Reminiscing 70+ years part 5

24.    She has insightful conversations with me.

25.    She spoils me.

                                                             I believe mom spoiled us all. 

 26.    She holds me when I cry.

                                     As I was her eldest, and experienced major mood swings, she didn't always know how to handle whatever crises I thought I was having.  One day I came home from school so upset and was really trying to understand, but could not get anything out of me.

                                    I kept a journal at the time.  She did respect my privacy.  At the same time she really did want to comfort me and debated on whether to read it or not.  She finally did.  I had written: "TODAY WAS SUCH A HORRIBLE DAY, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT"  

                                    Fortunately for mom, non of my sibs were the emotional train-wreck I appeared to be.  Lucky me, I now get to relive those years but this time I'm the mom and Jenna is the train-wreck - sometimes.  She's still more well adjusted than I ever was.  

 27.    She loves the one I love.

           She didn't have a problem with Roland per se, but rather my decision to get engaged only three days after we met.  Yes.  I can understand that.  I had a problem with accepting that myself.  I felt like it was a test, and just because I had said "yes" to the proposal did not mean I had to go through with the marriage.

            I'm certain she had misgivings about Joh (Corey's spouse) as well - until she met him.  How could we all help but not love Joh?

 28.    She's someone I can talk to about anything.

29     She always encouraged me to get good grades

30.    She cared enough to push me to do things I didn't necessarily want to do.

           I remember having to learn the names of body parts and the cells and chromosomes and so forth.  Mom really helped me by making silly suggestions for ways that might help me remember.  I don't know that I viewed it as "fun" at the time, but her silly suggestions really were helpful.

31.    She's patient and has always been patient with me.

32.    She loved me even when I was a jerk.

                         I have seen each of my mom's children grow, but I think I notice it the most with Corey.  There were several years there that he really was a jerk. (see here, here and here)

33.    She instilled in me a love of God and Christ.

34.    She's neurotic.

                         I don't remember what example Corey used, but I'm certain it left the audience in stitches.  Mom could be quite funny without trying to be.  Sometimes she'd insist we knew things or had been in places that we hadn't been.  We would always share these inside jokes that only we would understand as Patrick was NOT with us when we had gone to see "Watership Down" but for years she believed he was.  We would always throw in descriptions of, "you remember.  It was raining and Helen Hayes was there" as they had been other memories that certain sibs really didn't understand - because they hadn't been there.  And then mom would say, "Oh, be quiet!" when we started teasing her by lovingly using her words against her.

 35.    She's makes her in-laws feel just as important as her own children

                     Even during those rare moments that Roland had visitations with Frances and Pamprin and we would bring them over as we had planned on visiting mom, she accepted them as part of family.  She had presents beneath the tree for them.  She had a way for including everybody into her world.  Even the neighbor's grandchildren referred to her as Grandma.

 36.    She's a great grandmother, and she has birthday dates with her grandkids.

                        She took each birthday child out for lunch along with whatever other family members were available.  After Sunny and Patrick had children, she continued the birthday tradition which each of their children. 

Reminiscing 70+ years part 4

A continuation of list started yesterday

13.    She's a complete technophobe.

                            I don't think she did ever learn how to set the VCR
14.    She makes me feel needed.
                                                Each of us was important and she let us know why and what talents we could offer that maybe someone else could not.
15.    She showed me a great example of a successful marriage.
                        I had believed that all families were like my family - that the mom and dad loved one another and that the children enjoyed being a part of the family.  I didn't realize that there were many who had squabbles or came from broken homes.  When I think about it,  I guess even mom came from a broken home.  Her parents used to squabble.  She said there really hadn't been harmony in the home until after her dad left, and that it was all somehow shaken up again when her mom remarried.
                        Mom had set several goals for herself - one was that there would never be a divorce.  She also would do her best not to have to raise her family in an apartment. Mom and dad were a great example of a great marriage and great family life.  I have often told people that I must be from a "fairytale" family as people don't believe we could love and respect one another the way that we have. 
16.    She was a good wife.
17     She loves to travel, and we love traveling together.
                        Corey relates the experience of the two of them riding the hovercraft - which is hilarious.  I am actually the only one of mom's children who hasn't been to Europe.  

