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Showing posts with the label mom

Happy Memories and Stages of Time

 In June 2009 we celebrated my mom's 70th birthday.  Sunny had made arrangements to invite friends and family members to a "surprise" birthday party for my mom. I don't recall how many came, but there was a lot.  Many from the ward, a few from work, and family members - Bill and Kayla had taken several pictures.  I would guess there were 50 - 70 people in all. Corey gave a tribute and several sat in folded chairs that Sunny must have borrowed from the Church.  Mom was definitely surprised and she looked so happy.  She had already been diagnosed with dementia, but it was just the early stages.  She was well aware of what was going on.  And she knew everybody there. Last November - before we put mom into assisted living - she was overwhelmed by the tremendous amount of people at our Thanksgiving dinner - all 18 of us.  So I thought she'd really freak when we took her to the ward Christmas dinner one month later because there were ove...

Another Look at Change

             Mom embellished on her “sky-diving” story – a bit with the realization that jumping out of an airplane is something she would never do.   In this version it was from a commercial airline with mechanical problems.   Mom said she didn’t want to, but it was the crew that had forced all of the passengers to jump.           Harold told his story about going up in a stunt plane that did loop-to-loops.   They had fastened video cameras to each wing and had one in the cockpit.   This filmed every move that was made and then the three films were spliced together.   Harold said he had it on video tape.   But that it does tend to make most people sick when they watch it because it’s like being there.             Corey had explained to the family that there are seven stages of dementia and th...

Apparently He's NOT her Boyfriend

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Today I read a conversation that took place between Corey and my mom.  She's upset that the workers at the facility seem to be sticking their noses into her affairs.  She wants her privacy and doesn't want the world watching her through open windows or open doors.  Therefore she keeps the blinds closed and leaves the door to her bedroom closed because she doesn't want anybody watching her.  Those who do are perverts.  And she swears when she returns to her room to find her blinds have been open.  Evidently she used the word "damn" in almost every sentence she said to Corey this afternoon. Evidently Harold is NOT her boyfriend.  He is an old man.  Mom doesn't even call him Harold anymore.  He is that guy.  He is old enough to be her father - so she says.  I learned that he is twelve years older.  Mom is on the younger end of those who reside at assisted living.  Harold's physical health seems to be far worse than mom's ...

It’s Okay if You Want to Celebrate her Birthday Twice This Month

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          I’m not really sure why I was the privileged one put on the mailing list for Alpine Ridge.  Perhaps I had made the request – but it would have been over four months ago.           I received a letter last month informing me that I would have the opportunity to meet with a director and nurse if I had any questions concerning mom.  I assumed that my three sibs would be getting the same letter.  They never did.           And just the other day, I received a calendar schedule for this month – first one that has come in the mail since January when we took mom there to live.  Really?  I remember asking about them back in March – but I never received a hard copy of one.  I did find one on the web and have looked at it and will still refer to it as I sometimes misplace my hard copy – but I am still puzzled at wh...

A Little Romance . . .

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--> I we nt to Alpine Ridge where mom is staying.   I was surprised to see Harold sitting on her bed and visiting with her.   He was saying that he has six boys – while mom has only four children – two girls and two boys.   But she claims to have a lot more pictures than Harold. I told her I had come to take her to a family dinner – but we had time to visit before we left.   Jenna’s eyes lit up when Harold mentioned Peanut Brittle.   He said he had been in a place before this one and they let him make peanut brittle in the microwave.   But one day the microwave started smoking and they never let him in the kitchen again.   And then he had to move. Jenna absorbed it all – hanging on to his every word.   I decided that his mind works the same as mom’s and his time frame is different as well as some of his facts.   He said he wanted to take mom flying – not that he’s a pilot.   He wouldn’t be driving the plane, but would...

thoughts concerning mom and Tony

Yesterday I took mom to the hairdresser. She said it was nice to see her hairdresser again as she hadn’t seen her for a long time . . . which she hadn’t. As I drove her back to where she lives, she kept on asking who it was that had fixed her hair. At Alpine Ridge she was greeted like a celebrity.  Everybody LOVED her hair. She had to check the mirror again as she couldn’t remember. “Who fixed my hair?” she asked again. There was a noise coming from the next room. The noise reminded me of a single bowling lane.  Mom said she didn’t think that’s what it was. Well, I knew that! That’s just what the sound reminded me of. Mom tells me about the woman in the room next to hers. Apparently they were the first two to live there.  No, not live.  They worked.  But Helen is getting slower.  She has . . .  well, she has . . .  she’s just slowing down. “You’re all slowing down,” I thought.. Mom couldn’t remember the word “dementia...

