long time ago from what I understand.  Today, Tomorrow and Always?  That is what I thought of all my memorabilia.  Fortunately “always” will be a myth in the scrap saving department for me.

So I have divorced much of my memorabilia.  Not quite as upsetting as the many marriages that have fallen apart. It is their children who suffer the most, I think.  Although in this case it’s been an equally great hardship on them all.  Perhaps the youngest and then my friend and his wife who may never get better – one cannot be cured if always in denial.

I’ve thrown away tons of cards.  Some I kept for the pictures.  Some because they don’t seem to make those old-fashion kind of cards anymore.  But I just don’t have the room.  No sense in scanning those.  Most of the pictures that I’ve shared have been “borrowed” from the Internet – and I’m certain I will continue to borrow more.  I don’t need to scan pictures that I can find on the Internet.  I want the personal ones – not the generic card pictures that are nice – but really. I don’t need to hang onto them.  I really don’t.

I’m grateful that I am able to let go and that modern technology has allowed me to compact those things that I would like to save.  Thank you to all of those who have assisted with the many programs and drives available to all of us.

Aunt Gertrude’s Dolls and . . . Jenna’s Rocks

          Kayla and I took the kids for a visit to Aunt Trudy’s house.  She had two dolls that reminded her of Kayla – and she wanted her to have them.

          Aunt Trudy is a collector of dolls.  She has TONS of them.  There are two display cases which house a lot of dolls.  The larger one holds her story book collection and the smaller one contains the dolls which represent various countries.  There are also dolls displayed on the dresser, her bed, and other shelved areas.  I shouldn’t have been surprised about several others that she had downstairs – but I was.  20 – 40 more boxes full of Madam Alexander dolls.  It is mind boggling really.

          Every girl in the family (including Roland’s oldest two – amazingly) has been in the “doll” room and has coveted various dolls and a few have even made dibs about which ones they would like to inherit.  I’m at the point now where I just don’t care.  If I don’t get any of the dolls, it will be okay.  I don’t have room for the things I want.  It seems wasteful that the few dolls I do have (or ones that have been sent to Jenna) are tucked away in boxes in the shed. 

          Aunt Trudy rarely ever lets guests leave her house empty handed – especially the children.  She has always given us shirts, stuffed animals, knick knacks, and of course dolls. 

          One year she asked if Jenna would like a doll.  I said I didn’t think so.  She was still young and curious and was entertaining herself with examining polished rocks from a bowl that Aunt Trudy kept on the coffee table. 

          “I think I have some more of those rocks in my garage,” Aunt Trudy said. “Would she like to have those?”

          “Oh, I believe she would love them more than any other has ever loved any doll that you have given to anybody”

          And she did.  Never has Aunt Trudy received such enthusiasm or appreciation for any doll than the amount Jenna expressed for those rocks.  She would entertain herself for hours each day as she would sort the rocks by color, by size, by shape and by favorites.  Five or six years later (I don’t know how old she was when she received them – but it was before pre-school I think) she still has most of them.  And she loves them. 

          Jenna has ALWAYS liked balls.  I think she was born LOVING them.  And she has always thought of rocks as “Nature’s balls” – or anything which is round.  She discovered a curled up potato bug when she was one.  That was pretty cool.  She was barely starting to talk when she decided to chase the moon as she held out her arms and called it a “ball”  She’s still never been much into dolls though – especially dolls designed for display only.  How boring.

          Kayla accepted the dolls and took them out to her car.  I don’t know if she will put them on display or not.  Unlike me, she actually does have casing for them – but like me, she finds them impractical.  They are “fun” to look at – but the novelty is short lived.  They become dust collectors for a lot longer than the “fun” lasts. And those two – though the looks themselves really do resemble Kayla, Anna and Garrett – are porcelain.  If I’m to collect dolls, I would rather they weren’t porcelain.

          Bless Aunt Gertrude and Jenna for their love and enthusiasm for treasures and for the desire they both have in sharing their joy.

