Big Booms Over Subtleness

https://www.guideposts.org/faith-and-prayer/7-trending-faith-and-prayer-topics

            I have noticed that there are several prayers that are answered in a way that we would not choose to be answered in that way.  Remember this post? For some of us the answer comes with such devastation that we may not even recognize it as an answer until several months or years down the road.  Allow me to provide some examples.

            I remember a sister in my home ward who was always on the go.  It seems she spent many hours driving, serving, nurturing, what have you . . . constantly assisting others but never herself.  She had a desire to spend more time for scripture study and prayed about it.  When she threw out her back initially, I don’t think she viewed it as an answer to her prayers.  She had to stay off her feet for several weeks which gave her the time to delve into the scriptures and form a routine.  Not exactly a subtle answer, but an answer nonetheless.

            My dad had a series of strokes, each had crippled him just a little more than the last.  My brother Corey was struggling with his testimony at the time and was angry with God for jeopardizing my dad’s health.  My prayerful dad of tremendous faith explained his failing health as an answer to prayer.  Not the way any of us would have wanted it to go.  I suppose sometimes God’s answer has to be dramatic not only for ourselves but perhaps those that we are in contact with.

            Dad had been unhappy with his job for years and was looking for a way out without jeopardizing our financial security.  My dad was young but was forced into a medical retirement.  I think I would have rather had a healthy dad – but it made sense later on . . . much later on.  He was able to collect social security not only for himself but my little sister as well.  We spent more time together.  We were able to see pieces of my dad’s personality that had been hidden prior to the strokes (see here) 

                Many prayers have been answered during this pandemic – crazy answers that have provided strength to some while others seem to have lost focus and have stopped praying if they ever prayed at all.  Each month has introduced a new set of problems.  This month has been the “order” to reopen schools which has brought up many concerns, conflicts and a new set of protests.  I have many friends who have done extensive research and have looked into other options.

            Schools along the west coast have refused to reopen while other schools across the country prepare to reopen. One friend who lives in another state recently received an answer to her prayers – though I don’t suspect she has viewed it as such – at least not yet.  She was in a horrible accident.  She said it was her fault.  She is grateful that there weren’t any passengers and that no one was hurt.  It was a stupid accident (according to her) and she has been kicking herself about the financial pain.  She told me that she will be keeping her children home because she doesn’t ever want to drive again. She didn’t say it that way exactly, but that is how I interpreted it.  Theoretically they live within walking distance to the two schools involved – too close to be bused but still far enough and across busy streets that she would rather drive them than worry about potential injury due to neglectful drivers.

            Prayers often come with a cost – not always a financial one.  Sometimes the cost is the approval of others.  For example there have been several members who have converted to the church at the risk of losing their family.  There have been some who have left the church who no longer receive support from their families.  How could a strain on a relationship possibly be an answer to prayer?

            I think if we look at our “burdens” in relation to things we have prayed for we may have a better understanding.  We will also have these incredible stories to share that others may learn.  Answers to our prayers aren’t just solely for us but for those around us that they may learn to explore trials of their own.

Crazy Times . . . Still

          Jenna and I had the day off yesterday.  She had been at a sleepover and I did not have to drive at all.  It will be her last hoorah – although she doesn’t know it yet.  Governor Brown has set the state back to mandatory mask wearing and no indoor gatherings of more than ten.

          People complain.  It doesn’t matter what decision is made, someone gets upset.  Seems like even more lawsuits are being filed – against the governors, against the federal government . . .          One lawsuit is to keep students from other countries from having to return to their home countries.  I am in agreement that if they want to be here they should have that choice.  I think a citizen from another country would not even want to be in the U.S. right now.  Surely there are safer countries than this one.

          California has gone back to phase one though it sounds like lockdown is in the near future.  They won’t be starting public schools back up in the fall, nor will Portland.  We should have never opened when we did.

          The Roseburg Stake (for LDS church) was supposed to start back up on the 26^th.  No longer happening – which is fine.  I have not read the letter from the presidency but knew that there were stipulations about returning and that those over 65 were adviced to use discretion about NOT returning at this time.  That would mean 60 – 80 percent of our ward I would think.  I wish the country could run like the church through inspiration and not influence of politics or hormones. 

          I’d rather not have a repeat of this year.

So Much for My Plans

                Jenna had asked if I would drop her

off at the park at 10:00 and Roland

had an audit for the church. 

I figured I would have

at least a two hour window in which

I could catch up on my journaling thoughts and

add another post to my blog. 