                        When mom had dementia, she believed she had traveled to places that she really hadn't.  I brought a map and put it in her room.  We put silver stars on places where she had been to physically and colored stars marked all the places she had only been to in her mind.  For the most part she had  "just driven there for the day" .  Greenland had been among those places
18     She took us on many family trips

19     She taught me not to judge people.
                        Mom always saw people for who they were on the inside.  She didn't take notice of a person's race, religion or scars.  She worked with a guy who had a disfigured face and she managed to overlook it.  When he showed up at work one day to share the exciting news that he'd be getting a facial operation she asked him why.  He was puzzled that she'd ask, but she really had learned to look beyond the deformed features that most people saw.
20.    She lets me live with her still.
                        I suppose many parents are anxious to see their children leave the "nest" - mom was not.  We could have all lived with her forever as far as she was concerned.  For 39 years I believed I would.  It's not that she didn't want to see us spread are wings and grow.  She was encouraging about that, but still melancholy with seeing us leave - especially when it started feeling permanent.
21.    She helped me gain an appreciation for current events and the news.
22.    She often agrees with me politically and has some liberal views.
                        I thought one of us had posted to our blog about the painful experience we had with taking mom to vote for what would be her last time.  She was very confused, and Corey had asked her who she wanted to vote for, and wrote down the names on a paper and asked for someone to guide her through figuring the punch card would be even more of a challenge.  (We don't have that in Oregon; the entire state votes by mail.  See here) It would have been easier if we had been able to do it that way that particular year.            
23.    She let me have a cat when I was young.
                                    I don't recall Patrick or Kayla ever showing an interest in an animal as with did Corey and I.  I think I actually had gone through more cats than did Corey. Mom had also had at least one cat when she was growing up.  She said her pregnant cat had babies in her closet on top of a slip that had been left in there.  The cat was quite protective of her babies and would snarl at mom, I guess.  Mom was not so fond of cats after that incident.  And yet she allowed over a dozen into our house over the years.

Reminiscing 70+ years part 3

               At the time we had mom's party I had not yet started my blog nor do I think I had started reading Corey's.  Perhaps I did and I just don't remember.  He hasn't posted for a while, and so I haven't looked at his blog page much the last year and a half.  I did open his blog page yesterday to see if he had mentioned the event or what he said about it - but I couldn't find anything - not at the time the event took place anyway.  He had his own personal trial he was dealing with.  I don't know if he ever got around to reminiscing the events that took place that summer my mom turned 70. 
               He gave mom a copy of the list he had created, but not the stories he had shared at the party as he paid her tribute and entertained those who came; thus I will share his list and my own examples as I can remember them.

70 Things I Love About My Mother

1.      She's always supported my career and seen just about every show I've done.

2.      She encouraged me to serve a mission.

3.      She loves me just for who I am.
4.      She loves to play games.

                                As I hadn't started my blog until the last year my mom lived in my childhood house, I hadn't recorded much pre-dementia.  Playing games with my family was just a part of life - I thought all families did it. 

                               Mom and dad had taught Patrick and me how to play a card game called 500 which I mention here.  We would play board games.  I remember one time when the power had gone out, we played a game called SKUNK; we played by Candle light.  Even after daddy's health deteriorated, we'd continue playing games.  There was one called Encore which is a singing game.  Dad had had a series of strokes and it had become difficult for him to get the words out of his mouth, but you could see him light up, and he would think of a song, and it didn't matter which team's turn it was or how long he took - we allowed him to provide an answer and would give it to whatever team's turn  it was to play.
                               Mom didn't seem so competitive as a team player, but boy, she was competitive when it was player against player.  Corey and I were her rivals.  She would play all games with all people, but there were specifics that I talked about in this post.

5.      She's a worry-wart.

6.      We love to go to lunch together.

                                            Mom enjoyed food and loved having the company of her children. More times than not it would be just her and only one child.  I remember her telling me about going to the mall when Patrick was working at one of those gift cheese stores.  She would stop by and ask him to go to lunch and one day asked if that embarrassed him as he was having lunch with his mom.  He told her that some of his co-workers were actually jealous about it.  All of us would always have good discussions with mom when we would go out to eat.

