My Mind and My Body Don’t Seem to Agree

            All of my life people have thought or think that I am younger than I am.  My mind finally agreed with them and has accepted myself as younger.

            When people had asked me how old I was, I seriously had to stop and think about it and subtract 62 from whatever year it was.  Now I add 42 years to whatever Jenna’s age happens to be.

            Before I gave birth to Jenna, I had a bad case of tendonitis – or maybe it wasn’t that bad.  My cousin Michelle had experienced something with her hands – only with her there was pain.  With me it was just numbness – like Novocain numbness.  I’ve never been paralyzed – but I did have a tingling sensation sometimes.  Mostly my fingers just felt lifeless – even after Jenna came along.

            She was the most patient baby.  I would cry as I would try to do up her snaps.  There were only three of them, but it always felt like I spent more time with snapping and unsnapping than I did at changing the diaper itself.  My hands had no strength.

            Gradually the feeling came back and I knew once again that the blood was flowing into my veins.  But lately I have experienced the same numbness – especially when I am writing – or even just holding the pencil/pen.  Both of my wrists have given out on occasion and now it’s the right knee.  My body is aging and my mind isn’t handling it very gracefully.    I don’t wish to live in a body that’s breaking down.  I would like a new one.  Or I say I do, but then I go and mistreat it by feeding it ice cream or chocolate chip cookies and really haven’t done a great intake of fruits or vegetables. 

            I don’t totally blame myself.  Sometimes things happen no matter what precautions are made.  A traffic accident.  A slip on a missed step.  Getting a body part caught in the door or between things.  Though my hearing is not the best, I am grateful I have not lost it completely.  Though I no longer have the same vision I did at ten, I am grateful to have glasses to help aid my vision.  I am grateful for the many people who have chosen to become doctors and for scientists and engineering and for the things that have been created to assist my aging body.

            Jenna LOVES the TV series, Brain Games.  There have been a few episodes that pit one generation against another.  We all have strengths we all have weaknesses.  The part of the brain I didn’t use as a child has apparently gotten stronger for me as I’ve grown older.  I guess as those parts have strengthened, the others have become a bit more lax about sending the right signal to my ears or eyes or fingers.  I don’t know if it’s a good trade off.  Perhaps. 

            Hopefully I can use my mind to its fullest and fulfill my desires in other ways that perhaps my body won’t allow.  I already know I won’t be doing “Pirates of the Caribbean” again.  The last time we went to Disneyland, my legs complained.  I don’t know what kind of desk job I’d be able to find in Myrtle Creek, but I have decided against working as a cashier or in food industry.  I can’t stand for very long anymore.  I think this move ruined what was left of my body.

            I really am trying to focus on the positive.  I’m really not graceful about aging.  Not that 53 or 54 or whatever age I am is all that old.  My mind thinks I’m in my 30’s still.  My body is telling me I may be pushing 70.  I’d like for my mind to win.

No Clown This Year

     I had hired a clown the year that Jenna turned three.  Her first birthday party with friends – one redhead, five blondes, and Jenna with her dark hair.

     The clown’s name was Wheeler.  Two of my boys told me that I should hire my brother-in-law, Bill – who was actually not my brother-in-law at the time.  His wife, Annaleigh had some serious health issues and she would be a priority to whatever party plans I might have made.  At the time, I wasn’t aware that he really was trying to get gigs as a professional clown.

     So on Jenna’s 6^th and 9^th birthday, we had Rocko come entertain the troops.  It was on her 9^th birthday that I realized she had had a clown at her party every three years.  I jokingly asked, “ Will you have a clown at your party when you turn 12 and 15?”

     She said if it were possible, she would have had Rocko again this year.  She decided on a bowling theme party instead.  We had planned on celebrating with friends on the 2^nd, but decided to wait until after we closed on the house.  Poor Jenna hasn’t had her birthday plans fully carried out for the last three years.

     When she was ten she forfeited her birthday with friends.  We went out to dinner as a family -  Mom, Dad, three brothers, three sisters-in-law and a niece.  We celebrated her 11^th birthday in McMinnville last year.  She had absolutely no choice about coming to Oregon.

