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No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Concent and yet . . .

fund raisers seem necessary for raising money for different causes charities   one may go from door to door seeking collections usually with product that no one wants or can afford   or doesn ’ t like       parties at both ends feel emotion     the recipient fells bad that he can ’ t contribute       or feels anger towards the very idea of having walked across the room to open the door to something he may not even believe in           or resentment because he has purchased the product when he knows it could have been used more wisely                the seller (or cause promoter) either gives up because she is discouraged that no one wants to buy   or else she continues but with an attitude full of regret and resentment and ...

A Thin Coat of Paint

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I wouldn’t say that I’m a “friend” of scouting I think Hannah is the one who made the announcement that “you are not an acquaintance of scouting, but a “friend” of scouting”   “No I’m not,” I thought.   I have truly never been a friend.   I’ve actually had regrets about it. I think the scouting program is a great program for those who truly want to be involved.   I guess the thing that has always bothered me the most about scouting is all the hoopla and fuss that seems to go with it.   It would be fine if there was an equal amount of hoopla given to those not even associated with scouts – if that is what’s desired. (Some of us don’t like hoopla and fuss; my brother Patrick and his oldest son truly loved scouting and were heavily involved.   My brother Corey and nephew Brian appear to have reached a point where they almost loathed it) The boy scout program was adaptedby the LDS church in 1913 and cub scouts were adop...

Flooded With Thoughts . . . again

After two weeks my head is full of thoughts again.   Granted they are different thoughts but still enough swimming through my mind and it’s overflowing with new thoughts new ideas unlike the ones before this month started.   Thoughts about my mom’s farewell departure and about the change in song and why and how happy I was that Joh got to sing “Smile” instead of “Embraceable You” which evidently was mom’s favorite, but I like “Smile” better and I love Joh’s voice and he gave such an awesome introduction as to why he was singing it.   He didn’t say that   “Embraceable You” is not acceptable music to sing in the chapel. I think Corey was upset, but I quite enjoyed it.   I’m certain that my mom did too.

Angels Come in all Shapes and Sizes

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Many of the staff members referred to him as “the Lady Killer” which I thought was a euphemism for womanizer.   Until he started telling me of his other “love interests” who had each passed away (and now mom) I didn’t realize that “Lady Killer” was really a metaphor for “the Angel of Death” I asked him if he was.   He just laughed. He said there was one he developed an interest in before mom – but she wasn’t ready to die and chose not to go with him.   But when he found my mom he found her true beauty.   They were inseparable – until the fall . . . He knew she was dying.   And Madge knew.   The only two residents that are fully aware and haven’t seemed to slip into any kind of dementia stage.   Apparently they had both been in other facilities but felt overwhelmed and asked the family to put them somewhere smaller. Madge’s family had put her there due to her constant falling.   She knows the code.   She says all one h...

Indefinitely

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My brothers Patrick and Corey have each taken a leave of absence from their jobs.   Since she fell, all four of mom’s children have been spending several hours with her – though I’m quite certain that I have given her the least. I am the only one of her children who has not stayed the night.   (She had requested that she not be left alone) Patrick was with her all day Sunday – the first day of the month.   And Kayla and I were there on Labor Day.   I spent eight hours on Tuesday and Thursday.   Unfortunately I think she was alone on Wednesday from morning til mid afternoon. I had gone to a funeral that day.   I’d gone to the hospital afterward but mom was in emergency surgery.   The doctors were trying to save her legs.   I had to go get Jenna before the surgery was over.   But other family members had arrived when mom returned from surgery to her hospital room. She was full of conversation and smiles according visiting with fa...

Three More Books

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         Often when I check out books from the library, it will be with the intention of proof reading materials that Jenna might enjoy.   Occasionally I’ll check out books that I know she has absolutely no interest in but might interest me.   I generally read young fiction because I don’t have time for wordy adult novels. I still have not read Watt Key’s Alabama Moon , but I did just finish Fourmile .   Loved the book.   Easy reading (finished it in less than two weeks – even with Jenna’s constant interruptions) and good for imagination.          I’m guessing Foster (who tells the story) is an eleven year old boy who lives with his mom on the farm (Fourmile) that was his dad’s dream.   Only his dad had died the year before. Foster has a dog named Joe who came to him right after his father died.   He hates his mom’s social interest, Dax.   When Fo...

Still Waiting

Kayla and Corey spent Thursday night at the hospital with mom.   And on Friday morning all of her children surrounded her and enjoyed conversation – especially when mom would laugh at just the right moment as though she was laughing at our jokes, but sometimes it just felt like she was really listening to someone outside of our presence. Corey asked mom if she had a favorite hymn.   She responded that it was a secret. She must have been conversing with someone on the other side.   Perhaps a suggestion had been made: “They are planning your funeral.   Can you believe it?   We should just make your pulse count go higher.   You outlive the two weeks you’ve been given.   We’ll show them” Mom was laughing. It would make for a great final memory.   Her pulse went up. She spends most of the day just sleeping.   We can get her to drink sometimes but she won’t eat anything.   Hospice designed for making loved ones as comfortable ...