A Complete Turn-Around

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Over two weeks ago I created this post about my continuing struggle with mom and her childish behavior – which is still there – but now in a more positive light. It was just four days ago when I posted about taking mom to the eye doctors.  It was the day that I left a sign in her room which she now reads on a daily basis and applies it to her life.  I am so completely happy with the results – as we all are – or at least all who have visited during the four days. Mom is more than just content.  She is happy.  Her conversations with each of us have included involvement and the pluses for living at Alpine Ridge and how going “home” would not be a wise thing – after the entire house would be empty – if it still exists. It is easier for Corey to hide his smile behind the phone than it is for me to prevent the silent giggle in person.  She told Corey that she gets three meals a day and “they’re all free.  They don’t charge us a...

Producing Salty Water (and a LOT of it)

          This post reflects stirred emotions that between October and mid December 2012           Poor mom.  For the most part we don’t know where she’s at.  The reality of her world is so far different from our own.           In her mind, she believes that while State Street was under construction, she and all the other residences in her neighborhood were evacuated.  The construction crew had asked them to move somewhere else.  Mom doesn’t remember where it is that she moved – but she is back – along with many of her neighbors.  For a while she wanted to make certain that everybody knows she’s back.  Now she wants to go back to wherever she thinks she lived before.  She doesn’t know the address though – but she says it’s a house.           She called Bill.  She always calls Bill’s cell phone when...

Lucy and Ethel and Dementia

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          Mom and I used to refer to ourselves as Ethel and Lucy, which I have mentioned here              Yesterday we were laughing together.  It felt almost like it had a very long time ago.           Of course I don’t remember all of the conversation – just pieces.  But it went something like this           During the Password game show:           Mom:  “Humphrey.  What kind of name is Humphrey?  Who would name their kid Humphrey?”           I laugh.           “Humphrey.  That sounds like a hump.”           “I never liked the name Dylan.  Whenever I hear that name, I ...

Yesterday's Turkey Dinner

          I started this blog on New Years of this year.  I was faithful to write every single day – or almost every day.  But when school ended, so did my once-a-day posts.  My focus had to be on Jenna.  And when school started back up, mom’s memory had deteriorated and so I seemingly started spending more time with her (especially when Corey had gone back to Las Vegas – where he is now registered as a permanent resident in the state of Nevada) and so I still haven’t gotten back to one a day. Perhaps I never will.           Kayla and her two children met Jenna and me at my mom’s on the Thursday of Thanksgiving.  I had gone because it was my day and we had already celebrated Thanksgiving dinner with the family on the Saturday prior.  Kayla brought her kids because Bill wanted to clean the carpets.           They had left the hous...

Another Visit with Mom

She had just finished eating when I arrive. I don’t bother to ask if she has checked her blood. We go for a walk. I point to a house where a family had lived Many years ago. I asked if she remembers. She says that she does.  That’s good. She didn’t have a clue on Saturday. I take her to my house to eat lunch. I put her at the computer while I prepare the food. She enjoys viewing the pictures that Kayla had taken And had posted to facebook. I make some suggestions on how to complete the day I ask if there is anywhere in particular where she would like to go. She says she wants to go home. Just home. Her mother was a homebody, too. I take her back home with a reminder that I will have to leave again. I have to go pick Jenna up from school.  I’d like her to go with me. She doesn’t want to go. Just as I’m about to leave, I decide I will call Nate and ask if he could pick up Jenna. Nate married my niece.  They live in mom’s basement. ...

And the Hunting Begins

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          Mom is at the point – and actually has been for some time – where she needs 24/7 care.  Oh, there are some days where she actually seems like her old self – someone we could leave alone and believe she’ll be fine for the two hours that she will be by herself.  It’s always another “ personality ” that gets her lost.           So we have taken upon ourselves the dreaded task of looking into assisted living – either or in or out of the house.  Corey would prefer in.  I think it may be time for mom to move on so that we can sell the house as that is what will be paying a good part of the expense.  I had looked into one before – when Corey didn’t believe she was ready.  But I think he’s slowly realizing that he can’t undo the situation at hand and must face the possibility that we will have to move mom. Corey and I went to a fabulous retirement home called “Sunris...

Don’t Yell at Aunt Gertrude

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          Somebody had suggested that someone take a mom for a drive to look at the fall.  Knowing my own vehicle wasn’t going to make it up the canyon (it actually was too sluggish to get near the base) I chose an alternate, perhaps a more scenic route and asked if she would like to visit my 91 year old great-aunt.            Aunt Trudy has ALWAYS been active.  Over the years she has become hard of hearing, but she is still sharp as ever with brand new driver’s license in hand.  She was so excited to see my mom and me (as it has been a while) and we visited just briefly.           “Well, it was so good to see you,” my mom kept on saying – as though we’d be leaving fairly soon.  What was her problem?           Aunt Trudy would ask a question which mom would answer – but in her quiet voice an...