Jenna returned home and then

Roland because the computers were down. 

The computers are always down whenever

he has an audit – or so it seems. 

Perhaps it’s the area. 

I heard that the cell phones were invaded just

the other day.  Smart phones perhaps. 

Mine was still working. 

My trusty flip phone.

Sorry I did not post yesterday

Comfort Over Flattering

I bought this dress before we went to New York

 

It doesn’t flatter me

Many products look better on the hanger

than on me.  I’m certain that it is my body

that is not flattering more than my clothes

but this dress sure is comfortable

It is also a food or grime magnet.

First time spit up and pineapple syrup.

I was gardening the second time –

I remember my lunch falling to my dress

though I don’t remember what was for lunch.

It makes a good quarantine dress I guess.

I’m not very graceful and it shows.

Thus I don’t think I’ll be wearing this dress in public.

I’ll wear it to be comfortable.

Sterile or Immune

Here is a tale about Anna and her cousin Mike whom I do not know well, but I have met him on occasion.  Each time I remember Mike had a runny nose.  I may be wrong, but it seems like during his early life (I don’t know about now) he seemed to get sick a lot.  I had heard his mom was a neat freak and would keep her house almost sterile.  If something fell on her already-maculate-floor, it would be thrown in the garbage.

            Anna, on the other hand, lived in a home with two dogs, a cat, and her parents.  Though my sister tried to keep the house clean, there were still traces of animal fur.  If something fell to the floor her dad would return it to Anna and let her know it was still okay to eat.  I don’t recall her being sick all too often or having a runny nose.  Anna developed a high immune system. 

            I don’t know if school changed that or not.  I don’t recall the report of health or if they picked up infections from other children.  I wonder if Anna had survived better than Mike had. 

The situation we are currently facing reminds me of this situation – disinfecting businesses, houses, cars, ourselves . . . how often?  I understand we are not immune to the coronavirus but at the same time wonder if we might be going overboard.  I have always been horrible with touching my face – especially the eye area during allergy season.  Coronavirus hasn’t changed that.  I am just as guilty as before.  I ‘ve caught myself drinking from the same water bottle as one of Jenna’s friends who I may think of Jenna’s sister.  I’m definitely not a Monk (see here)

So where do we draw the line? We wash our hands wear masks to protect others. And how many things do we touch while at a grocery store?  Last night I was standing in line for some pain reliever but had somewhere to be.  I had picked up several bottles as I inspected the packaging and ingredients.  I ended up leaving the item near the magazines as I no longer wished to wait in line.  How many bottles had I touched?  How many others had touched those same bottles?

Perhaps it sounds like I am but I’m really not paranoid.  I just wondered why all these common sense things that we should have been focused on all along have somehow become a mandatory staple.  We’re suppose to support the small businesses and the small businesses don’t seem to be following all the rules.  What other rules are they not following?  Not honoring the food handlers permit perhaps?  I was leary of fast food places before covid.  At present I think I am more leary. I try to be careful – but I haven’t reached the point of changing clothes the minute I walk through the door and boil everything.

Thank Goodness for the Supreme Court

Earlier this week I found this post of a friend’s timeline.  Trump’s campaign was built on hate, so what’s his problem?  Oh, could it be that the public schools are closed?  Get them reopen so that we can promote hate!  Trump is going to bully himself right out of office.  What exactly is going through his head threatening the country about reopening schools (here and here)

My sister asked my opinion about what to do about returning to school.  At first I thought I would leave the decision up to Jenna, but the more I think about it, the more miffed I am.  What is Trump’s game plan here? Is he hoping to kill off teachers by exposing them to a wide variety of germs?  Like they don’t have enough to deal with – now they have to stop their lessons to remind students to to keep their masks on, don’t touch other children, don’t play with the Plexiglas . . .” Come on.

I sent my sister this email this morning.

