Day 11 slowly recovering still

After two weeks of not working, I returned to work yesterday – though it was for only half a day.  I prayed that I would be able to get through the day.  My cough had died down.  Still, I had to change my pants before I had even left the house. 

       I left the house early to stop by a thrift store as there is a game I would like to get for Jenna – a specific game that I still have not seen and may have to order online.  While there, I looked at dresses and found a light jumper that I thought I could wear. 

       I had planned on putting keys in my pocket and hooking the walkie-talkie through one of the belt loops but while at the thrift store, I realized that the pants I had changed into did not have pockets.  Frustrating.  I returned home for a lanyard in which I could hang the keys and the walkie-talkie.  Only by the time I returned home, I decided it was warm enough that I could change into my brand new dress (which I hadn’t realized was on discount and spent only 2.25) and so had changed for a third time.

       Once again I prayed that I would make it for the next three hours without prior problems that I’ve experienced for over a week.  I’m happy to say that I was able to make it through the rest of the day without much inconvenience.  I was needed to help with lunch, but think I could have returned home right after recess as I really did not feel useful for the most part.  I do prefer mornings to afternoons.

       I was supposed to meet up with some friends at 4:00 but my mind got loopy and I know I wouldn’t have been pleasant company.  As I think about it, it was a good idea not to have put myself on the road in my condition.  I am bummed that I didn’t get to see my friends. But I did end up spending just a bit of quality time with Roland - whose mind has seemed elsewhere lately also.

       Tried a new sleep routine.  I have failed miserably. I just haven’t been able to get comfortable.  In addition to my soar rear and legs, I also have a major headache – well, major for me.  It may be minimal for those who experience headaches more routinely than I.  I suppose I’ll be napping later on today.  I really am sleepy.  I hope this crazy weather didn't push me back to where I started. Dang it all!

Too Much or Not Enough

I find it interesting that the topic of my last class focused on Medicare and social security.  The topic of my current class has been the brain, stress and this week’s topic on sleep disorders – which I have had my entire life.  Thus I’m making discoveries.  I am also getting the feeling that I need to put my affairs in order and start throwing away mountains of stuff so that Roland and Jenna won’t have to do it in the event I leave this earth.

          I’m not saying that death is around the corner.  It just feels like it in some ways.  Perhaps it’s just the side effects of still trying to heal from bronchitis and still coughing and not breathing right.  I was told at the doctor’s office that my breathing was off.  I don’t think it’s the bronchitis that’s to blame.  My breathing has always been off.  I think more off as I age.  My pipes are small and seem to shrink with each passing year.  No, I don’t have anything to back that up.  Just theory.

          I’ve been reading past memories of mom and dad and their good health somehow shattered.  Dad’s was physical and mom’s was mental.  I think I have a little bit of each going for me right now.  My sleep patterns are horrible.  But they have always been horrible.  Mom said after she gave birth to me, I was always asleep when I was in the hospital.  She said she never saw me awake until she got me home.  I was her first child.  She didn’t know what to expect but thought I ought to be sleeping more than I did.  She said it was as though I had slept in the hospital enough to get me through the next five years. 

          Patrick was the opposite.  He slept the normal hours a baby should.  Mom said he had weird breathing patterns though – or maybe it was just paranoia on her part.  After all, she had dealt with a non-sleeping child for two years before Patrick came along and slept beautifully, but she would have a hard time falling asleep because she wasn’t used to a sleeping baby and would place her hand on top of him to make sure he was still breathing.

         

          I don’t know when I started sleeping in an upright position.  I do sleep better than when I am trying to lay flat.  I still snore though, but perhaps not as loudly.  I don’t know if anyone else in my family snores.  It’s a wonder that any of my family were able to sleep with me in the house.  Though I’ve never heard myself, I understand that I am loud.

          For the most part, whenever I have drifted off in a recliner, I will wake up in the same position in which I fell asleep.  If I try sleeping in bed, I am all over the place along with the sheets and whatever other bedding started out near me.  I rarely ever have blankets on.  Sometimes I may use just one.  But I am usually too hot.

          My feet and ears get cold and I will wear slippers and sometimes a hat or headband.  I usually remove the headwear long before I wake up. 

          This week, as part of my assignment, I am supposed to turn in a sleep schedule which I have yet to create and stick with.  Especially since the bronchitis and antibiotics and cough and phlegm.  I get worn out so easily.  A trip to the mailbox does me in.  I have taken more naps in the last two weeks than I have ever taken in my entire life.  Perhaps it’s wrong to call them naps as I often sleep longer than I do through the night.

