The Good, the Bad, the Ugly and the Beautiful

Jenna does NOT deal with change well.  She is horrible at it.  Horrible.  I don’t even remember what it was she was complaining about last night.  I told her that whatever we do, wherever we live, no matter what, there are going to be some things that we like about our current situation and some things that we don’t. 

I told her to write a list of pros and cons with living in West Valley and with living in Myrtle Creek.  I didn’t suggest for her to include Kearns – after all she was only five when we had moved. There was probably more drama about that move than there was with this last one.

After reviewing her lists, I decided to make some lists of my own.  Thus for this post, I have decided to share each list that was created (or started at least)

Jenna’s pro list for living in West Valley

1)           school friends

2)           church friends

3)           good principal (Mrs. Randolf is truly amazing)

4)           FAMILY

5)           More time with dad (they had actually eaten breakfast together)

Jenna’s con list for living in West Valley

1)           a certain individual from school

2)           church friends live in apartments

Jenna’s pro list for living in Myrtle Creek

1)           same answer as number one on last list

2)           swim lessons (pool in general)

3)           friends made

4)           a library

5)           a bike

6)           good people

7)           Netflix

 Jenna’s Con list for living in Myrtle Creek

1)              mom forced me to be in band before school even started

2)             have to practice the clarinet

3)             missing friends from West Valley

4)             Barely anything to do (EVERYTHING IS IN ROSEBURG)

5)             Missing family

6)             Less time with dad [who’s still working according to mountain time and eats breakfast at his desk or long before Jenna gets out of bed]

My pro list for living in West Valley

1)           public transportation

2)           conveniences (driving locations)

3)           playing games with family members

4)           dual immersion

My con list for living in West Valley

1)           dry air

2)           traffic

3)           construction

4)           small house

5)           no sidewalks

My pro list for living in Myrtle Creek

1)           I can more easily breathe

2)           Low crime

3)           Best house

4)           Strong ward

5)           Opportunities that Jenna will have in this school as opposed to Salt Lake (such as low income rental on instrument and swim lessons that didn’t get cancelled due to a lack of numbers)

6)           Overall friendliness of people

7)           Low key traffic

8)           New Friendships

            9)         that Roland was able to bring his job with us

My con list for Myrtle Creek

1)           windy roads without guard rails

2)           family members live so far away

3)           outrageous water bills

4)           lack of public transportation

5)           library hours

6)           variety

Love the House I Live in

         Though Roland seemed anxious to purchase a house right away, I still don’t know what city I would like to make my permanent resident.  I love Myrtle Creek. Everyone’s been so friendly and it really did not take long to warm up to things.

         Roland has always looked at the house itself.  My primary concern is with the neighborhood, the ward, the area itself.  The house is only secondary.  But I do love this house we’re in right now – though we are just renting and haven’t even bothered looking at a house to buy – though Roland still seems anxious to do that very thing. 

        School is so expensive, and if we can find a home now, Jenna will have a better chance of going to school in Oregon for a much lower cost than her brothers.  MUCH LOWER – but we have to be homeowners.  But I also believe we need to be making more money than our budget allows at this time.  As renters, we do not have to pay property taxes.  I find that to be a plus right now.  

         I do know we’ll need to move eventually.  But let’s let Jenna do a year or two of middle school at least.  I thought I’d want to move her to a bigger high school, but I’m finding that I really like those that graduated from So. Umpqua High.  But I don’t know that I could last six or seven years more in this county.  Eventually I’m going to need to go back to public transportation. 

         I don’t remember yellow flowering plants with thorns even existing when I lived on the east side of state street growing up in Salt Lake City.  But after I got married and moved to the west side, thorns were an everyday part of our life.  Both houses we were in.  We couldn’t help but step of them. 

      They were constantly being dragged into the house and it seemed to house needed to be swept and vacuumed more often, but somehow thorns were always left behind.  I could never go barefoot in the house, let alone outside.  In Myrtle Creek, I’ve been able to do both.  And it’s been wonderful.

       When we lived in West Valley, there was no garbage disposal hook-up.  I am so used to scraping garbage out of the sink and throwing it away that I forget we have access to a disposal in the house where we currently live.

         We also have a place to put our table and call a dining room

         We have a lot more closet and cupboard space and just a lot more space.  It is so awesome to be able to walk from room to room without bumping into walls or furniture because everything is narrow and small.

         We have water pressure!  Something else I have truly missed the last 5 ½ years.  I love being able to do dishes in more than just a trickle of water.  I can even do dishes when the washing machine is running – something I couldn’t even fathom in West Valley. Taking showers is also a lot nicer.

         I had a laundry room when we lived in Kearns, but not in West Valley.  My desire was to move the appliances outside, wall up that area and have more elbowroom.  The washer and dryer are now in the garage where one might think I have more elbow room, but with a refrigerator on one side and a car on the other, the space might actually be tighter than in West Valley. 

         In West Valley my washer opened to the left and my dryer to the left opened down.  It was kind of a bother to attempt to push clothes over one door and hope they would land in the dryer or at least of the door – though I wasn’t happy with having too much weight.  Now my doors open opposite directions.

         I found a system that lessens the inconvenience of having two doors in between the washer and dryer.  I take the clothes out of the washer and put them in the basket.  I put the basket on top of the dryer and clothes the washer drawer.  I move my body over to the tiny space in front of the dryer and take the clothes down and put them inside.  Wish I would have thought to do the same when we lived in West Valley. I’m not complaining because there are so many other features about the house that I love.

