Welcoming the New Year

A year ago today, mom lost her driver’s license.  It’s hard to believe how much of her memory has been wiped out in such a short time.  Yesterday she seemed almost comatose to me.  Her birthday is not until June.  Jenna asked if we could go to her house to celebrate.  There were tears in my eye because I honestly don’t know where she’ll be six months from now.

On the Saturday before the New Year, we took my mom to the movies with us. We were late getting to the movie and so had to sit in front.  “Life of Pi” is NOT a comedy – unless maybe one is watching it with another who has dementia.

          I sat between my mom and Jenna.  Jenna rattled on about the movie and animals and explained things in detail (as though I wasn’t sitting there watching it myself) and my mom would make these off-the-wall comments that made me laugh.

          Mom’s memory right now doesn’t allow her to retain what she has watched from scene to scene. I don’t know if she remembered why the pair was in the water.  But she did ask,   “Why doesn’t he just throw the tiger out of the boat?”

          “The tiger is too big.  He can’t just throw it out.”

          “Well, if it was me, I would just shoot him with a gun.”

          I start to laugh.  How does one obtain a gun if marooned in the ocean?  He hadn’t chosen to be stranded out there. And then the very idea of my mom with a gun is laughable.  We had found one in her mother’s apartment several years ago (before I had met Roland) and treated it as though it was a dead mouse.

          I took Jenna to the library on Monday afternoon.  The auditorium had been set up with plastic water bottles, streamers, paper plates, beads, and icicles.  Children were encouraged to make noise maker (shakers) and party hats to welcome in the “new year” – which wouldn’t officially start until twelve hours after the celebration. 

They played a few games – including “hot potato” and “Simon says” before the “New Year’s” countdown. It was cute watching the children countdown to noon with all the enthusiasm of it being midnight.

Jenna enjoyed herself.  What she seemed to enjoy the most was being in the company of a friend from Church.  His mom invited Jenna to do a family home evening with them later on.  And so Jenna went over to her friend’s house for pizza and a lesson on setting goals.  I think there was another celebration to welcome in the New Year.  She was home before 9:00.

Roland and I started in on the pizza while she was gone.  No new year’s snacks this year.  But it was typical of my new year’s holiday – boring. 

Bill had talked to Roland about meeting at my mom’s house.  He called when Jenna was gone.  But Roland wanted just a quiet evening at home. Unlike last year, Jenna made it until after midnight.  She could have probably kept on going if I hadn’t wanted to go to bed myself.  I was tired.

So on New Year’s Day itself we met Kayla and Bill at my mom’s house.  We played a few games.  Not much.  The kids were getting restless.  We all left to return to our homes about the same time.

Corey called shortly thereafter.  First he talked to mom and asked what she’d been doing.  She remembered that all of us were there, but she also informed Corey that we had gone for a hike.  Really?

Corey then called me to get the truth of the story.  It’s been less than 40 degrees outside.  Like I’d really take my mom and the babies out in 40 degree weather.  Like Roland and I are even in shape to go hiking. 

It’s been a tiring year.  I hope our families may be less stressed in 2013.

Collector Items or Drinking Glasses?

          I know there are people who collect – perhaps I don’t know avid collectors, but I do know some people who collect certain things.

          Take Corey, for instance.  My brother has always been a BIG Star Wars fan.  He started his collection perhaps before he even saw the movie.  He had action figures, and the Mellenium Falcon, perhaps the Terrain Armored Transport Vehicle and that ugly animal thing – but I don’t know.  I must admit that I am NOT a Star Wars geek – nor do I actually know the Star Wars terminology as I actually had to Google the names of the transportation products as I really wasn’t sure (Corey would be appauled)

          Roland’s passion is Superman comic books – something he had collected and the boys’ mother threw out.  She didn’t know.

          I must admit I’ve had several collections myself.  DID HAVE.  When times got tough I had forced myself to spend my coins at face value.  Just because I collect them doesn’t mean my children will want to continue and then whatever I saved may not be worth anything later on down the road – which was my initial intent.  To have a material possession worth financial value.

          Corey’s collection has nothing to do with financial gain.  He truly loves Star Wars – and avid Star War fans LOVE to look at his collection – though much remains in the original packaging.  He’s never played any games or has viewed his calendar.  Actually, it’s kind of hurtful that he doesn’t spend time really enjoying some of the things he has – well, at least at the time they were given.

          I have no problem with seeing the Pez Dispensers left in the box.  If it weren’t for the cool dispensers I often wonder if Pez would even be able to sell their candy as I don’t find the candy itself to be that great.  Tolerable at best.  But does anybody in this world actually have a craving for pez candy?  I mean, really.  They’re not that great.