I think she said she had invited twelve girls – most of whom said they could have gone on the 2^nd but not yesterday.  She had three guests who attended and at least three of them seemed to have fun.  We still wonder if Kyle enjoyed herself at all.

     Bella was the first guest to arrive.  She was actually waiting there with her aunt before we had arrived.  The party started at 1:00.  Her aunt said she’d return at 4:00.  That seems like a long time, but at that point we didn’t know how many guests would show or how long it would take to bowl.

     Kyle arrived before Bella and Jenna headed towards the lane.  I typed in the names for the three girls who were bowling.  They each had bowled three rounds when Savannah showed up.  We got her shoes and added her name.  We had fries and cupcakes, but Roland wanted for something more.  He was hoping to order a pizza, but I misunderstood.

     Before the girls finished their second game, we asked if they would like to go out for pizza, but had each one call whoever would be picking them up so that there wouldn’t be a problem.  But there was.

     Savannah had the wrong phone number and wasn’t able to get a hold of anyone.  Bella was able to get someone right away and Kyle left a message – though I thought she had talked to someone in person.  I had told Roland to go out for pizza and bring it back so that we would be at the bowling alley when the rides arrived, but it was raining.  Savannah said her ride would not come early.  I wish I could rewind and make certain each parent had my phone number. 

     Savannah and Bella had really enjoyed themselves.  Savannah said it was the best birthday party she had been to.  She also confessed that it had been the first birthday party she had ever been to.  That sounded sad to me. 

     Bowling was great.  Pizza was great.  Visiting and entertainment.  And then it was time to take Savannah back to the bowling alley.  Oh, no.  Her ride had already come and gone.  Now what?  I felt so horrible and kept apologizing and Savannah was trying hard to take the blame and tell me that it wasn’t my fault – but it was.  I left my number at the bowling alley (which is what I should have done in the first place) and headed in the direction of Savannah’s home.

     As Roland had seemed to shut off his phone, I stopped off at the Pizza Palace to make him aware of the situation at hand.  I took Savannah home. She told me that I could just drop her off where she catches the bus but I wanted to talk to her family who hadn't received our message until after the fact.

 

     Her family actually seemed cool about it and thanked me for talking to them and apologizing about the situation. I was invited to bring Jenna to come hang out with them sometime. Savannah may still be punished because she got in the car with strangers. I am so so sorry if that is the case. 

     As I was making my way back to the Pizza Palace, I heard my phone go off - twice.  I knew it was Roland.  He knows I don’t answer the phone when I’m driving I didn't understand the urgency. It turned out that Kyle’s parents did not get her message either - or perhaps it was never left? Roland was willing to drive her home.  I told her to call her ride to make certain that would be okay.

       Her dad arrived in a very angry mood.  Poor Kyle.  I felt so bad, especially because I don’t think she particularly enjoyed herself, but I could be wrong.  She just didn’t seem as vocal as the other three. Jenna says she will talk to her on Monday, and I plan on calling her parents later on today.  I hope there are no hurt feelings between Jenna and Kyle because of this.

     I have always stayed with Jenna when I don’t know her friends or their circumstances.  Maybe I’m just not trusting of others.  Of course Jenna is as oblivious as Kyle seemed to be as far as making proper contact.  I hope that Kyle understands that her dad’s anger was the result of love.  I hope that the situation at hand was a learning experience for each of the girls. (I know it was for me) I hope that this will not be the last party for Savannah or Kyle because of the scare that was involved.  

     We did not have a clown this year. I think Jenna may be too old for a clown coming to her birthday party anyway. Savannah, for one, was very glad we didn't have a clown.

My Life in Boxes part 3

            When we moved from Salt Lake to Myrtle Creek, I was so careful about packing boxes.  Taping the outside.  Labeling each box with room name and contents.  I saved every box after we had broken them all down.  I kept them stored in the shed.  I knew that someday we would move and perhaps we would need more boxes and seemed to add to our collection.

            When we moved from Myrtle Creek to Tri-City, I wasn’t so careful.  I taped boxes and filled and closed with flaps but did not secure – nor did I relabel any of the boxes.  The house that we signed to purchase is three miles away from the house we were renting.

