Nightmares and Statistics

          It is said that owning one’s own business is the American Dream.  I don’t believe that’s true.  Roland majored in business and would like to start up a business and has had that desire for as long as I’ve known him.  The problem is that over 90% of those who try their hand at business don’t succeed with keeping said business open.  Over 90%!  Holy Cow!  That is not a dream!  That is a nightmare!

          We have been in Myrtle Creek only four years and have seen several businesses come and go -  not that Myrtle Creek is the booming establishment of getting one’s business started.  But still . . . opening a business, regardless of location,  seems like such a gamble to me.  It has never nor will ever be my dream.  And yet it doesn’t seem satisfying to collect a paycheck on somebody else’s dream. 

          I remember when malls were popular.  I remember seeing stores come and go for various reasons.  They weren’t meeting the public’s demands, the overhead was too high, financial obligations much huger than profit. I remember one store that sold cutlery.  They had the nicest personal.  I would have liked to see them make it, but I personally did not have a need to go shopping there daily or even weekly.  There were several shops that did not have the same friendly personal that somehow survived.  Over time the malls seemed to cater more to the posh people one didn’t think would ever dare show up at a mall.  I was never an avid shopper anyway, but over time I really felt like I was squeezing through a crowd of upper class people that I didn’t nor have a desire to relate to.  But it’s not as if my dollar was going to save any single merchandiser anyway.

          Roland will look at buildings downtown or one’s we have seen marked “For Sale” and constantly asks, “What could we put there?  What would work in this town?” I’m certainly not willing to take the risk to find out.  It would be great if Roland could make it on somebody else’s money, but I think we already gamble with ours just with personal purchases.  There’s no way I want to file bankruptcy for something I never wanted to get into in the first place.

         I'm happy  in education where the rewards are students who recognize me outside of the school and will wave to me or express pleasure toward me.  Those rewards are greater than the paycheck.

I Wish I had been a Better Example

            When I married Roland, I not only gained a new husband but three sons as well.  At the time they were 11, 14, and the 12-year-old had just turned 13.  They are now 29, 31 and 32.  My eldest two have no concept of money.  My youngest consider money a huge priority.  My eldest and youngest boys have had a number of jobs for different reasons.  Biff either can’t hang on to a job or gets bored with it and finds something else never allowing for the opportunity of benefits – like dental insurance.

            The youngest one came home from his mission and decided he was going to go to BYU and major in business.  He decided to take a job at a local credit union.  He was there for six weeks and decided to find a job that would pay more.  He decided he would be a doctor, a podiatrist, a surgeon, a heart doctor . . .  he never landed on one thing long enough to benefit.  He and Roland should have graduated from school at the same time.  Roland now has two degrees.  Randy has none.  But hey, he has been able to get jobs that pay more and he doesn’t have to work so hard at being stuck in school for the duration of his life.

            He moved his family of three into a four or five bedroom house in Eagle Mountain.  He wanted us to stay with him during Christmas so he could show off his new house.  I didn’t care if I saw it or not.  I figure he would not be there the next time we saw him.  He always has to upgrade after less than two years.  He always desires for a better and bigger toy, house, car, money . . . he has been at his house for less than a year and is now on the market because he and his wife will be moving to Buffalo, New York.  He had been sent there to interview for a job.  He is so excited about all the money he will be making.  30,000 dollars more than he is making now.  Big whoop.  He isn’t comprehending that he will most likely be spending more than that with the cost of living.  I don’t envy him.  I pity his frame of mind. Randy had all the integrity of so many politicians.  I am actually surprised he is following through with moving and not just talking about it anymore.

            My eldest two boys have no clue how to budget.  Thankfully, Tony’s wife knows how to get more mileage out of their dollars than does the average person. She married Donald Duck who has been on probation from the company he works for.  He was written up for flipping a rubber band at a co-worker.  Not exactly a mature move on his part.  He’s afraid he’s going to get fired – and right after he was promoted.  He can’t afford Randy’s house.  Biff and Tony together couldn’t afford Randy’s house.  But he needs to move to a three bedroom house preferably – not another apartment.

            The boys often call Roland for advice but haven’t seemed to follow through and so I don’t know why they ask.  Perhaps they just want Roland to agree.  I wish there was a solution for us all. 