          On Christmas day Roland opened a set of collector glasses featuring four characters from Star Trek – which he decided to use as drinking glasses and if they broke – oh, well – at least they were enjoyed.  I’m afraid Captain Kirk did not make it to the New Year as he crashed to the floor and Scottie (or any of us) was able to beam him back to restoration. 

          Over the years I’ve learned that I would rather enjoy a gift than leave it sitting in a box.  It’s not like I’m going to be around to “collect” and with today’s economy . . . I can’t see my children hanging onto it. 

          I think Roland had the right idea – even though we had to say good-bye to Captain Kirk.  When I told Roland, he misunderstood and thought the real William Shatner had actually passed away.  Funny.

Here's a Blast From the Past

          Happy New Year!

Thirteen Years Ago Today

          It was 13 years ago today when I first met Roland.  Oh, I had seen him before.  He was in my mom’s ward (church boundary) for a brief period of time.

          He always sat with his arms stretched out on the pew and around each of his boys that were seated next to him on either side.  He also had a big ol’ smile plastered on his face.  There was something about him that appealed to me.  His smile perhaps.  The genuine love that he had for his boys.

          On December 31, 2000, I saw him in the foyer of the church.  He was wearing a tie with a large picture of the Tasmanian devil printed on it.

          “Nice tie,” I said.  I don’t know if I actually used the word “nice” – I’m really not that big of a Looney-Tune fan, but I did want to get his attention.  “A gift from your boys?”

          There was a loud smile on Roland’s face – because something told him that I would be his next wife.  Fortunately he did not share that with me at the time.  I don’t think I would have gone out with him otherwise. 

          He didn’t actually answer my question about the tie.  Mr. Smooth wanted to know where I sat and kept his arm around me the entire time. (I suppose that should have been a clue)

          He asked me to “First Night” an event that takes place downtown – to welcome in the New Year.  He said it would just be him and me and that he’d leave the boys at home.

          I told him NOT to leave the boys at home.  My family has played games on New Years for as long as I remember.  I told him to leave the boys at my mom’s house and play games with my family.  None of us knew that the boys would be a part of the family before the end of 2001 – except for maybe Roland.

          So the boys sat with their “cousins” apparently in order of birth – they certainly hadn’t planned it that way, but mom looked over and said they were seated Biff (13) Tony (12) Ellen (11) Randy (10) and Kimball (9)

          Our engagement happened fast – too fast in my opinion.  I had come home sick and instructed Corey that I was not to be disturbed, but he made an exception for Roland whom I really didn’t know but was comfortable with – although I didn’t know why.  I had dismissed guys less forward than Roland for being TOO forward.  And yet here was Roland who surprisingly didn’t ask me to marry him at First Night.

          He wanted my opinion about two things.  He held out some job applications and told me the pros and cons for each one and asked what job I thought he should take.  Really?  What advice could I possibly give him? 

          The reason he valued my opinion is because there was a second matter.  Would I marry him?  That is why he wanted my input about the job.  “No, no, no, no,” is what I thought in my head.  “I don’t even know this guy”

          I had had a dream the night before.  “The Lord is testing me,” I thought.  He had tested so many others in the Bible – Abraham, Sarah, Ester, Ruth, the widow that Elijah meets up with in 1 Kings 17:10. 

          I did NOT KNOW Roland.  How could I possibly marry someone I did not know – not really?  It was an act of faith.  I had convinced myself that just because I had said “Yes” to his proposal did not mean I couldn’t change my mind later on.

          I didn’t change my mind.  We were married two days before the planes crashed into the world trade center.  I thought the world had come to an end.  I suppose for many it did.  Economically we have not climbed out of it.  We have struggled most of our married lives.  There have been a large number of us who have struggled.  The mountain has become rougher.  We really need to assist one another to the top.

          It’s been a hard climb.  But I have learned to love Roland tremendously.  He always tells me how blessed he is to have me in his life.  But you know what?  I am the one who has been blessed.

          I’m grateful to Roland.  Perhaps one day I will be grateful for the struggles.  I’d be lying if I were to post that right now.  I know struggles are for my own good, they help me to grow . . . blah, blah, blah.  Honestly, at this point in time, I think struggles suck big time – even more than a powerful vacuum cleaner.

Dragged Decorations or Did I Just Vacuum Up Pixie Dust?

         Each Saturday this month we've gone to clean the Church. The primary and youth were assigned to clean last week.  Not a lot of participation – especially from the youth (Jenna was the only one from primary and only one youth leader) and the floor was in need of major vacuuming.

          The mess I mention in this post was confined to just one room – while it appeared that either decorations had been dragged across each room and the halls in the Church or else a naughty elf went around pouring sparkling dust. 

          There are three wards which share the building.  One in particular seems to get blamed for any mess that may be left – though I did find evidence of their ward in March when I went in to vacuum all that popcorn.  They just seem to use more in the way of decorations, party more, and have the reputation of not cleaning up.

