When the Circle Gets Smaller

 

          I had first considered her mom’s friend before I had considered her my own.  I knew her from the ward and neighborhood.  She is the first one I remember having such a passion for genealogy (now more commonly known as family history).  She had grown up in foster care and had the desire to be connected.  She found a sister and her mother I believe.  I loved hearing her stories.  She taught family history classes and make arrangements to go to the genealogy library located downtown.  I was twelve at the time.  Definitely the youngest in the class.

          Yesterday Peggy had posted:

          “Another dear friend passed away this afternoon.”

Peggy’s mom had lived to be 106 and could still carry on a conversation.  In a way, it is hard to be that age when so many of your friends have passed on to the other side while you might feel left behind.  I thought how each of us have circles of friends and as we age death seems to linger nearer.  The sizes of the circle seems to deplete as death claims another.  Some are sad about it while others are at peace – depending on the circumstances.

Corey had made a comment on Peggy’s wall to wish his condolences.  Peggy responded to let him know that she would reveal our friend’s name as he knew her too.  The death was sudden.  She fell.  It sounds as though she died instantly and so it was very unexpected.  Sudden deaths can be hard on the family who haven’t had time to prepare, but from the experience I’ve had having many years to prepare – I think I would rather have my friend or family member go sudden than to have to watch them slowly go downhill.  I would also want sudden for me rather than to deal with constant pain for years.  I am a whimp.

I learned about another death while conversing with a pool buddy.  She said she had seen a former member and had learned his wife had passed (also a former pool buddy – one who used to climb the pool steps with half of all the pool workout equipment in hand.  I always marveled at that.  She had been battling with afflictions for over two years now but never complained – at least to us.  I think she mentioned it once or twice but didn’t dwell on it and seemed in good spirits though some days were obviously harder than others. Her son was the first one to teach Jenna the clarinet.

The instructor of the water workout class has been picking me up and taking me home.  She has a really hard time with death.  I wish it wasn’t so painful for her.  I also hope that I don’t come across as callous because my point of view has always been that death is not a bad thing.  There are some days in which death seems preferable to one’s condition.  I’ve had that in my life in which the pain was so bad that death seemed like a great alternate.  But I was able to bounce back from it.  It was only a temporary pain.  Some people don’t have that.  Some people are not able to breathe on their own, or may be bed ridden for the rest of their life. 

Attitude is crucial.  I’ve met many who have outlived their condition due to their amazing acceptance and upbeat personality.  I’ve also met many that are tired and have given up as they feel they are only existing rather than living.  So long as we keep ourselves active – but sometimes we don’t have control over our activity.  Sometimes we’re limited.  Death knows no boundaries. 

I think death for me will be a happy reunion with those who have gone before me – those I look forward to seeing again.  The circle will get large again.

I Would Have Rather Gone Through With the Family Outing to the Dentist

           Where do I start on this post?  At the beginning?  I don’t remember when the beginning was.  Sometimes I will see an ambulance parked (but still running) in front of one of my neighbors’ houses.  At least once I have seen a paramedic truck.  I have always wondered why they aren’t sent in clusters. 

          In Utah it seemed no matter what emergency vehicle we would specify, they would all show up.  I hadn’t seen that in Oregon since this post almost a year ago.  Jenna calls it cruel irony.  But let me back up again.

          Roland had an appointment to go to the dentist yesterday.  My appointment is not until July 29 but there was a cancellation for yesterday at 3:00.  How cool is that?  I charged both of my kindles expecting we’d fulfill this outlandish date.  Then they had another cancellation come up and asked if we could bring Jenna.  It was before Roland got off and so we would have to take two cars.

          The Saturn has been jerking and needs a new transmission.  We had even talked about whether to have it fixed or donate for tax purposes or what.  Truth be known, I do prefer driving the Saturn to the Impala.  The Impala really hurts my back and/or legs after a while – not that the Saturn doesn’t.  I guess it is a different pain that I can deal with better in the Saturn.  The Saturn is a city car.  It slows down with each hill it has to climb.

