Changing Traditions

            We had a great Christmas the year that Jenna had turned one.  That was the year we had spent opening gifts ALL DAY - something I had wanted to do for such a long time, but not everybody else was always in favor of doing that - at least at the same time.  We hadn't planned on doing it that year either.  It just happened to work out that way.  It was awesome!

            We had Roland's two other girls.  They had stayed over Christmas Eve night.  Christmas morning for all of us - not just certain siblings.  They were all there.  The girls had even brought with them four gifts for all of us.  The ward had done a sub-for-Santa that year and had included the girls.  We were loaded down with gifts - lots of them!  And we had scheduled ourselves to feed a brunch to the missionaries at 11:00.

            I don't remember how early we started to open the gifts.  We explained to the girls that we opened our gifts only one at a time so that we could all watch.  Pamprin wanted Tony to unwrap all of his gifts first . . . he did open one from Santa at her request.  But with eight of us opening gifts in turn, and Jenna still unsure about what to do with the gifts, it definitely took longer than I recall ever having had done on Christmas.  I knew that we had to start preparing the food, and so told whoever was playing Santa Clause that all gifts that were opened had to have Frances and Pamprin's name on them (whether to or from) so that we could enjoy our gifts from one another with them.

            I think there were one or two gifts left (that were either to or from the girls) when the missionaries arrived.  We had made up stockings for the missionaries: Elder Ma'Alona, Elder Anderson and the one we called "Elder Third Wheel" who'd be going home at the upcoming transfer.  Elder Ma'Alona had brought gifts also.  One was a box of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts.  I don't know if any of the girls got any of them or not.  Our plan was to leave right after breakfast.   

          Meanwhile, Jenna had finally gotten the hang of opening gifts and opened a present from the girls to their brothers.  After breakfast, Roland returned the girls to their mom and met the rest of us at my mom's house.  We had gone to meet my sibs and their families and exchange gifts.

            We opened presents one at a time.  We weren't at the point of drawing names yet and so it took a while to open them all.  And then we played games.  We got home just after 8:00 and opened the remaining gifts beneath our tree.  That was really so awesome, milking out the opening of gifts.  I don't know if it was actually my favorite part of Christmas or not - but did come close.

            I wanted to do something like that this year.  Because Christmas was on a Sunday this year, it was going to add a reverence to the day that isn't a part of our routine each year.  Bill and Kayla were wise and had Santa visit the kids a day early so that the presents would be opened on Saturday rather than Sunday. I asked if we could wait until after Church to open gifts  I thought that going to Sacrament meeting would add a deliciousness that I didn't want to end.  I also wanted to read or share thoughts between each present - but as Jenna and I had these stupid coughs this holiday season, I eliminated that.

            Roland suggested that we could each open just one gift before Church started.  But Jenna felt that maybe just the stockings would be enough.  They may have been if we had started later.  Jenna's excitement got her up at 2:00 am.  I sent her back to bed, but it did not work out well for her.  She ended up curled in the big chair.  I think Roland was up at 5:00  and so we watched her open the gifts that were wrapped in her stocking.

            We stopped to eat breakfast and I suggested that perhaps we could open the gifts that our sons and families had sent.  That way if they called just after we returned home, we could thank them for the specifics.  Each of them seemed to understand our love of games as all were game themed including the minions that Jenna had received from Tony's two girls. 

Christmas was great!

            The thing that I have been most grateful for this Christmas season has been Jenna's positive attitude - despite the way we both felt, despite having family so far away, she made the best of it.  She has been amazing!  I wish I had drummed up the same enthusiasm.  I did things with her just so her flame wouldn't die, but I really didn't do it with the same amount of energy; I wasn't even able to fake it.

            For example, she wanted to deliver cookies to the neighbors on Christmas Eve.  I would have liked it better if Roland had gone with her.  But even he seemed quite uptight for Roland - I suppose because his two girls were sick and perhaps he felt helpless.  He watched a lot of TV by himself.