            I haven’t felt the need to hang onto boxes anymore.  I think we left just as many boxes at the rental on Myrtle Creek as we had brought with us.  A trip was made to the dump for our waste from Myrtle Creek.  We now have a collection going for the curb every other week in Tri-City.  Many boxes have been broken down, but not all of them.  Some boxes remain empty ready to break down or fill with something else.  Some remain filled waiting to be emptied.  I am happy to say that my life has gone beyond being in boxes.

      After a week our house in Tri-City is starting to look more like a home and not so much a warehouse of stacked boxes everywhere – but still a work in progress that is coming together. My gluteus maximus hurts to the maximus – along with the rest of me . . . .

            Still not hooked up to the large computer and don’t have the ability to transfer pictures from the laptop.  May be another week – maybe longer.  I may do a post of “Just Pictures”.  We’ll see.

2020 is just around the corner

I have always loved poetry by Langston Hughes.  Soon I was reading everything I could by him or about him.  When I read “A Pictorial History of African Americans” I read a quote he had used in reference to Harriet Tubman. I can’t seem to find the quote, but it had to do with planting apple trees.   As a child slave she was not allowed to eat apples off the trees. She said she had wanted to grow several apple trees so that she would have enough to share.  After having escaped and helping several others to escape she settled up north.  She had planted and grew apple trees on her estate in Auburn, New York.

 

            I was fascinated by Harriet Tubman and read all I could about her.  Several years later, I remember Kayla coming home from Snow College for a visit.  She mentioned that she’d been given an assignment to do a report on a historical figure.  The instructor of her class had encouraged the students to come up with someone more original than George Washington – in other words, someone who hadn’t been overdone.

            I jumped all over with ideas of my own.  Why not do Harriet Tubman?  First of all, when one is told to think of a historical figure, most people at that time would think of a man.  I also think it’s a safe guess that most students attending the class would also go with someone who was of Caucasian background.  I thought Harriet Tubman would be an excellent choice, thus Kayla reluctantly agreed, and my mom and I worked on her report before Kayla returned to Ephraim.

            This morning Roland and I were watching the news and learned that the 20-dollar bill picture of Andrew Jackson will be replaced by Harriet Tubman.  I think that is awesome!  Good for America!

My Life in Boxes part 2

         We signed papers on February 5 because we needed to buy a house.  We were told that Roland’s job position would be done away with and so he applied for a new position within the same company.  Rather than continue looking for what we really wanted and what just felt right, we chose to settle because of Roland’s employment situation.

         He was actually supposed to train at the start of this month, but continues to do what he has been doing for the last few years – but with more work for less money.

         We were initially supposed to close on March 29, but had to sign an addendum for a new date: April 6^th – which also came up and we had to sign another addendum – which the sellers assured would be the last. 

         We closed on the 7^th – FINALLY – but still, the paperwork did not record until the 12^th – late afternoon.  Finally had a key and started moving in.  Tuesday back and forth, Wednesday back and forth.  After three loads I took a break and took Jenna to the church to play games.

         Thursday is Roland’s late day – which means he has the morning off.  We did two loads together and then sweet Aurelia came by with pizza and together we did two more loads.

         Roland had told several people that he was planning to move our furniture over today and would need assistance with one or two items.  I think they must have announced it in priesthood.  But he took the day off yesterday and rented a small truck and we actually moved the majority of furniture over yesterday – with just a few things left for moving this morning.

         Bro. Dailey, our home teacher, was the first to show up.  Roland had just finished loading the fridge and showed Bro. Dailey what we had left (which actually was not a lot, but heavy stuff that required more than one person to move) and as they were loading were joined by another that calls himself Hercules and they were just loading the last item when Bro. McDonald arrived.

         They finished up just in the nick of time, too.  The house across the street from our rental has been going through a renovation since December, I think.  The guy who bought it has put possibly three times the amount that he’ll ever get out of it.  It’s just now starting to come together, and actually looks nice.  But what a nightmare – probably even more so than our situation.

