It has rained
the
last two mornings.
Sweet Beautiful Rain.
It has pounded over the skylight
and has woken me up.
I don't mind.
It's such a pleasant sound to my ears.
The rain has cleaned the air and
swallowed up
the hills –
but in a
positive way –
unlike the
smoke.
I enjoy looking at the clouds.
The elements are awesome
Roland took a warehouse job with GREAT benefits – less than ten minutes away – but graveyards. He had done that kind of work before. He was doing that when I met him – graveyards. His body was younger and in better shape 20 years ago. Just three days in seemed to take a toll on him and he quit. Dang.
He is now training for a sales job
at a jewelry store. Jewelry. Sales.
Blech! I was much more excited
about the warehouse. NOT excited about
sales or jewelry. But it’s his comfort
zone. To sell. He seems excited about it I guess.
He has felt the need for new
clothes. He has also wanted to purchase
clothes for Jenna – who does enjoy shopping at the dollar store, discount
stores and even second hand store. But
not for clothes. A teenage girl who
hates to go shopping.
Roland has taken Jenna by himself a
few times, but neither one of them are good at finding items in her size. That is probably what we hate most about
shopping – finding cute things in smaller sizes but a limited choice in our
own. Three ugly dresses, shirts, pants
or what have you. This time Roland
dragged me into it. What we couldn’t
find in the Big City of Roseburg we would surely find at the MALL in Medford.
After seven years of being away from
the mall Jenna was quite thrilled with being there – especially to ride
escalators. What a dream, right? The stores in Roseburg had not been crowded –
especially the dressing rooms. I was a
bit put off that there was the option of trying on clothes when none was
offered a year and a half ago when the pandemic had started in the U.S. and the
cases were not as high in the state then as they are currently.
But then again we are a red
county. Citizens who vote republican and
abuse their “freedoms” without understanding why we even have said
freedoms. I’ve seen more people wearing
masks than not. Thankfullly there are
still some businesses who enforced the mask rules and at least one store had
closed its dressing rooms.
I remember when the pandemic first happened and there was that stay-at-home order and several businesses closed and the ones that remained open seemed to have a non-verbal “no touch” policy. “If you touch the item, you buy the item – we cannot return it to the shelf”
Carts were wiped down for a
time. I don’t know that anyone does that
anymore. Even though we are required to
wear masks the social distancing definitely not enforced. I felt like I was being swallowed by the
disease.
I have been coughing though I don’t
believe it’s a COVID cough – although after today I suppose that could be the
case. However it didn’t start out that way.
The smoke comes and goes. There were two days of sunshine and blue
skies and yesterday I retrieved Bonnie’s leash and had opened the front door
and saw the smoke descending over the hills and went back for my mask – not that
it added great protection from the smoke but would help my breathing just a
bit.
I ended up not taking Bonnie out
until later in the day when the hills reappeared and the sky was no longer murky.
That was weird. But it did leave a
cough. But there are a number of people
who have COVID and I could have easily come in contact – especially today. But neither Jenna or Roland are coughing and
they venture out way more often than I do.
I should have several days of posts
as I have had time to write. The drive just
hasn’t been there. Even now. But somehow I feel obligated to post
something. I need to come up with
something profound and inspiring. Still
working on it.
One of the pigs got out of his/her yard and into ours. Isn't the first time. Could even be the same pig as last year. I don't know. It sounds as though they have been more trouble than what they're worth. Neither one of these guys were particularly happy as it cost two hours of time they could have spent elsewhere.
When you view these (some not great quality due to a dirty window) pay attention to the pigs in the background. They seem intrigued.
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| not the most durable climbing shoes in my opinion |
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| appears to be a standoff LOL |
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| the details don't stand out so great in this photo but the pig in the background does |
Every essay needs a thesis statement, at least three body paragraphs and a concluding paragraph. Jenna is now taking an English based on writing letters to solicit scholarship funds. Her first theme currently is “Beat the Odds Scholarship”. I looked over her first rough draft and we changed some of it. It’s still not perfect but we knew that going in.
One of the suggestions that her
instructor has was that she should focus on overcoming disabilities or
hardships that affected her life. Jenna’s
only comment was the pandemic which is definitely NOT a personal struggle. It is still a struggle nonetheless – and the
only one that either of us can think of.
The fact that Roland and I are college
graduates has already kept Jenna from the summer program that at least one of
her friends had gone to this year. Our
family way of life offers many benefits over that of most of her friends. Many come from broken homes. Some have ambitions and some do not. Each student is struggling in ways that Jenna
often doesn’t or just can’t relate to.
Jenna has ALWAYS enjoyed
learning. She has ALWAYS looked forward
to school. Her greatest years thus far
(I kid you not) were the years spent in middle school (I haven’t known many who
have relished the “junior high” years – but she truly did). Jenna is her own person and is not swayed by
others.
The global pandemic is not a personal
problem but is definitely an issue that has somewhat deflated her soul. She tries so hard to remain positive but
seems to be walking on broken shells on an unfriendly beach trying hard to get
to the water but hasn’t reached it yet.
She said she is going to start recording the days that she doesn’t cry
about some sort of frustration. She’s
been in school only three days and I’m certain that things will pick up. Currently she is in her bare feet standing on
the sand.
Because she was taken out of school she
was also taken out of the system – meaning any logins or passwords she used as
a sophomore are null and void as a senior.
She has to start over. Because
one of the staff encountered COVID, all others had to quarantine – which put
them behind.
Jenna has a physical copy of her
schedule, but it is not in the system to check.
