Being a Part of the Choir

           I love to sing but was not blessed with the talent that makes others want to listen nor have not taken the time to develop my vocal ability.  I have joined a number of choirs through the years – well mostly church choirs.  I have joined for more to contribute to body count rather and overall I have enjoyed the company. I know I am not the greatest singer and so it is nice to belong to a body of those who do.

          I remember my entire family having joined the stake choir when we lived in Kearns.  We performed twice a year as I recall – once during conference and once the first Sunday in December.  The December performance was always so awesome.  There was always at least one song that would tug at my heartstrings and my eyes would moisten as the male voices would soar behind me. 

          Our choir director’s name was Diane.  She had quite a pleasant attitude and would always say things to make us smile – for we needed to smile when we preformed and not appear grumpy.  I have tried to keep that image with me whenever I have performed.

          I remember one stake conference I had gone to each practice diligently with Roland and the boys.  Though we arrived early on Sunday morning for one final practice I ended up bailing on the performance. I had just learned that I was pregnant with Jenna and was experiencing morning sickness.  I had started out sitting in the pews closest to the stand to watch my men.  After a while I went from the front to the back of the chapel and finally to the back of the cultural hall.

          Our stake president found me in the cultural hall amongst the empty chairs and joked “You need to come early to find a good seat back here.”

          I told him I had initially come to perform but was pregnant and needed to be as close to the restrooms as possible.  After that we all seemed to taper off being in the choir.  After we had moved to West Valley we would try to return to Kearns stake on the first Sunday in December to watch others perform.  We didn’t always make it because of the weather.  I don’t know why, but it seems like it always snowed that night as though testing the diligence of those involved.

          Some callings or talks are assigned by inspiration – others have come from desperation.  I don’t know what the reasoning was behind asking Jackie and I to sing something together when I lived in West Valley.  We didn’t have a choir in West Valley and I found that odd.  I’d never been in a ward that didn’t have a choir.  Perhaps if they had everyone would have known that Jackie and I couldn’t sing – each believing the other sounded worse.

          I think we might have been asked just to prove that God does have a sense of humor.  I smiled big and proud.  I thought perhaps if I had followed Diane’s advice, people wouldn’t notice how bad I (we) sounded. We sang a primary song. I think we sang “Jesus Said Love Everyone” (here)  although that does seem shorter than what I remember. Perhaps we sang it through twice.

Even though I had smiled (and maybe Jackie did too – I wasn’t looking at her) I’m sure that we were as pleasant to listen to as two wounded cows. I had posted about it on facebook.  A couple of years later I made a comment that I noticed we had never been asked to perform again.

Letting Go

 I was not on facebook at all on December 31 or January 2.  It was nice.  So many times I have considered removing myself from being connected but there are aspects I enjoy such as “Come Follow Me” and keeping connected with the ward relief society and different community pages.  More pluses than negatives if I will allow myself to look at it that way.

The only reason I had turned on my computer yesterday was because Roland wanted to send Randy a card for his birthday – which is tomorrow and will not get to him in time if we were to mail it out.  If my computer is opened I will open the internet and dabble.  Last night I saw a notification from a member in the ward who I have bonded with in some ways but do not always choose to read her posts and wish I would have gone with my first impulse NOT to click on the notification but ignore – but it was Sunday and she often does share inspirational messages.  No, last night was a question and answer about Trump being able to stay in office.  I don’t know how many people agreed with her but did recognize a few names. 

My first thought was: “Get over it!  Trump lost a long time ago.  Are we seriously going to do away with democracy so an overgrown bully can get his way?” I wonder how many would demand recounts and overpost a victory gone wrong had the tables been turned.  There's been so much bantering the entire year of 2020.  Can't we start the new year off NOT?!?

I was wondering what reference I could use from the scriptures or general conference talks – that’s what we do, right?  Those who were slaveholders used scriptures to prove how God supports slavery while those against slavery used the same set of scriptures to disprove their belief.

I heard the still small voice telling me to

“Let it Go”. 

I decided to listen.

Still I needed something that would bring peace to my own mind.  I looked up “peace” and started into different passages but not satisfied.  I remembered I had meant to look up the lyrics of Micheal McLean’s “I Cry the Day I Take the Tree Down” (here) from the from The Forgotten Christmas Carols.

