I Can’t Believe You’d Put Me in Band!

       Being in Oregon still feels so surreal to me – like at any given moment I will wake up and be in that cracker box house in West Valley.  Take this morning for instance.  It was definitely cooler than any day that we’ve been here since we had come out for spring break.

        I had dropped by the middle school to ask a few more questions.  The front door was open, and there was a light on one of the offices.  I think I heard a vacuum cleaner in the distance. It was before 9:00 am and perhaps was too early and so I decided to return at a later time.

        I drove to the pool which was still closed. I decided to sit on a bench and read until the instructor and lifeguards started filing in, and then walk down to do some water aerobic workouts.  I took a few pictures from my cell phone (as I had left my camera at home by the computer) before I notice the manager and then the instructor.  As I made my way over the hill and around the building, I couldn’t help thinking how none of this had existed for me just a month ago.  I wasn’t even aware of the existence of this part of the world.

        My aerobics start at 9:00 and go for an hour.  Jenna has swim lessons that start at 10:30. I allowed her to stay home while I was in the water and then returned home for her.  We had twenty minutes of waiting time and stopped at the school to ask the questions and I was also given the forms that I’ll need for registration. 

        After her swim class, we went to the music building which sits between the elementary and the middle school.  We introduced ourselves and I told the instructor that I was interested in putting Jenna in band.  He assigned her the clarinet and she had a four-minute instruction on how to put the instrument together and take it apart and gave her a first ten minute lesson on how to play each note.  He gave us a book and the clarinet and instructed us to return to the school to pay a rental fee. 

        Students are encouraged to practice the instruments during the summer so that they will be somewhat familiar once school starts.  I had been interested in starting Jenna in band when she was in the 5^th grade, but when the leadership program was introduced to elementary school she attended in Salt Lake, it appeared that they had dropped the band program.  Now Jenna has the opportunity – which at this time she is not at all happy about – but she felt that same way about my having put her in the dual immersion program and theatre and those turned out to be pluses and band will, too.

        The school district does not offer a foreign language program until High School, but I am happy to say that Jenna will not lose her ability to communicate in Spanish.  Halla, a student who moved to Myrtle Creek from Mexico, speaks no English and so the school plans to assign Jenna as Halla’s buddy.  I AM SO EXCITED!!!!

        Last night Jenna played with friends for the first time since we’ve moved here.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints offers a program to girls ages 8-12 which is supposedly similar to what the boys get with scouts.  The program is called achievement days or activity days.  We had taken Jenna to the church last night and she and Casey decided it would be great to continue playing together after the activity was over.  We brought Casey home with us.  Jenna was sooooo excited to have a play date with somebody – finally.

        I think we had only been home just 30 minutes or so when Casey’s younger sister, Carly knocked at our door.  She had with her Casey’s friend, Callie.  So Jenna, Carly, Casey and Callie played together and Jenna was in her glory.  It’s the happiest I have seen her in a long time, actually. She was hoping her play date would never end.  Of course it did end.  The skies grew darker and Roland’s eyes became heavier and he suggested sending the girls home.  I told Jenna she could walk down the street with them and then return.  I went out to the street to watch her – but it was so dark outside I really couldn’t see them.

        I heard my neighbor across the street and yelled out to her, “Hi, Judy.”

        When she seemed to respond, I had to cross the street to ask her to repeat whatever she had said as I couldn’t hear her.

        I saw Jenna return to the house – along with the three girls she had walked down the street with.

        “You girls cannot walk each other back and forth to each other’s houses all night!” I yelled. 

        Judy started laughing.

        “Casey’s mom wants to talk to you.  She’s right behind us.”

        The girls started playing games on the front lawn before Callie and Casey’s moms walked across the street to join Judy and me.  We must have all been visiting for 20- 30 minutes before Josie and Tara collected their girls and each went in a different direction.  Jenna was beaming and excitedly asked me, “Can I tell you what we did?” and started in with every detail beginning with activity days. It was quite amusing to hear her trip over the names of the other three as she explained the details of “duck, duck goose” and “mother may I”.  I am so happy to see that sparkle back in her eyes!

        This afternoon I took Casey and Jenna to the library for an activity.  We met the mayor – who, as it turns out, is my neighbor from just up the street (next door to Judy) and there was a programs and gifts and prizes and Jenna received a free t-shirt from a drawing. 

        I had planned on creating this post while Jenna and Casey played together, but Jenna asked if I would play a board game with them – which I suppose was necessary as Casey wasn’t quite getting the joy of playing it.  After a while, Callie came over and the three girls played together.  Now Jenna is at an outdoor concert which I could have attended as well, but chose to write this post instead. 

        I did feel a few drops fall down from the sky.  Not a heavy rainfall.  It looks like it could rain however.  It really has been a great experience being here. 