         I love having shelves to put things.  I love having a coat closet (not that we’ve had a need for it as of yet) None of the houses I have lived in have offered coat closets.

         I love having access to electronic communication, for I still miss those that we left behind in Utah.  I am grateful that Roland was able to bring his electronic position with him and still has a job regardless of where we live.  

         I love being able to breathe.

Give Me Moist Aire

It’s been an awesome winter

Yesterday we had a storm

Didn't last long, but now

the air is dry.  I

Haven’t had the sinus pain

Breathing’s been nice

Until the

Last few days

My throat is closing

The only way to clear it

Is to make an unattractive noise

I drawing the attention

To myself

But if I don’t make those sounds

I can’t breathe

Why when it snows

Is there less precipitation

in the air?

I am not a scientist. 

I don’t understand

Why the air is so dry.

I’m Floored That She Would Even Remember Me

         Quite recently Jenna had asked me if there were seriously anyone who did not/does not like Santa Clause.  I gave her an example of a girl who used to live in my mom’s ward.  Roslyn hated beards.  She was scared of anyone who wore one – even in pretend. The two top people on her “hate” list were Santa Clause and Jesus – I don’t know if it was that order.

         Imagine my surprise to learn that little girl grew up to be the vice principal at Jenna’s school.  I hadn’t known that when I related the above.  I was assisting at the JA city when Roslyn had approached me yesterday to ask if I was LaTiesha Cannon.  It’s true that I was wearing a nametag with my first name on it.  But still.  I don’t think we’ve seen one another for at least thirty years – not that we had much contact when living in mom’s ward.

         Roslyn had been a sunbeam when my mom was teaching in primary.  I may have subbed in her class a few times.  I knew her as one of the primary children.  I’m guessing we’re at least twenty years apart.  I didn’t think she had even known me at the time, let alone 20-30 years later. I was shocked that she was able to make the connection. I do have the same first name as one of her aunts.  Perhaps that is how she remembered.

         To be honest, I did not nor would have recognized Roslyn – even if I had seen her sitting by her mother.  She had seemed so withdrawn in her youth and had a very low self-esteem. She was still in her youth the last time I remember seeing her.  The person I saw yesterday approached me – something she would never have done in her youth.  We had an actual conversation.  We hadn’t said that many words to one another in the entire time we had both lived in the ward that we had both grown up in.

         Roslyn said she had come – not only because Vantana had a class participating in yesterday’s event, but also because her brother is a director of JA City.  I hadn’t recognized him either.  I think he was still out on his mission when I moved out of the ward.  I might have made a connection with him if I had spent more time with him.  They have a common last name and so maybe not. 

         He smiled when I asked if he was Rob Anderson.  I told him that we had been in the same ward – but it was Roslyn who had made the connection.  I had told both of them that I had recently related Roslyn’s lack of passion toward Santa Clause.  This morning I said to Jenna: “Guess who that little girl grew up to be?”

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda . . . Time Machine

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness.  I give unto men weaknesses that they may be humble; . . .” Ether 12:27

How many of us wish we had a time machine that we might have opportunity for do over.  If only I had made a different choice.  If only I had spent more time (and probably money) perhaps we could have found our runaway dog.  I wish I had been a more positive influence when Roland’s girls came to visit.  I wish I hadn’t left Jenna in all day kindergarten after we moved.

Regrets are demons if we allow ourselves to dwell on what could have been instead of just moving on.  Perhaps we may learn from or see growth from what it is we think we’d like to change.  Allow me to use Jenna’s kindergarten experience as an example.

The school by our first house offered two all-day kindergarten classes.  There were few parents who desired just half day.  The instructors were able to devote more time to their students and the children learned more than they would have in half day.  That is what I was used to.  That is what I wanted to continue with.

But we didn’t necessarily have that option at the second school.  The all day kindergarten program was definitely NOT the same.  I didn’t know that.  Either it hadn’t been explained to me or I just wasn’t listening or I hadn’t understood.  Nor had I prayed about my decision to put her in all day kindergarten.  But even if I had, would the results have been any different?

Jenna LOVED her first school and she tried loving her second.  But she was as a disadvantage as she was so much smarter than the other children who didn’t know how to accept Jenna.  I don’t think they were mean to her necessarily, but they certainly weren’t friendly.  Jenna felt so alone – which she would have in half day as well, but it would have been fewer hours at school and more time with me teaching her at home.

I’ve known all along that it was/is stupid to have this regret.  It has already happened.  I can’t change it.  And yet I realize that without the tragedy of how Jenna and I each felt about her education (or rather lack of) that we would most likely not be where we are today.  For without that experience I may not have searched so hard to find another school.  Nor would I have even considered another school if we were still living in our first house. She’s had many awesome opportunities with her current school that she would have missed out on with the other two. I think it was worth the four month struggle we both faced after we moved.  But it’s taken me a long time to figure it out.

Whenever I think of the apostle Peter, I wonder if he had regrets.  He made some huge errors that are recorded for the entire world to read about.  And yet, how much stronger and diligent was he at fulfilling his mission?  Did he not turn his human weaknesses into strengths?  Was he not a stronger leader after the resurrection than before Christ was crucified?

There are no time machines.  We can’t change the past.  Regret will only get in the way of our growth and happiness.  We need to move on.  We need to find our strengths.