The Word: Crazy

          Grocery Outlet opened a location in Myrtle Creek.  On Thursday morning they had an open house which started at 9:00.  According to an employee there, people started lining up at 5:00 a.m.  That's crazy!  Driving to unfamiliar territory without a GPS - also crazy.

           Some people are offended by the word “Crazy” while others find humor in the word and may even feel honored that “crazy” was the adjective chosen to describe them.  I think of Jenna and my brother-in-law Bill as being crazy.  “Crazy” is unique or silly and a brief description of their fun behavior.  It’s not a word I use to imply insanity or being deranged . . . at least with them.  Not in a negative way, at least.

            I have played the card game crazy eights and a similar game called “Crazy Countries” 

http://beneaththewraps.blogspot.com/2014/02/learning-geography-part-2-south-america.html

            Crazy may imply that one is a fanatic about something. 

“Boy Crazy”

“Crazy for pineapples”

“Crazy about looking for bargains”

“Working like crazy”

I do tend to use the word “crazy” meaning “insane” more when I am describing those in the paragraph I used to start out this post or gambling or those who choose to climb Mount Everest or purposely perform, what seem to me, like foolish tasks that could get a person killed – like purposely jumping out of a plane without a parachute in order to test one’s homemade wings (or something like that) or all those astronauts who have boarded a rocket to head for the unknown.  I also think it is crazy for people to camp out for concert or sport tickets, sales or parade seats. 

I thought it was insane that a traditional school would still be in session in mid-June the first year we had lived in Oregon.

I suppose my reference to labeling the weather “crazy” may also have implied insanity.

Daisy & Jaime May 2005

I called our first dog crazy when he would jump up and catch darts in his mouth.  I called our dog Daisy “crazy” because it rhymed.

            Procrastination drives me crazy.  I’m definitely not meaning in a silly way.                
            I suppose dementia is a form of crazy.  From personal experience the “crazy” definitions all came out at once:  so many times the distortion was infuriating, but sometimes things were said that made me laugh or smile because some of the situations did seem a bit humorous.

Crazy also appears to us in fairytales.  The mad hatter from “Alice in Wonderland” was deranged.  He was crazy.  His daughter, introduced in fiction this century, seems to be missing some realities in her mind and doesn’t quite have a grasp on certainty.   And what is up with “the dish ran away with the spoon“?  That is a crazy concept.      

Sometimes we get caught up in Church callings and wonder what the Lord is thinking – or wonder if it’s time to get out before we make ourselves crazy trying to fulfill a calling that we really don’t want.

I’ve had crazy dreams – that is they have been strange, possibly insane, but mostly just unrealistic.

            We refer to “crazy traffic” or “crazy drivers” associated with insanity.
             Sometimes there are situations that "drive us crazy".  

            The word “crazy” has different meanings.

Dash #683 What Makes You Laugh?

             When Jenna and I trip over our tongues and say things incorrectly (or just when I hear things incorrectly) we will laugh.  For example, she once said, “I talked to this about dad” instead of “. . . dad about this”.  We usually catch ourselves before the laughter comes.

              I heard a country song the other day.  I don’t listen to country and my hearing has seemed a little off since May.  I was pretty certain that I had heard incorrectly and asked Jenna, who seems to have radar hearing when it comes to music and lyrics.  “Did he just sing ‘How can my cow use my cell phone’?” at which point she started laughing and that made me laugh.

             We’ve got some inside jokes that will make each other laugh.  Well, I don’t exactly laugh when she says “raw rhubarb” but rather will make a face which will make her laugh.  

She will also laugh at the words “elbow” and “sexy ears”.   I don’t know why. 

           Whenever I am feeling a little down she will start with singing The Outfield’s “Your Love” parody from the Bounce commercial (here) because the I laugh whenever I hear it.  Listening to Jenna or her brother Tony laugh puts a smile on my face.  Remembering times when I’d be watching TV in one room and my dad in another laughing in appropriate places but knowing we were watching two completely different programs also makes me smile.

           There was also that time when Daisy ran toward the TV to pounce on the computerized unreal-looking Garfield.  That was funny.  

Only Tony and I were there to witness our crazy lazy dog.  She was usually quite mellow.

                I also enjoy wit in making any situation a comedy.  I still laugh at various episodes of “The Big Bang Theory” and various gag reels from clean comedies.  I enjoy laughing.  I enjoy laughing with my pool friends.  I enjoy laughing with Jenna.

