A letter to Roland's eldest daughter

Dear Frances,

            I am posting this letter to my blog as we don't have a current address for you - not that we ever did.  Your mom didn't (and probably still doesn't) want us to have any contact with you - even when we were living in the same state and it was court ordered.

            Even if you should come across this blog and read this post, I don't know if you'll know that you are Frances - as that is not your actual name, but rather one I have assigned to you through this blog.  But I feel impressed to write this.

            The last time we saw you was just over eight years ago - just before Tony left on his mission.  Jenna was only four at the time.  Unfortunately she does not have many memories of you or your other sister.  I have several pictures that I have shared with her, and I have always tried to speak positively of you and Pamprin. 

            I've been thinking a lot about you - mainly because of Jenna.  Not only do you two share a physical appearance, but personality traits as well.  At least the person we did have opportunity knowing about you before you moved away. 

            Like you, Jenna likes art.  She prefers drawing to painting though.  She loves crafts.  Last year she received an easel for Christmas.  Dad had sketched a picture of her in blue crayon.  I was impressed enough to frame it and hang it on the wall.  Every time I see it, I see you.  Or I remember the girl that you were, rather.  I realize you're an adult now and may not look so youthful as does the sketch.  Actually, Jenna looks older than the face in the sketch.  And taller.  Tall like you were at that age - perhaps not as tall as you are currently.

            This morning I was watching a National Geographic series called, "Unlikely Animal Friends"  I remember how much you loved Animal Planet and how much you enjoyed learning.

              There was one story that focused on a dog named Sunshade and her guinea pig friends named Meatball, Sesame, Squeaky, Ketchup and Dumpling, and I remembered how you were always naming stuffed animals after food. 

            You created a bear that you named "Jelly Bean" and Jenna had a dog that you named "Graham Crackers" which she still has and still calls "Crackers".  Jenna has other stuffed dogs which she has named "Fudge" and "Brownie" and has given other food names to various stuffed animals.  And so you share that in common.

            I remember when Jenna was born, how excited you were to have a baby sister.  The first time you saw her you said, "She looks like me."

            "No she doesn't,"  I thought.  "She looks like me."

            I was wrong and you were right.  Both of you look a lot like your Dad's sister, Aunt Linda, who has passed.  We tried to give you a bit of family history (as you had asked for it) before you returned to the island.  I think dad has found more information on his side.  Not much on your mom's side.  I, personally, haven't been looking.

            I'd like to send you pictures, but again, I don't know where to send them.  But if you look at the photos that I've taken of Jenna, I'm certain that you will see the resemblance.  I wish she would like vegetables as much as you did.  She seems to have acquired the same sweet tooth that was always present whenever we saw Pamprin.

            A lot of family growth has taken place since we last saw you.  You know that Tony got married and had a daughter.  She (Ester) just turned four yesterday.  And so you share the same birth month.  And just in case you don't remember - you and Jenna are ten years apart with ten days between your birthdays.

            Your brothers Randy and Biff also got married.  And so you have three sisters-in-law and now three nieces.  Randy's daughter, Devin, will be 7 months old in less than two weeks.  And Biff's daughter, Ali , just turned six months.   They all live in different cities in Utah.  Dad, Jenna, and I, in the meantime, have moved to Oregon.

            Dad decided to move us here to improve my health - similar to your reasons to moving, I think.  I can certainly breathe a lot better here than in Salt Lake.  That's for sure.

            We'll be going on our ninth month since we moved.

            Besides leaving family, one of the drawbacks in moving to Oregon, has been with Jenna's education.  For the last five years we had her in a dual immersion program where she was learning Spanish.  She doesn't have that opportunity anymore, but is playing the clarinet and going to middle school currently.

            When you first moved, your mom told us that you were learning Japanese.  Is that true?  Can you and Pamprin communicate in Japanese?

            Your brothers, Tony and Randy could communicate in Portuguese - though different dialects.  You may remember that Tony went on his mission to Brazil, but I bet you didn't know that Randy served a mission in Portugal. 

            I remember you once expressing a desire to go on a mission.  I didn't know if you were serious, but have wondered if you actually did take that opportunity.  Or if your mother would have even allowed you to go. 

            I'd like to reconnect through Facebook if possible.  I am so grateful to have this form of social media.  Through it I am able to watch my grandchildren grow.  I think I would miss out on most of it otherwise.  Life gets busy.  People don't correspond with one another the way they used to.

            That's all I have for you right now.  I'm sorry for any misconduct which I may have displayed whenever you were around. I'm sorry that I hadn't allowed myself to deal better with the situation at hand.  I'm sorry that you didn't get all the correspondence (if any) that dad and I tried to send. We really did try.  We have not forgotten you.

