Beneath the Wraps

After two weeks my head is full of thoughts again.   Granted they are different thoughts but still enough swimming through my mind and it’s overflowing with new thoughts new ideas unlike the ones before this month started.   Thoughts about my mom’s farewell departure and about the change in song and why and how happy I was that Joh got to sing “Smile” instead of “Embraceable You” which evidently was mom’s favorite, but I like “Smile” better and I love Joh’s voice and he gave such an awesome introduction as to why he was singing it.   He didn’t say that   “Embraceable You” is not acceptable music to sing in the chapel. I think Corey was upset, but I quite enjoyed it.   I’m certain that my mom did too.

Many of the staff members referred to him as “the Lady Killer” which I thought was a euphemism for womanizer.   Until he started telling me of his other “love interests” who had each passed away (and now mom) I didn’t realize that “Lady Killer” was really a metaphor for “the Angel of Death” I asked him if he was.   He just laughed. He said there was one he developed an interest in before mom – but she wasn’t ready to die and chose not to go with him.   But when he found my mom he found her true beauty.   They were inseparable – until the fall . . . He knew she was dying.   And Madge knew.   The only two residents that are fully aware and haven’t seemed to slip into any kind of dementia stage.   Apparently they had both been in other facilities but felt overwhelmed and asked the family to put them somewhere smaller. Madge’s family had put her there due to her constant falling.   She knows the code.   She says all one h...

My brothers Patrick and Corey have each taken a leave of absence from their jobs.   Since she fell, all four of mom’s children have been spending several hours with her – though I’m quite certain that I have given her the least. I am the only one of her children who has not stayed the night.   (She had requested that she not be left alone) Patrick was with her all day Sunday – the first day of the month.   And Kayla and I were there on Labor Day.   I spent eight hours on Tuesday and Thursday.   Unfortunately I think she was alone on Wednesday from morning til mid afternoon. I had gone to a funeral that day.   I’d gone to the hospital afterward but mom was in emergency surgery.   The doctors were trying to save her legs.   I had to go get Jenna before the surgery was over.   But other family members had arrived when mom returned from surgery to her hospital room. She was full of conversation and smiles according visiting with fa...

         Often when I check out books from the library, it will be with the intention of proof reading materials that Jenna might enjoy.   Occasionally I’ll check out books that I know she has absolutely no interest in but might interest me.   I generally read young fiction because I don’t have time for wordy adult novels. I still have not read Watt Key’s Alabama Moon , but I did just finish Fourmile .   Loved the book.   Easy reading (finished it in less than two weeks – even with Jenna’s constant interruptions) and good for imagination.          I’m guessing Foster (who tells the story) is an eleven year old boy who lives with his mom on the farm (Fourmile) that was his dad’s dream.   Only his dad had died the year before. Foster has a dog named Joe who came to him right after his father died.   He hates his mom’s social interest, Dax.   When Fo...

Kayla and Corey spent Thursday night at the hospital with mom.   And on Friday morning all of her children surrounded her and enjoyed conversation – especially when mom would laugh at just the right moment as though she was laughing at our jokes, but sometimes it just felt like she was really listening to someone outside of our presence. Corey asked mom if she had a favorite hymn.   She responded that it was a secret. She must have been conversing with someone on the other side.   Perhaps a suggestion had been made: “They are planning your funeral.   Can you believe it?   We should just make your pulse count go higher.   You outlive the two weeks you’ve been given.   We’ll show them” Mom was laughing. It would make for a great final memory.   Her pulse went up. She spends most of the day just sleeping.   We can get her to drink sometimes but she won’t eat anything.   Hospice designed for making loved ones as comfortable ...

Before Sunday Mom was laughing, she was walking and dressing herself. She was singing on Thursday as Harold accompanied on guitar. Sometime between four and six on Sunday morning she got out of her chair.   We don’t know why.   She may have been headed toward the bathroom.   Or perhaps she could feel the pain of a mild heart attack. She was checked on at four.   She was sleeping peacefully in her chair.   But when she was checked in on at six, she was found on the floor.   Her clothes were wet with urine and perspiration. She was loaded into an ambulance and rushed to the hospital.   Her legs were badly swollen.   She was diagnosed with rhabdomyolysis   .   The infection spread into her legs and kidneys and heart probably. She’d been hooked up to machines and needles and was given cat scans, an MRI, a pick line and ...

          I generally drop Jenna off at school a half hour before she needs to be there.   I also arrive on the lot before all other cars so as to not fight school traffic.   Jenna has always taken her time walking to school or across the field.   When I am the driver who is picking her up, I welcome her dawdling.   In first grade we were always the last car to leave the parking lot. I HATE school traffic.                   Kayla was looking for a sitter for her two and as Jenna’s school is the same distance from their house as it is from my own,   I figured I could watch them at Kayla’s house and then pick up Jenna.   I should have left her house the minute that Kayla came home.           It’s been four years since I had lived in that same neighborhood and wasn’t taking into account that the school in that area lets out...