7.      She supported my educational pursuits.

                               Mom helped each of us with our education, but we all seemed to notice it the most with Kayla who really struggled in school.  Her mind was much slower than any of mom's other children or Kayla's peers.  She required extra attention for focusing and it did not help matters that the phone was always ringing off the hook as her friends would constantly call or come over.  Thus mom removed Kayla from the neighborhood environment for a couple of hours each week, possibly every day . .  I can't remember. 

                During the summer mom would take Kayla to a local drive-in for breakfast and they would hang-out for the required time that mom had set up to help Kayla understand whatever subject that Kayla was expected to understand.  She was so diligent in making sure that Kayla received a proper education.  I have always admired that

 8.      She helped me get my first job.

                            As I had mentioned in this post: except for dad, all of my family had worked at Snelgrove's Ice Cream Store - not at the same time, mind you.  Patrick and I had both started earning wages at age 13 or 14 with paper routes, but for Kayla and Corey, Snelgroves was a first job. 

 9.      She instilled good work ethic in me.

10.    She instilled in me an appreciation of theatre and movies.
11.    She instilled in me an appreciation for reading.

                                                Both my mom and Corey were avid readers.  They could have three or four books read before I had even completed one.  I do enjoy reading.  It just takes me a lot longer.

                                             Mom was reading books again while in assisted living.  She could never tell you what she was reading, but we do know she did read.

 12.    She read stories when I was young.

                                             She also read to/with the grandkids

Reminiscing 70+ years part 2

                Roland brought some corn into the house the other day.  He had picked it from our garden. 

I took pictures of the produce and went out to the garden to take pictures of each bed and started a post on the progress (or lack thereof) of our garden.  I stopped my thought flow around 2:30 as Jenna gets home from school between 2:30 and 2:45 and wanted to be in the front room to greet her when she returned.

            She asked if I could drive her to the youth center which she hasn't gone to for over a year.  I knew  I would have to fill out paperwork as the center requires that the information be updated each year.  It appears that the paperwork packet increases in size each year.  This year felt like a small book.

            Roland and I were in the middle of slicing apples for applesauce and apple pie.  I chose to take the paperwork home rather than to take the time filling it out at the center - besides I had the entire weekend.  For the most part Roland was okay by himself, but would call me in to assist for a few minutes here and there and so I sat on the couch and started to fill out the forms.

            Though the packet seemed thick enough to write on without something underneath, the surface was too flat and I needed for the forms to be at an angle so that it would be more comfortable to my arm, thus I grabbed a binder that seemed closest to my reach.  Now, I don't create these posts in memory of my mom's death - the binder I had grabbed turned out to be the scrapbook we had given to mom for her 70th birthday. 

            My brother, Corey, does not believe in coincidences. Perhaps my subconsciously grabbing mom's photo album was meant to serve a better purpose than a temporary desk for the paperwork I had.  Certainly these posts now are much more compelling than the topic of our unbalanced garden.  Perhaps this will trigger memories for others - if not my mom, perhaps your own.

            Of course I have gone through the album as it was already in my lap, and have read kind words and have smiled knowing how much my mom was/is loved.  My aunt had enclosed a few pictures from the past.  She said that when she met my mom, she reminded her of  Jacqueline Kennedy.  Until then I had not known that anyone had ever made any kind of comparison between her and "Jackie".

            Some of the same values that she instilled into her children were also expressed by former co-workers.  Roland drew some illustrations with captions "It seems like the older you get, the younger adults and professional become.  Children seem smarter . . . technology goes by you . . . But best of all, you have seen it all"  Her traits were addressed:

compassion, humble, enjoyable visits,  great example, service, devotion, blessing, giving, memories . . .  Each letter indicated that each had been so grateful to know my mom. I am grateful to have this great treasure in my possession.  The last page contains a card from my mom's brother and his wife.  He passed away the year that we put mom into assisted living.  His wife also had some sort of dementia and was put into an assisted living also.  She passed away just this year.  Of those who had come to the party or had sent letters, there are at least eight who  have joined mom on the other side.  I am grateful to have known them all and to read how much they loved my mom.

           

Reminiscing 70+ years part 1

            I enjoy looking at the memories that facebook reminds me for each day.  The thing I enjoy most is reading comments from friends who have since passed away - like yesterday morning for instance, I was reading thoughts to wish my husband and I "Happy Wedding Anniversary" for almost each year I'd been on facebook.  The last comment I read was from my mom.  I think that's cool.

