Watching "Little Shop of Horrors" always brings a smile to my face

          "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" was released in 1986.  I remember going to the theater with my mom and brother Patrick.  I don't understand why my dad wasn't with us as he seemed to be a fan of "Star Trek" 

                   

          We were still in line when we heard that "Star Trek" had been sold out, but my mom really wanted to see something and so we continued to stand in line.  

          As we approached the booth, and had a better view of titles and times, Patrick suggested that mom might like "Little Shop of Horrors"  He didn't really know much about it except for it was a musical.  I really don't think he was aware of the bizarre plot involved.

          There was a dark horror/supposed comedy released in 1960.  The full length feature can be found here.  I don't know who thought to turn it into a musical.  Still bizarre - but it works.

          I don't know that I smiled the first time I watched this, or even why I watched it again.  I am certain my mom and I both wore expressions somewhere between confusion and disbelief - not horrified exactly - but shocked maybe?

Mom and I may have worn similar expressions
I thought it would be funny to use Kirk as Star
Trek had been the initial intention

          I smile now - for so many reasons really.  But when the movie initially starts, and the three girls are dancing in the rain,  that's when the first smile comes.  It's not the scene itself but rather the memory that makes me smile. 

          I was taken aback by the outlandish dresses and perhaps the music itself.  I hadn't known what to expect, but was definitely not prepared for what took place on the screen.

          Another memory that puts a smile on my face is when Patrick's family joined mom and Kayla and me as we traveled to Bakersfield, California to go see [Corey] perform as Seymour in the stage version.  I had seen the 1986 movie a few times before seeing the stage production.  I hadn't realized how some of it would be different.

          There were at least three musical numbers that hadn't made it to film.  My nephews Kimball and Brian memorized the song "Mushnick and Son" as though it was one that they had performed many times themselves.  They would try mimicking the dance that Corey had to learn.

not Corey or even Bakersfield for that matter

          Corey's strength does not lie in his ability to dance - or so he believes.  The way he describes himself just makes me laugh. 

          The plants (or Audrey II(s)) had been borrowed from another performing company.  There were four of them.  Two hand-held puppets, and two larger full-body props.  Although Patrick and Sunny had prepared their three children ahead of time - telling them that this entire concept was just pretend, Brian freaked.  He was fine with the plant when Corey was controlling it - but Brian literally freaked when the plant got bigger than Corey.

again, not Corey of even the same Audrey II

          After curtain call, our family had been invited back stage to walk through the plant - to prove to Brian that it could be done and that we wouldn't be eaten.  Even Kimball - who had also become frightened of the life-sized plant - took his turn at walking through the Audrey II - but Brian would not do it.

          The director and stage manager decided to make Brian his own plant.  When he was on a break from performing, Corey brought it home and gave it to Brian.  It was the first time Sunny wondered about conflict among her children and hoped there wouldn't be any jealousies or hard feelings with the other two.  I don't think there was.

also an example; the one they sent
did not include teeth

          After we returned home, we had showed the movie to the three kids.  I remember listening to Brian's excitement the first time Rick Moranis came on screen and excitedly pointed at his character and practically shouted,  "That's the guy who plays [Corey]!"

also an expression that may have mirrored the ones
that mom and I wore back in 1986

          The scene in which Seymour drags the body of the dentist down the stairs makes me laugh - now.  I don't think I even smiled the first time I watched it.

              (I couldn't find a picture of dragging the body)

         It wasn't until several years later that Corey had gone on to playing the role of Mr. Mushnick at a different theatre.

once again, not Corey nor members of his cast

       I don't know how old Jenna was when I first introduced her to "Little Shop of Horrors" but she was intrigued.  Full of smiles.  She's always had a healthy imagination and has loved pretending.  Loved watching it over and over and singing.  Still does.

          Funny how this bizarre idea can trigger so many happy memories for me - and I would think several other members of my family.

I've Only Seen This Twice

For the most part, I find commercials to be confusing and/or annoying.  This one truly does bring a smile to my face:

Puzzle Pieces

          My neighbor lost her husband a few months before we had moved in.  He enjoyed putting jigsaw puzzles  together, and had left the earth with a garage-full of 1,000 piece puzzles.  Recently she has gone through his puzzles to donate to senior centers and individuals and has asked Jenna and I if we would like to take some for ourselves.

          The first puzzle that we did worked up rather quickly.  Along with Roland, we worked on the puzzle for three days before it was finished. Jenna asked if we could glue it together and hang it in her room.  And so we did.