             I hope things are going better for you.

         

                                             Sincerely,   LaTiesha

Ted and Trudy Will Outlive Us All

          I have mentioned my Aunt Gertrude (Trudy) in at least five posts before.  She will be 95 at the end of this year.  Her brother, Ted, just turned 99.  Both are hard of hearing, but very sharp and knowledgeable.  Their bodies have weakened over the years, especially Trudy's.

          Aunt Trudy was always doing for other people.  For many years she drove a friend to the grocery store.  Up until a year ago, Aunt Trudy was still driving - even in her overly bent shape.  I don't know that she ever had an accident, but I still felt a sense of relief to know she wasn't able to renew her license again.  If she just hadn't taken that spill on Easter Sunday in 2013, she probably would have her driver's license.  For she wasn't so frail until after that.

          My cousin, Michelle, sent out a facebook message to the family to give us an update on the status of Aunt Trudy.  I read "St. Mark's" and "pneumonia" and thought of each of my parents.  Mom, who died only ten days after being admitted to St. Mark's hospital, and dad, who had pneumonia when he passed.  But as it turns out, Aunt Trudy is still in great health - aside from her hearing and now her weak legs.

          It is now Aunt Trudy's time to be served rather than serve everybody else's needs.  She obviously can't drive Ted anywhere. Thus several family members have been rallying around Ted and Trudy to get them to appointments. I think taking them to an attorney would be a great appointment to make and keep.

          Aunt Trudy had taken another fall and was taken to the hospital.  She was in the hospital for even less time than she had been in 2013.  Back to rehab.  Even closer to the assisted living where my mom was staying.   Michelle encouraged family members to put in so many hours a week so that Ted and Trudy's welfare may be attended to. 

          I feel helpless not being able to contribute my time as I am in another state.  At the same time, I know that if I were in Utah right now, I would have a sinus infection that would put me out of the loop for a while - not as long as Ted and Trudy will be around.  They say the secret to living such a long and healthy life is to eat sardines.  Apparently I will not live near as long as the thought of eating sardines makes me nauseous. 

          Ted and Trudy have outlived their two older brothers by 40 and 50 plus years.  They've outlived two sisters-in law, 2 nephews, 1 niece, a niece-in-law as I'm certain many others.  I had heard they had three aunts who had lived to be over 100.  As of now, I don't see any truth to that if the records are accurate.  It appears that Ted and Trudy have more years on earth than even they did.  

SPRING Arrived Early

I realize that for each year that I've had this blog,  I have mentioned the crazy weather in Utah.  It's not just Utah.  It's my first February in Oregon, and so I really don't know any different.  Except I have asked and the response has always been "this is very unusual" about everything ever since our arrival.

          Jenna and I went for a walk last night (when the temperature had finally dropped from 76 degrees) and discovered blossoms and flowers and growth that we don't normally see for at least another month.  Thought I'd take pictures.

starting out

I love daffodils

Jenna has always liked these.  She would pick them when we lived in Kearns

I can't believe how quickly the trees have bloomed

Each morning the clouds hang low on the hills

This is often how it feels driving I5 from Myrtle Creek to Roseburg

actual pig that lives next door from this post

          

Kid's Corner

             Ester's birthday is coming up soon.  I thought we should get her a book.  She seemed to be into princesses the last time we had seen her,  and so I chose one with Disney princesses.  It's a step-into-reading treasury included with six stories, a two sided princess poster and 24 miniature princess stickers. I think she will like it.

             We were at Costco and Roland didn't seem in too much of a hurry and so I took my time looking through some other books that were on display.  I smiled as I read "Everybody Loves Bacon" written by Kelly Dipucchio and illustrated by Eric Wight. 

             Besides the wonderful illustration, I found it to be a clever story on remembering your friends and what might happen to someone who gets a swelled head.  I think Tony would have enjoyed the same humor that I found, but I don't know if Ester would have felt the same charge (she is turning four.  I actually don't know how she feels about bacon)

          There were two books by Eric Carle. Jenna has always LOVED anything Eric Carle.

             I felt the first one was too juvenile for Ester and guessed she will like the Disney Princess collection better.  Roland thought we should just send a gift card.  Granted, it would be more economical from our end.  But I don't like gift cards overall.  I think Ester will be more excited to receive a book in the mail than a gift card that she wouldn't understand.  

    I suppose it really would not be that outrageous for Tony and Rochelle (Ester's parents) as it seems like they are always out shopping.

    I really liked the  illustrations and photography of Pharrell Williams popularized song: "Happy"  Ester might like it, but Tony told me  that he was sick of hearing the song,  so I don't think he would be too excited to read it to her - though  I did  consider it.