            Anyway, I had gone with her, but lost my breath.  When we returned to the house, I went into the bathroom and spent an hour on the floor crying.  Jenna dismissed herself to go to bed at 8:00. Roland and I put the rest of the gifts out and filled the stockings before 9:00 pm.  I don't recall ever having put out gifts that early before.

Christmas Thoughts are Coming

On Christmas day I jotted some notes down, which I had planned to turn into posts.  I think I have seven thus far - perhaps only five.  But they still don't flow as I would like them to.  And it is more important that I spend time with Jenna than to post anything.  I can't believe it's this late and she is still in bed.  Usually she's at least stirring.

Oh, she's up.  She and Roland are making breakfast.  I should be getting dressed.  Perhaps after Jenna returns to school I will post again.

out the door and on our way to Church

Merry Christmas Everybody

Please Don't Buy Me a Tablet

          Roland asked me what I thought about getting a tablet for Jenna for Christmas.

          "Do you not even know your child at all?" I wanted to scream at him.  Even if we could afford it, giving a tablet to Jenna would be offensive.  She would interpret the gift to mean: "We don't have time for you.  Here's an electronic device to tie you over" though I'm certain the tables have been turned for some parents.

          Jenna and I would like to get rid of the TV.  We watch it because it's there, but she would be a zillion times happier if it wasn't there.  And actually, it's not even on that much.  When Roland gets off work, he likes to relax in front of the boob tube - even if it means vegetating in front of a program that doesn't offer material worth watching for either me or Jenna.  And I'm okay if Roland wants to watch the tube by himself.  But why do I have to be there?  What a waste of time.

          Jenna and I had already discussed the matter, but when a gift card came our way, Roland brought it up again.  Instead of being subtle with Jenna, I was more direct by flat out saying what the conversation had been.  With tears in her eyes she begged, "I don't want you guys to get me a tablet"

          "Hey!  There is no 'you guys' here.  It's just dad.  I don't want to get you a tablet.  If you ever do get a tablet, keep in mind that it will be from him.  JUST him.  I will never sign a gift tag for a tablet.  Make sure you understand that."

          She wrote the following letter to Santa:

Dear Santa,

          For Christmas I would like for my parents to get rid of the TV.  We would be able to save money and mom and dad can spend more time with me.  I would also like the libraries not to close.  It would benefit lots of people.  And another thing is I want more people to believe in you.  I also want to see my brothers.  Okay.  That's all  Hope you have a good Christmas.

                   - [Jenna]

Mad Libs Christmas card

       Jenna and I were just about to pull out of the driveway when she noticed the mail truck come.  She dashed across the street to pick up the mail and I drove into the street and pulled up near the mailbox.  There was a package from Aunt Julie and two cards from the university: one for me and one for Roland.

       Jenna was excited about the cards as they included a MadLib - which she was more than anxious to fill out.  

 She wrote apple, school, marbles, Taylor Swift, chair, mesmerizing, paper, table, comedy, mom, enchanting, soda, chips, grapes, shoe, lawn mower, running, bottle caps and singing.

       There were ten sentences.  Half came out humorous.  At least I thought they did.  I will include my own comments after the sentences which I thought were funny.

How do YOU celebrate the holidays?

Purchase an apple and place it in your house, displaying it promptly for all to see.

"Oh, we didn't put up a tree this year, but come inside and take a look at my apple"

Decorate your school by hanging marbles from it.

"Hey, there are actually some very pretty marbles made . . . I don't know how well they'd be seen however . . . even the larger marbles would look lost hanging from a school"

Sit on Taylor Swift's chair and take a picture.

With a nice, mesmerizing paper in your fireplace, sit down on the table and watch you favorite comedy movie with mom.

Drink an enchanting cup of soda.

Bake chips and decorate them with grapes because we all know how festive grapes look on chips

Donate an new shoe to somebody less fortunate  "it's the thought that counts, right.  Does this less fortunate soul really need an entire pair?  The one shoe donated is NEW after all."

Take a drive and admire your neighbor's lawnmower.  "Forget the Christmas decorations - Doesn't that Lawn Mower beat all?"

