In June 2009 we celebrated my mom's 70th
birthday. Sunny had made arrangements to invite friends and family
members to a "surprise" birthday party for my mom. I don't recall how
many came, but there was a lot. Many from the ward, a few from work, and
family members - Bill and Kayla had taken several pictures. I would guess
there were 50 - 70 people in all.
Corey gave a tribute and several sat in folded chairs that
Sunny must have borrowed from the Church. Mom was definitely surprised
and she looked so happy. She had already been diagnosed with dementia,
but it was just the early stages. She was well aware of what was going
on. And she knew everybody there.
Last November - before we put mom into assisted living - she
was overwhelmed by the tremendous amount of people at our Thanksgiving dinner -
all 18 of us. So I thought she'd really freak when we took her to the
ward Christmas dinner one month later because there were over 200 at that
one. But she smiled and pleasantly greeted everyone. She was
happy. She was a little lost in her mind. And the following month
we put her into assisted living where she spent the next four months trying to
escape.
She was definitely happy last night. Sunny and her family
had dropped by the assisted living to bring mom to the annual "Christmas
in July" (which came late this year) and she was happy. Happy to see
relatives she hadn't seen "forever" or "it's been a long
time" - Sunny told me that she said it had been years since she had seen
me - and Sunny knows for a fact that I was there just the day prior.
Garrett received a new hair cut - causing him appear to be a
tad bit older. Mom kept commentting on what a cute little boy he
is. She also kept on asking who he was and who he belonged to.
"That's your grandson. That's Kayla's little
boy."
She remembers Anna. But she doesn't often remember who
Gary is. Her dementia had taken over when he was born. She was
still living at home and had planned to walk to the hospital to see him and
Kayla. Walking to the hospital from my mom's house is possible, but not a
casual walk. It's a good two miles at least. I tried to remind her
of that.
"The hospital is not that far from my house and I can
walk there if I want to!"
She was in her independent stage. A stage in which she
believed her grown up children were treating her like a child. A stage
when she would wander off and actually walk that distance
unintentionally. A stage that kept all of us on our toes trying hard to
watch her but allow her to believe that she still had her independance.
Sunny's last experience with taking her out of assisted
living was an unpleasant one. She said my mom was so distorted and
unfamiliar with her surroundings and didn't know how she'd gotten to Sunny's
house or why and wanted to go "home' - referring to the assisted
living. She has accepted it as home. That's where she lives and has
for about 8 years (in her mind; seems like every month for the rest of us has
been a year for her)
She excitedly told my aunt Fern about Harold - who when she
first felt an attraction towards him had told Corey that Harold was a very old
man - old enough to be her father. She told Aunt Fern that she and Harold
are actually very close in age. She believes he is five years
older. (There is a ten year difference in actuality)
It was so wonderful to see mom genuinely happy - even if she
doesn't remember that Garrett is her grandson - not to mention several
relatives who we actually don't see except maybe twice a year - if that.
She had a great time. I don't know how much of it will stay with
her. I wonder what she will tell Corey about last night's events.
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Happy Memories
-->
One friend managed to drink
it all. I believe Patrick said he had
swallowed down half of his. But Mark
could not get past the first taste.
After having gagged down the first swallow, he refused to drink any more
of his two cent purchase. The entire bill came to six cents. They left a fifty cent tip.
*******************************************************************
Jenna loved fire hats and fire engines and fire fighter equipment. I really thought that she would want to grow up to be a fire fighter. But when asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" she had it narrowed down to two: either a pirate or a ballerina.
When
Jenna was younger, we would go for walks ALL of the time. I would point things out as we passed
different yards. “Oh, look at the
flowers” “See that pretty pin
wheel”
The
thing that she seemed to overlook with each yard I pointed out was the
well. I never understood why she
couldn’t see them. Several yards
contained some form of a wishing well. I
don’t know how many walks we took before I realized she was looking for a
“whale”
*******************************************************************
Jenna
was three the first time we had taken her to Arizona. We were actually in the city part when Jenna
asked, “Are we in a dessert?”
I
turned around in disbelief. How did she
know that Arizona is a desert state?
“Yes
we are.” I proudly beamed.
Jenna
appeared to be highly disappointed. And
here is why:
“I
have looked and looked and I have not seen a camel anywhere.”
Oops. Wrong desert.