          Not all of the puzzles have worked up for us as quickly.  Thus far, it is the only puzzle we have glued. One we didn't even finish.  A couple were missing pieces.  A few were missing pieces before Jenna and I had taken them.  Some pieces fell to the floor as we worked on them.  I think some may have been swept or vacuumed up. 

          I think often there have been puzzle pieces missing from our own lives.  Sometimes we just can't seem to find where the piece goes.  Sometimes they are swept up around us and we just can't find where they have gone.  Sometimes we become so obsessed with finding a certain piece that often we may overlook others.  May we assist others in finding their pieces so that we in turn may find our own. 

This weather is definitely puzzling

          Jenna asked if Roland and I would fill some plastic eggs and hide them in the backyard for her.  But the backyard was wet still.  This entire week we have seen sunshine only about six hours - but not in a row.  Thursday after 3:00 and Friday after 4:00.

          We hid the eggs in the front room and kitchen.  I hid them the way my parents had hid them - in plain sight.  Only the eggs they hid were the hard cooked eggs we had dyed the day before.  I don't recall ever having dyed eggs with Jenna myself.  She has always spent that activity with others - except for this year.

          I grew up on the messy drop solution.  Today my sister uses shaving cream and food coloring for her kids - which evidently is an activity they all enjoy.

          Last year we tried this activity with Jenna. 

          It appears that rain and snow continue in Salt Lake City.    The weather appears to have pleasant on Saturday.  Not here though.  Easter was wet for the most part.  When the sun finally did come out,  the wind was blowing enough to make it feel really cold out.

          Miss being with my granddaughters

Thoughts for Easter

Jenna asked if Roland and I would fill some plastic eggs and hide them in the backyard for her.  I look at her height and think she is too old for this.  But then I think:  We did this for the boys at the time Ooki lived  with our family.  Although I included scriptural references and thoughts to give meaning to the activity as Easter is not about eggs or bunnies but new life in His Resurrection.

            To keep with the true meaning of Easter, I leave you these thoughts:   

The Sun is Taking Its Spring Break

         Mother nature has interpreted  "spring break" to be a week without sunshine - a break for the sun.

         Ever since we moved here, I notice that the rain in Oregon is quite different from the rain in Salt Lake City.

         Salt Lake rain is soaking wet.  You're drenched the second it hits you.  Oregon rain is moist - like having a humidifier running outdoors.  Often I don't even know it is raining by touch or by sight.  I can hear the rain dropping into pipes or puddles.

         My sister posted pictures of the snow that Mother Nature sent them starting their spring.  Right below her pics, a commenter had left another photo of her tree in blossom against green grass which she had taken the day before. 

           I don't think the schools in Salt Lake go on Spring Break until next week.  Jenna's birthday is coming up, and the schools were always out whenever she had her birthday.

         We could never plan for what kind of weather we'd be having on her birthday.  Her friend's birthday falls six days after Jenna.  Lindsey's parties could be planned according to the wither on Jenna's birthday.  Seriously.  Whatever the weather on Jenna's birthday,  Lindsey's was exactly the opposite.  Jenna's birthdays were usually cold and dreary.  Lindsey's mom would invite half the neighborhood over for an outdoor barbeque.  Sometimes it was actually quite hot outside.

         There were at least two birthday parties we had planned for Jenna indoors that came with great outdoor weather - although one had been postponed to almost the end of April.  On those years, Lindsey's birthday party was held indoors due to the pouring rains.  As we will be holding Jenna's birthday in another state this year, and neither she nor Lindsey will be attending the other's party, I wonder if Lindsey's mom will remember to take the weather into account.  I'll have to send a reminder. 

Drop Kick That Blonde Spider

       Recently I had a dream that I was cleaning around the house when I noticed a plastic bag with a collage of items inside.  I was startled to see a rather large spider crawling toward the top.  Of course I freaked.  This was not any ordinary spider - it was one that would be displayed at a zoo or museum because of its enormous size - 2-3 times larger than the tarantula.  And dirty blonde.  It was creepy.

       I thought by sealing up the plastic bag, I would have better control over the fate of the spider, but it managed to escape - which of course made it more scary.  Though it appeared to be larger than many rodents, it moved quickly and I didn't always know where the spider was.

The spider I dreamed was more blonde (not as much brown) but the size
is about the same.  Too many pictures to wade through.  I still have chills.

       It's not something I could scoop into a glass and set free. I knew in order to kill that thing, I would have throw a dictionary on top and proceed to stomp on the dictionary and still would be too scared to lift the dictionary back up for fear the spider would still be alive. If I left the dictionary in place I would not be able to sleep - wondering how long it would be before the spider found the strength to move the dictionary and wander off.