          Anyway, I have been driving the Impala to avoid the jerkiness.  But it was apparent that we would need both cars and so left the sluggish Saturn for Roland to drive to the dentist and thought I would drive it home.  Each of us would have a turn at each car but in different directions. 

          Smiles dental is located in Riddle.  It is about ten minutes away.  Yesterday I was about three minutes away from the dentist when the Impala collided with another car.  I did not even see the car until we hit. The car was silver but three of us had seen white.

Turning onto Pruner Rd. The road the two cars are on change
names at least six times.  The side with the black car is
Pruner Rd (which continues at the turn) while the white
car is on the side called Riddle Bypass Road. 

          I made a U-turn from where I was turning in order to pull off the road.  I did not see the other car again until after it was towed.  I had parked behind a man who hadn’t fully seen what happened but had heard it.  He, along with me and Jenna had seen white.  He made comment about how hard it is to see something white coming from that direction. I saw the car in real life about as well as what is on the above illustration.

         Good Samaritans had stopped their cars to ask if we were okay.  One of the drivers called 911. A volunteer firefighter was at the store close by and arrived on the scene within seconds.  He asked if we were okay and seemed to want to check us outside the car. It wasn’t until then that I realized my car door wouldn’t open wide enough for me to slip through – but he yanked it open.

          I am floored by how quickly and how many emergency vehicles arrived on the scene (and I’m certain that I didn’t even see them all).

 

It’s been less 24 hours and I’m still shaken up about it.  I suppose because I’ve had to recount what happened so many times.  Accidents happen so quickly and in my case I am always asking questions or coming up with “What if” scenarios. 

“Where was my brain two seconds ago?”

“Had I stopped or just slowed down?”

“Too bad we didn’t have the Saturn as it has sluggish problems as is;  I may have avoided this altogether”

“Oh, what would have happened if I had had the Saturn?  If I couldn’t open the door of the Impala I wouldn’t have been able to have been able to open at all.  My legs could have been severed!”

The excessive heat advisory was suppose to last throughout today, but the last two mornings have been so nice.  Overcast and cool.  The way it should be.  Perfect.

How blessed we were that we did not have to wait in the excessive heat. 

How blessed we were that neither Jenna and I were not injured.  The other driver unfortunately did receive pain to her knee.  Paramedics had looked her over, but she declined going to the hospital or other facility to get treatment.

How blessed we are with this community and all of those who volunteer their time and services.

The firemen were grateful to be holding signs and pushing brooms at the scene of an accident rather than being out fighting fires. 

Many blessings really.  Some that we may not even recognize right now, but possibly sometime in the future we can look back and say “I can’t believe the accident was a blessing.” 

I don’t know how the other driver views the situation.  She was worried about her son getting to work on time as she was delayed at getting to him to watch his children.  May she and her family be blessed as well.

Roland came and got us.  The deputy who took our information escorted us across the street to where he had parked.  Tow trucks arrived.  Jenna took several pictures.

our Saturn parked across the road

  

We were not hurt in the car accident, but did manage
to encounter this blackberry bush.  Had we needed
the paramedics, it would have been because of this.

A firefighter took this picture.  Another moment of
"What was I thinking?" as that was not my true
emotion.  Nothing about this photo implies that 
we were shaken up.

Progression of Our Back Room

 It's been hard having done without our second fridge - walking around or over piles of stuff - not being able to use the back door.  Oh, but it will be so worth it.  So here is the progress thus far:

Oh, blessed those who can work in this heat.  Levi must be part camel.  I am so excited for this new addition.

If Corona Didn’t Kill You Perhaps the Elements Will

             Our nation has issued a warning for extreme heat

in the western states.  The sun had not fully risen

this morning when I took Bonnie out for

the shortest walk ever. 

Alexa informed me that the temperature

was 75 degrees fahrenheit –

Google said 73. 

It felt lke 80

– at least. 

 

I wonder if those people who were so skeptical

to believe the seriousness of the cornonavirus

believe that the weather is a hoax. 

I wonder if they will allow themselves

to dehydrate because

“nobody can tell me to drink water. 

I should be able to choose”

 

I wonder if they think the elements are

a conspiracy started by another country. 