            Mom was not an avid facebook user.  She seemed to allow herself to get flustered with modern technology.  The year I started my facebook account was also the first year her children all wondered if there was some instability happening with mom's mind.  I don't know if that was the first year she'd been tested for Alzheimer's.  I do know she was tested at least twice, but the results didn't show Alzheimer's - but she was in the early stages of dementia.  Many people assume they are the same thing as Alzheimer's is a form of dementia.  I personally don't understand the difference, but here's how it was explained to me:  Dementia is like a wheel and Alzheimer's is just one spoke on the wheel -  

thus everybody that has Alzheimer's has dementia, but not everyone with dementia has  Alzheimer's.  I have never heard any other names to refer to dementia except for Alzheimer's.

            Corey is more well read on the subject than any of the rest of us are - plus he has friends who had been schooled in the subject.  There are seven stages one goes through when he or she has dementia.  My mom passed away during stage five - which provided us with fun memories.  I have always been grateful that none of us had to see her at stage seven.  

            My mom turned 70 the summer of 2009.  Sunny had suggested doing a tribute themed party for her.  We would invite everybody in the ward, everybody she had ever worked with, everybody that we could remember she had known.  I made up some fliers - I don't even know how many.  I had mailed about half, emailed a few and hand delivered quite the rest.

            A neighbor had called me to ask if watch her girl who had been in pre-school with Jenna.  I told her that I had to run some errands, but if she was okay with it, I could take Amber with me.  That actually turned out to be an awesome blessing for me, as I didn't even have to stop the motor on the car.  I would hand the fliers to the girls, tell them which houses to leave them at, and made a game of it.  I think I must have picked a day that my mom was not home as we were able to hit all the houses in her neighborhood without having met her.

            When I was down to my last six invites, I asked one of the neighbors if the girls could play in her yard until I came back.  As it turned out, the neighbor was doing some gardening and the girls volunteered to assist.  The neighbor was disgusted by the amount of snails that she'd come across while gardening. Jenna and Amber would eagerly pick them up and play with them.  They each had three snails on the table when I returned.  They were watching them "race". 

They wanted to keep the snails but I told them that snails were not allowed to ride in the car.  The neighbor put them in the garbage can after we left.

            We encouraged those who couldn't attend mom's party to send a letter which might include any memories they had of mom.  Sunny provided paper and pens for those who wished to write a letter during the party.  We held it at Patrick and Sunny's house.  Their children had made a giant banner and hung it over their garage. The birthday party was great!  Mom was certainly surprised.

            Corey had a special tribute to share and read a list of 70 things he loves about mom.  He read the list of simple words or phrases, but would pause to relate an experience of why a certain thing had made it to the list.  It was an awesome program.  Wonderful memories.  Enjoyable night.

            All of her children took pictures, and Bill asked us to send in what we had and he would put ALL of our pictures on one disk. We started a scrapbook  for my mom to put the cards and letters and I added the pictures.  I had created 15 pages on the computer, but had added handmade pages with photographs and incorporated them with the letters - more than 65 pages total.

            I don't know how often she looked at it.  We brought it to her after we had moved her to assisted living.  I pasted this to the top of it: 

            I thought if she looked at it every day, she wouldn't feel so alone (not that she was, but before she met Harold, she often felt that she'd been forgotten) but she kept it in a drawer - which defeated the purpose.

            I'd forgotten that she had passed away the day after my 12th wedding anniversary date to Roland - or that she was buried the day before dad's birthday (which he didn't seem much for celebrating on earth - probably not in heaven;  though I'm certain that their reunion was a great birthday gift)

Accounting - a Cure for Insomnia

            I started two new classes on Labor Day - well, new to me.  The classes themselves aren't new.  One is in financing and the other is accounting.  Oh, joy.  It hasn't been a full week, and already I've gotten them mixed up.

            The instructor who teaches finance is one I've already had before.  My accounting instructor is the most enthusiastic one yet.  She talks quicker than I can take notes.  She doesn't spend much time on the assignment but does seem to cover a lot of ground.  It is still overwhelming.