          We usually get a lot of support on Saturday mornings.  We show up at 8:00 and have the entire building cleaned long before 9:00 am.  But not today.  We were there for the entire hour.  In that time I did only four rooms.  And the vacuume was actually working.  But, oh, my.  The entire building?

          Actually, I don’t know if there were any sparkles in the chapel.  The chapel is always done by the same person who takes charge with his vacumme and has never let himself get trapped into another assignment.  I understand.  That was my baby when we lived in our last house.

          I don’t just understand why glittery specks appeared in every room though.  But the trees in the foyer looked quite naked.  Perhaps they had been fully decorated last week but dragged around until bare all over the building.  That'll be my conclusion.  Dragged throughout the building by some naughty elf (or children)

LaTiesha Cannon: Part Time Detective (LOL)

About four months ago I posted this about my hang-ups with facebook.  One commenter lovingly chastised me by sharing what she LIKES about facebook.

I must admit, since then, I have checked it more often.  One reason is because of mom’s health and trying to keep all of those involved with her health care on the same page, one member created a private site for us to each update and view.  I notice we’re still not always on the same page however.

Facebook also gives one the opportunity to find acquaintances from the past and possibly make a connection. Google can do that, too.  But not resources apply – or are personalized in the same way in which some face users allow.  And so the story unfolds:

Erin, Fran, mom and Sally were friends in San Francisco.  The first three all ended up in Utah after they were married. 

Recently I had lunch with Fran and my mom.  Fran asked mom if she still heard from Erin.  She used to send Christmas cards out each year. Turned out that neither one of them had remembered hearing from their long time friend since she remarried.  They wondered whatever became of their friend Erin.

I remembered seeing the announcement several years ago – though I don’t recall her new last name.  Nor do I recall the first name of the groom. The last time I had seen her was a long while prior to that – at her husband’s funeral. 

She had five daughters.  Of course there was the brief introduction to all five at the funeral.  Before that I had met only three of them – Addison, Diane and Heidi.  Heidi was only three at the time.

Out of the blue, I typed in each of their names on facebook.  Heidi’s name was the only one that came up under her maiden name.  It could be her (Like I would really remember what she looks like) but I do know the name of the high school she attended.  I noticed several of her “friends” had her mother’s maiden name.  Surely, it had to be her.  But would she be willing to read a message from a stranger?  I didn’t believe that my name would even mean anything to her.

I sent the same message to one of Heidi’s sisters (whom I discovered on Heidi’s profile) and one to someone I supposed to be Erin’s brother – but I don’t know.  I let a few weeks pass before I figured out that my messages had been typed in vain.  (Facebook now monitors all messages and it appears that unless you are in the friends’ circle or at least maybe friends with someone who is, the message won’t appear in the box of the receiver – so really, what is the point of giving us that option?)

After two weeks, I once again attempted to find more current info for Erin.  I found her late husband’s obituary.  Oh, that would be helpful.  I learned the married names of four of her daughters (though it appears that Heidi has been remarried since then) and realized that I’d been spelling Addison’s name incorrectly. 

I found her on facebook and requested a friendship (not that I’m really requesting a friendship but she may not get my typed message otherwise; fb actually used to give that option when one made a friend request) and also learned of her current city and where she works and looked them up in the phone directory and learned that there is an Erin who is staying in the same household. 

Erin K. Brimley.  That could be her most recent married name.  I can’t remember.  She may be in a situation similar to mom’s and Addison is taking care of her.  I don’t know.  I may never know.  I did send a Christmas card to the address I found.

I passed what information I did have onto Fran.  I don’t know what may result from it.  But at least it’s there.  And perhaps, down the road, we may have more.   Hopefully it’s been a bit helpful for Fran.  It’s gotten me excited.

Broken Traditions, Grafting Branches

We didn’t do our annual Christmas dinner last year (the one with mom and her children) – at least not with the same dishes we usually prepare.  We gathered at my one brother’s house and had soup and bread.  It was simple.  We played games and exchanged gifts.

This year we didn’t even do a dinner. Each sib went his separate way.  We weren’t together for Christmas Eve or Christmas – not all four of us. 

Corey had gone back to Las Vegas to be with his sweetheart and to register as a permanent residence of Las Vegas.

Sunny and her youngest had run by mom’s house to drop off some gifts.  They were just in and out.

Kayla and Bill had planned to visit with both families on Christmas Eve – but as we weren’t getting together as siblings, they chose to stop by mom’s on the way to spending Christmas Eve with his family.  And Roland, Jenna, Biff and I stayed with mom for four hours after everyone else had left.  Well, almost everyone.

As it turned out, Nate and Ellen never left my mom’s house as Ellen had been sick all morning.  Both Kayla and I guessed pregnancy.  Neither Nate nor my mom would believe it was even a possibility.

