Define Your Dash: more links

          I have followed a few blogs off and on.  Many of the creators have stopped posting.  Others have closed for privacy or discontinued the blog altogether.   My niece had three blogs going - though not all simultaneously.  The first one was one that a friend had started when they were living in Thailand in the summer of 2011.  She had started another the year that my mother died.  Her first post was a tear jerker.  She made some profound thoughts - much like her mother.  I have wished that Sunny would create a blog to post to. 

          Ellen (not her real name.  Unlike Corey and I, she uses the real actual names in her blogs) started off her first post mentioning how every journal she starts will include a history of herself.  I can relate to that.  I have tried cramming my entire life into a few pages - often repeating myself and then slowly drifting away from it only to start over again later on. I absolutely love her profound thoughts and her ability to comparing her entries to puzzle pieces hoping that someday the pieces will all fit into one finished puzzle.

          She writes how early in her marriage she felt that she had been forced into responsibilities that she was not prepared to handle.  Perhaps "force" is not the correct word.  It was just an awkward situation for all of us - a situation which a newly married couple shouldn't have to deal with.  I think there may have been some resentment on my part as well. 

          In 2009 the economy had treated so many unkindly.  We were in jeopardy of losing our house.  We had two boys on missions and were in need of temporary housing.  I had asked my mom if we could stay with her for a while.  I figured that it would be good for her as it was for us because her dementia was starting to kick in and we knew it was only a matter of time before her mind got worse.  I also knew that Biff would be able to lift her if she were to fall.  Someone would have been with her around the clock.  I don't think either of my brothers believed her condition would worsen as quickly as it did.  We did not move in with my mom.  I suppose I felt a bit miffed a few years later when I learned that Nate and Ellen were moving in.  It wasn't anything personal.  It was the dementia.  Mom hadn't even remembered my asking. 

          She seemed pretty normal for the first year that Nate and Ellen had moved in with her.  But by their second year, mom's mind was being robbed of any present or future common knowledge and often diverted into the past.  Nate and Ellen were still newlyweds.  Their living arrangements in helping to care for mom turned into way more than they had bargained for.  Of course, it did!  Ellen was struggling with her emotions.  I was too - and I wasn't under the same roof as Ellen was.  I can understand her resentments and frustrations.  I really can.

          The name of her first post was called " Don't Be Sorry"  It's her description of the situation and seeing my mom in the assisted living that tugged at my heartstrings.  Even now - 5 years later.  Well, just over 5 years.  Her first post was on July 28, 2013 - just over five weeks before my mom passed. Her last post was on June 25, 2017 "Define Your Dash #25".  On January 1 of that same year, she had accepted the "Define Your Dash" challenge - or had attempted it rather - although she had pretty much been "defining her dash" all along. I don't know if she made that connection or had ever thought of it that way.  So what exactly does it mean to "Define One's Dash"?

          This website here gives us a glimpse into what the "dash" represents.  It is the "line" between the birthdate and the death date as written on a grave marker or funeral program.  

It is the "dash" - or time between birth and death.  This post gives a bit of insight to those who may not have "defined their dashes" or perhaps the discovery still needs to be made.  Defining your dash is to write down your memories, your recollections, your history.  It is what makes you.  By writing what your "dash" is, you are defining what that "line" represents.   

          There are 52 writing suggestions found here that remind me of the pieces of paper I can retrieve from my journal jar here, though I like the symbolic meaning for the "dash" or "line" between the two dates.  That is our life!  We need to write a legacy for our families so that we are more than just two dates etched in stone.  52 suggestions to outline the year if you were to write one each week.  Ellen posted 25 of them.  For Linda Ellis's full poem about the dash, see here.  Feel inspired.  Write for yourself.  Write for your posterity. 

Cameras and Referral Sites

          When Jenna told me her assignment was on camera history, I smiled as I had recently touched on that same subject in class discussion post that I briefly mention here.  I ended up with this thought on digital cameras versus film:

       " The digital camera was made available to the public in 1988 (Ternholm, 2007).  Before the start of the 21st Century,  I had known several people who had tried to sway me into the perks of having/owning digital.  I don't remember all the reasons I had for sticking with my 35mm and rolls of film, but one of the reasons was because I had convinced myself that the picture quality was better from the film than the digital results.

