Focus on the Positive

 Clean Shower

I suspect cleaner than we moved in

Clair did an excellent job

Biff cleaned the tops of the washer

and dryer

He organized the cupboards

and cleaned the kitchen sink

He makes the best quesadillas

He gives Bonnie baths 

and combs her down

8 out of 34: Not quite 25%

 

I found the above photo on facebook with the caption that the most one might have seen in person from the above list is five.  I have been to eight.  Below I have posted memories and links to those places I have visited.

 

from this post

Statue of Liberty – never been, but I have read countless books on the history of the statue and Ellis Island.

Grand Canyon – went with my family when I was 12 or 13.  I don’t remember a whole lot from that trip.  But I do remember driving to the North Rim with my mom, sister and Grandma.  Some highlights are found in this post. 

Walt Disney World – honestly don’t have the desire.  I’m content with Anaheim’s original Disneyland

Zions – continues with same trip found on this post 

Space Needle – my first time was in June 1982 (see this post) It was probably seven years later when I met up with a friend in Seattle and had gone there with her 

Hollywood Sign – I’m sure I had seen it on one of the many California trips I had taken with my family – I just don’t remember.  Jaime was hoping to see it when we went down there for Labor Day weekend.  Richard and I were even in Hollywood!  But no sign.

Las Vegas – many times.  As a kid the strip wasn’t near the size it is today.  There wasn’t a choice to bypass the town on the freeway.  I relate a story of leaving Corey in LV in this post    Most recent visit was from this post 

 Yellowstone – several times as a youth.  Only a few times as an adult (here) 

Golden Gate Bridge – I was a passenger in the car that took the Oakland Bridge more than Golden Gate, but I believe I had crossed the Golden Gate at some point during my many visits to San Francisco.

Niagara Falls – actually my most recent adventure from this list (here)

 Alcatraz - I'd gone to the island prison only one time; I had gone with a group of theatre students who were completing at Berkley.  1979 probably

my dad in the San Francisco Apt.

 This is quite a long post but does have some amazing pictures of San Francisco (at least in my opinion) written from my brothers point of view, but many of my memories are the same. 

Medford, Ashland and Coos Bay

          In May I was called as secretary to the Relief Society.  Shortly after the new presidency was put in our RS president said she felt inspired to do a monthly temple trip.  We have reserved the second Saturday of each month for the ten o’clock session.  It seems like the most convenient time yet that time slot fills up rather quickly I think the most sisters I saw in attendance was seven and it has tapered off. 

         Yesterday there were only two of us.  I expect it may not kick back up for the next two months as the morning weather has gotten colder and there are many who don’t wish to drive that distance when the weather has turned.

         It was my first time going down without Richard.  I was able to get a ride with the first counselor who was overly thrilled to have the company.  I was also happy for the opportunity as there has always been more comfort in going with another sister than sitting apart from my husband. 

         Jaime had called to ask if we could drop some things off to her and I called the first counselor as we would be down towards that area anyway.  She had been Jaime’s seminary instructor for the first three years that Jaime was in seminary and so was thrilled for the opportunity to see her in her college environment.

         We took Jaime out to lunch to a diner called “Big Al’s”.  It was the first time for all three of us.  The food was delicious and the worker was very personable and friendly. 

 

We enjoyed each other’s company.  Took Jaime back to the campus and went on our way back to Myrtle Creek. I found myself becoming more and more drowsy.  At two o’clock I was in bed and apparently fell asleep sometime between three and four.

         Meanwhile Richard had an adventure of his own as he and our guests headed to the coast.  I don’t think the day lived up to the expectations of what each of them thought.  Biff said he wanted to go swimming but we knew the water would be too cold.  I heard the air was as well. Clair was very tired.  Richard said all three had slept either on the way to Coos Bay or on the return.

         Today I will be conducting RS as our president is currently out of town, our second counselor called in sick and the other agreed to play piano in primary.  We are holding a special fast for a growing ward.  I remember a ward being added to the stake before the pandemic but I fear that perhaps this ward may be in jeopardy of closing and then we will have to drive to Winston to go to Church.

Frustrations and Sirens

 

          Whenever either Jaime or I have financial application or anything that has to do with bank accounts and earnings – well – it brings us to tears.  We are so frustrated trying to answer questions and receiving an email requesting us to fix the errors but neglecting to let us know what the error is – or why it is thought so.  She’s starting her FASFA application for next year.  We have already spent well over an hour with her on the phone and thought we had it all figured out, but both she and Richard received the same email that the info was not complete.