*******************************************************************
My
Grandma and I had gone to a Ferrell’s ice cream parlor in Hawaii. The Hawaiian menu offered a variety of dishes
that were different from the Utah menu.
I thought it would be fun to take
a few menus home and trade them for a couple of Utah menus and watch as people
would order these foreign creations which might fluster the waitress as it was
obviously a Farrell’s menu – but wasn’t familiar with most of the items listed.
*******************************************************************
*******************************************************************
Farrell’s
had advertised soda water for two cents
a glass. Patrick and two of his friends
decided that they wanted to “splurge”
They got soda waters for each of them – that’s it. I don’t think they fully understood what they
were ordering.
*******************************************************************
Jenna loved fire hats and fire engines and fire fighter equipment. I really thought that she would want to grow up to be a fire fighter. But when asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" she had it narrowed down to two: either a pirate or a ballerina.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Another Guilty Pleasure
We
haven’t always had cable – cancelled due to lack of finances – we’ve even
cancelled the Internet. I was okay with
going to the library, but Roland wasn’t.
And now that he’s taking classes through the Internet – dropping the
Internet would just frustrate him even more.
When
so many stations were converted to HD and even the local channels needed some
kind of box or connection, it seems like we always had TVland. For a while it was our primary source of entertainment. That, and going to the library for offered
programs and to check out DVDs.
The
station has added original programs including a reality show called “ForeverYoung”. The advertisements intrigued me, but I hadn’t watched it when it
initially debuted. But I did check it
out yesterday. I was laughing so hard at watching these two (obviously)
generations try and communicate. Having
lived between the two, I understand the frustration of the other – also having
had to experience it myself.
Jenna
is often asking, “Did they have such and such when you were little?”
“Yes, we had Fisher Price people. They weren’t made of plastic, they were made
of wood. They were smaller than what is
offered now. “
“No we did not have iPods. We didn’t even have CD’s. We had phonographs and walkmans.
“No we did not have DVD’s. I don’t recall the VCR coming out until I was
a teenager.”
“Yes. We had cracker jacks. But they offered cool prizes back then –
well, at least compared to the lame prize that comes with cracker jacks today”
“No, we did not use slates back then. We used paper. How old do you think I am?”
“There was an Electric Company. But it didn’t come out until after Corey was
born. It was different from what you watch today” (I had actually checked out a
DVD from the library not realizing it was from the ‘70’s. She couldn’t stand it)
She is far more superior at modern technology
than I am. She has found things on my
phone that I didn’t even know existed.
She prefers Roland’s phone with his touch screen. Roland is older than me and seems comfortable
using his cell phone, but I hate it. I
actually have small fingers (one of the few parts of my body I can still refer
to as small) but put me in front of a touch screen and they become clumsy fat
hot dogs. I can never find where I need
to go and get so frustrated in trying to do so.
I appreciate the GPS – and the one that we had
was not complicated and much easier to use than the map. But I have used street maps before. I must admit that I have texted messages –
but it annoys me to go through each letter at a time – I’d much rather have a
keyboard. I do own a cell phone but
started out dialing a rotary.
I haven’t been on roller blades – but I know
what they are. I also remember the old
time roller skate that fit over the shoe.
I owned several pairs of shoes with marks left from the roller skate
that I used to glide around in my parents’ unfinished basement.
I’m actually too young to remember the car seat
that my parents used vs. the ones that are out today. Mine hung over the seat – front seat. Mine was yellow. It did not have the cool steering wheel
feature built into it. There was no car
seat law that I know of. Often the cars
themselves didn’t come with safety belts for the driver – let alone the
passengers.
I remember black and white television and a very
limited amount of channels selection. I
remember life without Sesame
Street and Sesame Street without Elmo. In fact, I remember the original cast
featured only four human beings. And I
remember three different Gordons. I can remember that Sesame Street did not explain Mr. Hooper’s
death until a year after the fact.
I remember the world before computers made their
way into just about every home. I
remember the ancient television sized monitors unlike the flat screens of
today. I remember the manual typewriter and the cool features of the new electric ones.
I remember cameras that required film.
I do like this “Forever Young” reality show that
introduces “bridging the gap” and demonstrating that we really can learn from
one another regardless of age.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Growing Before Our Eyes
I
remember the year my eldest niece turned ten.