I wonder if they believe how much nicer

the weather would be if

Trump was still in office. 

75 degrees and climbing! 

It’s not even 7:00 a.m. yet!

Throwing Hands part two

             Filling out online applications is insane.  You think you are filling out the application for the site and suddenly realize that you have moved to some other site – perhaps job related as well or for a school or heaven forbid, a scam.  That’s right. 

I have three different email accounts.  One I had to open in order to create this blog account.  One I keep as a personal account.  The oldest of the three accounts I keep as a junk mail account.  I used to check it maybe once a month.  Since I’ve been job hunting I will check either daily or at least every other day.  It’s still a lot of email to go through.  I checked it only one time during the week we had family here.  After Roland had taken them to the airport I had over 200 emails to wade through.

Any site I have ever ordered from, any site connected with the schools in Utah, any job site I have ever looked at and then some are among the emails that I currently receive.  Some have posted the same position over and over.  I have applied, even interviewed and have not been hired.  

Some positions are questionable – especially all of those who appear from the woodwork that have “seen my file online” and try to sell me on “I think you would be the perfect fit”  - for telemarketing, for selling insurance – really?  You read my application?  What part of my application led you to believe that I want anything to do with soliciting product?  I have been in education.  I have an accounting degree.  I don’t wish to be a part of your trafficking's, thank you very much!

Roland gets a ton of Robo-calls.  I am so sick of criminals preying on the weaknesses of those who can’t afford to be taken in by the scams.  If you type in Jashin Insurance, for example, it will take you to the Jashin Insurance website – built for suckers who are willing to supply personal information that they should provide only after being hired by said company.  

Do NOT give your information over the phone or over the web.  Don’t provide your social security number or credit card number to anyone who calls you.  We need more honesty and trust.  There is so much skepticism due to illegal activity.  Fortunately we have a higher power than ourselves.  I will definitely turn to Him before I invest information in all these recruiting scams.  How else I’m I going to know when the legit finally comes along?

Don’t Jump to Conclusions but Give the Benefit of the Doubt

          The “Come Follow Me” lesson for last week was sections 64 – 66.  The theme for section 66 is on forgiveness.  It made me reflect back to the talk given in sacrament on the day my family arrived.  I believe he said he had based it on Elder Bednar’s talk from the October 2006 General Conference here. 

          The message of the talk was to not take offense.  There are many of us who take offence due to the actions or words used by others – or so we suspect.  But perhaps the “offender” is not even aware that we were offended. It’s not likely that the “offender” had gone out of his or her way to offend us but more likely that we misinterpreted.

          I have shared these two examples here and here in which I was the offender.  It reminded me of this skit

                How many times have I been in Ernie’s shoes? How many times have I thought up things that didn’t deserve the reaction I gave?  How many times have I jumped to conclusions rather than give another the benefit of the doubt?  I try to understand the other’s point of view.  I know I can be friends with those that don’t share my beliefs.  

https://www.virtuesforlife.com/why-com
passion-is-incredible-for-your-health/

            As I age I have become wiser about some issues while my understanding is still fogged about other matters.  I want to be accepting.  I want to have better communication skills.  I want to understand another without being judgmental about a certain situation. 

          I am grateful for the opportunities to learn and for Heavenly Father’s love.  May I continue to strive to be an example unto Him.

Will Mr. Gobbles Die on that Hill? or Will He Find His Way Home?

         I don’t know where I might have been when the turkeys came into our yard for the first time. I must have been picking the girls up from the farm or dropping them off.  I remember Roland saying the neighbor from behind us stood on our door step with a net and asked permission to go and recapture her turkeys.

The chickens and pigs had made their way to our yard in mid-August but we did not see another turkey until just before Thanksgiving.  Jenna named him Mr. Gobbles.  He had made it through the Thanksgiving holiday but was gone before Christmas.  They have since added a couple of turkeys to their menagerie. A different Mr. Gobbles is currently pacing back and forth on our side of the hill.  He has been there all day trying to figure out how to return from whence he came.