             The next book I saw was called "Invisible Fred".  It looked interesting, but the illustrations became rather boring.  I couldn't see that it would hold anyone's attention for very long. 

            The last book that I picked up was called "Robo-Sauce" written by Adam Rubin and illustrated by Daniel Salmieri.

         Once again it was a book that made me think of Jenna.  She's very into robots and imagination and creating.  That triggered some other memories of books that Jenna and I used to read together when we were still living in Kearns - some of which I have briefly mentioned in this post

            There are three or four stories which I would cry as I read.  One was called "The Robot and the Bluebird" by David Lucas.  A book about loneliness, love and sacrifice. 

            A bluebird, flying south for the winter, stops to rest with a robot who claims he has no heart.  He was left abandoned and is of no use to anybody.  He allows the bluebird to stay in the compartment which once housed his heart.  It is a beautiful story.

          Everything Max Lucado writes seems to be gold. Of course there are stories I like better than others.  The first Max Lucado I was introduced to was "You are Special". It is about a puppet who lives in the kingdom of toys (or at least that is how I perceive it; they are actually a made-up name called Wemmick's living in Wemmickville under their creator, Eli) where everyone is labeled. 

  

          Gold stars (I think it's gold stars; it's been a while since I've read it) are the best kind of labels.  Grey circles (or dots) are the worse.  The main character (whose name is Punchinello) seems to have more than his share of grey dots which he allows to affect his mood until he meets one who refuses to wear either dots or stars.  The message is simple.  The words were powerful enough to make the tears flow.  Even if I were to read it now, I am certain that the tears would come.

           On our return from Roseburg to Myrtle Creek, Jenna and I made comments about modern day fairytales, and how grateful we are that someone put a spin on things and made us stop and realize that it may have been Goldilocks who was at fault and the bears were the victims.  After all, she did break into their home, she stole their breakfast. She vandalized baby bear's chair.

            Hansel and Gretel were trespassing when they came upon the witches house.  Did they ever think to knock on her door and ask for help? They broke off pieces of the witches home and helped themselves.

            I have also seen an account where Cinderella was the one stuck on herself and the step sisters are the ones who were excluded and did have moments of displaying displeasure because of how they had been treated. 

            My favorite story from another's point of view was "Rumpelstiltskin's Daughter" by Diane Stanley.

            Rumpelstiltskin's Daughter tricks  the king into serving his subjects so that they will serve him in a respectful manner.  Her name is revealed at the end of the story.  So clever.

             There are dozens of versions of "The Monkeys and the Mangos"  I had actually never even heard of it until I checked out a book of stories retold.  I can't even remember who compiled it - though I think I do have it written down somewhere.  It's just a matter of finding which flash drive it may be on. 

            Jenna has often requested for me to tell this one, though it is very hard for me to get through - though I find a condensed version doesn't break out as many tears as the first version I read.  Here is just one version 

            I miss reading those stories to my small family members.

The Pig Next Door

         Aside from being overly quiet, my dad seemed very unobservant.  A running joke was that my mom could shave her head bald and spraypaint her scalp gold and he wouldn’t notice.  He said he would.  And perhaps he did notice things but never let on that he noticed – therefore we assumed he just wasn’t observant.

         But now it is I who misses out.  I wish I was more observant than I am.  I think one of the greatest things about spending time with small children is that they observe everything.  They notice so many things that I have taken for granted.  I love it when I have the opportunity to explore the world through their eyes.

         Roland is very observant.  Hopefully Jenna will continue to take after him and both of them will point out the things that I continue to miss.  Jenna always pays attention to the pig next door and tells us when a change is made.

  

      

         The couple to the north of us have lived on the street over 40 years – though they started out in a different house at the other end of the street.  I think  they said they’ve lived in the house next door for 30 years.  From my understanding the pig had been left on the mantle and was left there for a few months before they brought it outside. 

         I don’t know what color the pig was before they went out of town, but they said when they returned the pig had been spray painted green and had a yellow O painted on the side.  There appear to be a many Oregon “Duck” fans.  The painted pig served as a reminder.

         The couple moved the pig away from the house and further down the driveway so that it could be seen from the street.  It changes colors and wears various hats according to the holiday (or whatever other occasion) I guess it became a challenge for neighbors to “up” the appearance of the pig. 

         I don’t know how many years  or how many others participated.  Since we’ve been here, I think the pig has been through seven make-overs – but I think the only participants are the couple next door – perhaps children who visit.

         The pig has been black, yellow, red, white and pink. It may have been orange around Halloween.  Jenna has always been able to report its latest fashion.  I personally don’t pay that much attention.  Nor do I pass it as often as she does.  I do remember a top hat, white bonnet, red bow tie, heart sunglasses, eyepatch, etc.  Sometimes the pig looked larger than it seems to at this present time. 