Riddle's Sawdust Jubilee

Two years ago next month, libraries across Douglas County were making attempts to reopen their doors in time for the Summer Reading Program.  We marched with our group for the Rodeo parade (here) and Jenna enjoyed herself immensely during Summer Fest when the “Friends of Myrtle Creek” set up a booth in order to raise awareness that the doors would be open again.  The team had set up two activities: knock down a paper cup pyramid or paint a rock.  Jenna believed in giving deals to those who wished to do both.  She had a real knack for recruiting people.  Those on the board were anxious to keep her on around the clock and Jenna enjoyed being there.

We’d gone back the following year to assist, but we couldn’t find a booth for Myrtle Creek.  We did find one for the Riddle Sawdust Jubilee and we volunteered to help. Jenna and I met Annie at the booth last year. Once again, Jenna helped recruit and assisted with games which Annie very much appreciated. She asked if Jenna would help out at the Sawdust Jubilee the following summer – this year – today.  Annie asked if Jenna would round up participants for a water balloon toss and a watermelon eating contest.

Riddle starts off their Jubilee with breakfast at 8:00.  We did not go that early, however.  The parade does not take place until 11:00.  Jenna and I arrived in Riddle just before 11:00.  We saw some of the parade and went in search of Annie.  I had been afraid that Jenna and I would not arrive in time due to camp, but as I collected her yesterday we were able to honor the committed time.  Though we were there for three hours, I think our pretense for one would have been sufficient.

All week it has been really cool and awesome weather – though the rain may not have been as welcome for the Jubilee. No chance of that today!  It rose back to hot again – though there have been moments of light breezes throughout the day.  I wonder if it was the wind that was interfering with my being able to get the Internet service earlier today.  Anyway, it was hot and when the watermelon contest was over I opted to go home, but Jenna stayed long enough to view some collections with the bishop’s wife (who also teaches seminary) and she brought Jenna home.

I don't know how many years the Jubilee has been going.  Annie said they used to do it on the 4th of July but because many of the volunteers had jobs in which they were required to work the next day, it became an inconvenience for many involved and so they changed it to the Saturday before the 4th.  According to NewsReview (here) the city wanted to change it in recognition of the city and not just Independence Day.  Perhaps there's a bit of truth to both.

The Jubilee ended at 6:00 – at least the concessions and demonstrations and so forth.  Tonight they will shoot off fireworks at the high school.  I will probably be in bed.

Well That Was an Interesting Drive

          I had gone to the pool on Tuesday and Wednesday.  Wednesday was colder than Tuesday had been – perhaps warmer with air but cooler with water.  I didn’t bother going yesterday and didn’t seem all that motivated.  I figured as the air felt cold (only 52 degrees) that the water would feel warm.  I never did find out.

          I did drive to the pool.  My phone went off just before I turned in to park.  I thought perhaps it was the instructor telling me that nobody showed and would ask if I was on my way.  I was all prepared to tell her to get an early start on her trip to Portland.  But the phone number was for the Young Women’s camp leader.  Oh –oh.

          She said Jenna had been throwing up and would I like to come and get her or have her weigh it out.  We have both made a commitment to help with the jubilee tomorrow afternoon.  If I went to get her and she was feeling better, I knew she would make it in time for the Jubilee whereas I wasn’t certain what time she would get home otherwise.

          I asked Roland if he wanted to go with me.  He is a better driver than I, but actually did not sleep all that well last night and was up early this morning.  My right leg has been bothering me and the drive did not help matters.  I stopped at every rest stop between my house and the camp.  I picked up some Ben Gay at a Dollar General in Criswell.  2.50 for a generous sized box – I thought.  I guess I was looking at the wrong price as the total was almost twice the amount. 

I asked if there was a public restroom in which I could apply the contents before I got back on the road.  As I said, the box was a generous size – the tube was not.  It was the smallest tube of Ben Gay that I have ever purchased!  It looked like a “trial-sized” tube.  I reapplied it to myself each time I stopped.  It’s a wonder there is anything left.

I looked at where the camp was on the map and thought I could figure it out and figured I would set the GPS as I got closer to my destination.   Unfortunately, I had missed my turn after I decided to set it.  No harm was done, but I probably did go about 40 miles or so out of my way, though the drive was pretty.  And had actually enjoyed it more than the actual route.