As I mentioned in an earlier post Roland will no longer feed or water the chickens.  Well, he does use the hose on them whereas before he would fill up containers, but not anymore.  They ruined his cucumbers and nearly spoiled our tomatoes – but as our cukes were ruined anyway, we took down the fencing and put it around the tomatoes.

When Randy and Carrie visited, Jenna took Devan out to feed the chickens.  But we had stopped feeding before they left and taken the rest of the food up to Roseburg to feed the ducks.  On Tuesday Roland used the hose to chase all the hens up the hill.  He and the elders used the remaining chicken wire to attach to the neighbors fence to hold back the fowl.  The neighbor gave Roland and basket of eggs which he in turn gave to the missionaries after discovering 20 or so eggs that the hens decided to lay under the tarp that we have over an assortment of odds and ends that were on the deck.

The chickens don’t need to be in our yard anyway.  We are having a back room added to the house and the chickens have a habit of being in the way. Yesterday one of the smaller hens found a way into our yard.  Roland said that he saw one of the brown hens as well.  Today it was Bruce and Mr. Gobbles.  Roland said he squirted both and Bruce finally returned.  Mr. Gobbles remains clueless

The progress on our new room has seemingly come to a halt as we wait for an inspector.  The base isn’t even finished.  I miss being able to hang my towels and swimsuit on the line after I return home from the pool.

Well This Day Hasn’t Gone According To Plan

 I suppose it’s my own fault for having a “not exactly stressful day” but “not the way I would have done it day” and it isn’t even afternoon yet.  What’s up with that?

Pre-pandemic the Relief Society presidency would hold our meetings on Wednesday either at 10:00 a.m. or 1:00 p.m. depending on whether I had accepted an assignment to work at the school.  Meetings were basically arranged according to my schedule.  Ahhh.

Then came the pandemic.  It really didn’t matter what time or what day of the week our zoom meetings were.  Even before we had returned back to the two block meetings and held our meetings in person, we had somehow changed to Tuesdays at 10:00 am. which I hadn’t even thought about one way or another until just this very moment.

Yesterday I went to the pool for the first time in almost two years.  It had rained before we left and Roland had tried to discourage us from going.  But I knew Carol would be there.  Rain is different in Oregon than in Utah.  We don’t have lightening storms.  The pool is open when it is overcast or raining.  It’s a part of life.  Deal with it.

I had planned on going to the pool today as well.  One of the presidency says she plans on going to the water workout also but was unable to do so yesterday.  She had mentioned it the other day and I freaked.  I had forgotten!  But I then received messages from both her and the RS president that the meeting had been cancelled. 

“Oh, good,” was my initial thought but I do have some things address but did not wish to press the pres. as her brother is a victim of COVID and she was planning to go out of town to be with him.  We had a small messaging conversation before she changed her mind and said the meeting was back on for 10:30.    

Meanwhile Jenna had reminded me of some other commitments I had made – specifically taking her to the theatre and her friend to the high school.  Oh, yes.  I told the RS pres that I would need to drop Jenna’s friend off between 11:00 and 11:30.  Thus the meeting was cancelled again.  But I would still like to have a meeting.

So this morning I created an agenda for myself :  Forego the pool for this morning. Drop Jenna off at the theatre at 9:45.  Pay water bill (as I am headed that direction; I might as well continue) go to the post office to mail the Fathers’ Day Cards that Roland had created.

Carol had asked if I could meet at Soco which I thought would be yesterday, but it’s really today.  Since I’ll be downtown mailing the letters I may pop in at Soco just to say Hi.  Spend a few minutes before I return home to take Jenna and her friend to the high school – even though the school season has ended.  Ruth is eligible for a program that Jenna isn’t because of finances and education or something.  Both Roland and I have graduated from college and the program is geared to students whose parents don’t have college background – or something like that.  I don’t totally understand it – just know that Jenna does not qualify.

Sometime between six and seven this morning Roland informs me he wants the cards taken to the post office the minute it is open.  What?  My belief is that the mail is collected only once a day.  It will go out at 3:00 – but Roland believes there is another time scheduled for first thing in the morning.  I don’t think so.  But okay.  I will leave just before 9:00 a.m. so that I can hand it to somebody personally.  Got it. 