        "It wasn't until our family had an opportunity of hosting a foreign exchange student that I was "swayed" to the perks that a digital camera could provide.  My "son" would take several pictures and post them to a blog that he had created.  I had had the option of retrieving copies of pictures I had taken with my 35mm.  If I put in the right code, I could view them online and even save them to the computer if I chose.  It was nice to have that option, but the quality really wasn't there.

        "I received my first digital camera in 2006.  I found many perks to a digital camera that weren't available on my 35mm.  Not only was the quality better when I viewed it on the computer, but I could view all pictures before they would be "developed".  I had the option of deleting the ones I didn't want and would not have to pay for a lot of dumb pictures I wasn't able to view until after they were developed.  Digital feels like less of a gamble and less of an expense than does film.  Taking thousands of pictures without having to change film was the deal breaker.  I love the digital camera." 

          I was not at home when Jenna returned from school yesterday as I had a dentist appointment in Riddle.  Yesterday morning I had taken time look up a few references related to the camera and had also written down my own memories - none of which she used.  Instead, she went with my initial suggestion to interview Bill and was on the phone with him when I returned back from the dentist.

          She wanted to start her paper off with a humorous introduction and went with " I want to take up photography as it is the only job you get to shoot people and cut their heads off without getting arrested."  My suggestion had been to ask the question "Why is it that people didn't smile in early photographs?" but I am happy that she made her own choice - as the quote does capture her personality.

          I had read an article on the TIME website here that provided two possibilities of reasons why people didn't smile in the early 19th century photographs.  The first had nothing to do with the camera, but the second possibility was the one I had been looking for that the long process of loading the film and taking the picture was just too long for sitting still - let alone wearing a smile for that length of time.

          She barely touched on the subject of people not smiling and heavy equipment used only by professional photographers.  Mostly she ended up quoting everything that Bill had told her.  Meanwhile, I had suggested my own memories of cameras and film.  As she did not include any of my memories in her report, I will post them here.

          First I went through some names of inventors and original invention found here before starting in with the memories, the first was from my mom.  She was telling me about a red box camera that her father had used.  She said she recalls that he would go into the closet every time he had to change the film.    Not a whole lot of pictures were taken, but we do have some.

Grandma Mary, Uncle John and my mom about 1943

in San Francisco

 

          I don't recall my first camera or how many cameras total.  I know that both Patrick and I had our own cameras when Kayla was a baby as she was often the subject of our pictures.

 We had a Polaroid at one time.  Those even harder to keep in the photo album than those tacky corners.  In 1978 my parents bought me a colorburst camera. 

came with its own rainbow strap.  How cool is that?

It was cool to get instant pictures, but again, the bulkiness of the photos themselves.  I remember scanning in several photos and do know that Polaroids were among them but cannot seem to retrieve any at this time except for this one that I found on my brother's facebook page

 The camera was available for only two years and discontinued as Polaroid had brought a lawsuit against Kodak which evidently took years to resolve with a heavy fine which Kodak had to pay to Polaroid found here, here and here.

         

          I remember Kodak had sent out discount coupons or certificates or something to compensate their customers who had purchased the colorburst.  I remember purchasing a disc camera.  It is the one that I used while on my mission here.

         

          When I worked at Patrick Dry Goods, I had purchased and several lenses.  I think it was the only camera I had owned that wasn't solely automatic.  I had fun experimenting with the lenses, but it was short-lived.

          Throughout the years I've had many cameras including these two:

probably my first with built-in flash

I had purchased this for durability.  I figured it was a tough camera.  As a leader, I took it to YW camp

 

          Even though digital was available before I was married, I did not have my first digital camera until after Jenna was born.  The digital camera doesn't seem to built to last, however. I am currently on my 5th camera in the last twelve years.  My first camera was a used sony, and actually the best camera of the ones I had.  It died after 6,000 plus pictures.  Every other one has lasted less than four years.  I'm hoping my current camera may outlast them all. It has a lot more features and is the biggest digital camera that I've owned.