          I listened to two Contemporary Christian mix CDs on the way up and ended with Suessical.  On the way home Jenna and I listened to a couple of CDs that we had not listened to since her early childhood.  It was fun watching her sing along and act out the words.  I think she enjoyed them more today than she had when we had listened to them when we lived in Kearns.

          We hit all the rest stops on the way home and stopped in Sutherlin's Dairy Queen to get an expensive bite (mine was not so bad, but the item she selected was a bit pricy) She told me about camp and we made it back home in record time. 

Word: What’s an Ebenezer?

The only association I remember having with the name “Ebenezer” was the character Ebenezer Scrooge from Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol”.  Thus when I saw that word in “Come Thy Fount” (here) I questioned its meaning.

I have looked up the word and have done some research as to why the Hebrew word Ebenezer translates into “stone of help”.  Evidently, it has something to do with the ark of the covenant and the gratitude of the Israelites who had lost but gained back into custody.  Samuel evidently raised a stone as a symbolic gesture.  This was done in recognition of receiving assistance from God.

Then I questioned what might have possessed Charles Dickens to give his character that same name.  Was it because Scrooge had the feeling of a stone?  He didn’t appear to be at all helpful to anyone in the beginning of the story. 

According to the Mierriam-Webster the word Ebenezer (which generally is capitalized) has two meanings.  The first is a commemoration of divine assistance.  The second is Anger and Temper.  That would describe Ebenezer Scrooge in the beginning. 

Interesting . . .

Why was That Song Stuck in My Head

          My mom told me that Flamingos’ hit “I Only Have Eyes for You” had been playing the first time she kissed dad. Therefore she had dubbed it “their song”.

          Roland and I had an appointment in Medford on Saturday morning. The entire time we were driving he was listening to a book on tape and I was hearing the Flamingos singing, “Are the stars out tonight?  I don’t know if it’s cloudy or bright.  I only have eyes for you dear” 

          Once in a while, I would hear, “. . . they all disappear from view” which I don’t believe comes until the end of the song.  And I’m wondering, “Where did this song even come from that it would be trapped in my head?” and “Why can’t I shake this off?”  I mean 90 plus minutes is a long time for the same set of lyrics to be playing in one’s head over and over again.

This video was posted to YouTube a month before my mom passed away

Dash #191 My Favorite Martian

I recall a time when Grandma Helen had taken Michelle and I to a downtown department store.  She had given us each a dollar to spend on whatever we like.  I fell in love with a plastic bank that resembled a Martian caught in a bag of Money.  It was 2.00.  Michelle wanted a Skipper doll which she said she’d be getting from her other grandmother and she would lend me her dollar in which to purchase my beloved bank (whom I named Michael).

I don’t know where my grandma had gone as we were ready to make our purchase.  The issue of leaving children alone in the department store did not seem to be a huge safety concern as it is today.  I took the bank up to the counter.  The cashier rang me up.  The total came to $2.06.  I was eight or nine and had not considered a tax fee.  Why would I?  I didn’t have six cents to spare! 

A kindly man took a nickel out of his pocket and placed it on the counter.  One cent more to go. The cashier decided to spot me a penny.  I was so excited.

I don’t have an actual picture of Michael and so created this from memory.  I had Michael until two years before Jenna was born.  Our house had been broken into when we lived in Kearns and Michael was stolen. 

Love is a Wrench

She became aware of boy/girl relationships during middle school.  She thought they were stupid.  All the emotions.  All of the game playing.  All of the drama.  The entire idea of relationships was stupid.  They did not appeal to her and she was fine and secure on her own.  She remained that way throughout middle school and her freshman year.

Then came summer.

They were friends.  There were generally four of them who hung around one another during lunch.  Not necessarily to eat, but to play games and enjoy one another’s company.

He really liked her.  First as a friend.  Then maybe something more.  Not too much more.  He had been in a relationship before.  He did not need another.  And yet he found her to be adorable.  He liked holding her hand and leaning on her.  What’s more, he enjoyed it when she leaned on him.

He told her that he would not date her.  Or at least he would not be the one to ask her out.  But he might say yes if she asked him.

Awkward!

With the ball in her court, she did not know what to do.  She liked him as a friend.  Perhaps something more.  She enjoyed holding hands. She liked having his arm around her.  But they were just friends.  She did not wish to become involved in a relationship that would cause emotions and possible drama.  Yet she knew that she too had already developed feelings beyond friendship.  