         That street has never seen so much traffic as what has arrived and parked in the vicinity of both of our houses.  Just after Roland and all the others had

driven away, those working on the house across the street had blocked off the street with polycones.  I will not miss the construction traffic that has seemed to grow more each day.

         Offloading went more quickly than anticipated.  Roland told me his number of helpers had grown from three to nnine.  I didn’t finish the cleaning at the rental.  I chose to get lunch instead.  I had ordered two larger than large pizzas to bring to the house, but before the pizza had even finished cooking, all of the crew was gone.  I think Jenna managed to eat 1/3 to half a pizza by herself.  We still have one pizza left.

         Hopefully when I post again, I will have all connections for displaying pictures, a little more time, and fewer boxes to deal with.  I am so so tired.  I feel like a zombie.

         Still in between houses.  Both homes are in chaos – our new one especially.  And currently I should be unpacking instead of posting this. But my body is tired.  Roland’s body is tired.  Unless we can hire professional movers, I cannot see that we will ever be moving again.  But so much has been nicked and scratched and dinged and whatever (including us) that if we can hire professional movers, surely we could just start fresh from scratch.  But let us get settled in this house first.

         I even have pictures.  Just don't have the ability to access them right now.  Perhaps in another week or two – if I may actually live that long.  I am so out of shape.  I feel like a dried up rubber- band all brittle and not as stretchable as perhaps I was at one time.  This rubber band is about to snap.

         So at least one more post of my life in boxes as I feel such disarray at the moment – as though the amount of boxes will never end and I’ll always be searching but unable to find.   

 

My Life in Boxes part I

         We closed on our house finally.  It's supposed to record today.  It's been a painful ride.  Have several boxes packed, but we still don't have a key.  The plan is to move all the big pieces of furniture this upcoming weekend.  Other than that, I'll be loading the car with as many boxes as I can, drive to Tri-City, unload and repeat. 

         Right now I'm just taking a break from packing boxes and having them ready.  I don't know how the weather will be for us.  Last week was so hot and this week has been overcast and cool. 

         None of us are excited about moving, but we are all looking forward to saving some money. And I am looking forward to taking a bath in a tub that is deep enough to cover my entire body (unlike the turkey pan sized tubs that we've had in Utah.  Currently we don't have a tub at all)

         Break's up.  Don't know when I'll get back to posting.  We'll be unhooking the computer pretty soon. 

Values & candy treasures in Plastic Eggs

         Dee, who is the young women's personal progress specialist in our ward, had passed out bags of plastic eggs to the young women on Easter Sunday.  The eggs were to be opened during conference weekend, and as Jenna would be turning twelve on Sunday, a bag was given to her as well.  The eggs came with these directions:

I did find these instructions on pinterest, but
could not find any other information when I
clicked on  "view" and so do not have original source

          We were in Roseburg when Conference started, but was recording, and so when we returned home, I told Jenna that she could open an egg.     She chose the dark blue one.  

          I wanted Jenna to read and follow each message, but her heart seemed to be in the candy and the clues. 

          I decided that I would answer the questions on my own and discuss their meaning whenever she felt ready to participate. 

          Jenna would open 3 eggs for each session, one during each singing break.  Each egg contained a message with clues and a treat.  She felt obligated to eat the candy immediately. These are the first six messages which she received in the order they were open.

          and her incomplete message on Saturday

I had signed onto facebook just after conference and found this message from Dee:

Here are the Value Experiences that you can start with your General Conference Easter Egg Hunt...

Clue #1- Faith #3
Clue #2- Divine Nature #7
Clue #3- Individual Worth #4
Clue #4- Knowledge #1
Clue #5- Choice & Accountability #4
Clue #6- Good Works #1
Clue #7- Integrity #7
Clue #8- Virtue #3
Clue #9- Faith #2
Clue #10- Divine Nature #1
Clue #11- Individual Worth #6
Clue #12- Good Works #3

I then went to the Personal Progress online and found transferred this information according to the same order as she had opened

Read Mosiah 18:7–10, and in your journal list three ways you can comfort others or help them bear their burdens. Do the things on your list, and tell a family member or leader about the experience and how your attitude and understanding have changed.