            Now, I'm a visual person, which I think I have mentioned.  I love finding videos on YouTube that will help me understand whatever subject.  CrashCourse was great for economics and history, but it doesn't appear that there are have been any CrashCourse made with the subject of accounting.  Too bad.  Meanwhile, I have been searching for something that doesn't sound or read like Ben Stein.

            You see the reaction of the students?  I actually have a more attentive face learning the depression and economics and so forth than studying accounting. I have not come across yet that makes me go, "OH . . . I get it now!"  Ben Stein also done commercials for "Clear Eyes" and while the commercials themselves seem to have some eye amusement, his voice does not

            Accounting reads like double talk.  The language is seriously over my head.  And of course, everything is written in third person.  I guess that's one reason I prefer reading material in first person as opposed to third person.  Third person is too textbooky and impersonal.  There is nothing personal about accounting.  The higher up the class is, the more foreign it sounds.  Although I do seem to be getting some of what I  hear or read.

            Though the majority of my instructors have put more enthusiasm into their voices and have brought in their passion toward the subject, I haven't run across that on YouTube.  Most of it has been monotone and robotic.

            When addressing the question, "What would you recommend for falling asleep?" I have always suggested watching "the English Patient" - how can you seriously stay awake for the entire movie?  If that doesn't work, pull up YouTube and type in accounting.  That should do it.  

Smoked Peaches . . . . it's a Wonder I Didn't Cut Myself

                We ended up NOT going to McMinnville.  Air quality has shifted.  Yesterday we were at a Very Unhealthy and McMinnville was moderate.  Now we're at Moderate and McMinnville as at an Unhealthy level worse than Roseburg - which seemed more breathable the last time I was there.  And forget Eugene.  As there is no direct line from Myrtle Creek to McMinnville, we'd have to take I5 and through Eugene - which may have been worse off than South Umpqua all along.

                This morning I read that I84 was/is closed due to the smoke (here).  That's crazy.  We are stuck . . . fires north of us (Washington and Canada) fires east of us (Idaho) fires south of us (California) fires to our West (Oregon) Schools have closed or are on delay due to the smoke.  Jenna had school.  That floors me.  I mean, yeah, the air quality is better today than yesterday.  Still can't see the sky or mountains though (I may be seeing more trees) Our state is on FIRE! (here) 

                There has been concern about the crops - particularly those that have been growing grapes in vineyards.  They wonder how the wine will be effected if smoky grapes are used.  That is just one of many crops.  I remember the air quality in Medford was not so great when our family joined others with a pear picking project.  I wondered then how the smoke would/does effect the produce.

                The family next door gave us three buckets of fruit this weekend.  We left them on the back porch and so they have been exposed to the smoke, but I don't taste it.  There are more peaches than we can eat before they start to spoil. We decided to freeze what we can and pull it out as we need it.  Using this video to help guide us, Roland and I decided to start on the peaches this morning.  I say start as there is a lack of trays and freezer room.  So we have decided that we will work on eight peaches per day until we have them all.  We have also bagged frozen apple slices and will continue with apples before moving on to pears. 

                So there is your update for today.  BTW THANK YOU to Better Homes and Gardens for that Tutorial.  Very helpful!

Dust Maks

I remember the smell of smoke or stale air many times when I was in Utah.  It was usually cold outside.  We could shut the doors and stay warm and the smell would stay on the outside.  I've never had smoke follow me inside the house before.  I can't see it indoors, but I know that it is there.  We've been running the fans and airconditioners to discourage the smoke.  It has helped cut down the strength, but I still have a headache.

True Value has sold out all dust masks:

        Roland said he purchased the last bag less than 30 minutes ago.  The next supply won't be in until Friday.  The air is definitely cleaner with this on.  It is also very hot. We also have dust masks in our evacuation bags.  I had forgotten about that until just now.  We really need to go through our bags again.  Perhaps we will do that for family home evening.

         If school should get cancelled tomorrow due to the poor air quality, we will head up to McMinnville to stay with Beth and Graham for a while.  The air quality up there is just moderate.  That beats very unhealthy though. 

           I tried taking pictures of the red sun (the only evidence we've had of there still being a sky) but my camera can't capture what's really there.

         Meanwhile Jenna has decorated her mask. 

Gotta add some humor to this pathetic situation, right?