          I think the weather may upset my sleeping also.  And I don’t think it would matter where in the country or probably even the entire planet right now.  The weather has been experiencing some violent mood swings.  I like the weather right now.  I want to be a part of it.  I want it to stay where it is.  I don’t want it to warm up again.

Dash # 10: hobbies

       I loved creating things.  I would often get kits for gifts and I would go to town making latch punch rugs, polished rocks, turntable paintings, and potholders to name a few.  One of my favorite things was designing bands from really small beads. 

       I don’t know how old I was when I joined a handcraft club that would send out kits of parts and instructions on how to piece them together.  Usually, I would give them away as gifts.

       Now it’s Jenna who likes to keep her hands busy.  She enjoys crafts as I once did.

New Phobia Word I Learned

 

Last week I sat with my instructor for the final discussion.  I have been the only student turn out for each live lecture.  I learned a new word I thought I would share this week.   The word is Thanatophobia.  I don’t have it, but I know some people do.  It’s death anxiety.  My instructor said that the older a person is, the less likely he/she will have thanatophobia. I also believe that is true.

As I have mentioned before, I hang with a group of friends once a month or so.  Two are in their 70’s.  One is 65 and I am the baby of the group.  Death has been a topic as we have all seen friends pass.  The 65-year-old has a hard time dealing with the idea of death.  She may have thanatophobia.  I will mention it to her the next time we converse about the death subject. 

Day Five

         Today I took my last of the antibiotic that had been issued Monday.  And I do feel better.  Possibly up to 80%, but I am weak still.  A jaunt out to the mailbox has worn me out.  I have not had much exercise.  Each time I move just an inch (NOT an exaggeration) I end up coughing uncontrollably.  Never in my life have I gone through so many tissues, rolls of toilet paper and bladder pads in such a short time.  I hope to never have to experience this again. 

           I am grateful that neither Roland nor Jenna has had to endure the same physical pain.  Roland has had a cough and phlegm, but nothing close to where I’ve been.  Jenna has managed to dodge this all together.  Hopefully, it will remain that way.  I think I was sick enough to account for all three of us.

I had been scheduled to work four days this week but ended up not working at all.  I’m grateful to see the shifts had been picked up by another.  

As I had mentioned on Tuesday, I have started a new class this week.  I have participated in the discussion about the brain, finished my assignment on the subject of stress in the workplace (adding a bit about healthcare) and finished my assessment.  As I went over my assignment, I had reminisced about other assignments I’ve turned in and how amateurish they seem for a college level. But then again, I have only six days or less to find references, come up with ideas, and piece it all together so that my words flow smoothly.  And let’s not forget the importance of APA as it often seems to be more important than the contents.

I’ve added my personality to many assignments and used a personal situation in my life to help explain.  Last month’s topic and thus far this month are dealing with health issues with both mom and dad.  The work environment is not even close to stressful when I think about other things that I have dealt with and still continue to deal with.  Perhaps I will share my assignment after it has been graded.

I really am feeling better.  The healing process has seemed to come slowly, but I am guessing that I’m almost there.  The weather has mirrored my own conditions in some ways.  Yesterday there was wind, rain, hail – our first time seeing hail in Oregon – perhaps a little bit of sun.  I don’t really have the sun part down as far as shining.  But I have been hot – even though it has only been 52 – 60 outside.  I am grateful that it hasn’t been warmer.   

Dash # 783 Strange Food

Question:  What’s the Strangest Thing You’ve Ever Tasted?

       When I was on my mission I remember two individuals believing they could outdo each other by eating the grossest thing they could come up with.  Raw egg, entire raw onion, etc.

       I can’t remember which one of them succeeded at the onion, but his breath could be detected from across the room.  I remember when he said his good-byes that his breath made a little girl cry.

        My companion had suggested to the two of them that there was still yet another test.  Her trainer’s boyfriend had been serving a mission in Australia and had sent her a package for Christmas that included goods native to Australia.  Among those “treasures” was a small jar of something called Vegemite – which evidently is used as a spread similar to how American’s used peanut butter.  She said that she and her companion had tasted it but that is was the foulest thing that she had ever put in her mouth.  

             Without knowing anything more about it, both guys who had attempted the onion said they would be able to eat the vegemite. One had even boasted that he would eat an entire vegemite sandwich.  

Thus when we returned to our living quarters, my companion put in a phone call to her former area and asked the missionaries to forward the vegemite to our address in Ripplemead.  It arrived within a week.