I had gone into the other room where Roland was finishing up another episode of Stargate and asked if we could watch The Forgotten Christmas Carols on YouTube.  I loved this production made available in November of 2020 though filmed in 2008.  It brought me peace. 

 This year’s Come Follow Me program focuses on the Doctrine and Covenants and I read scriptures from various weeks and found the Lord lovingly chastising me as many of the words spoke to me directly – which is a good thing.  That’s how I need to read them.

Unlike the other standard works, the Doctrine and Covenants themselves do not tell a story but are a collection of revelations.  Behind each revelation is a story and the website offers references that connect and I am awed by how quickly each reference is available at the click of a button – something that our forefathers could not have imagined.

The revelations had been compiled in a book called “The Book of Commandments” but was not made available to the saints as they are today.  Those who were sent on missions were allowed to copy some revelations to carry in their pockets and possibly exchange if they met up with another who also carried scriptures that way. 

I have learned a lot already and hope to continue in the Spirit guiding me and shed the anger of darkness.

For more information see the Come Follow Me programs found here, here and here.

 

 

 

Reminiscing New Years

         Nine years ago today I started my blog.  I explained my purpose and the reason for the title.  The next day I posted about New Years – my goal was to give gratitude with every post.  My posts may have started out that way but I don’t think I was diligent.  I don’t know.  I haven’t gone back to reread every post. Toward the end of the year I was more focused on my mom’s needs as she had dementia and I highly suspect that my posts did not always reflect that of gratitude.

        At the end of the year I had taken Jenna to the library for an afternoon countdown – counting up to 12:00 and blowing horns.  She had wanted to stay up but had conked out by 11:30.    We had gone to my mom’s house New Year’s Day 2013.  We played games with my sister and her husband.  Jenna played with her cousins.  When Corey called my mom later on she told him that we had gone hiking.  We had not gone hiking.  It was too cold.

        I did not post about New Year every year, but when I did I would usually mention the weather, traditions of taking down the tree and reminisced on someone always being sick or emotional on New Year’s Eve.

        By 2014 my mom had passed away.  It was Roland’s turn to be sick and yet he had donated blood on New Year’s Day.  Go figure.  The weather was awesome that year.  Jenna and I took Shilo (aka Highness) for a walk in the park.  Autumn leaves were still on the trees and on the ground.  It was awesome.

        2015 Jenna’s final countdown with West Valley library. We did not know that we would be living in another state within six months. 2016 our first New Years in Oregon.  Jenna rode her bike and I took pictures. 

        There was no mention of New Years in 2017.  Jenna and I had purchased a calendar and had decided to celebrate the list of silly holidays that were suggested. On 2018 I took a suggestion that my sister had posted to write down positive things throughout the year and place them in a jar to be read 2019.  I remember reading through each paper on New Years.  That is the year I had set a goal to write at least two dashes per week or month – I can’t remember. 

        New Year 2020 we completed taking down the decorations (which we had started early due to weather and Roland’s insistence) It was Jaime who was sad that year.  We didn’t know that 2020 would become the longest year known to man. 

        Which brings us to this year.  2021.  Jenna and I played games hoping Roland would join us – but he’s had this cough for over two months now.  A severe cold but nothing COVID concerning.  He’s not always the greatest at taking care of himself.

        At 10:30 we put in Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle so that at midnight when Dwayne Johnson put the emerald back into the Jaguar statue.  Roland opened some sparkling cider that we drink only once a year.  It was still warm and half of it exploded on his pants, on the couch and in one of my slippers.  We poured at the rest to toast the New Year and said “Jumanji” with the rest of the cast as it seemed more fitting than happy New Year.

        Jenna and I took down most of the decorations from the house.  There are still a few strands of lights framing the deck and the eaves.  Roland was quite staple happy when he put them in, but I didn’t wish to drag out the ladder to unstapled them.

        The weather was nice until just after 3:00 – a fierce wind swept over our street just as I finished bringing in the chords that Jenna and I had neglected earlier.  And as with every other year, all of us are finding things that didn’t make it to the shed.

