Beneath the Wraps

          Dementia is a thief which robs the mind and interferes with the souls of all associated.  Last week mom was living in another world for the most part.  This weekend hit hard.  The way it’s been described to me, it sounds like she lost was between worlds – panicked at not being able to communicate.  Just not getting a grasp on anything.  Being transported to another dimension is bad enough – the “between worlds” thing is worse overall – at least from my viewpoint.           Probably all of us, at some point in our lives, have seen the child that just isn’t understanding direction and becomes more and more frustrated with himself or the instructor or the other kids or what have you.  He throws a tantrum and won’t allow himself to be rational.  And the harder we try to explain or understand, the more irrational the child becomes. That is what the “b...

          I go to my mom’s twice a week to make sure she is eating lunch and learning that she doesn’t always have breakfast.  I didn’t know how we would introduce her to the idea of taking in a stranger (a companion who would help us watch her) but perhaps the idea may appeal to her if we introduce her as permanent company – so that mom won’t be so bored.            Corey is on vacation this week.  My niece leaves the house at six.  I am not certain of her husband’s hours – but do know that he’s not always there – which is understandable.  Ellen and Nate are a newlywed couple and shouldn’t even have to face this dementia challenge while starting out their life together.  But mom had invited them to stay.  And so even though mom has people living with her, she is still often left alone – and actually does get lonely.      ...

          I am usually not pressed for time – but on those few days that I do need to leave – well, those are the days my mom would like me to stay.  And it would be all well and good if I actually lived closer – or with her.  But I don’t.           We’re down to one functional car – and even that has been questionable.            Since Roland works late on Wednesdays, he drove the car in and so I borrowed my son’s car in order to get out to mom’s.  Talk about nerve racking.                     First off, it has a quirkiness to it that anybody but Biff might not get – and the fact that other people have trouble turning on the ignition is actually a great feature in Biff’s opinion.  I was just about to give up, when I actually got it to turn....

One year our family was asked to host a room for Halloween.  Roland wanted to do something different from the typical activities and games that we had seen in years past.  So we ended up doing a haunted maze  (which I will provide details for as it gets closer to Halloween).  The point I was looking to make in this post was the reaction of what some considered scary while others seem to enjoy or become bored with. Our “haunted maze” was a big hit with the teenagers – but too frightening for the majority of children under eight maybe ten.  Except for Jenna – who would laugh each time she went through.  She feared nothing at the time.            Over the years she has grown into some fears.  I suppose we all do.  Some we can rationalize – while others make us wonder why it has become a fear.           Jenna LOVES crossing bridges....

What is it that makes each of us happy? For many of us it consists of simple everyday things – intangible at that.   We enjoy freedoms.   We enjoy seeing pleasure or satisfaction displayed on the face of another.   Smiles, clean water, sunshine, rain, playing games or enjoying other activities with close friends or family members.   The associations we have built up for ourselves.   Serving others.           I am not a morning person, but I enjoy hearing Jenna singing in the morning.   It makes me happy to know that she is happy.   And I know that she is happy when she’s singing.           Experiencing joy is different from one’s definition of happiness. Happiness can come from material things – perhaps not permanently, but rather on a temporary scale.   We seek pleasures or feel contentment.   Riding a bike makes Jenna happy.  ...

For those readers who may not recognize any of the names in the title, let me introduce you to a very brief history.   The character of Dr. Jekyll was created before 1931.   He was a lab scientist who used himself as a guinea pig to test a potion which he had created.   I don’t recall what it is the potion was supposed to do, but as a result of his taking the potion, Dr. Jekyll would take on another – much darker – personality that was not the same as the one most people were familiar with. His alter ego became known as Mr. Hyde.   So even though Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde were theoretically the same person – sharing the same physical identity (or body I guess) the personalities were very different.   Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is science fiction. Shirley Ardel Mason (1923 – 1998) was an actual person.   She’d been both physically and mentally abused by her mother.   Shirley had gone to psychiatrist Dr. Cornelia Wilbur in the 1950’s as there w...

        I did not understand that when dogs barked at Houdini (first family dog), it was only because they wanted to play or sniff each other out.   But with Houdini, his was a mission to find his boys.   He managed to ignore every snide remark and pick up line that every dog may have barked to him.   He just kept his eyes ahead and moved at a steady pace. Didn’t even acknowledge the other dogs. Highness (our current dog) walks with his nose to the ground – searching for a long lost friend (we think) and will sniff out other dogs and decide that’s not the one he’s looking for and will move on.   Generally if I allow Highness and the dog behind the fence to sniff one another, things are cool and the barking generally stops.   Not always.           There have actually been a few mean dogs.   MEAN.   They grow extra fangs right in front of us and growl as they bare their new...

          My mom has always had a lousy sense of direction – at least since I’ve known her.  Improper medication or improper amounts due to failing health and aging does not help matters.  She’s always been an okay driver – not exceptional.  Perhaps even good at one time – now?  I think my mom behind a wheel is rather a scary combination.           But then again having me behind the wheel when the sun is streaming over dirty windows – also scary.  And to top it off – send me to unfamiliar roads.  It’s like Lucy Ricardo driving Ethel Mertz.  (For those of you who have no clue what that statement even means, I encourage you to go to YouTube and click on “I Love Lucy” – any episode, doesn’t matter.  It should help you to understand my comparison)           Mom and I have actually had quite a few Luc...

         Perhaps that seems a lousy comparison.   And I am not actually comparing the dog to the human being – I am comparing the emotions one may go through as he or she searches for a pet as opposed to searching for a family member.           I do have examples for both.   We have had two dogs that have come to us in their prime.   Both during different years and in different cities.   Both had/have a sense of adventure beyond our fenced yards.   And both have managed to escape – though it has been quite a mystery about HOW they escaped – especially the first one.           The one who lives with us currently has always been nearby and often returns home on his own.   The first one was a happy wanderer who was on a mission to find his boys – he had claimed them before they claimed him.   He loved our boys and woul...