          It is said that there have been over 40 camera brands and over 2,000 models.  I have tried at least seven brands throughout my life.  I lost track of how many cameras I have gone through.  The camera truly is a great invention.

Tangible History

            As soon as Jenna returned home from school yesterday, Roland and I went to a neighbor's house to pick apples.  Jenna did not wish to go.  Instead, she started on some homework she had.  When I returned, she asked me to help her with a specific topic.  She had been assigned to write about an invention and had picked cameras as her topic.  Oh, yes.  What a great historical item.  

            My first suggestion to her was to make a comment on the straight faces that are seen in so many old photographs.  No one is smiling.  They all look serious.  Cameras seemed to be a lot heavier and bulkier back then.  It would take the photographer a huge amount of time just to set up his equipment and even longer to capture the pose.

            Jenna had taken a journey through camera timeline and did have a paragraph which was overly boring.  Cameras are fun.  The history of cameras is fascinating.  I showed her that she could take notes from a YouTube video if she didn't want to read.  Pep up your paper.  Put some life into it.  Interview Uncle Bill who is a professional photographer.  

            I told her about some of the cameras I had possessed during my lifetime.  And the lawsuit between Polaroid and Kodak and how I had to give up my Colorburst camera and my thinnest camera ever was the Kodak disc.  I told her how many pictures I could expect to get out of one roll of film.  I forgot about the stupid flash attachments that were needed for earlier cameras.  The people of the early 19th century had to wait for long periods of time to capture a moment.  Today we have instantaneous selfies and the capability of sharing them on social media within seconds after they are taken.

            I'm excited to help her with this project.  Of course, I am more excited than she is.  For her, it's work.  For me, it's a new blog subject.  Well, not really.  I have mentioned a few of my cameras in various posts.  My latest arrival came yesterday while I was removing grapes from there stem (we still have one large bucket left) though I did not get many better pictures of our grape transformation as the battery was being charged for a good part of the process.  But now, thanks to Corey, I now have this kind of camera

which came in this really cool drawstring bag.  

 So future posts should have better pictures and not just cell phone fuzz.  Looking forward.

Wine on the Vine

            There is a couple in the stake who had moved into a house with lots of land.  The original owner had used some of the land was used to grow baco grapes.  When the couple moved in, he asked to continue with growing his grapes and maintained that part of the land.  He has now retired from maintaining the land.  It's not necessarily an investment the family was interested in and decided to invite all those who lived in the stake to come and pick as many grapes as we want.  These were offered for free.

            So for family home evening, we loaded up the car with buckets, scissors, gloves and knee pads - though we did not need the latter.  The couple has grown into a family and had various children out in the orchard to direct participants on where to go and start cutting.  Cutting grapes off the vine was probably the easiest we've had of any other produce. (We didn't think to take pictures while we were there).  Thus in addition to the blueberries, cherries and apples, we have tackled this year, we have added grapes to the mixture of preserving - though it won't be with pie. 

            Last night Roland and I pulled a large number of grapes off the vines.  Rinsed them, smashed them, boiled them, drained them.  We did get more juice than I had expected.  We used a milk bottle for the juice and he put the glopped up mess into the sieve and put it on top of a bowl in the fridge.  I did not think about getting pictures of that last night.  I took all of these this morning while I was creating this post: 

we had filled two buckets

and a box to give away

stains left in each container that was used

Jenna calls these "grape bones"

The amount of juice made last night  - pucker up pal

The waist

Last night the waist looked like a purple jelly with seeds in it - like raspberry jelly often comes.  I didn't get a picture of it in the bowl or the sieve - not that it would have made much difference.  The cell phone quality is still not that great.  I don't see in the picture what I see in real life.  The blob no longer looks like jelly, but purple manure. Roland moved it out with the compost.