            In order to understand that all were on the same page Jaime called FASFA and made a three way call.  Only shortly after the information had been given we heard a dreadful noise – the sound of sirens squealing in the phone.  Fire drill at the campus in Ashland.  We are in Myrtle Creek.  No idea where the FASFA rep was.

            Unfortunately we were able to hear much of the commotion in Ashland and Richard and the rep were unable to hear each other.  We finally hung up cutting them both off. Jaime was not answering his phone.  Richard did call back and went as far as he could without Jaime.  They are now on a three way call as I write this.  What a royal pain all the way around. Poor quality assurance will experience the same loudness that Jaime did.

            In addition we are having complications with the Alexa app.  Wasn’t there a time when life seemed simple without all the technology?  Still trying to stay focused on our blessings. 

A Constant NEED For Substitutes – Here’s an Idea: COMMUNICATION – What a Thought

               School started about a week before Labor Day weekend.  I still have yet to post the details as we had gone out of town for a belated-graduation-gift/last-hoorah-before-going-off-college fast trip that we took to southern California.  Richard was told that he would NOT be substitute teaching as the school/board/employment office/whatever  had not received all the necessary paperwork – which certainly was NOT the fault of Richard who had submitted multiple times.  So it came as a surprise to both when the phone would ring with information about what districts were looking for subs.

            He’d worked for about two weeks and has actually received a couple of schools directly from schools he had subbed for previously – asking for him personally – but Edustaff has deactivated his account as the paperwork evidently still hasn’t arrived.  Huh??? Get with the program people.  It is no wonder that the districts are hurting for subs if the right hand doesn’t ever know what the left hand is doing.  Too many “so-called” captains and not enough crew.

            I told Richard just forget it.  He wasn’t really happy at it as it wasn’t anything as he had thought.  I think he’s trying to repair things for the sake of the schools.  I understand why the careful selection – but it’s been over four months. Apparently his paperwork is sitting on the desk in some other office - maybe a different state.  IT WAS SENT ELECTONICALLY!!!   Please just get your act in gear.

Handbag With Matching Wallet

  

        This Calvin Klein bag was given to me as a birthday gift.  The giver was quite excited about it and I have made an effort to use it – especially when I go somewhere I expect to see her.  It's not really my style but I do get a lot of comments on it.  Women seem especially impressed by the matching wallet – which is solely a coincidence as it was purchased about two years ago.

        You may remember this post in which I complain about the size and weight of the phone.  The wallet was purchased as a cell phone holder.  I do use it as a wallet – but that really was not its primary purpose.  This bag came with a cell phone holder.  Please.  For certain phones!  Would have worked well for my flip phone, but not the brick I am using currently.  The built in “cell phone pouch” currently holds gum. 

        Not the best pictures, but you get the gist.

Happy Birthday, Babe

 Today is Richard's birthday.  He was surprised to hear John Mayer wishing him a happy birthday on the news this morning.  I thought he'd get a kick out of it.  He and Alley made his birthday cake yesterday afternoon.  Tonight he wants to have a Thanksgiving dinner for his birthday.

More Tears, More Reasons

               This morning Ally decided that she would sit in Grandpa’s chair – even though theoretically it is the best choice for him as it is close to the stove.  He should have not given into her – but wanted to make peace apparently.  He had already confided in me that he thought she was spoiled.  I don’t know how much of that is giving in to her and how much is giving in to the Kabuki syndrome or whatever other illnesses arise.

         He asked her how many eggs she wanted.  She claimed two which he said he would do just one at a time for her.  But he gave her both – none of which she ate.  She did try her sausage but said it was spicy – which I agree.  I am not fond of that sausage.  Clair usually sits next to her to monitor her feeding but as Ally was sitting in Grandpa’s chair and Grandpa was sitting in Clair’s, Ally and Clair were not sitting together. 

        Ally claimed to have had pancakes but no one saw her eat them and there was no evidence that she had.  She appears that she overeats which is actually not the case. She dismissed herself after trying to feed the dogs which I said were not allowed in the kitchen while we ate.  Bonnie is such a loud whiner.  I don’t think I have ever heard any noises (barking included) coming out of Char.

        Ally went to her room to get her electronics.  It is still my house and they need to adjust to our rules and not the other way around.  I told her no electronics at the table.  She said she was going back to her room. Grandpa insisted that she stay at the table until we have each finished.  I can’t control her whining.  I’d just assume she was in a different room than being bratty at the table.  But she’s not mine to discipline.