Though it takes only seven minutes to get downtown, Jenna and I left the house at 8:45.  She couldn’t understand why we were leaving one hour before she needed to be to the theatre.  I figured she would want to come with me and I wouldn’t have to stop off at the house again.  We could take our time.

She opted to stay in the car which was nice because then I didn’t have to drag my purse inside.  I just left it in the car with her and went inside the post office, handed the Myrtle Creek and “everywhere else” mail to the postmaster.  Returned to car.  Drove to the pool.  They were just getting started which meant there’d be no line.  I decided to buy a pass but thought it would be easier for everybody if there wasn’t a line.  I will start my pass tomorrow.

Returned to the car and saw class members lifting the water weights.  They looked like giant flyswatters from my point of view.  My eyesight has become so horrible without corrective lenses. Jenna got out of the car and took some pictures which I may post whenever she sends them to me . . .

I had time to pay the water bill before dropping her off at the theatre which worked out really great for me as I would only have to make one left hand turn instead of two.  Funny thing about the water bill – they come on postcards that have a fold.  Customer is supposed to rip at the fold and return with payment.  Only I never saw the part I am suppose to return.  My neighbor said she had the other part in her mailbox.  We are one digit apart and our mailboxes are on the same side of the street.  It hasn’t happened often, but we have gotten each other’s mail before.  Usually it has been the sender who was in error and not the post office itself.

I then dropped Jenna off at the theatre and knew I’d have at least 30 minutes before meeting my friends at SOCO.  I really had to use the toilet and figured that using one at my house would be more convenient than anywhere else and so drove home and started an email agenda which I still need to finish with.  I remembered that Roland takes his break at 10:00 and told him that I’d be taking the car downtown.  He said he wanted to go with me but I was going to meet my friends and hadn’t planned on having Roland there – though they seemed happy to see him. 

He ordered a burrito and the absolute worst drink that I have ever tasted.  I suppose it was somewhere between an energy shot and a beer.  He thought it would have more juices as it was labeled mango and passion fruit.  Don’t know whose imagination supposed it tasted like it resembled any kind of fruit.   Carol wouldn’t taste it as Roland had already had his mouth on the bottle.  But Jenna, Ruth and I had all tasted it and I think Ruth was even more grossed out by it then I was.  Jenna didn’t seem to mind and ended up drinking the rest – but more out of just not wanting to waist it rather than her low standards of food and drink.  I was willing to throw it out. 

Jenna reminded me that I had agreed to take her and Ruth out to the wild life safari but Roland has the day off Friday and I thought it would be great if he could drive us out there.  Jenna’s day didn’t go according to plan either.  I said I would take them to the safari.  But we’re each at home doing our own thing.  Though now that I’ve posted this, I will go hang out with her.

Remembering a Time . . .

Facebook memories shared a video put out by Vice News on HBO.  I watched this as though seeing it for the first time and felt nostalgic at doing so.  I had heard the rumor before joining the library board when it was considered a public library.  Many of the libraries did reopen eventually, but most are no longer considered public but rather “Third Party” libraries as there is no funding to pay a staff or even just one librarian.  Myrtle Creek is a third party library.  I think Riddle has gone public – or perhaps were in the processing.  But COVID could have changed that.  A lot of changes since COVID.  But the closing of the libraries happened three years before.  I miss the public libraries we’d gone to in Salt Lake.  I am grateful for my kindle and having the ability to update with Amazon.

https://www.slideshare.net/nadajabar/libraries-matter-53581250

Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these . . .

 

On May 21^st Joh and Corey had discovered another stray in their yard and like before (see here) they took it upon themselves to feed the neglected tom and nurse it back to health. 

Corey and Joh’s first miracle cat had shown up on the 25^th – the day they had scheduled for their new stray, Jasper to see the vet.  On the 31^st Corey wrote:

“With the collar that Joh gave him, his shaved fur, and having our home as his temporary abode, it makes me cry because he's been given back some of the dignity a cruel world took away from him and, of course, he's got love and caring now, too. Don't we all deserve that?”