Enough is Enough

          Roland Loves watching movies and television.  I tolerate T.V. but as I have mentioned before, if we were to get rid of it, neither Jenna nor I would be upset about it.  There are so many things that are greater than sitting on the couch (an uncomfortable one at that) watching moving pictures and reading the closed captioned because even at 72 decibels, the sound is usually in competition with the A/C and the fan - unless you are in another room and then it's like "Why is the volume up so dang loud?"

          I can watch a couple of movies, I guess, but then I am burned out.  I cannot or will not watch 8 hours straight of "American Pickers" or "Flea Market Flip" or even "Big Bang Theory"  Even four hours is too much. 

          So yesterday, Roland asks if I want to see a movie.

           "You mean from Red Box?" 

          "Let's see what's playing at the cinema"

          "We don't have money to go to the cinema"

          So he brings home two movies from Redbox and another handful of movies that he picked up at a yard sale.  I could NOT get interested in ANY of it.  I was so antsy about sitting there wasting my time.  For some reason he wants us to watch movies together.  But we are rarely ever interested in the same thing.  I'm fine watching a movie without him.  In fact, sometimes I prefer it.  Then I don't have to listen to his commentaries. Sometimes I will talk during the programs he likes just so he won't get upset when I decide to leave.

          So we have started the third movie (because he could see I was uncomfortable with his RedBox movie selection).  It was a cheesy disaster movie that I figured I could handle better than anything else I had looked at.  The disaster hadn't really started when I received a phone call from a friend in Riddle.  She was calling to let me know that our daughters had won the summer reading prize for teens: a jar of candy. Each time the teens read so much, they were able to put in a guess for the amount of candy in a jar.  

          In addition to the candy were a bunch of skeleton parts that made up a skeleton. There were 251 pieces of candy plus skeleton parts.  Ashley had guessed 264 and Jenna had guessed 238 - each wasoff by 13 pieces.  They split the proceeds - though not fairly. Ashley can't have the candy and so Jenna ended up with most of it.  I thought it was cool that both had won.  I thought Ashley should get the skeleton, though her mom reminded her she probably wouldn't have room for it.  Neither does Jenna - but I would guess that Jenna will become bored with it in less than a year and can give it back to Ash.

          We went to the Riddle Library and hung out in the park with them for a while before we returned back home.  I think Roland was watching cowboys when we returned.  Too much TV.

I may come across as a bit long-winded

            The discussion for this week is to: "Think about a time when your mind was successfully changed either by a message delivered in print, on a screen, or in person from someone else. What factors swayed you?"  The first thing that came to mind was accepting gay rights.  As with many others, I grew up believing in the influence of society.  "Homosexuality was wrong and therefore anyone who practiced was wrong" and I think made to feel worthless. It was something I had been taught all of my life.  But through Corey, I've come to realize that to be gay or attracted to the same sex is often NOT a choice.  Really, why would an individual go through all the pain and prerecession in addition to having desires that he/she can't seem to control or explain? Why shouldn't they have the same rights as others who develop feelings for the opposite sex? No person has control over developing a love for another person.

            Discussion posts are to be at least 150 words long.  If I were to try to explain the details of being swayed to gay rights, my post would have been over 700 words.  I wanted to find something less personal - although the topic is on world culture and the subject matter of homosexuality would fit into "culture". I didn't wish my subject matter to be on such a personal level in the classroom.

             I ended up with over 250 words focusing on the digital camera versus my desire to use film.  But then I had to add more words as there were steps required for the post - plus an extra assignment given by the instructor during the lecture (for the benefit of forcing others to pay attention to the lectures) - bringing my total to over 500 words.

            When responding to somebody else's post, the word count needs to be at least 50.  My first response was to a classmate who doesn't deal well with change and chooses not to deal with it at all when she can help it.  End of story.  I did not notice that she had included the rest of the requirements that we were expected to post.  My response was that I don't like change myself, but I do understand the need for it.  I provided a few examples of rotating merchandise, updating equipment and social media - which may not have been pertinent to those living in the 20th century, but is pretty much a necessity nowadays.  Like it or not, the internet is now a part of life.  I don't think she's understanding of the purpose of this class as a requirement. She needs to know that she shouldn't appear to be so closed minded.  I would not hire someone who is not open to suggestions and change.