Learn the definition of the word peacemaker. Then find and read five scriptures that teach about peacemakers. Become an example of a peacemaker in your home and at school as you refrain from criticizing, complaining, or speaking unkindly to or about others. Pray each morning and evening to Heavenly Father for help to do this. After two weeks write in your journal what new habits you want to develop, how being a peacemaker is part of your divine nature, and how you will continue to be a peacemaker.

Discover the principles of faith taught by the mothers of Helaman’s stripling warriors. Read Alma 56:45–48 and 57:21. Review what “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” says about a mother’s role. With a mother, grandmother, or leader, discuss the qualities a woman needs in order to teach children to have faith and to base their decisions on gospel truths. How can these principles help you in your life today and help you prepare to be a faithful woman, wife, and mother? Record your thoughts and feelings in your journal.

List the issues, trends, and problems that weaken the family. Read the First Presidency message, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”, and the section on family in For the Strength of Youth. Then research in the Church magazines the counsel of those whom we sustain as prophets, seers, and revelators. Write in your journal your plan to strengthen your present family and the values and traditions you want to establish with your future family.

Read about repentance in Isaiah 1:18; Alma 26:22; 34:30–35; Moroni 8:25–26; and Doctrine and Covenants 19:15–20; 58:42–43. Record in your journal what repentance means to you. Study the process of repentance, pray for guidance, and apply the principles of repentance in your life.

Prepare to be worthy to enter the temple and to participate in temple ordinances. Read Alma chapter 5. Make a list of the questions Alma asks. Answer the questions for yourself, and make a list of the things you can and will do to prepare yourself to be pure and worthy to enter the temple and receive all the blessings our Heavenly Father has promised His beloved daughters.

then repeated for Sunday - her birthday. 

1.            The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Learn about faith from the scriptures and living prophets. Read Hebrews 11; Alma 32:17–43; Ether 12:6–22; and Joseph Smith—History 1:11–20. Read two general conference talks on faith. Exercise your own faith by establishing a habit of prayer in your life. Begin by regularly saying your morning and evening prayers. After three weeks of following this pattern, discuss with a parent or leader what you have learned about faith and how daily personal prayer has strengthened your faith. In your journal express your feelings about faith and prayer.

3.       You are preparing now to fulfill a unique mission on the earth. Read Doctrine and Covenants 88:119. In your journal make a list of your hopes and dreams for your future home, family, and education and some important things you would like to accomplish in your life, including becoming a wife and mother. Then write a plan that will help you achieve your goals. Share this plan with a family member, leader, or friend.

4.       Learn about the importance of gaining knowledge by reading Proverbs 1:5; 4:7;2 Nephi 28:30; and Doctrine and Covenants 88:78–80, 118; 90:15; 130:18–19;131:6. Think about why you need to gain knowledge and understanding about how to apply gospel principles to your present and future home and family life. Write in your journal what you have learned about knowledge, and discuss it with a family member or Young Women leader.

6.       Spend at least three hours giving service outside your family. Ask your ward or branch Relief Society president or a community leader for suggestions for service. For example, you might take care of children while parents attend the temple; collect, make, or recondition toys or games for a nursery; accept an assignment to clean the meetinghouse; or perform errands for or read to a homebound person or others in need. Record in your journal the reactions of the person you served and possible goals for future service opportunities.

10.     What are some of the divine qualities of a daughter of God? Read “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”; 2 Peter 1; Alma 7:23–24; and Doctrine and Covenants 121:45. In your own words, list the divine qualities discussed in your reading. Think about how you can discover and develop each of these qualities. Record your ideas in your journal.

11.     When you participate in family history, you come to understand your identity and individual worth. Visit with your living relatives to learn as much information about your family history as possible. Then complete a pedigree chart of your family and list the temple ordinances that have been completed for each person.

She did not open the last two eggs until just before 5:00.  

I was too lazy to text the message in it's entirety and so scanned and messaged on facebook.
 

We forgot to ask who would/will receive the extra treat awards.  Perhaps it will be announced on Sunday