Jasper in May

On May 31 Joh had proposed the question: "If Jasper was a human being, what do you think his life was?"

And on June 3 (a year after Joh’s mom had passed) Corey wrote that: “Jasper represents a hope for a different outcome”.

I’ve enjoyed the updates that are posted and have so much admiration for the compassion and the willingness to give.  Yesterday I read this post and asked Corey’s permission to post it to my blog:

“When I was in Sydney, Australia with [Joh], I saw a homeless man whose figure felt so tragic, I wanted to capture it because it was such a haunting and sad image to me. I really second-guessed whether I should do so because it felt cruel of me to take a photo of this man's misery like some sort of exploitative tourist. But there was something pathetic, and yet also filling me with a sense of compassion, about the man's posture, that I wanted to safeguard the image as a reminder to me that there are people in low places in life, and it behooves us to stand up and take notice and help each other, if we can.

photo courtesy of Corey

“All I could do that day was put some money in the man's outstretched cup, but I really wanted to somehow do more, yet felt powerless and helpless to make any sort of real difference.

“As [Joh] and I were talking about Jasper this evening, we remarked how it feels like he wants to be loved and held and pet, but still is a bit guarded in doing so, as if the world has so abused him and tossed him aside, that it is a challenge for him to trust and learn to love again.

“Clearly, he trusts us and is affectionate with us. He eagerly greets us and rubs against our legs and allows us to pet, scratch, and hold him. But there is always an underlying tension—a fear, maybe—a posture that he holds that indicates that he is scared this feeling of comfort, love, and security won't last. I wondered yesterday if when we took him to the vet, he thought we were getting rid of him.

“I do not know what traumas this little guy has faced, but I know he has, and it is, of course, taking time for him to adjust to a life that is different than the one he had. And as [Joh] and I talked, we discussed the parallels of foster kids or recovering addicts or war veterans or anybody, really, who has experienced trauma or betrayals or disappointments and is trying to heal.

“I wish at times that we could really see into each other's hearts and intimately know the burdens and pains that make us who we are and how we act. I think if we could see deeply into each other's souls, we would be more compassionate, patient, and understanding with one another.

“This picture [four paragraphs above] reminds me that we are all of worth and that sometimes circumstances put our fellow human beings in unfortunate places, but that if we have the means, opportunity, and prompting to lend a hand or a kind word, we should.

“I have never shared this photo with anyone until tonight. Not even [Joh] had seen it until this evening. But I share it with you with the hope that when you or I see someone who is in need, whether in large ways or small, that if we have the ability to help, we should.”

The coat that currently covers Jasper's misshapen body

Better Without Heat

       It rained yesterday.  An Oregon downpour - but nothing on Salt Lake forming puddles in the street - only the streets that have potholes.  It was a welcome drench.  This morning is muggy.  Still cool on the outside, but have the A/C running currently in the house.  This week has been so nice we have not used the A/C or the heat.  I wish it would just stay like this.

    Though I had written the following on Monday did not post until this morning:

It is much nicer weather this week than last week – cooler than I remember June weather being but closer to the temperature that brought me out her in the first place.  Cooler weather for Levi to build a deck/room as compared to last year’s front deck built in July – though not scalding.  I think each July has been hotter than the last since we arrived in Myrtle Creek although there was no Summerfest last year.  I will have to search online for something more accurate than my body telling me that’s how it is.

The last few days of May and the first couple of days of June were unbearably hot for me personally.  I thought perhaps Randy had packed it up and brought it with him.  He apparently prefers the heat and will walk in it but I don’t like walking in temperatures over 70.  The only time he saw we walk was when we were in Bandon.  The temperatures there were like they are now in Myrtle Creek.  I would like this temperature to remain this consistency throughout the year.  That would be awesome!  None of this 75 to 98 degree nonsense (or higher – I do remember Myrtle Creek getting over 100 once – but three digit temperatures really are rare).  60 – 70 degree range is nice. 

It’s supposed to rain.  I don’t know how Levi feels about that.  The heat didn’t seem to bother him in July.  I will have to ask next time I go outside.  Roland wants us to document the happenings of the progress as we have in the past.