        Clair said that she would not turn on Ally’s electronic device until Ally was dressed at which point Ally threw a fit.  If that had behavior had been Jaime – I would not be turning on the electronic device at all.  Jaime didn’t even have a cell phone until she was sixteen.  Hadn’t wanted one.  She prefers human interaction to electronics.  Ally doesn’t know how to interact – at least not that I can tell. 

        I unloaded the dishwasher, loaded it, cleaned out the container cubby, and cried.  The second counselor in the RS presidency offered me a place to go if I need a few hours of solace.  I may take her up on that – but not today.  Clair and Ally are suppose to be going out of town today.  Perhaps all three of them.  Going back to Utah to keep an appointment they made six months ago.

        Clair’s been through a lot.  She lost her mother right before her birthday.  She has health issues.  She has more reasons to be upset with our living conditions than I do.  And yet she always appears calm and tends to be the peace maker among the rest of us.  I still cry though.  I don’t want them to be here another ten years like they were with Biff’s former mother-in-law.  Richard says three months.  Now he’s saying two years.  Two years?  Really?  We can’t have them out for summer so that Jaime has a room to return to?

Although I appreciate the Spontaneity, We Really Need to Work on Prioritizing

        We blew the opportunity of picking blueberries for 50 cent per pound.  On Friday night Richard had announced to the troop that we would go pick blueberries the following morning and leave the house by 8:30.  I knew that wasn’t going to happen.  It was a rough night for all of us.

       I was a grouch.  I knew I would be a grouch all day if I didn’t get some sleep.  When I am so exhausted and cannot sleep I tend to cry.  I have cried a lot this month.

       On Saturday the gang did not pick blueberries nor did they go to the Safari.  Richard had decided on a dog park in order to save money.  He invited me to come along and felt disappointed when I chose not to.  He was going to be upset with me either way.  At least by not going I wouldn't be shooting off my mouth to offend. 

         What changed between Saturday and today that he had the gall to suggest taking the gang to Bandon.  Are you kidding me?  They are here to save money so that they can move out.  What are you teaching them taking them to Bandon where we both know we’re going to spend money and throw food away?  Plus we have already missed our window of opportunity to leave in the morning.  If we go in the afternoon we will have to leave in a hurry because we are burning daylight.  We don’t have to go.  There is always next summer. I'm sure they will still be here.

       I know I’m complaining.  It’s already an inconvenience having to step over one dog – but now there are two – not to mention the stuff still in the halls, on the deck, in the driveway, the shed, their room, etc.  I lost my game room in the process.  

    Ally leaves her toys wherever.  And I am appalled at how many half empty water bottles I have found all over the house.  CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES!  I AM NOT THE FRICKEN MAID! And Ally needs to be able to mind without attitude 

       Ally has not started school still.  When she does finally wake up she starts off each morning on her electronics.  Clair seems good about monitoring her - but then she is on her phone looking up times, places, etc. or texting. She never seems to get upset and has a lot of reason to.  She is the peacemaker.  She bridges the gap.  And there is a lot of gap.

       I lived in dorms when I was in college which I think is different from living in a regular apartment.  I have never lived in an apartment before, but feel like I am now.  Two units of people basically keeping to themselves.  We did have dinner the first few nights they were here.  Now they take off and don’t return until Richard and I have already eaten. 

       We’re all inconvenienced except possibly Richard who seems oblivious.  He doesn’t always prioritize either – and so how can we expect Biff when there’s no example to follow?  I think he’s looking to live on free handouts for the rest of his life.  He asked why I wasn’t working.  Richard defended me by telling him it’s because I can’t drive – which is true.  During certain hours that is. 

        Now reading scriptures and trying to calm down.  The Lord has sent me this trial so that I can learn.  I'd just assume not learn.

Let’s NOT Make Plans

           I don’t know what is with Richard making suggestions at every turn.  We all have our own minds and can decide for ourselves as to whether we would truly like to engage in activity or if we are just so tired from the events of the month.

          Besides Richard has a horrible cough.  Ally was coughing last night and Biff’s been coughing.  Hey.  I have an idea.  Why not just rest?  Why not just take a few days to clear our heads and our lungs before we head out to the Safari or Bandon or anywhere else.  And hey.  Why don’t we bring in some income before spending it?

          The blueberry picking didn’t happen until later this season thus the blueberry picking has been extended.  Richard wanted to take the kids blueberry picking this morning.  This morning!  Like that’s going to happen.  Our permanent guests won’t even emerge from their room(s) until after 10:00 a.m.  I would like to accomplished a number of tasks by then – not just start off my day.