The smell was horrid.  I took a very small taste just so I can say that I have truly tasted it.  Somehow that teeny taste made the entire jar smell even more pungent.  It was gross.  I did not care for it.  Neither did any other American taste bud that we had tried it on.

The one who boasted he could eat an entire sandwich said he would rather drink motor oil and did not attempt the sandwich.  Thus the bishop of that area took the sandwich and said he could eat it – which he did.  It took him an entire hour as he made certain that the only taste on his tongue was from the bread itself.

Vegemite turned out to be a really great “gag” as we had used it to play jokes on first an elder in the zone.  We had frosted several brownies with real frosting but had set two aside to cover in vegemite.  All the other elders were enjoying their brownies and he hated the very idea of forcing his brownie to go down but did not want to appear as being rude by not finishing, but laughter got the better of us.  He looked around at each of us and then at the brownies before saying, “it’s just mine, isn’t it?”

Another was when the bishop removed the cream filling from the centers of Oreo type cookies and replaced them with vegemite in order to catch a cookie thief at work.  He said that somebody had been raiding the lunch bags and stealing the desserts.  

Although he had an idea of who the culprit was, he couldn’t prove it.  Thus he took his vegemite filled cookies to work to catch the guy.  He said it was the funniest thing to watch the guy swear in disbelief that there was something wrong with the cookies – only he couldn’t report it because he had been at fault for stealing them.

Years later, when I was trying to get Jenna to stop sucking her finger, I wound a store that specialized in import goods.  I learned that they carried vegemite from Australia.  They also had a marmite from New Zealand.  As it was less costly, I settled for that.  I thought that if I put something that revolting on her finger, she would stop sucking it.  I also knew that it wasn’t going to hurt her.

Marmite backfired!  She LOVED it.  She would eat it by the spoonful.  It was many years before she stopped sucking on her finger.  I don’t remember what bribe I used to get her to stop.  Perhaps she figured it out on her own as her fingers became raw.

I Was Hoping for Urgent Care – Not U-Wait While We Care for Everybody Behind You

WARNING:  Although I do not provide all the details, some of what I’ve written provides a gross picture

      What a glorious Mothers’ Day NOT – on top of the cough and leaky bladder I was having aches and pains all over my body.  I couldn’t get comfortable whereas I could sleep for very long.  I haven’t been restless before when I am sleeping in a reclining position.  At least not that I know of.  Sheets were pulled away from the mattress.  I’d have a pillow fort beneath my feet.  If I had been given the option to die, I would have taken it.

            I’d been scheduled to work both yesterday and today, but took myself out of the subbing position and left a message with the school.  Soon after I left my message, I received a call from another aid seeing if I can work her shift.  When I returned her call and she heard my voice introduce myself, she didn’t even need to explain.  It was obvious that I was not in a position to work for anyone – and yet I had had four opportunities and ended up saying “no” to all four.  I would have worked for free with the behavior challenged youth than to feel the way I was feeling.  I would have rather gone to the dentist or another tubular pregnancy.
           
            Yesterday I called a health center claiming to provide urgent care.  I don’t know what their definition of “urgent” is, but it is definitely NOT the same as mine.  They said they had a 9:40 cancellation.  Okay, that should get me home to attend the live lecture which starts at 11:00.  WRONG!  I would have been home at 10:20 if the appointment had meant anything.

            I counted eight people come in behind me.  Eight! They would come and go. One man came in and they greeted him with “Oh, you’re early.  Your appointment is not until 11:00.”  He was still seen before me!  Crimeny!

            It may not have been so bad nor may I have complained but I was feeling so awful.  There was a sign for coughers and sneezers to please wear a mask, which I did.  Only not fully at first.  I had come in early in order to fill out the paperwork – which actually had not taken that much time.  If I covered my nose, the air would fog up my glasses and I couldn’t see.  But when the paperwork was filled out and hande in, I covered my nose in addition to my mouth.  I had meant to bring in my puzzle book - I mean what person doesn’t have to wait at the doctor’s office?  At least six of the people behind me!  They even took the only other person wearing a mask before they took me.  What gives!  I just wanted a prescription for a Z pack. Why would they not want to take the masked patients first just to send them away all that much sooner?
 

            I went to the desk to ask if I had been forgotten about – I hadn’t.  Not everybody is seen by the same doctor and apparently, I was there for a specific person and not a “next-available” situation.  I visualized Tim Conway waiting on Harvey Korman in a skit that had done on the Carol Burnett show (here).  Meanwhile, I had a wall of mucus between my face and the stupid mask.  I needed to clean myself.  After the nurse had to my weight, height, pulse, etc. I asked if I could take off my mask and clean myself up.  