She had requested that someone could get her a “Savage Garden” album as
a gift. Savage Garden? Really? Hadn’t it been less than a week when she had
been singing along to “Wheel’s on the Bus” and doing the actions for “Eensy Weensy
Spider” and “Popcorn Popping” – okay, something for older children. But still . . .
“Savage Garden” was a group that I
listened to. Why would a child want to
listen to that? Ellen hadn’t been six for quite some time. She was growing up. No longer did she watch shows like “Arthur”
or “Bear in the Big Blue House”. Ellen was maturing. I don’t know when she had
graduated from Disney Sing-alongs to Boy Bands.
She’d always been more sophisticated than her peers – or at least in my
eyes. Ellen was no longer the child I
remember her being.
And now the same thing is happening
with Jenna.
I was doing dishes and had turned on
the radio to drown out the sounds coming from “the Middle” which for some
reason she insists watching on a daily basis (same episode) when suddenly she
appears beside me dancing and singing into an imaginary microphone.
I had heard the song before. I had watched the video for the first time
when Sunny posted it to facebook within the last two years. I think she said her youngest daughter had
been singing it and put it into Sunny’s head.
And now Jenna was singing with it – and she knew all the words! When did my own daughter graduate from Sesame
Street to Boy Bands?
Sunday, January 20, 2013
To Everything There is a Season
For the first time I recently watched “The
Odd Life of Timothy Green” – I’m certain it was involved with a lot more
symbolism than what I saw. Timothy came
to his mom and dad in the spring and had to leave when the last leaf fell in
the fall.
I was crying hard as the show came to
an end – nothing to do with Timothy Green or his departure or anything to do
with the movie at all. Just reminiscing the
long fall that was present during the last five months of 2012 – symbolizing the
same fall as my mother and each of us seemed to be going through with her. Her
leaves were falling more rapidly each day – and then came the harsh winds of
winter. And it’s been cold. Bitter cold.
She will never return to spring
again. Not in this life anyway. The only way she can have spring again is if
daddy returns for her. That may be a
long time from now.
I had no idea that the 8th
would be her last good day. Our last day
as Lucy and Ethel. She seemed almost
comatose after that. And had passed out
at least three times. And then she was
hospitalized. And when I brought her home, she wouldn’t accept it. I don’t think it would have mattered where I
had taken her. She wouldn’t have wanted
to stay. She certainly doesn’t want to
be in the memory care unit that Kayla drove her to. Where she needs to be.
She sits in the community like a child
starting his first day of kindergarten – willing to participate as long as at
least one family member is in sight.
Panic sets whenever that family member has left – or so the child
believes.
She doesn’t understand that we’ve
moved her in there for her own good – for protection as well as consistency. She’s safe. She’s not alone. But somehow – even if she does accept it, she
doesn’t retain for even a full minute.
George and Peggy Bird came to visit
mom while Jenna and I were still with her.
I took it as an opportunity to slip out without mom being irate or hurt
over it. Peggy asked if she had had any
other visitors. Mom said no. Even though Jenna and I were probably still just
in the parking lot.
I think I may be in the fall of my
life right now. I think these winter
storms may have pushed me into fall ahead of schedule. I hope it’s a long fall and that my leaves
shine brilliant colors for a long while before the winds set in. And hopefully my children won’t have to watch
me experience the harshness of winter but may enjoy the peace of the falling
snow.
If I could lose just one ounce per
tear – just an ounce – I would have disappeared by now. I don’t wish to cry anymore. Lucy wants more time with Ethel – the way it
was.
Today is Kayla’s birthday. She’s just started the summer of her
life. It looks like it will be summer
for a while. Happy Birthday, Kayla!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Things sure have changed
The town I grew up in was not a
metropolis. Or at least it hadn’t
started out that way. But over the time,
the city has built itself around that area making it much larger than a town.
When I was little, everything had to be
driven to – the doctors, the swimming pool, the hospitals, my grandma’s house .
. . not much in the way of walking
distance. My parents even had to drive quite
a distance just to get to the freeway.
Today access to the freeway is just around
the corner from where I grew up. I used
to have picnics with my brother and his friends in a vacant field -which is no
longer - as the land was dug up and is now a part of the intrastate freeway.
There are at least 20-30 fast food chains
and restaurants within walking distance.
The small trailer where we had opened our first savings account broke
ground on now houses an actual building that changed hands (bank names) at least three
times before transforming into a Subway sandwich shop. I don’t even know if it’s still there or
not.