       It seemed I was experiencing this spider-turmoil all night long.  There was a point I questioned as to whether I had dreamed it or if it was real.  Of course it was a dream - and it probably wasn't even that lengthy of a dream.  I wondered if maybe it wasn't/isn't symbolic of the relationship I am currently experiencing with my eldest daughter-in-law (Biff's wife) who has managed to turn herself into Roland's ex shortly after giving birth to my currently youngest granddaughter. 

       The blonde spider may be symbolic of the turmoil that I had felt at the time I had the dream (back in December) or stirred up anger I have toward bullying and irrational behavior.  I want that blonde spider out of my life.

       As I copied to post, I read this thought from the blogs that I read.  Thank you, Debbie Crews.

What about Pamprin?

          

      It’s not that I favor Francis over Pamprin or that I feel that I know her better.  Truth is, I probably have more memories (both positive and negative) of Pamprin than I do of Frances.  It’s just that as Frances and Jenna share so many physical features and personality traits as mentioned here:

     

            Jenna does not share the same laugh, which I'm grateful for.  Frances had an obnoxious laugh.  It came out as a really loud cackle.  I don't remember Pamprin ever laughing although she did smile a lot.  Randy, Pamprin and Jenna (each the youngest of their birth moms) all have dimples on their faces.  Biff, Frances and Jenna (each the eldest of their birth moms)  all have brown eyes

      Our visitations were supposed to be every other week with both girls.  I don’t recall them staying overnight more than just once a month – maybe ten times out of the year?  Their mom was crazy in the head and had come to the point of actually believing her lies.

      Before the courts granted overnight visits, there had been the first few visitations when I thought Frances was the one who acted like a brat - doing whatever she felt like doing and never minding us.  
      We had taken the girls to a park where Ooki was meeting with other foreign exchange students for a Halloween themed event.  Frances joined in with all of their activities - including taking pictures with the students who were well over ten years older than her.  She didn't care. Perhaps it was just the age.

              Pamprin was a spoiled brat that often got her way – especially whereas her mother was concerned. She would milk any given situation if she knew it would earn her attention as mentioned in this post

      I had dropped off five of my children to a summer event.  Jenna wasn’t even walking at the time, and I didn’t wish to supervise the girls at the activity while trying to watch Jenna in a crowded area.  Pamprin evidently  twisted her ankle while attempting to ice skate. 

            I was called to pick her up and I remember her brothers pushing her out in a wheel chair.  She had a devilish smile on her face which reminded me of a spoiled rich girl who gets satisfaction in bringing  others down – though Pamprin didn’t really intentionally put down others, she had the desire  that everyone pay attention to her at all times

            Then came a time when Frances would visit by herself.  Pamprin didn’t want to come and so her mom would make excuses. Frances wanted to spend time with her brother, Tony (the only one of the three boys allowed to be present for a long while - another sore subject which I won't go into) and getting  to hold her sister.

            I was okay with Frances coming by herself.  It was less confrontation with just her than when her brattiness (sister) painted pictures for her mother that simply weren't true.  Truthfully, there isn't much I remember about our visits with Frances only.

           

            Then came the time that Frances no longer wished to visit.  Fortunately it seemed that their mom could only brain-wash one of them at a time.  Perhaps Frances was physically sick – but I think most of it was psychological.  She said she had fibromyalgia – whether she really did or not, I don’t know.  Every time we saw the girls they always had something.  Often there were allergies that changed with each visitation.  Granted, both girls were on meds – generally from different doctors.  I remember a time when Frances was taking a pill to put her to sleep and another one to wake her up.

            It wasn’t long before Pamprin became the responsible one – the most mature of the three of them.  She was only eleven.  Frances holed up at her mother's house for a year claiming she was home schooled.  I don’t know who supposedly home schooled her.  I am very certain that it wasn’t her mom.

           Pamprin actually enjoyed her visits with us.  I was under the impression that she didn’t want to leave.

           She was very cute with Jenna, pretending to search for her while playing hide-n-seek.  She would loudly ask, “Is she in the washing machine?” as she lifted the lid.

            Jenna would be laughing so hard that it was quite obvious where she was standing, but Pamprin would play the game.

            I have memories of the two of them coloring and applying make-up to one another.  Pamprin was with us one Easter and we took her and Jenna to an Easter egg hunt and a Dr. Seuss birthday party.  Pamprin had learned to make animal balloons and utilized her talents to make balloon animals for several of the patrons at the Dr. Seuss event.                   