She did not particularly wish to date him.  But she did wish to continue hanging out.  Why do relationships and emotions have to be so complicated?  It was barely the beginning of summer.  It was not as if they were an item or anything.  But perhaps they could be.

He thought that she was indecisive.  She was.  She had never been involved in a relationship beyond friends.  Nor did she particularly want to be.  She enjoyed being friends.  She also enjoyed holding hands.  She had also found that she somehow enjoyed the idea that he liked her more than just a friend because she had too. But she looked at the new emotions as a wrench being cast into the relationship.  Why complicate things?

Thus they started their summer together . . . as friends . . . perhaps a little bit more.  But not too much more.  Oh, why these stupid emotions?

            I like how Nancy Drew said: “Can you tell when a girl looks at you and is thinking how much she likes you and is wondering if you like her and thinking how important it is for you to say how you feel before she says anything more about how she feels about you or anyone else they might be jealous of because she's already said how she feels how she's said in her own way?”(2007 Movie) 

           I remember when Biff was hanging out with Paula.  They may have held hands at one time or another.  They may have kissed during the first five years but for the most part, their friendship was platonic.  They were friends.  She came to his wedding when Biff and Jeanie were married.  She also attended Jeanie’s funeral.  They keep in touch through facebook.  Still friends but definitely not intimate.  Right now he is with Claire.

“Love is the feeling you feel when you are feeling the feeling that you have never felt before” – unknown

It is great when both parties involved feel the same way about one another.  At the same time, it is nerve racking when feelings develop beyond friendship.  Love is stronger than like.  Love means more than “really really like”.  Love involves commitment.  Who needs that?

Stupid emotions.  Complicated relationships.  Blech!

Yard Sailing

                Today is the 4^th annual city-wide yard sale.  It’s cooler than it has been in prior years but hotter than it has been all week.  A lot of baby stuff up and down the city drive.  I didn’t realize there were so many babies in the city as this seems to be more of a senior populated town.

          Roland and I ended up leaving our own city and making an excursion between Winston and Roseburg.  We ended up with an entire dinette set (though we had initially only wanted a table) and he spotted these adorable dishes that was a reminder of the first dishes that we had ever purchased together – but a more complete and bigger set.  That would mean getting rid of ALL the dishes that are currently in our house to make room for more dishes that we really don’t need, but it was a beautiful thought.

          Roland does not wish to move again.  At the same time, I think he does.  I am kind of the same way but would like to see Jenna finish high school where she is currently at.  She says she would prefer finishing high school there.  The biggest draw for her would be to move to somewhere smaller – but I think her academics are limited as it is.  I think somewhere smaller would make it even more limited.

We Have a Pill for That

          Several years ago my friend Peggy had gone to several doctors with odd symptoms that no one could seem to figure out.  Out of frustration, she did her own research.  She checked out books from the library (because this took place long before Google existed) and spent countless hours at the library until she thought she had figured it out and reported back to her doctor and said, “This is what I have.”

          Fibromyalgia wasn’t a word associated with the 20^th century as it is today. Commercials now are exploding with drugs and advice to “ask your doctor” – not that the pills will cure you.  They will assist with whatever ails you while we sit back and collect cash.  Hey, and if it doesn’t work out to all expectations, there are also ads inviting us to join whatever bandwagon the attorneys may have set up so that we can sue whatever company for making us sick.

          It blows my mind that the FDA has approved all these “miracle” medications that help our heart, diabetes, chronic breathing, both physical and emotional pain, depression, bladder issues, stomach cramps, birth control, and anything else you can think of.  This century (thus far) has conditioned us to take drugs, sue companies, and stay home and glue ourselves to the internet.

          Jenna will borrow my phone and show it to her friends.  “Do you guys want to see a dinosaur?” she’ll ask.  The very idea of a flip phone is quite laughable to them.  I remember a time before flip phones.  I remember a time before cordless.  I remember being charged more for other area codes as they were long distance.  I remember cigarette commercials.  I remember the glamour that marketing tried to convince went with the tobacco products.  I remember reading an article about 5 different spokesmen for different brands of cigarettes.  When the article was published all had passed away from distorted breathing or heart failure except for the Marlboro man who at that point was existing in an iron lung and death was hovering over him (and had been for some time; See examples here and here).

          Where is our focus?  What are our priorities?