I was Hoping to make a Liar of Myself - SERIOUSLY

          On November 1 I created a post called Unwelcome November – because the first was typical of a November Day – windy, gloomy – no snow however.

          Yesterday I created a post about the week of glorious days that fell between that post and this one.  Even though it was windy yesterday, the sun still shown.  I unrolled my car windows.  I opened the windows in the house.  Yesterday was not all bad.  It must have started this morning.  Very EARLY this morning.

          A wet rain.  Wind.  I think I heard it hailing.  It sounded nasty.  When the noise stopped, the snow started lightly falling.  It’s still not a heavy fall.  However it hasn’t stopped ALL day.  The snow is going to bury the roads.  That doesn’t excite me.

          And I read a post on facebook from one who is grateful for the snow.  I should be grateful.  I am grateful for snowplows and neighbors who have cleared my sidewalk along with their own.  How awesome is that? 

Well, it was Awesome While it Lasted

    Another post in

           poetry form.

The first day of

November seemed

 typical of

November.

The wind blew the

way it always has

when it’s bringing

in snow.

But it didn’t bring snow.

The next six days which

followed were

gorgeous - fall

weather, motor cycle

weather, jogging

weather, strolling

weather. Making

people happy.  It

was great!

Now the wind is

back and louder than

before. The

weather man says it

will be bringing in

snow this time.

Can’t complain. 

It’s been an

Indian Summer. 

Gorgeous.  Cold in

the morning.  Sun

beating from the

afternoon sky.

It snowed one

day in October.  It

didn’t stick though.  It

was wet and cold.

But for the

most part the

weather was

awesome!

Awesome in

September, 

awesome in

October, the first

week of November.

Wish it could have

 lasted Forever.  That

would have been

the greatest!

I’ve Been Forced to say Good-bye

          Saying good-bye is not always a bad thing.  Especially when it only invites clutter and chaos. In 1985 I was on my mission.  It was my second Christmas in the mission field and my family decided to send me a tape and king size card with greetings from various friends and neighbors from my home ward. 

          A 22X25 poster paper was purchased and folded in half.  My family decorated the front with pictures which represented my personality – a picture of Baloo and Mowgli from Jungle Book (I love Disney’s animated version of that show) Ziggy, a picture of ceramic nativity set, trees and flower in bloom, dance shoes, real mountains (Utah mountains,   not the hills of Virginia where I served) the Salt Lake Temple, dolls, golden plates, scripture  paintings  , and musical icons. 

          In addition to all the magazine cut-outs were two actual photographs.  One was of me with my missionary name tag and the other was a recent family gathering that I would guess Corey had taken (as he was not in it) which included my dad’s mother, brother, sister and their families – or parts of them anyway (my uncle’s oldest two are also missing from the photo)

My 11X14 card contained signatures from so many – it was an honor that my family had gone around with the tape recorder to so many of my ward family.  I think they must have gotten all of them with one devise or the other.  Some would sign my card from self and spouse – and then I would find spouses signature elsewhere on the card.  Some would just sign names without a greeting.  Most were just typical Christmas greetings – but there were some that added personal comments.  Surprisingly, I still remember everybody who had signed the card.

Corey had placed on the back:  “When you care enough to send something better than a Hallmark” and “the Best Homemade Card Company around” – it still makes me smile – and really, it doesn’t take up that much room.  But it’s been bent, torn in places, and some of the pictures have faded.  I don’t really NEED it.  Time to say good-bye.

I don’t know where the tape is.  I have several shoe boxes full of cassette tapes.  Most I will end up throwing away – or use them for recording things I would like right now. I think most tapes contain something that I want – but certainly not all of it.

I remember a couple of people singing Christmas songs on the tape that my family had sent along with the enormous card. One visitor said that she wasn’t aware that I was even on a mission.  It was nice to hear so many voices that had been familiar to me. My family obviously put a lot of thought into my gift and thus I cherished it.  Still do – just not in a tangible way.