Harvey is Not the Nation's Only Disaster

          Every time I sign onto facebook, I have been invited to donate to the relief fund for Harvey - as I'm sure all facebook users have.  I have never dealt with the aftermath of a hurricane or earthquake or tornado and hope I will never have to.  I don't know what it's like - but it sounds horrible.  It looks horrible.  I know that there are many who are suffering.  I'm certain that the current situation in Houston Texas is worse than my own in Myrtle Creek. 

          I do know what it's like to be surrounded by cold winds and how heavy snow can get.  I have had a small taste of a heat-wave.  I can deal with mold better than some.  I can actually better deal with strong and unpleasant odors as I have lost my sense of smell - although I can smell the smoke as it lingers through any air holes it may find - the opening and closing of the door.  It is awful. I do know what it's like to struggle to breathe in smoke-filled or polluted air.  I feel for the asthmatic.

          I called Biff's mother-in-law who has already lost three  children to health issues.  Two boys have survived - one in Texas, one in Washington.  The one in Texas had been evacuated before Harvey came.  They returned to debris outside of their home.  Miraculously the inside remained unharmed.  She thinks the other is alright as well and has plans for talking with him later this afternoon.  I don't know if the air quality his family is breathing compares to ours. 

          There have been countless news stories about specific fires and many with several fires.  You can read just a few here, here, here and here.  Or you can Google your own search.  Fires have been burning most of the summer (if not all of it)

          I have been hearing the helicopters, but not seeing them.  I wonder how they are able to see.  Or perhaps I'm not really hearing them.  It just became a common sight and so I just think I hear them.

           I came to Oregon for the clean moist air.  It has disappeared along with the mountains and sky.  But I'm sure I would have headaches and coughing in Salt Lake as well.  The boys have a cousin who is unable to breathe due to asthma and fire/smoke combination in another county.  I have a brother-in-law who has probably been affected by the smoke from the same fire as he also works in an area the smoke has lingered.  It was worse at Church than it is in the house. Good testimony meeting though.

         These are various pictures I have taken of the same mountain that can't be seen at this time:

          I had an instructor post: Assignments due; if you have been affected by Harvey, arrangements can be made!  Please let us know.  That is very thoughtful to consider those who may have been evacuated, for those cleaning up, for those who possibly aren't able to sign on and see the message because of the situation. 

Harvey isn't the only natural disaster that has taken place. 

         

Do You Think We’ll Have To Evacuate?

          We saw deer all the time after we first moved to Oregon.  They had wandered into the city to escape the fires that were burning their homes in the forest.  I don’t recall having seen as many deer in the last two years combined.  The fires seem greater this year than in 2015.

          Shortly after our move to Oregon, I made up three evacuation bags. We kept them in the closet door right next to the front door. I felt quite fortunate that we’ve never had to use them.

          When we moved again, Roland added to the evacuation bags making them three times as heavy. Because of their weight and a extremely small closet, they no longer seem as convenience to get to.  We found five can openers among our garage sale treasures.  I figured we had enough that we could put one in each bag (as all three bags contain canned goods) but haven’t had the desire for moving the heavy bags.  Currently they are sitting on top of the vacuum cleaner which has also been stuffed into the closet.

          Tri City lies between Riddle and Myrtle Creek.  Riddle was at a number two evacuation when I first created this post - now they're at a number three - at least nine houses in Riddle - but apparently not the entire city of Riddle as they are currently using the elementary school as refuge.  I wonder how long that will last.

          Yesterday was the our day at the pool until next year.  We went to Winston today and then to Roseburg. The sky was gone - or that is how it appeared anyway.  Like God had erased the sky and we were looking at a blank whitish-grey canvas. I remember thick fogs in winter that settled over houses in Salt Lake City.  It was always cold.  It looks like it should be cold outside, but it's not.  It's hot and it is smoky.  On the return back to Myrtle Creek, it appeared that more of the scenery was slowly being erased away.  I took these pictures:

          It is highly possible that Tri City could evacuate if the rest of the entire city of Riddle is asked to leave.  The temperature forecast says it may get to 108 today.  108?!?! September should never be this hot. Planet Earth should never be this hot!  Why can’t we sent some heat down to Houston to dry up the floods and have them send us their rain to put out the fires?  Why can’t we have a happy balance?  I came to Oregon in order to breathe better.  Not happening right now.  We need moisture to clean out our gunky air.