It has been frustrating. But
perhaps it’s the booster that Roland thinks she needs to leave high school
behind and enter into the real world.
When we moved into this community Jenna
and I became a part of it. We were eager
to assist one another. It was a great
place to be. Now everybody is so torn up
about the economy and making everything so political that there are civil wars
taking place all over the nation. I don’t
know what states and/or cities are the safest to be in right now. Roland and I each want Jenna to succeed in
whatever she does. Question is where? And what can we afford?
Roland just accepted a position as a
salesman at a jewelry store. Not a job I
was anxious about and still not comfortable with – although it won’t wear him
out as did the warehouse position that he had attempted for three days but his
body is not in the greatest shape to continue.
And he loves sales and is good at it.
He’s currently learning his lines and
I am trying to bite my tongue though I’m doing a really lousy job at using the
word “snake” to describe the average salesman.
His “acting role” is putting me out even further. If he is successful at this job and can
provide an education for Jenna, great.
But my fear is he will make too much in order for her to qualify for
benefits – “rumor has it that he sells engagement rings and therefore is
wealthy enough to provide for his little girl”.
Having a representative working at a jewelry
store does not a Rockefeller make. Jenna
may not appreciate that we have been financially struggling since before she
was born. We moved because of lack of finances. She had received reduced lunch and was on the
receiving end of the school charity drives.
At the time she did not see it as a setback but truly did appreciate
wearing new shoes that she was given at school or whatever it was. She and her friends will joke about it now,
calling it the drive for the poor kids, which doesn’t sound nice but seems
easier to accept when you realize that you are or have been one of them.
We don’t have riches but are definitely
not struggling anymore – even though Roland was let go from the online position
as the school closed. He’s really not
ready to retire as he seems to have the drive to do something. Jenna has been involved with volunteer work
and earned money picking blueberries for three summers. Her passion is now in the theatre arts. She believes everyone needs to be entertained
– especially during this time of uncertainty.
She does entertain.
I don’t like to see my baby struggle but
I realize just as this pandemic has been a growing time for me it will be
her. She just might not see that now.
Yesterday marked the 20th year of my marriage with Roland. You think a couple might want to spend their 20th anniversary with some kind of milestone celebration. But both of us managed to forget – and yet I had just mentioned it to Jenna the day prior. And thus our anniversary was celebrated in the same manner that many birthdays and anniversaries have gone during the pandemic. We labored.
We moved the freezer into the back
room. We emptied the water barrel moved that as well. Refilled with water. We unstocked and
took apart shelves in the office and put a couple up in the backroom and one in
the laundry hall and restocked them. We
finally did take a break between 10:30 and 11:00 to grab some food. I had hoped for breakfast and NOT Mexican,
but we ended up at a local Mexican that we had never tried. The food was good
but the prices were a bit steep, I thought.
We came home and continued with
moving items and rested more. We did set
up the table in the back room and had moved a few chairs in this morning. The shelves are stocked with games. It looks much nicer. I had gone to check facebook and was reminded
that of my anniversary and “celebrations” in years past:
Speaking of 20th – my sister,
Kayla, and husband, Bill, have their wedding anniversary coming up on – you guessed
it, the 20th of this month. I was hoping that one year we would/will be able to
do a cruise in September to celebrate both of our anniversaries. Disneyland would work as well as it will be
dressed up for Halloween later on this month – or at least had done it
mid-September in the past. I don’t know
how much COVID may have changed that.
Until this pandemic ends I do not wish to travel – even just to the Big
City of Roseburg.
20 years.
From the beginning of the pandemic, the horrific pictures in the media, the stay-at-home and lock down orders, mask mandates, verbal battles, etc. has been a reminder to some cheesy sci-fi that gets played on the Comet station. Only we are really living it – though some are still in denial about it doesn’t change that it is and has been part of our lives for one to two years.
Jenna is currently in the high school library with a bunch of other students who have not yet received their schedules. At least she’s not alone. She has always been enthusiastic and fired to return to school – even last year when I wouldn’t let her. This year is worse than last year was – more deaths, more cases. That is why she doesn’t have a schedule and is in the library waiting.
We had recently discussed how each generation has had its challenges. She wishes she could experience the childhood that I did – back in the day before school shootings were all too common. Back in a day when there were definite roles between men and women. A day without internet. People somehow seemed more humane and kindness mattered in the business world – at least if you were white. I think there may be a large number of non-whites who would describe my childhood days with a different description.
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| photo credit source here |
I have been on my knees pleading with
the Lord that Jenna may make it through her senior year with the same attitude
she has always had prior to COVID. If
she does happen to wear a smile no one will be able to see it unless there’s a
twinkle in her eyes – which comes and goes.
I suspect it has in all of us.
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| photo credit source here |
Jenna starts school tomorrow and had
hoped to have less hair to deal with. I
had set up an appointment for each of us to get our hair thinned out – though I
wondered if it we better just to recreate the pandemic hair from last year.
Because we were already out and
Jenna hadn’t gotten the schedule that would supposedly be sent out by August 27
(that was the original plan anyway. Tomorrow is the first day of school and no
schedule has been identified. I told Jenna we could swing by the high school to
see if we could figure out the source of the problem.
Walking to the school from the street made for
an interesting challenge all by itself.
This is a view of the high school parking lot:
I seriously have my doubts about this being finished tonight
and ready for the students who drive to school tomorrow.
The smoke continues to envelop our community. The stars have not been visible the last couple of nights. The hills appear to have been swallowed. This road which runs alongside the high school seems to be a drop off into the unknown.