            The assignment focuses on four parts about accepting world culture and applying culture intelligence.  Word count needs to be 500 words or more.  I had over 800.  Why is it that I can ramble on and on with this class but struggle to find to the minimum required words for accounting - or why an essay would even be a requirement for accounting. 

            In addition to taking classes online, I have put in my application to work as a teacher's aide in the South Umpqua school district.  Thus far I have had interviews for three different schools.  I did not get the job for the first one as they had decided to go with someone else, but I did get a request that I should apply as a sub.  Meanwhile, school has started, but neither of the other schools has made their decision.  Jenna and I are hoping for the one near the high school so that she can ride home with me instead of taking the bus. 

            Things are kind of laid back for me otherwise.  Starting the 17th I will be back to two classes: database and intermediate cost accounting.  I should be able to handle it, but if I'm working, I will have to adjust my schedule.  Jenna and Roland might never see me except for morning and dinner perhaps.

            Feast or famine.  I have learned to enjoy the famine that seems to dwell around me right now. 

Early to Bed, Early to Rise . . .

          Jenna has early morning seminary.  She started this morning.  Arrangements have been made for taking the students from the church to the school - though I had planned on assisting with that this morning.  From the time she left the house to the time I arrived at the church was one of the quickest hours I have ever experienced in my life. 

          I had forgotten about her being in seminary or school traffic or buses or how much I loathe driving in school traffic.  I had somehow managed to forget all of that during the summer.  As soon as I pulled out of my driveway and saw a school bus, I thought "Oh, no." And then I had to fight the brightness of the sun on top of that.  Good grief.

          How is it possible that my baby had just barely turned eleven before our official move to Oregon and now she's a freshman in high school?   It's been nearly 14 1/2 years since I had given birth to her.  Wow! Time flies.  The older I get, the quicker it goes.  Why could it have not gone this quickly for me when I was a student?  A junior high school student particularly.  I am theoretically a student now.  The class I am currently taking is halfway over.  I barely remember it starting.  Even my accounting classes have gone fairly quickly.

          As I type this post, I have been given the opportunity to contribute to a car pool starting tomorrow.  That means I won't have to drive!  or even feel obligated to drive.  There are three in the class that will be going to the high school.  Small class.  

          Jenna's brothers and I all had the option of making seminary an elective during school.  Jenna would have that option if she were attending school in Roseburg. I can't help but believe Jenna would be going for the early morning seminary regardless.  She wants to take choir and drama.  I think she would enjoy painting or drawing as well, but is limited to how many electives she can take.  Right now she seems to want to put the perfuming arts above the liberal or graphic arts.

          I hope she has a great year.

I Am in Awe

Ever since preschool, Jenna has had this unbelievable talent of being able to talk AND to listen at the SAME TIME! Who does that?  I could never work in telemarketing as I know I will have co-workers around me that will have louder voices than what I’ll attempt to be hearing over the phone.  I’ve always had a problem concentrating on one sound or voice when there is a louder sound penetrating my ears. I also find it hard to concentrate on speaking if my voice is in competition with other sounds.

Last night Jenna asked if she could watch “What Would You Do?” as it is truly one of her favorite programs.  The entire time it was on, she was jabbering at me – telling me about different friends, certain plans, responding to whatever might ail her, personality traits . . . on and on.  The entire time she was talking to me, she would also respond to the T.V. 

“No!  That isn’t right!  Why do people do that?” and then she would turn back to me, “. . . anyway . . .” and continue her thought.  She never once asked, “What was I saying?” 

At one point Jenna asked if she could remove the closed caption as it wasn’t running in sync with what was being said.  How could she possibly know that? 

I’m not certain how the topic had even come up, but I had told her about a murder that happened in the church parking lot when we were living in Kearns.  She was only three or four at the time.  Of course she wouldn’t remember.  She started crying.