          Last night Richard had the most sleep of any human in the house.  I could hear Biff and Clair talking on and off from 10:00 to 3:30.  I knew we wouldn’t be leaving the house when Richard designated.  I think he’s upset and have heard him pull out of the driveway.  I don’t know where.  Maybe to get some medicine to make himself feel better. 

I’d like to return to bed but I’m afraid sleep may not come.  I will turn on the TV.  At this point I don’t even care if it wakes up the others.

Farewell My Sleep, Look Forward to Your Return

          Biff and Clair arrived late Tuesday afternoon and started unloading all that they brought.  All of us were so tired by the end of the night.  Whenever I take a sleep aid I only take half a dose but chose to take the full dose as I expected there would be sounds I wasn’t accustomed to.  I was right.  Oh, my gosh.  A humidifier?  A sleep aide?  Something that vibrated with weird fairy music and rain.  I had heard the rain coming from Jaime’s room many a time as she would turn it on to drown out the roosters.  But there wasn’t the load vibrating hum or annoying music.  What was that?  And was it playing moose sounds? Or was that one of the dogs? 

         I woke up at 1:30.  I doubt I returned to sleep.  I remember getting up just after three.  I was still really tired but my knees needed to bend and the positions I had tried within the bed (in addition to the machine that in reality was quieter than the generator) I finally got up and did not return to be until almost five thirty.  It’s going to be a lllllooooonnnnggg time before I am able to get another good night’s rest.

    I did sleep better last night than on Wednesday.  The air purifier or whatever it is wasn't as loud and no stupid chimed sounds to accompany the other noises. I notice that as the sun starts to rise and other sounds are present I don't notice the sounds from next door.

Like Being in a VC Andrews Novel

               I forget the stuff that hurt me.  Try to shake it off and focus on the good memories.  For instance, when my son got married to Bridezilla (she wasn’t always, but she was that day – as well as several others) my sister sent her oldest daughter to attend the wedding as Bill had agreed to be their photographer.  So we took Anna with us to keep an eye on her.  Jaime and Ester were dressed in purple gowns as they had been selected as flower girls along Jeanie’s two nieces.  Unbeknownst to Jeanie, her mom looked at Anna thoughtfully and asked if she would like to be a part of the flower girl ensemble.  Anna was not wearing purple.  She was dressed in blue and Jaime was thrilled to walk with her as they threw peddles out of a basket.

         It didn’t seem any different than having Ester escorted by her mom.  After all, Ester was only two.  Perhaps Jaime was supposed to assist Ester?  I don’t know.  It was a moment I was grateful for as Anna and Emma both had loud smiles plastered on their faces.  That is one moment I remember about Jeanie’s mom.  There are others.  Thanksgiving dinner, eating after Jeanie’s funeral.  It isn’t as though I had indefinite conversations with either Jeanie or he mother.  It’s not like I’ve had much opportunity to know either one.

         I’d written in an earlier post that Jeanie was the third of five children to leave this mortal existence.  I don’t know about the two older sibs who passed, but I did learn that Jeanie was psychologically messed up.  Turns out her mom is as well.  Oh, I am sure that it is hard to lose a child.  Many have gone through it.  While some have done gracefully, others are at a loss.  She dwells on their memories and tries hard to pass it on to their survivors but has gone about it the wrong way. 

Memories are to be shared not to be used to control – which seems to be her issue.  She hangs onto hateful emails to share with others -  that I didn’t know until this morning when my newest daughter-in-law told me about her experience with the deranged woman. Her husband should have her committed or perhaps her survivors who don’t live in the same state as she.  Perhaps there is a reason they live in different states.  She doesn’t even acknowledge their kids – just the two granddaughters of the deceased. 

Just over a month ago, Clair had had enough.  She told Biff that they needed to move and had gone to Florida to be with her family.  That wasn’t working out for David and now they are here with us.  They pulled up with their belongings which is in the shed, on our front porch, under our car port.  All storage units within a 100 mile radius are full.  Winters approaching.  Their belongings will have to be moved.

What did Biff ever do to go through so many trials? It’s hard to see the blessings as it seems he has constantly jumped around from frying pan to fire to stovetop to oven . . . moving in with us must be so hard for them. Clair is a great mom.  Hope Biff’s former mother-in-law doesn’t try to follow.  Sounds like they will need a restraining order.  The fairytale is over.