         It’s larger than a standard “piggy” bank.  I don’t even know what material the pig is made of.  It looks ceramic, but doesn’t appear to have been chipped – at least from my point of view.  I haven’t touched it nor have I participated in the “make-over” game.  Jenna has enjoyed watching its transformations.

Killer Whales: A New Perspective for Sea World

            I remember listening to a ranger who loved and respected bears and did not care for zoos.  As a child, I thought zoos were wonderful.  Seeing pictures of bears is not the same as seeing a real live bear.  Many don't have the means to travel and search for bears in their natural habitat - and even then - watching through binoculars is still not the same as being close - though having an animal remain behind bars seems cruel.

            A zoo can never provide the same amount of space for each animal as each animal is given in the wild.  The animals don't have to share inversion with humans as they do in the city - where their space is very limited.  Animals in captivity don't necessarily live longer than animals in the wild.  Perhaps the contrary.  There will always be two sets of answers.  That doesn't make them accurate.

            I have never been Seaworld in Florida.  I don't know if I'd ever gone to the one in California.  I'm thinking not.  I actually don't think I was ever given opportunity. My answer just last week may have been for going, but I know that if I was given the opportunity right now, I'd have to decline.  Roland and I have recently watched a documentary called Blackfish (trailer found here) and it's made me rethink a lot about animals who are in captivity and how the focus on "bringing in money" often has a higher cost than we can imagine.  In this case, to the killer whales trapped in a space too small for growth, a trainer named  Dawn Brancheau, and marketing "cover-ups".  This documentary was a real eye opener.

            The emotions of animals are real.  Just because humans are not able to communicate with animals on the same level as we do with one another does not mean feelings don't exist.  Animals are capable of loving and grieving.  And just like us, they need room to grow.  It is wrong to take an animal out of the ocean and put it in a much smaller container - no matter how large the container, it will never be as large as the ocean.

            Animals are beautiful creatures.  Like us, they need a place to grow.

Scrambled Weekend

            Yesterday felt like a Saturday.  Jenna was off because of parent teacher conference – which evidently was by invitation only.  I hadn’t been contacted – which they say is a good thing – but they said I could make a last minute appointment if they had the room.

            So our appointment was for 7:50.  I dragged Roland to get a feel of what was needed for her math assignments and to assist with anything else.  He has worked a lot of parent-teacher conferences.  A LOT!  I remember many a years attempting to visit with the boys’ teachers all by myself.  Once it was 21 teachers for all three boys together.  I also had the challenge of maneuvering Jenna in her stroller when the boys were in high school.

            Parent-Teacher conferences are done differently in Myrtle Creek than in Salt Lake.  Appointments in Salt Lake were made for elementary school, but not junior high and high school.  At Coffenbury (the middle school where Jenna attends) appoinments are made to meet with all instructors at once – though I’ve actually never met with all seven of them at one time.  Yesterday there were only four, but our concerns were met.  We had left Jenna at home.

            Yesterday felt like a Saturday overall.  We had gone to  big city of Roseburg to do some shopping.  Jenna had some specific things that she wanted to get in order to make a science project (something she has been doing since kindergarten – even when there was no assignment) and we decided to get some groceries while we were in town. 

            Roland was off because he is working today.  Once a month he has to work a Saturday and is usually off the proceeding Friday – but we’ve made acceptions for other days before he went on his remote assignment.  Before we moved to Oregon.

            In Utah, he would work from 7 – 4.  He still does those hours – still on mountain time.  But as we're now on Pacific time,  he is really working from 6 – 3.  It is nice having him get off at three.  Except for Thursdays.  On Thursdays he works from 10 – 7.

            As Roland is at work at Jenna is home, and I’m forcing her to help me do laundry, it still feels like a weekday instead of a Saturday.  I don’t know where my mind will be focused on tomorrow.

            We won’t have our regular church meetings tomorrow.  There will be a live broadcast from Salt Lake to be viewed by the western region (or so is my understanding) and so we’ll be returning to the big city of Roseburg.  

            Monday’s a holiday.  Both Roland and Jenna are off.  I’m guessing we’ll end up in Roseburg again.  Roland has been wanting to go to the movies for the last two months.  We had actually made plans for a date for yesterday afternoon.  That was before we realized that Jenna would not be going to school.  We did have breakfast together yesterday morning.  But I know he still wants to go to the movie.  Perhaps we’ll make a trip out to Grants Pass or Medford.  We’ll have to see.

            Four day weekend for Jenna.  Seems like her four day weekends always fall on the Saturdays when Roland is scheduled to work.  Weird.