Christmas Angels

           My first daughter-in-law is a lot more creative and frugal with money than I have ever been.  Both skills I am certain that she learned from her mother who was able to make her husband’s paycheck stretch among feeding seven children and providing for medical and clothing needs.  I don’t know what her dad did for a living, but I highly suspected that there had been struggles.  I, unfortunately, never got to know her mom as she passed two months after Tony and Rochelle were married. 

          Roland sent each of the boys a check to use for Christmas gifts this year.  I don’t like going to the post office in December as it is.  And we always end up spending more on shipping than for the items themselves. Of course this year presented even more challenges.  For the last couple of years we have sent out gifts to Tony’s family and sometimes my sister.  We had both told Tony that we wouldn’t be doing a gift exchange this year. Oregon seems to have more restrictions than does Utah – or else there are just more people in Utah that don’t care.

          Tony said they had gifts for us regardless.  I am so happy about the gifts he sent for there was a lot of thought put into them – and I’m certain the family had fun making these:

 

          One year Rochelle had traced each child’s handprint and added faces to make them deer.  This year she turned the handprints into Angel wings:

 

          They also made a nativity which we will hang on our tree next year. 

 

          I received a cup that displayed the photos of the three grandchildren from that side.  There was also a 300 piece puzzle which we will start after we take the tree and other decorations down.

 

          Jenna took pictures of our opening packages and all the games that were sent.  We will be playing one this morning.  Most require more than two people.  Look forward to when we will be able to do that with other people.

Try to See With God's Eyes

 

We are all made of many puzzle pieces 

some more complex than others. 

Some seem near completion but we don’t really know. 

Only God sees the entire picture. 

He knows what puzzle pieces go where. 

 Sometimes He will send people into your life

to help you find your puzzle pieces

 but the picture is never complete for ourselves

 why would it be for another?

  If I don’t know about all the pieces that

are missing from my life or what pieces will

make me whole or tie me to somebody else

 what makes me think I can see

another’s completed picture?  I can’t. 

 

I know I can only see a small handful at best

but I’m not an expert who can always figure out

how they connect. 

I want to be a good friend. 

I want to help others feel more complete. 

Especially during this pandemic. 

We definitely are living an odd era.

God sees the complete picture. 

He knows how we fit.

Food To Go

         On Wednesday one of our most beloved ward members returned home after fighting a battle with cancer.  I don’t know if she had cancer before she and her family had moved out of the ward.  I first learned about it at the Christmas party last year.  She had lost a lot of weight and told her that she looked good.  That is when she sprung the news on me “in confidence”.  She said she had told only a few selected people – those who were her closest friends – which I learned yesterday was just about everybody.  That seemed to be her purpose in life – making each person feel as though he or she was her best friend.  

        I have referred to her as Aurelia in my blog and so will continue with it.  She was the 2^nd counselor in the Relief Society when my family moved to Oregon in 2015. I think she lived further southeast than anybody as it would take her 45 minutes to just over an hour to get to church – depending on the weather.  But she was diligent in making that drive and visiting those she loved.  She would come to the ward once a month to set up for lunch and games.  She loved the ward members.  She loved to laugh.  She loved playing games.  She was so much fun to be around.

        Even after she had moved out of the ward and no longer had a key to the building, she would still come around for those once-a-month Wednesdays until the weather turned.  It made for a longer drive.  Sadly, she didn’t feel connected to the ward she had moved into.  Boy, did they miss out!  Aurelia is one of the most Christ like people that I can think of.  She didn’t gossip or speak unkindly of anyone.  If she did let an unkind word slip (which was rare) she would immediate get on her own case and say that she would have to repent.  Everybody knew and loved Aurelia. And had it not been for this strange year of masks and social distancing the church would have been packed yesterday with those who wished to celebrate her life.

        It has been a tradition within many wards to prepare and serve food to those family members who have traveled for the funeral.  As with many other traditions 2020 has managed to cancel or provide opportunity for those to make adjustments, we did not do the traditional luncheon.  We were told that there would be 20 family members.  Before the services started, we were there to prepare 20 sack lunches for the family to take with them as they drove away.  No social distancing in the kitchen.  Only two people could be in the kitchen in order to accomplish that.  I believe there were five of us. 