   

            Both girls read to Jenna and fed her, but Pamprin and Tony were the only two of the five sibs who would change her diaper.

            Pamprin enjoyed singing, and perhaps Jenna picked that up from her.  I enjoyed her visits more when Frances had stopped coming.

            Frances was the only sib who didn’t help with putting Jenna’s fort together.   Whenever we did see her, she wasn't at all active.  She always seemed in a slump that she didn't appear to even overcome.  She reminded me of Eyore from this post

                 I have managed to find Pamprin on facebook.  I haven't requested a friendship with her, but do occasionally look at her wall and wonder how she and Frances are doing.    I don't know if we will ever reconnect.         

       

By Appointment Only

         Recently I was contacted by the American Red Cross to donate blood.  Roland gets contacted every two months - like the American Cross has preprogrammed for automatic dial.  With me, it really is a matter of desperation.  Roland's blood type is in the rare percentage that can be used on babies.  I don't know who may have ended up with my blood.  Somebody who needed it - but not in major quantity.

         The last time Roland had been contacted, he learned that there would be a blood drive at the local high school.  He told me about it and had actually made appointments for both of us. Or at least that was my understanding.

         So when I was contacted, I told the caller that I already had an appointment.  Two days later I was told there would no longer be a drive at the high school, but that I could donate in Canyonville that day or at the Elk's Lodge her in Myrtle Creek today.  Thursday is Roland's late day, and so I did not think that would work for him, but he thought he would be able to do it during his lunch hour.  Say what?

         As I recall, it was a dreary day when I received the call and I didn't particularly want to drive to Canyonville in that kind of weather.  So I set up the appointments for today.  I just couldn't remember what time.

         Thus I drove there this morning and was told that my name had not been added to the list and that the list was full and they would not be receiving walk-ins.  Too bad.  Somebody didn't communicate very well.  Meanwhile they lost two others that had come as walk-ins and lost two unable to keep appointments.

         Four chair/beds were set up for donators. I think the same amount of booths for screening.  Unfortunately for all of us, this particular chapter seemed to be quite understaffed - even for those that did have appointments.  Too bad.  The two men that were there looked capable of finding my veins right away (which seems to be a challenge to almost everybody who has poked me)

         I guess we'll have to try again later. I know that blood is needed.  Apparently even blood like mine.

Breakfast For Dinner

        Missionaries appreciate not only meeting the members, but having someone cook dinner for them - or at least I did.  Depending on the area,  I suppose there are some meals that can get tiresome for missionaries.  Spaghetti seems to be a huge staple.  Missionaries seem to get their fill of pizza in the ward I currently reside.  In my mission, the meal that was overdone always included fried chicken and some unidentified vegetable that had been boiled beyond recognition. 

        Serving chicken was so overdone that before my mission ended,  I was certain that I wouldn't care if I ever ate chicken again. And I think it was seriously a couple of years before I willingly ate it again.

        Roland always likes to do something different for the missionaries - something original that they (the missionaries) don't get very often.  We've had Hawaiian haystacks (we've actually had other members tell us how much the missionaries raved over that one), steak, meatloaf and one Jenna's favorites: breakfast.

        Although we weren't signed up to feed the missionaries until last night, Roland thought we should time ourselves the night prior just to see how long it took to make it all.  We had blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, hasbrowns, assorted muffins and juice.  Elder Campbell gave us the thumbs up.  The meal was quite a success.  Jenna missed having French toast, but really . . . that was a lot of food.

        We used paper plates and cups but not  disposable pans or serving dishes.  The sink was quite full like would be on Thanksgiving.  I haven't yet finished the dishes.

        

A Month For Celebration

           

            On the first week of March, many public libraries sponsor children's programs and have birthday parties in honor of Dr. Seuss.  My eldest granddaughter celebrates her birthday the date after Dr. Seuss celebrates his.

            Stakes and wards from around the world will celebrate the anniversary of the Relief Society organization.  Some have birthday parties complete with food and programs, others offer workshops and uplifting instruction. 

            St. Patrick's Day is celebrated in honor St. Patrick, as a holy day of obligation,  and a celebration of Ireland itself. 

           

            Easter jumps around landing in either March or April.  This year it will be the last Sunday in March.

         

            Both of my brothers were born in March.  We would celebrate their birthdays each month - often individually, but sometimes together.  I remember one year we met at Patrick's house when Corey happened to be in town performing.  Roland's daughters happened to be visiting that weekend, and we took them with us.