        She allowed me to do so, but immediately replaced my mucus-filled mask with a fresh one.  I liked the second one better.  I did not have to wait in the patient room near as long as I had in the foyer.  The doctor – who appeared as though he has already and did move a bit quicker than Tim Conway’s character – spent all of fifteen minutes with me – if that.  I have bronchitis, wasn’t breathing correctly (that’s a given.  I think my breathing gets harder as I age;  I think I have small pipes), high pulse rate (I honestly don’t know where that had come from unless it was rage from having had to wait) and a slight fever.

            He called in a prescription for a Z pack and small pills which resembles fish eggs and it’s supposed to suppress my cough – which I suppose it’s done somewhat.  At least the cough no longer seems to connect to my bladder.  Last night my fever broke and must still be breaking as it is less than 55 degrees outside and I feel like I’m in an over.  The clothes I had on this morning have been washed along with my bedding as everything was overly damp this morning.

            My last class started yesterday, but I have not participated in any of it until today.  The subject is the psychology of the brain – or at least our focus for this week’s discussion is on the brain.  Each part of the brain has a name and a function.  Trying to absorb it all is like learning a new language.  I don’t think it’s as complicated as accounting, but by the time I get it figured out, the course will be done. 

            So I am feeling a lot better today than the last three, but still not 100%.  I hope to by tomorrow.  I have two more sub days lined up for Thursday and Friday.  I hope that I will feel up to it.  Right now I do not.  But if I progress as quickly as yesterday versus today, I will be ready to return to work on Thursday.

Sing Me To Sleep

                         

                Before it started to rain in March,

I had a dry cough. 

A very annoying

dry cough

as though I had swallowed

a hair ball and couldn’t get it

out of my system.

 Then the rains came and

gradually my cough left me. 

I was able to go on stage to

perform with the choir on Easter.  

I had forgotten that the primary had

been invited to join us. 

The song was “Gethsemane” (see here).

Our primary kids sound like angels

whenever that song is performed.

My eyes leak whenever

they’re performing. 

I was too choked up to

sing with them. 

After Easter my dry cough returned. 

Gradually it became a wet cough. 

On Tuesday I was sore from head to toe. 

Pain in my cheeks 

pain in my teeth  

terrible pain. 

I shouldn’t have gone to work

 at the school on Wednesday. 

A lot of children commented that

I sounded funny. 

I was feeling better than on Tuesday. 

The coughing and congestion are

not the worst part. 

I know there are some woman who

will relate when I mention that

the cough and bladder somehow

seem to be connected. 

Shooting out the other end

and having to change myself    

It reminds me of the many times that

I have changed baby diapers amazed

at how much the pad will hold.  But still . . .

The last couple of days

I have gone through one and a half

boxes of tissue.

I have missed the Mother’s Day brunch

which I was supposed to conduct and

take part in the program. 

I called the organizer this

morning and said

I wouldn’t be there. 

My right cheekbone feels bruised.  

I feel worse than I look. 

I hope Roland doesn’t get it this bad. 

Thus far Jenna’s been able to dodge

getting this nastiness. 

I pray that she will remain free of this. 

I think this is the worst cold

that I have ever had

in my entire life.

No More Frosting

            When Jenna was younger we used to share food.  She would eat parts that I didn’t especially like and vice-versa.  At this moment I forget all of the food except for eggs and cake.  Jenna could eat yolks only when they were scrambled with whites.  She has finally converted to hard boiled yolks.  Of course, they must be surrounded by the white part.  I can eat the whites though they are not my favorite.  I like runny yolks for dipping my toast or pancake.  I am completely grossed out by any of the white part if not completely cooked.  I would rather have an overcooked egg than an undercooked one.

            As with most kids, Jenna preferred the frosting to the cake itself.  I like to be in control of just how much frosting is going on my piece of cake.  For the most part (unless the layer is really thin) I will scrape off the frosting and so Jenna and I sharing a piece of cake was never a problem.  Jenna would always accuse me of being nuts as “the frosting is the only part worth eating”.

            Although cake is not her preferred method of dessert, she has learned that the cake itself. She says the frosting is too sweet and prefers her cakes without it.  I never thought I’d live to see the day.