        There was no casket, no viewing of the body.  I don’t know if Aurelia had been buried already, where, or surrounding events.  Her family had wanted to hold services where she had been comfortable and had served diligently.  It was a nice service but we sat spaced out and were excused right after the service.  At least three in the back rows (who were excused to leave first) went to our cars and left the parking lot.  I wasn’t there to see how quickly the rest had filed out.

        Various ward members gave brief talks before the family members were invited to share their memories.  Her youngest daughter shared a memory of being sick as a child – she’d been down with the flu or a cold and Aurelia had gone toward her room to check on her when there was some kind of crash that had encountered her leg.  The child got out of bed to come to her mother’s aid but became disoriented and fainted.  Each was concerned about meeting the needs of the other.

        When it was discovered that Aurelia needed care, she was taken to the hospital but still concerned more about her youngest daughter than of herself.  Aurelia left the hospital with 58 stitches in her leg.  The speaker had checked out with no concerns.  That’s just the kind of person Aurelia was – always thinking of others more than herself.  It didn’t matter if we were even blood related. 

        She had told me that she saw the cancer as a blessing.  I understand she was bed ridden toward the end.  Oh, how I have missed her.  How blessed Heaven is to have her back.

Christmas 2020

         Last week I had taken Jenna to the church with me in order to wrap gifts for some members in the ward.  Another sister had dropped by the church to donate some games – which Jenna volunteered to take home.  I’m not really certain how that came about but we did end up with them.

        Thursday night Jenna’s Sunday School teacher dropped off a candy filled sock.  Jenna added the small sock to our fireplace; she said it would be for Bonnie.

 

        It turned out to be a really nice Christmas.  Each of us had three gifts beneath the tree plus the two games we dubbed from Santa Clause. Traditionally we will first open our socks.  Jenna passed them out one at a time.  I noticed my sock was bulkier than it had been before I had gone to bed.  Gloves, toffee, a chocolate orange and a notebook had been added to what I had already put in. 

 

        We each ended up with chocolate oranges – though Roland’s was dark while Jenna and I both received milk.  Roland also had sugar free chocolates and a McDonald’s card.  Jenna and I both received peppermint bark which Roland doesn’t seem to care for all that much. 

Jenna also received some Christmas cubes in her stocking.  She said it was meant for me but had to put it in her sock as there was no room in mine.      

me doing an elf jig while singing a Christmas carol

  

Bonnie's stocking

        After the gifts were open we watched Light the World here.  I like watching the virtual recording as opposed to seeing it in person – which I think I’ve only done once.  Watching so many faces (and not just doll-sized figures on the stage) from the comfort of my couch was so much better than going downtown Salt Lake. While I listened to the music, I filled out this Christmas themed paper.

 

 Afterward we played Mormon-opoly (one of the two games from Santa) It seems like a good theme for the transition from Book of Mormon, Christmas, and the Come Follow Me program which starts the Doctrine and Covenants.  The properties start at the New Testament (Bethlehem, Gathsemane), Book of Mormon (Zarahemla, Jeruselem) and church history (three places in New York, Nauvoo, Illinois and Kirkland Ohio and the progression of the church) also included are four newspapers instead of four railroads, “faith” and “bishop’s storehouse” instead of “chance” and “community chest”, and “spiritual darkeness” instead of “jail”.

        I like reading the information on the properties for example “Fayetteville Township, New York” says

 

·        The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was organized here on April 6, 1830.

·        The first conference was held here on June 9, 1830.

·        Where the Book of Mormon translation was completed.

 

Temple Square:

 

·        The Temple Square Mission began in 1875.

·        Home of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, which held its first broadcast on July 15, 1929.

 

Some of them offer scriptures to read while the game is being played.  Bishop’s Storehouse and Faith cards also include scriptures at the end of each direction.  For example I had to pick a property to donate to charity and then I was sent to spiritual darkness the next round.  Jenna had passed go five times before I would make it around the board once.  And they made me the banker and all of the money and cards stuck together which added more time to the game.  When I landed on Roland’s properties for the umpteenth time I forfeited the game and so Jenna declared Roland the winner. 

 

        Jenna took Bonnie for a walk while Roland and I ate an early lunch.  She had returned after only a few minutes as it had started raining and Bonnie doesn’t like the rain. It was raining for most of the day and into the night.  It is still raining.