Go door to door and running your favorite bottle caps

Go singing in the snow

Letter to Jesus

          The first December that I had my blog, I created this post which explains our letters to Jesus.  After a while, I added my thoughts to a journal I take out with the decorations each Christmas season.  The journal had been given to my mom.  I don't even know who it was from - I'm assuming it was left at Christmas time as I recently came across an unsigned Christmas Tag.  Someone had written: "use for personal journal, diaries, notes, recipe, addresses and more."  It was still blank when I retrieved it.  

 I started journaling in 2013.  As I was reading through some of it this year, I came across the letter I had written to Jesus.

                                                Christmas 2013  

                         

Dear Jesus,

       There is so much on my mind, I hope that I am able to express it all.  I wrote a few things on my blog - though not with the full amount of detail.  I would like to express. We have been so blessed this year.  And yet there have been times when I've overlooked those blessings - for that I apologize.

       The blessings have poured out all year, but became more obvious to me in September when so many family and friends rallied around us and mom - who was very much alive and spirited during the summer. Thou had sent her an angel named Harold.  He befriended mom and she finally accepted Alta Ridge as her home.  She was so happy - a far cry from where she was when we had brought her there to live.

      

       We had a family party in August.  Mom did a tremendous amount of visiting.  She truly was excited to see everyone and had rattled on endlessly about how and what she was doing.  A week later she was sent to the hospital and Thou prepared all of us to send her home to Thee.  It's true that we didn't wish to see her go - nor did we wish to see her mind deteriorate to a state of non-recognition to vegetation.  We are blessed with happy final memories of her as she stubbornly made her transition to return to Thee.

       We have all been blessed to be there and to support one another and laugh together as we prepared for mom's departure and funeral. It was frustrating watching her hang on for so long without food or water.  But it was pleasing to see that the dementia was being lifted and that daddy was there to escort her to the other side.

       Thou blessed me with a car that pretty much ran on prayer (see here) Thank you so much for allowing me to take [Jenna] to school each morning and to go and visit mom.  I know the car had mechanical problems; I just hadn't know to what extent.

       I thank Thee for keeping the car alive as [Biff] has taken over and it is now working for him though I have still been reluctant to drive it myself (should I have the opportunity)

       Thank you for blessing my boys with wives.  It is good to see each of them so happy.  [Rochelle, Carrie] and now [Jeanie] are certainly welcome editions along with [Tony and Rochelle's] little [Ester]

       It's so good to see all of my boys so happy.  It has been a struggle for [Biff] and as [Jeanie] has also endured some hardships it is really nice to see the two of them so happy together.  And I thank thee for allowing them the opportunity to marry in the temple right away [unlike Roland and myself; see here]

       Last night was the first time in six years that  the boys were able to visit together in person - all three of them.  The first time that all three boys and all four daughters spent Christmas together.

       [Randy] surprised me, taking over a tradition that had been a part of my family.  One that had been started by my great great Aunt Lucy from what I understand.  When Aunt [Trudy] was no longer able to have the family over on Christmas Eve, mom  took over having it at her house.  And that faded out with the entire family making our social in July - though mom and my sibs have tried to remain with get-togethers during the holiday season.  And now [Randy] has started this for us and his sibs.  How amazing is that?

       The greatest thing this Christmas is having had the opportunity of feeling my mom's presence - something I ironically feel more this year than I did last year when I was with her at her house.  I thank Thee for allowing me the opportunity and for symbols.  Have a happy birthday and thank Thee for Thy example and for Thy gift of the Atonement and for all the gifts that we receive on a daily basis - even the one's that [we] don't recognize. Please help me to recognize [Thy] blessings and opportunities that I too may pay it forward.

       Love,  [LaTiesha]

A Two-Way Gift

          I don’t know how it was that we ended up at Cracker Barrell in 2011.  They have nice gifts and marvelous food, not that we could afford it.  I think we were looking for something unique to send to Roland’s family – particularly his mother.  I ended up finding something for my mother instead.