Many stores have come and gone since I lived there. I remember one building was a Chinese restraunt, a fish and chips, a trophy and plaque store, and a doctor’s office. Currently it is a Hertz – really? There is seriously a lot to put cars in?
Many stores have come and gone since I lived there. I remember one building was a Chinese restraunt, a fish and chips, a trophy and plaque store, and a doctor’s office. Currently it is a Hertz – really? There is seriously a lot to put cars in?
I remember a few buildings changing hands
on what seemed like a weekly basis.
I loved going to Gibsons and to
Allied. Both names and places of the
past.
Jenna gets angry when I accidently refer
to her Ipod as a walkman.
Says
I’m lucky I had my own phonograph when I was younger. She was thinking the hand cranked kind. I said (in a highly offended voice) I’m not
that old. She laughed.
My brothers (that would include my
non-biological family across the street) and I used to take swim lessons at the
Deseret Gym. Now the LDS Conference
Center built over where Deseret gym used to be.
When we’d visit my Uncle out in Kearns, it
seemed quite a drive from our house – but when I lived there with Roland
everything was really quite close. The
Sinclair gas station that received its new make-over after we moved has now
been ripped out so that the already wide road can be widened even more.
Of course I don’t remember anything about
my birth except for what my mom tells me.
Dad wasn’t allowed in the delivery room.
I had three family members with me when I gave birth to Jenna. My then 11 year old neice was able to watch
her sister get born. But than maybe it depends on what area you're in. My son, Tony, said he wasn't allowed in the delivery room when his daughter was born - and that was just five months ago.
Jenna was not allowed to visit her cousin,
Ana after she was born. But two years later she was able to visit her newborn
cousin, Garret, once he got out of ICU and was brought into his mother’s
room. She wasn’t even allowed to visit
Kayla (Ana and Garret’s mother) two years ago.
Jenna’s car seat had been purchased at a
garage sale eight years ago. It passed
inspection. Not by today’s
standards. No way. I guess I can understand that – to a degree
anyway. There’s another thing that
improves each year – or attempted to anyway.
Mom held me in her lap when I was an infant. As a toddler I was placed in a seat which
slid over the back of the chair – front seat.
My mom was told to keep my brother,
Patrick, and I on our backs. By the time
Corey and Kayla came along, the policy had changed to laying newborns on their
bellies. Mom kept them on their backs
anyway – even Corey who was two months premature. Afterall the back procedure had worked fine
for me and Patrick. Somewhere along the
line it got changed back. Too many
babies ended up smothering themselves.
Jenna preferred being on her stomach. For the most part I would let her fall asleep
on me and then I would lay her on her back.
I remember when she learned to roll from her stomach to her back. She’d cry and cry when she couldn’t figure
how to return to being on her stomach again.
What changes do you remember?
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sunrise, Sunset (a timeline)
Met Roland
Dec 31, 2000
first
date – First Night
New
Year’s kiss on train
Boys welcome New Years with future cousins
three days pass –
Marriage proposal, Oh, right
Mother to three boys
I know them better than I
know dad
I know them better than
dad knows them
Purchase house in Kearns
Roland
and boys move in
May -
Biff’s
birthday.
toothpaste
and laser tag
September
Married
Roland,
Biff, Tony, Randy –
my instant family
our first Christmas
April 2004
Jenna’s
born
First mothers’ day
Precious
moment photo
smiling
up at brothers
but
not for mommy, not for the camera
Jenna grows.
They
all grow.
2005
All
three boys are in high school
Jenna
starts pre-school during Randy’s senior year.
February 2007
Biff
receives mission call to work at Conference Center
March 2008
Family
portrait
Roland
with all six of his children
Tony
leaves on a two year mission to Brazil
Mothers’ Day
Biff
and Randy make a gift for mom
She
is surprised by all the thought
April 2009
Randy
leaves on a two year mission to Portugal
November 2009
lose
house in Kearns,
move
to West Valley
2010
Tony
returns
He
joins the army
trains
at Fort Knox
April 2011
Tony
and Rochelle get married
ten days prior to Randy’s return
Feb 2012
Rochelle
gives birth to Ester
family
goes to Arizona
Grandma’s
birthday
dancing
Biff
and Randy on the dance floor
smiling
dancing
enjoying
life
May 2012
Jenna
gets baptized
Randy
and Carrie get married
smiling
dancing
starting
a new life
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