         Throughout the day Jenna and Roland played the Book of Mormon chess set while I took a few pictures and started this post for my blog.  I was unable to finish all of my thoughts until this morning.  My post would have probably included more detail if I had not been interrupted.  I suppose it already appears too long.  Oh, well.

how our tree looked Christmas morning

shirt received on Christmas - the only unwrapped gift beneath the tree
pictured: a chicken with the caption keeping it rural.  Also got matching
socks with roosters with the caption: rise and shine (pictured below)

Roland sent this doll to his mom and we got to watch her open it

This was taken later in the night; played our last game - not a new one

Weather, Repairs, Crafts and Desktop

Jenna had wanted to do a craft.  We went and gathered pinecones on Tuesday.  Yesterday we made these:

 Jenna also found the perfect rock and painted a scene.  I thought it turned out well.

 

Roland had purchased some sensors for the house in order to detect anyone in our driveway or anyone on our porch.  One was more sensitive than the other and had gone off more times than needed.  He decided he would take care of it when he got off work yesterday in addition to putting up lights for the stairs and moving the initial light he had purchased which wasn’t serving the purpose as he had hoped.

 We were about to lose light and I didn’t want him to climb the ladder and not be able to finish the projects he had on his agenda.  He was tired and I could sense that he was already frustrated without a darkness challenge.  I suggested putting everything away and trying again today.  He had the entire day off after all.

 He asked me if I would go out with him at 11:00.  The fog was still lingering and it was cold.  Darn cold.  34 degrees Fahrenheit.  I don’t recall ever being so cold in Oregon.  Not even during snowmegeden when the power went out.  COLD.  The first picture was taken before 11:30.

 

The fog started lifting after that.

 

as the sky cleared in the east there was still darkness to the west

tried to highlight above of snowcapped trees

tried to capture dew as it glistened in the trees

 

I turned on my computer to write down my thoughts.  I was greeted by this picture.

My youngest niece and two nephews Halloween this year.  I had to put this on my desktop because it makes me smile.

Light Inspiration and Gratitude

 

I didn’t know what inspirational story to share on facebook – though I thought it should be personal.  I had considered the last day my mom was in the hospital and how all four of her children were there trying to plan her funeral and asking her questions that related.  She was between worlds and so when she gave us answers we weren’t always certain which side she was talking to.  For example Corey had asked about what hymns she would want to be sung.  I knew she likes “I Am a Child of God” and would like it sung at her funeral. When Corey asked “What hymns do you like?” she smiled and said, “That’s a secret.”

I don’t remember all of our conversation.  I know it was a good conversation and all four of her children laughed together.  It felt like an inspirational mood.  I had also considered a time when we had gone to see my great grandma at the nursing home.  Mom had gone diligently every week and grandma, for the most part, hadn’t seemed too with it or able to communicate. 

It was in December – I think just before or maybe on Christmas day – my dad was with us and we sang some Christmas carols and Grandma sang with us.  That was really touching to have her join us and feel like angels were present.  It was later in the evening when I wrote the following:

 

“I did not get dressed today. I wasn't going anywhere and thought my pajamas felt comfortable. As I was thinking about an inspirational story that I could post, I thought about Shauna Hamp who would always get dressed no matter what ailed her because "only sick people stay in their pajamas".

“Shauna was a HUGE inspiration to everyone who knew her. She laughed and smiled and always focused on the good and service of others. I did not know her before she was diagnosed with Scleroderma - a disease that seemingly suffocates the skin and tissues within. When her crippling disease became to painful for her to work in her profession of physical therapy, she went back to school to get her license to become an RN. Shauna outlived her disease by 17 years due to her healthy attitude. She truly was an inspiration. I have good memories of many people in that ward who endured and have taught me a lot.”

         

From that same ward I had interaction with two members who had overcome agoraphobia.  Sharon had shared her story with a small group.  I would have never thought that had ever been a problem.  It seems like this pandemic would have been the perfect place for them at one time.  

There are countless things that I am grateful for. The “light” I shared today was this post:

I have been grateful for the "Come Follow Me" program since its introduction. I am grateful for those who have taken it upon themselves to share their insight. I love watching Don't Miss This with Emily Freeman and David Butler. I also learn a lot from Teach With Power presented by Brad Wilcox. It is especially wonderful to have these tools during the pandemic.––