Dash #3 Goals

        My goals are to finish up my last two classes so that I can graduate on June 1.  I was asked to participate in a Verizon hotspot for Internet service and report the hours that I use for school.  I’m supposed to record three months worth but will have to send it back in two months as that is all the time I have left.  Since it is the school paying for the service, I don’t guess it would do any good to keep it.  I don’t think  I am that great of a candidate as there has been only one time I have been away from the house and needed WiFi for school – that was the last week of February.  I would have not had my laptop in Roseburg but how impressive it would have been if I had been able to get Internet power when it wasn’t available in Myrtle Creek.

        So one of my goals is to help out the school by recording what is required.  Doesn’t seem like too bad of a deal to me.  

Homograph word: Roll

A role is a position in society or the part that a performer is given for a play.  Role is a homonym to roll which has several meanings. I've come up with 25 sentences though there are only six definitions.  See if you can figure them out.

1.       I may take roll or attendance to find out who is present or absent from a meeting or class.

2.       I may purchase a roll of duct tape which in turn may roll across the floor.

3.       When I eat my spaghetti dinner, I may want a roll to eat with my meal.

4.       I may use the roll as a measure in money, fabric, or toilet paper.

5.       I may roll up a newspaper for an easier toss.

6.       I may roll out the red carpet for a special occasion.

7.       I may teach my dog how to roll over.

8.       I can roll the windows up or down in my car.  The windows in my house don't roll.

9.       Roland will roll out dough for biscuits, sugar cookies and pie crusts.

10.     You may be rolling your eyes and wonder if we have both wasted our time.

11.     Many of the younger generation who use digital cameras may have never purchased a roll of film.

12.     They may not have the opportunity of seeing an old film projector nor understand the concept of film being rolled from one reel or spool to another.

.

13.     You may wish to purchase a sweet roll or a cinnamon roll.

14.     To "roll off one's back" means to not let bothersome things affect you or get you down.  Jenna and Roland have the gift of letting things roll off their backs.

15.     We've had apples roll down the hill before. Our neighbor's tree overlaps into our yard.

16.     The phrase "ready to roll" means to prepare to take action.  I don't know the origin of it, but I imagine that wheels were involved - like a method of transportation.  I am ready to roll or "wheel" away.

17.  To "roll over in one's grave" implies that a deceased one would be so upset by an outcome that might make another uncomfortable.  "Uncle Bobby would roll over in his grave if he knew what you did with his inheritance money!"  is an exaggeration of the truth. Nobody is able to roll over in a grave on his/her own.  There isn't that much room in the casket anyway.

18.     I try to roll my can out to the curb each Tuesday night as it will be picked up on Wednesday morning.

19.     To "roll with the punches" means I will endure a temporary setback.  This term comes from a reaction to positioning oneself in boxing.  Roland and Jenna are also great at rolling with the punches.

20.     Tears may roll down my face.

21.     I can roll up a sleeping bag or bedroll for camp.

22.     The phrase "roll of one's tongue" means it is easy to say or pronounce. Jenna can make the word "Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia" roll off the tongue as though it is as common as "the" and "she".

23.     I can fill tortillas with a spicy meat mixture and roll them up into an enchilada.

 24.    When Jenna was a baby, she would roll from her stomach to her back and then cry because she didn't like being on her back.  She wanted to be on her stomach.

 25.    I wonder how many rolls of tickets the seniors go through during free movie day?

Will You Hand Me Some Tissues, Please?

                This is my third week taking my class called “Sociology of Ageism”.  It’s been an interesting class, but I have been on an emotional roller coaster with the topics this week.  Our discussion is on assisted living and long term health care and thus I’ve been reminiscing on what health care I would have liked for my mom versus what was settled for due to the expense.

                I was in tears during the lecture as more triggers reintroduced me to some painful times during my mother’s final years and how it affected each family member not only with my mom but with one another.  Whenever my instructor asked a question, I would provide an answer in lengthy detail to share the gist of what was felt – but not everything I felt.  It wasn’t until after class that I posted a second discussion for any who happen to watch the recording.  I shared three blog post links with explanations. 

The first one that I shared was the very first post my niece had written for her blog.  She explains how she and her husband (a newlywed couple) moved in with my mom and the trials they endured.  I share a post my brother had created about the tension that had been created among my mom’s caregivers (that would be her children and grandchildren) though it is a lengthy post which I forewarned the class about.  I also threw in one of my own just to add some humor.  Three different links: sweet, depressing and perhaps a quick smile.

I am now working on my assignment for financial resources for the elderly.  We are supposed to focus on Medicare as part of the assignment.  I am learning some things but I have not been able to keep my emotions out of it for the most part.  Next week will be the last week of this class.  The time has flown.