It was nice to hear her enthusiasm.  She is more important to me than any program could possibly be.  I did find it amazing that she was able to enjoy the program though while I barely knew what the story focus was.  I did not see – let alone hear most of it.  I think only one story was new and the rest I had seen before – but still.  I do not have Jenna’s identic memory either. 

In preschool, she’d get upset that the teachers would mover her “away from her friends”.  I have tried to explain to her that not everybody shares her talent.  “When Miss Shelly is talking, you need to allow your friends to hear what Miss Shelly is saying.  Morgan cannot listen to you and Miss Shelly at the same time.  Kristopher doesn’t know what Miss Shelly is saying if you are talking” 

It really is a fascinating talent.  I hope she may never lose her ability to listen while she talks.  I am floored by this talent.  It is truly remarkable.

A Domestic Goddess, I am NOT

                After we had picked pears in Medford for the Church, we gleaned about four bags of pears for us to take home.  Roland took 24 pears to give to friends he had made at the theater, and  I took 18 to my friends.  Most of the pears were not ripe at the time.  We continued to pass them out to neighbors until they became too ripe.  It got to the point where we needed to do something - such as pear sauce or pear cake or something.  I made pear sauce last week.

                Roland is the one who loves to bake and cook.  I was disappointed that he didn't do more of it during his time off.  I prefer not being in the kitchen for a huge length of time.  But Roland has returned to work and more than just the pears have ripened - but bananas as well.  In addition to our ripened fruits, Jaime and I had picked two buckets of apples - which Roland cored and I cut yesterday.  We're currently drying some apple rings and have put the rest of the pieces (5 1/2 gallon bags full)  of apple pieces probably for pie.

                This morning I baked one loaf of banana bread and started on a pear butter recipe that my neighbor had given me.  She had also given me a sample of the heavenly deliciousness.  Exhausted with my morning workout in the kitchen, I decided I needed a break and went to the pool to relax - or at least attempt to. 

                The pool was a nice temperature, but there was a light wind that made the air too cool for the wet skin to enjoy.

                When I returned home, half of the banana bread was missing, and I decided I would have a slice with Maxine's pear butter (as I had not finished making my own).  I had to fourth the recipe as it called for about 15 pears (I would assume enormous ones) which would add up to about 8 cups of pulp.  I had only 11 pears, 2 unusable, and not many in which the entire cup could be used.  I barely had 1 cup of pulp and 1 cup of juice combined.  I had left it in the refrigerator while I was at the pool.  I think that helped, for when I returned, I used the strainer once more and barely had two cups of sauce.

                I followed the recipe as best as I could.  I was appalled with the tiny amount.  It reminded me of having the juicer and getting only one or two ounces out of 20 apples or whatever else was used.  I had to put a drinking glass in the photo so as

Maxine's nearly gone, mine in the middle is mine did not fill an entire marachino jar. 

 

to prove what a tiny amount it was. 

 

                Jenna and I have been putting the pear butter on what's left of the banana bread.  Delicious.  Still a lot of work though. 

Stickler for Recipes

            Roland brought some ham home the other day and thought about making a sweet and sour with some of it.  We already had sweet and sour chicken leftover in the fridge.  I told him to make ham fried rice.  He said he needed a recipe.  I could not find one that listed all ingredients that we had on hand, and so I printed a couple in order to demonstrate that not all recipes contain the ingredients and that it is possible to alter ingredients.  People make mock recipes all the time. 

  

          I am a substitute who works with what I have.  Roland is a letter-to-the-law recipe follower - even down to the measurements.  I told him to half the recipe that he chose, but no.  He insisted on four cups of rice.  And yet we are only two people - sometimes three, but mostly just two as Jenna is a fussy eater.  The end result was enough to take to a ward potluck - which won't be until next week.  Don't really want a dish to sit around that long before allowing others to partake.

            Fortunately, the missionaries contacted us the following day.  We had forgotten we had signed up to feed them.  In addition to the ham fried rice, Roland was able to make his sweet and sour ham (which is almost gone) and we had watermelon for dessert.  Light and healthy.