          

            Before the party started, I mentioned that Frances also had a birthday coming up.  Both of my brothers were happy to hear of it, and attempted to take the attention of themselves and give it to Frances.  That's actually all that I remember.  

           

            This year Ellen gave birth to her oldest.  He shares his birthday with my brother (his grandfather)

        

            Yesterday was my cousin, Michelle's birthday. 

           

            Today Frances turns 22.  Happy Birthday wherever you are.

according to Frances' mom, [Frances] is
the one who painted this in May of 2009

Mending the Broken

          Yesterday morning was overly dark.  It was cold and raining.  It mirrored the emotions of my heart

          I had heard a quote from a TV show that got me thinking.  The quote was something to the affect of, "sometimes things get broken and sometimes broken things just can't be fixed"

                    There is a number of tangible items that have had to be discarded as they have either gone beyond repair or just don't seem worth the effort.  How blessed we are that we are God's children and are worth the effort of not being broken - though for many of us some trials have made us question our worth.

          Earlier in December, my eldest daughter-in-law chose to not only defriend me on facebook, but block her account as well.  Less than two weeks later, she sent a friend request along with a mountain of apologies and excuses.  She said that her new meds were to blame and made the promise that she'd never again unfriend me. 

          I did believe in her apology for her flippant behavior.  But even before she and Biff wed, she seemed to have a personality that could turn from hot to cold within the manner of seconds.  I'll admit, I do not know her very well,  but I do see her as having unstable behavior.  At least she is seeing a therapist or psychiatrist of some kind - unlike Roland's ex who refused to go back to anyone who may offer any criticism or not agree with her every word.  At least she is trying - or so I'm told.

          I accepted her friendship request knowing full well that I may be blocked again sometime in the future.  The future has arrived.  Not only has she blocked herself, but managed to block Biff as well.  How dare she. 

          Thus far there hasn't been a response to the texts or voicemails that I left for Biff.  If she managed to take his phone away, I don't know how to communicate with him - unless he lets us know how we can make contact with him.

          Before she removed us from her account,  Biff called to explain about his latest - but unfortunately familiar predicament.  We have two granddaughters who were born in August.  They share a month, and Jeanie can't stand that her daughter has the same birth month as her cousin.  They are two weeks apart  and her claim is that everybody in the family loves Devin more than her Ali.  According to her, nobody in Biff's entire family has showed support (which is so not true - or it's been because of Jeanie's incredible mood swings and nothing to do with Ali herself.  Talk about stepping on egg shells - egg shells with rattle snakes in them!)

          I don't know how many times I've been down this road of emotional turmoil and flippant behavior.  I was so hurt and distraught in December.  But this time, in addition to the hurt and heartache,  there is anger.  I have been down this road with Roland dealing with his deranged ex.  I had another unstable friend who displayed childish behavior with her defriending and blocking and changing her mind again until finally I said, "You know what?  I've had enough!"

          Jeanie's behavior is so identical to Roland's ex and to Hitler and Satan.  We don't know our own granddaughter and probably never will just as Roland and I don't know  Francis or Pamprin.  Their mom has used them as leverage to manipulate and control others.  Jeanie is doing the exact same thing with Ali.  Alienating Biff from the family (or at least trying to) and Ali from Biff.

          Both women are cookie cutter molds out of the Grimm's fairytales where there is no hero - only a large fire breathing dragon who has that time of the month all month long - except for that occasional few minutes of remorse.  But it doesn't last.  Sybil goes away and another personality takes over.

          Through God's mercy today's trials can become tomorrow's testimony - should I allow for that.  Right now this part of me feels broken - a part that cannot/will not be fixed.  Not in this lifetime anyway.  I hope I'm wrong.  I hope I live to see Roland's girls and my granddaughter Ali and I hope that their moms' issues may be resolved.  But as of now, I need to put all these negative emotions behind me and allow my focus to be elsewhere.    I would like this heavy weight lifted while I'm still on earth and of sound mind.  My time isn't God's time.  In my mind, it's already been too long.

          If we still lived in Salt Lake, I predict our situation would be worse than just facebook.  I know I would see Devin at least twice a week - more often than Ester and Ali put together.  Not because I'd choose it that way, but because I am actually a priority for Carrie and Randy and have been with all three of my boys.  But I'm not a priority for my other two daughters-in-law - or at least that is how I feel.  Jeanie has had interfering health and Rochelle seems to be afraid of forming bonds or just prefers spending time with her family and childhood ward members. 

           The healing between Jeanie and I is going to be long and slow if at all.