“My post today will be about how I predict that Trump may end up bullying himself out of office.  He has ordered ALL schools to reopen - otherwise he is not going to fund them.  I work for the school system and have made the decision NOT to return to work this year.  It's crazy.  I don't know that children will be effected as much as adults - who seem to pick up kids germs without the COVID.  I don't know if the teachers have been threatened that if they don't return they will never be able to get jobs as instructors in the future.  What future?  If more than half the population ends up getting COVID workers will need to be replaced, right?  Those that have allowed Trump to bully them will have to end up hiring those that refused to teach during this time.  But you know me.  I will not be bullied.  Jaime may be miffed with me at first, but I'm going to go ahead and sign her up for online.  It's not the ideal - but neither is living by conditions that are not the norm.  Same with your situation.  The learning environment in 2020 is going to suck.  I hope that I'm wrong.  I hope everything returns to normal - but I have my doubts.  Anyway, there's my two cents.  I know it's frustrating to have all three home and try to be parent and teacher - but I think I would rather be frustrated than worry about the unknown . . . "will my child be okay?  Will another student infect my child and bring the disease home to us?  Will the children act up and start protests of their own?  Will my children get hurt because of the frustration and limitations that are being enforced?  Will Trump send in authorities such as the ones in Germany and turn my kids into Nazis?"  Just saying.  United States is a lot bigger than Germany - more schools.  I don't think Trumps organized enough to reach them all.  The fact that he is saying this is mandatory . . . that is enough for me to say NO”

from Denver Now

Staff were telling students to cover mouth, stay home, blow their nose . . . whatever long before COVID made its way to the states.  If children's germs spread during the winter months without COVID, how do we expect them to keep from spreading during COVID?  Socialization is good for students - especially for those who don't have sibs. But wearing masks and keeping them (or attempting to) at a distance does not help the socialization.  I think it hinders it.

The Color Red

        Someone looking at this picture may think I love the color red. Not really. I don’t dislike it, but it’s really not my favorite. It was my mom’s favorite and each time I look at these objects I am reminded of her.     

        The sock over the water bottle lost its mate. I use the sock as a covering to prevent rings when I set it down. 

         The kindle was a gift as well as the tablet pillow. 

         Camera and phones are red because I’m always misplacing things and I think they are easier to find than say silver, black or brown. If these phones had been offered in green or blue, I would have picked them over red. 

         I miss my mom. I am grateful for the reminders.

Let’s Make Rooster Stew

            I normally don’t hear the rooster crowing behind us, but his alarm went off this morning at 4:30 and hasn’t stopped.  What is your problem rooster?  No one understands your tantrums. 

            It’s not even a normal “R-R-R’R” crow.  It’s a sick “ul, ul, ul, r . . e”  The rear window was opened a couple of centimeters.  I was looking for a cross breeze to help keep the room cool – not to allow the sounds of a constipated rooster to interrupt my sleep.

            Jenna cracks me up when she impersonates the rooster – translating his crows into English:

 

“Did you see the sun?

Hey, everybody look!

It’s the sun.

When it became dark last night

I didn’t think I would ever see it again.

But look!

There it is!

I can’t believe I have this opportunity to see it again!

Isn’t it amazing!

Look everyone!  It’s the sun!”

The last two morning have been overcast.  Perhaps the bird really is confused.  It's light out but the sun is hidden.

"Where is the sun?

It's light outside but I don't see it

Does anybody know?

Where is the sun?"

I could see the moon through the clouds

It appears lighter in the west than in the east where the sun is rising

This morning he must have been trying to impersonate the overgrown child named Donald Trump:

 

“I expected there would be a million people at my rally.

I was highly disappointed that there were so many empty seats.

There were more empty seats than there were people.

This is the fault of the public schools.

That’s right.  They are teaching their children to hate.

They don’t respect their elders.  They don’t respect their country.

They are making fun of me and I don’t like it.

Whah Whah Whah . . .”

 

Apparently when Trump looks into a mirror, he sees the image of a public school.  What is he even talking about?  His entire campaign was built on hate.

I heard the numbers have dropped on those who will vote for Trump.  Good.  But the alternate?  We have two elderly candidates who both show signs of senility.  My brother thinks Trump as a narcissistic personality disorder.  Some people may be voting for third party and it looks like a huge percentage may not even vote at all. 

Here is Trevor Noah has who has some very informative veiws.  It's helpful to watch the news this way.

            As much as I’m hating that rooster right now, I may vote for him.

Last Sunday

           Last week was nice weather wise.  High was 67 degrees.  I think that is awesome. In the morning I had posted about not having a proper Sabbath.  This was our agenda.

          First of all Roland insisted we watch a movie together.  We do not have Pureflix yet and so he found an old black and white which felt like watching an extended version of a Twilight Zone episode. It was called The Flight that Disappeared. I can see this being a part of the Mystery Science Theatre as well. 

         We were amused with the outside pictured a prop plane while the inside featured a lot more leg room that we had just encountered.  It was back in the day when smoking was still allowed on flights and you could see smoking happen in just about every black and white movie or series there was.  We didn’t notice any restroom stalls – but the movie flight had a lounging area that I don’t believe ever did exist on a commercial flight.