We didn’t draw names this year.  It was a gift to ourselves to not have to worry about spending money we don’t have or creating gifts that might not work . . .  

Randy and Carrie stopped by yesterday morning to exchange gifts.  We watched a movie.  Randy and Carrie then took Biff with them to Christmas brunch with her family.

Roland and I returned to mom’s on Christmas day.  She had had breakfast with Patrick’s family, but Ellen had brought her back.  We met Bill and Kayla there and exchanged gifts among the kids.  Mom also opened her present from Corey and Joh – and the unwrapping of gifts came to a halt until the frame and pictures they had given her were hung.

We all played games for about six hours and went home.  Had to explain to mom what needed to be done each round – but she played all of the games we did.  Jenna played most of them – and we talked her into watching “A Christmas Story” for the first time.

I understand that Tony had a less than perfect Christmas.  He spent it at the park dog-sitting while his wife and daughter stayed in their apartment.  Haven’t received all the details.

It wasn’t a terrible Christmas.  It was different.  Feeling kind of empty. Though I KNOW I am not alone in thinking that.  Many missing family members for many this Christmas.

 We’ve never spent the holidays with Roland’s family.  We had planned to one year, but plans changed.  I think that would be more different than missing traditions with my family this year.

Mom thanked me several times for coming.  That alone was worth it.

Merry Christmas!

                     I heard this song for the first time two weeks ago.  I thought it quite beautiful.
                                         And I think this video is very fitting for today and tomorrow
                                                                (I may not post tomorrow)

Jesus is the Light

Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
They were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"Where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"This is Heaven." declared a small boy. "We're spending Christmas at God's house."
When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
But Jesus, their Savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
Then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
Those children all flew into the arms of their King
And as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
One small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
And as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
Then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
Then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"May this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"Come now my children, let me show you around."
Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA

“Just What I’ve Always Wanted”

          Jenna rarely ever produces a long list of desired gifts for Christmas.  Usually she has her heart set on just one thing – and nothing else seems to matter.

          When Jenna was three the one and only thing she wanted was a Caillou doll.  Caillou is a cartoon character she really seemed into at the time.  I didn’t even know if any toy company made Caillou dolls.  I was guessing probably not.

          I researched but came up empty-handed, but didn’t want to disappoint her.  It was the ONLY thing she had asked for. As a last resort I made two paper dolls and included three sets of clothes for each doll hoping that it would satisfy her.

          Oh, I am so grateful to have captured as many memories on my camcorder (the old kind that took cassette tapes that probably isn’t even made anymore) of her as she opened each gift and would exclaim as she opened each gift,

“Candyland! (or whatever the gift happened to be) Just what I’ve always wanted!” 

It was so joyous for me to see her pleasant gratitude and happiness for each gift.  And she loved every one of them just as much as the two paper dolls.

This year it was an alarm clock. I can’t imagine why an eight year old believes she needs an alarm clock.  Santa will deliver it to her via Las Vegas.

Jenna's Gumdrop Tree

          Jenna had made a gumdrop ornament in preschool one year.  We’ve had it for four or five Christmases now.  The neighbor asked if he could eat it.

          “The candy is really old.  It probably doesn’t taste good.  And it may make you sick either way.”

          He had invited himself to decorate or tree.  I thought that was presumptuous of him.  But it was dark.  I couldn’t see well.  Roland had gone into the other room.  And so I left Jenna and Trume to decorate (they actually were better at spreading out the ornaments than Ooki had been with his first tree).

          Before he returned home, I gave him a small tree that we had put in Jenna’s room last year.            I had confiscated the gumdrop ball and put it on the tree the next day when I could actually see what I was doing.

          After a week I noticed that the small tree had been returned.  I also noticed the gumdrop ball had been ripped apart as there were gumdrops and toothpicks all over the table.  I was upset not because of the ornament itself, but the possibility that someone had eaten these stale gumdrops.  Jenna claims she doesn’t even like spice gumdrops.  Why would she do that?

          I didn’t realize that the gumdrops had been used to decorate the smaller tree.  And actually they do look nice – but they don’t seem to stay.   It was a cute idea.  She said they looked like Christmas lights.  Her creativity made me smile.

We no longer have the gumdrop ball ornament.  After Christmas, the pulled off gumdrops will also be trashed.   

Thank you AsianCookingmadeEasy

I have to post this because I am so major proud of my most recent accomplishment.  I just cooked my first turkey ever.  Almost 20 pounds!  And I wasn’t even chopped.  Roland gave me his seal of approval. 

Roland is the one who normally cooks.  He was planning on doing it when he returned home.  But I figured he’d be hungry when he got home and wanted to surprise him – though it wasn’t actually done until about an hour and a half after his return.  But it is two and a half to three hours earlier than it would have been if he had cooked.

Wow.  I cooked a turkey.  And it was good.  Thank you AsianCookingmadeEasy.