          Mom had a habit of falling asleep on the couch.  The entire time I had lived with her, she was always hot, but after her encounter with dementia, she would always seem to be cold.  I saw the cape as something she could use as a wrap.  It was a red check pattern.  Her favorite color has always been red.  I thought it would be perfect.  Kind of pricey, though.

          Kayla said she had purchased a puzzle book for her but had been searching for something to go with it.  We went halves on each gift.  We made the cape from Bill, Kayla, Roland and myself and the puzzle book from Jenna and Anna.  Kayla was quite pregnant with Gary.

          We had gone to my brother, Patrick’s, to open gifts.  Mom put on the coat after she opened it.  I never saw her wear it after that.  She said she had worn it to Church a couple of times.  But I don’t know . . .

          After we had her in assisted living, and were cleaning out her house, I had removed it from her bedroom closet at the house and put it in her closet at Alta Ridge, hoping she might wear it instead of her heavy coat while inside  (She had kept her coat on in hopes that she would make her escape from the assisted living facility)  I had written her name and room number on the tag. 

          After she passed, I retrieved it.  I haven’t worn it a lot, but have won it on occasion.  I had it on Sunday.  It is warm.  Warmer than the white coat I left behind - hoping that perhaps one of my daughters-in-law might get some use out of it.  Doesn’t appear to be the case.  But I do know my first daughter-in-law wears the coat that mom was wearing when she was at Alta Ridge. 

          In my next post I will share a letter I wrote the year that she passed away.

Ladybugs and Cupcakes

                "Some cultures believe the ladybug is a symbol of good luck.  Having a ladybug land on you can be a magical moment.  White other insects may pose as a threat to humans, animals and crops alike, ladybugs are harmless and even better: they're beneficial.  That is why so many cultures over the centuries have cherished ladybugs, believing them to bring good luck.  They are good luck to farmers" (Why Are Ladybugs Considered Good Luck?, 2016)"

                My mom and dad had purchased ornaments for their children for each year probably until dad's passing.  I still have many of the ornaments that had been given to me though there had been some that did not make it to my 18th birthday. Adding new ornaments to the tree was a tradition that I had wanted to start with my own family.  For various reasons I hadn't incorporated the tradition until 2013, the first year that each of my boys had a wife.   The first ornament that we purchased were 10 ladybugs.  

                But I wanted our ornaments to have meaning and so researched a meaningful reason for having ladybugs for our tree.  I found some reasons and wrote them down to pass onto my children  along with the ornament.  The following year we each got cupcakes.  If I had thought about it, I would have told them that the cupcake symbolizes what one might get at a birthday party and as we look at the cupcake we should think of our Savior whose birthday we celebrate.

                That was our last year in Utah.  It was the last year that each member of our family got his or her  own ornament.  The last two years we have been in Oregon and have sent one ornament per family instead of one per individual.  See here.

Bibliography

Why Are Ladybugs Considered Good Luck? (2016). Retrieved from Pets on Mom me: http://animals.mom.me/ladybugs-considered-good-luck-5881.html

Bless the Sick . . . What a Way to Start a Vacation

            Ever since we have moved into this ward, the folding doors in back of the chapel have been open to allow an overflow - which I haven’t felt was necessary – nevertheless, it has always remained open until today.  The chapel still felt empty – more empty than usual.

            The second counselor made the announcement that half of the ward was out sick.  I think it was more than half, and had actually never experienced such a thing before – or at least it had never been that obvious.  The primary was supposed to sing yesterday, but only four members of the primary were in the congregation at that time.  My student wasn’t one of them.

            A lot of improv was made – particularly on the part of the primary.  It was announced that the young men and young women would remain in the chapel with their parents for Sunday School.  I could see the panicked look on Jenna’s face.  I told her that she could go to primary one last time if she would like.  I think more than half the youth who were actually present ended up in the primary watching whatever video one of the primary instructors had brought with her.  I think there were ten.  Half primary, half YMYW.