          The stewardesses brought trays to the passengers.  It was hilarious watching them wedge them into provided holes.  I don’t know if that is how trays worked back then.  I wasn’t born until after 1961.

          I don’t know what time we had woken up, but had completed the movie before Sunday Morning came on.  One of the stories featured (here) was this one – I was grateful to see a real life story featuring compassion.  What a remarkable example of loving unconditionally.

           I know I left the TV at some point to read or study something more worthy than vegetating.  I think I will spend the majority of today calling people to see how things are going for them.

The Cost of Freedom

What is freedom?  Ask a 100 people and you may get a 100 answers.  Some people may have provided a different answer last year in regards with how they may answer today.

It’s the 4^th of July, our nations holiday.  It was my late daughter-in-law’s favorite holiday.  I think of that each year since she died. 

Our nation’s white holiday – though I had never viewed it that way before until after my husband and I saw this yesterday on CBS This Morning. Wow.

I had always believed I have an appreciation and understanding of black history.  I am familiar with Fredrick Douglas, Harriett Tubman, Ruby Bridges and Martin Luther King, Jr.  I am familiar with the works of Phyllis Wheatley, Paul Dunbar and Langston Hughes.  I love Langston Hughes.  I’ve had a few black friends over the years that I have never labeled as my “black friends” except for the purpose of this post.  

 As I realize my knowledge of black history and appreciation of their strengths I have noticed many of my own ignorance’s during this bizarre historical year. I don't know what it's like to be pulled over or be discriminated against because of my race.  I don't know what it's like to be watched as though I'm viewed as a potential threat.  And yet have found intolerance of others’ ignorance – which isn’t right.  I suppose each of us have some degree of ignorance – whether it’s race, religion, law enforcement, government . . .

Not too long ago I read this post by Darin Simpson.  I have since read some of his other posts and find I agree with many of his thoughts.  

I don’t view the flag the same as I used to as our country is so torn and the nationalists or Republicans are waving the same flag as the Democrats who are called mask-wearing sheep – though I don’t think everyone who claims to be a Democrat is wearing a mask, nor do I believe all Repulicans are rebelling as though they are all experiencing PMS.

I have freedoms and should be able to smoke wherever I want.  

    And what about the freedoms of the non-smoker? 

I have freedoms and not have to wear a seat-belt when I drive. 

    The seat belt is there to insure your safety should you get into an accident.  I know of more cases where a seat-belt was credited for saving a life than doing harm

I have freedoms and shouldn’t have to vaccinate my child in order to send him to public school.

    Again it’s a safety issue.  I do know of cases where the vaccine has had a negative effect.  There are pros and cons to every issue.  Someone thinks they are gaining a freedom while someone else may view it as costing a freedom.

So it is with the mask wearers and non-supportive mask wearers.  The argument is that we wear as mask to protect other people vs. wearing a mask will make me sick.  Sure – if you wear the same mask all the time.  Infection of false news travels can faster on social media than does the contaminants of COVID19. Wash.  Dispose.  Change the mask more constantly than you change your underwear. 

There’s argument that the government is become a dictatorship to take our freedoms away.  Trump doesn’t wear a mask.  And yet I see him as the Hitler and all his bully followers as Nazis. 

My flag continues to fly in my yard.  It is dull and very faded.  I see it as a symbolic image of this country.  I will take it down in September.  I don’t know when or if it will ever get replaced.  I see more positive feedback and concern than I do the nationalists – but as the direction of our future is uncertain, so is the future of replacing my flag.

Morning Drive

I leave the house between 5:00 and 5:30

before the sun has risen but still light enough to see. 

I will drive Jenna and her friends to the blueberry patch

and drop them off just before six. 

The last few mornings I’ve driven Jenna by herself

 

Occasionally I will see deer. 

Jenna and I spotted one the other day

a young dough trying to push her head through the fence

wanting to get inside but not sure how. 

I have seen a young stag grazing near the shoulder of

the highway imagining that he would return to the fold

and tell all of his friends,

“Yes.  The cars were this close to me, but I wasn’t scared.”

 

Anther young stag who didn’t appear to be in

his right mind staggered across the street

as though he was drunk.  Another young stag still

who waited for me to pass unlike the doe in this post.

 I hadn’t seen that before and marveled that

he would stop and wait like a human who had

been trained to look both ways before crossing.

 

Usually I see a human couple walking along the road

but did not see them this morning. 

The skies appear to be hazy like when

there is smoke in the air not like the clean fog

but perhaps it was fog as the haze disappears

as the sun makes its way across the sky.