Beneath the Wraps

I don’t know when mom became an avid walker or how many years she and Pam Sanders had walked together practically every weekday morning.   I know that Corey was still in high school and driving because many times mom and Pam would end their walk at the high school and take the car.             Once, as they were leaving the parking lot, a security officer from the high school pulled them over to see their ID – wondering why the car was being driven off the high school grounds during school hours.   I guess he figured out that they weren’t high school students. They laughed about the experience of being pulled over and stopped by a diner on their way home.               The girl behind the counter started to ring up their order.   I don’t know what they ordered, but evidently it was available at a senior price.   Neither one of them were ...

Mom was at Alta Ridge and on hospice care.   It was a Friday. She passed on a Tuesday.   Her funeral was on a Saturday.   Harold’s daughter-in-law called me on a Friday.   Harold was still at Alta Ridge and on   hospice care.   He passed on a Tuesday.   His funeral services will be on Saturday. We don’t have reason for returning to the   facility anymore.   I hope that I will never have a reason to return.

I wondered which one of us (me or my brother Corey) would post about Harold first.  I came up with most of these thoughts and typed them in by 1:00 am this morning - but only drafted it as I had no title. Last year we (my sibs and I) put mom into an assisted living program as she was in need of 24/7 care.   This time last year she was trying to escape.   She wore her coat and carried her purse and would walk around the doors and windows of the facility – looking for a way out.   She wasn’t happy there – not all the time anyway. By mid April, mom had accepted her new home and was reading everything she could get her hands on.   She didn’t retain anything.   But she did read. I don’t think it was until May when she developed an attraction to Harold and soon the two became inseparable.   I find it interesting that Corey created this post on June 3.   Mom has a boyfriend.   And just one month later I created t his pos...

Preparedness (according to Wikipedia ) refers to a very concrete research based set of actions that are taken as precautionary measures in the face of potential disasters. These actions can include both physical preparations (such as emergency supplies depots, adapting buildings to survive earthquakes and so on) and trainings for emergency action. Preparedness is an important quality in achieving goals and in avoiding and mitigating negative outcomes.  Methods of preparation include research , estimation , planning , resourcing, education , practicing and rehearsing .          It’s been eighteen years since BYU hosted the imperial tombs of china – an exhibit that my mom and I had gone to.   I found it odd that these rulers would spend their entire lives preparing for their deaths.   But then I suppose to some extent many of us experience a similar thing.       ...

  Two weeks after I started my blog I became part of a search party who went out looking for mom who had dementia and had wandered from home.  She could not be left alone.  Each of us worked out a schedule so that someone would always be with her. Two weeks after this year started mom was released from the hospital and spent her last night at the house she’d lived in for over fifty years. It had been on a Sunday when Ellen found my mom passed out and called for Nate to assist.  Patrick ended up taking her to the hospital.  He and Nate were both dressed for church but stayed at the hospital all day. They did not go to Church that day. Patrick had chosen to stay with mom. On Monday mom’s four children worked together to fill out the paperwork to move mom into assisted living. On Wednesday Kayla took mom to her new home at the assisted living facility – the last place she would live. And Corey came from Las Vegas to assist and say good...

We all know a David Smith such a common name  In my case you were the boy next door middle child your mom and my mom showed pregnant bellies three times the same time – well maybe just two and a half. Tow headed blonds we both were neighborhood games and school Your family had the only trampoline there for a while chain linked fence separated our back yards we grew neither of us married until our late thirtys you had two daughters I have one.  Wish we could have gotten them together before you passed on a year ago last month Your final act of service happened when you were only 49.  You were in the basement of your parents up  on the ladder  I believe  and you lost  your balance  or your footing and you fell and left this earth life.  Your family will keep your memory alive and I hope that your girls may visit often and learn more about who you we...

          A week ago yesterday mom was discharged from the hospital A week ago yesterday I drove her home – her actual house.   She wanted me to take her to the one in her mind. A week ago yesterday I drove her to my house where we waited for Nate (my nephew) to come get her and take her to her real home.   A week ago she was still distorted and not satisfied with where she was. A week ago today my brother Patrick and his son-in-law Nate moved some of mom’s furniture.   A week ago today my sister-in-law Sunny and our friend Becky helped pack clothes. A week ago today unbeknownst to my mom, she spent her last day in the house where she started a new life with dad and raised all four of her children. A week ago today my sister Kayla took my mom to the doctor.   A week ago today, Patrick and Sunny and their daughter Ellen rearranged mom’s furnitu...