            Jenna hadn’t felt well at school on Friday.  She didn’t seem to enjoy the festivities held on the last day of the year.  Turns out she was dehydrated and has been throwing up off and on ever since.  I was actually surprised that she wanted to go to Church.  Neither one of us realized that only a third of our usual attendance would show.  But I do think she ended up having a wonderful time and forgot about her sickness for a few hours at least.

            I have said to her how sorry I’ve been that her “vacation” is at such a crummy start.  She has had quite a healthy attitude about it, though.  Says she is happy to be sick during vacation and not during the days when school is in session.

            We have one family in the ward with a father/husband possibly dying at the hospital.  I have seen glimpses of him from time to time, but he has never made it through an entire meeting since we moved in over a year and a half ago.  His health has been deteriorating ever since.

            He was in the hospital in the big city of Roseburg but was moved to rehab and was complaining about his back.  One of his daughters commented on how depressing and uninviting the rehab seemed to be.  Been there, done that.  Turns out he has an infection in his spine.  Now he is in a different hospital in the large land of Eugene – Oregon’s 2^nd largest city.  I wonder if the infection in his spine is the sam infection that spread so quickly throughout my mom’s bloodstream – or wherever it was.

            The family seems prepared to let him go.  The drive to Eugene is long, but they have such a healthy attitude toward the situation.  At least the kids are now out of school and they can make that journey together.  Wow.  I’m in awe.

            I’m sorry that this season has been so wicked to so many.  My eldest son tells me attendance was down in his ward also.  He said he and his wife found themselves in charge of the entire primary yesterday.  I don’t know how many children they had.

            I know that if I was in Utah right now, I would be miserable with a sinus infection.  So grateful I don’t have that now.  I like having nature’s humidifier just outside my window.  My breathing has been so much better in Oregon.  Not only is there more moisture in the air, but the air is also clean.  No inversion.  That is awesome!

            My wish is that all people may have a speedy recovery and enjoy good health again.

Wise Men

                Gold, frankincense, and myrrh were left with the baby Jesus.  Three gifts.  We associate this to mean that there were three wise men, but we don’t actually know the exact number involved.  It’s highly possible that there could have been as many as twenty, possibly more.  There could have been several caravans arriving from many different directions.

          In the song “We Three Kings,” we assume that they are from the Orient – which makes sense as it had taken at least two years from the time they began their travel until they reached their destination.  When they finally arrived, they weren’t actually a part of the nativity scene that is often displayed today with the wise men and shepherds attending the same event.  Oh, no.  By the time the Wiseman arrived, Jesus was no longer a newborn sleeping in a manger, but a toddler living in a house. (Matthew 2:11)

          When Jenna was younger, we had read a book about the journey of the wise men.  The story focused on one boy who had the opportunity of making the journey with his father and the company they traveled with.  Sadly, I do not remember the title of the book, but I remember feeling a sense of admiration for the journey that had been made.

          I love stories and lessons involving the wise men, and thoughts given such as “Wise Men Still Seek Him” and the beautiful message tied in with relating their conditions and awareness to each of us.  “The Fourth Wise man” (both book and animation) tells us the story of another who had traveled with gifts not mentioned in the Bible.  These gifts actually never made it to the Christ Child as they were distributed along the way. This video is for just over an hour.

        

          I also think about “The Greatest Salesman in the World” written by Og Mandino.  I love the story he tells of Hafid, a young camel boy who has a strong desire to become a salesman.  He is given the opportunity to sell a coat – a beautiful red coat to sell at whatever price he can get.  It isn’t an easy task.  His very first occasion to sell said coat takes place in Bethlehem  - approximately at the same time that Joseph and Mary have arrived.

          After three days in Bethlehem, Hafid returns to his master, humiliated, unaware of the Bethlehem Star.  His master notices the star.  He takes it as a sign, not that Jesus has been born, but for a different reason. Although Hafid was not a wise man per se, he gave unselfishly, which made him wise. Excellent book.

          May we all continue to follow the wise men on our own personal journeys as we seek His Light and follow Him in righteousness.