South Umpqua Memorial Pool

There is a pool in Myrtle Creek.  We have been there a few times. As I have mentioned several times before, Jenna LOVES the water.  She would like to live in the water 24/7.  We went there yesterday, but I did not get in with her.  I sat on the side lines and mostly read, but every once in a while I would look up to see how she was doing.

         Public swimming is from 1:30 to 4:30.  I was surprised to see her willingly get out of the pool and wrap a towel around her and met her on the side.  It wasn’t until then that I learned she had NOT gotten out willingly, but had been kicked out along with everybody else.  I decided to sign her up for swim lessons.

         As I stood reading over the schedule, I noticed that water aerobics is taught 5 days a week.  3 days offered Mon, Wed and Fri at 5:30 (which is when the sun is still blasting down) and Tues and Thursday at 9:00 am.  I figured Jenna could wait an hour for me and then I would wait a half hour for her.

         I enjoyed the intimacy of the pool and the amount of space in which the class was allowed to travel.  It has actually been a while since I’ve been to aerobics (not since I lived in Kearns) and I enjoyed the workout and the welcome to the class. 

         Unlike the pool area in Kearns – which always seems dark to me – the class was held outdoors in the bright sunshine and there is an awesome view of Oregon and there was a nice breeze and I really loved being there.

         Jenna seemed uncomfortable with the swimming level I had chosen for her, and so we changed it to a different level that will go for two weeks, and then I can probably put her back in the level she was in this morning and then to the next level after that.  Thus by the end of summer she should have three levels completed and know how to actually swim instead of just being able to save herself from drowning (which is good – but not as complete)

         Here’s to an incredible summer!

 

The Choices We Make

     You ever notice that the choices we make not only affect you but those around you as well?  Take my decisions to leave the majority of my family to move to another state for the sake of my health.  And yet I personally have known others who have said, “I’m not going to leave my family.  Even if the doctor says it’s in my best interest, I won’t give up my children, my grand-children . . .” or what have you.  That’s their choice.
 

     Some live long lives and are successful with their health choices.  Others continue to hack out their lungs while babysitting grandchildren while their children are at work and end up dying anyway.

 

     Sometimes it becomes a larger burden for the child (or children) to bury the parent than it would have been if the parent had just moved out of state.  Sometimes it’s easier, realizing the sacrifices that were made by said parent.  Often there are questions with either decision.  Some questions go unanswered or are misunderstood.

     My decision to move has affected Jenna’s education, as she will not be able to continue with in the dual immersion program – not at this time.  I don’t want her to lose what she has been taught and continue with her Spanish.  But foreign language is not even offered until she’s in high school. I hope to be living in a different part of the state by then.

     Our decision to leave Utah so abruptly caused stress for both Tony and Rochelle – who were also facing challenges of imperfect health. Our unorganized chaotic house only added to the stress – I’m sure.

     Mom had a good friend mentioned here and here who had secluded herself from everyone she knew – including her own family.  They all knew that she was sick.  They just didn’t know how sick.  She chose not to tell them because she did not want them to worry.  Though I do understand her choices, I think her decisions made it a lot more difficult on her family members – who knew how opposed Pam was to funerals and thus the family chose not to have one for her.  For me, it seemed symbolic to the end of her life: It felt very empty as if there was no closure. 

         I have learned throughout my life that funerals are for the living – not the deceased. I would actually be a lot more gracious with being honored once I’m deceased as it isn’t something I’m too comfortable with while I am living. I’m not big on hoopla. I didn’t even want a wedding reception. But there were a huge number of people that hoped that I would. And so I had one – for them. It did not take place until after Roland and I had been married for over a month.
    

     Are the choices we make good or bad?  Do we regret our decisions?  I don’t regret moving to Oregon.  I know that I am breathing better.  My oldest son says I definitely look happier. I am for the most part.  I smile a lot more when I go to church.  I laugh at situations that I can’t control.  I don’t worry.

     I took Jenna to the pool today and while I sat outside waiting for her, I cried for the first time since we've been in Oregon.  I was crying about being so far from my family members.  Jeanie’s having a baby shower this week. Jenna wishes we could go.  I did give shower gifts to my two pregnant girls before I left – but it’s not the same.

     I won’t hear my grand-daughter tell me she wants to go jump on the trampoline or see BJ’s smile light up when he sees me.  It makes my whole day.  I miss playing games with Kayla and Bill or the boys.  I miss their asking, “Where’s dad?”  “Where’s Jenna?”

     Two of my boys actually fought over taking Jenna trick-or-treating last year.  Tony was promised that he would get her this year.  There’s a promise broken.  I’m not sending Jenna back to Utah just to go trick-or-treating.  I think she is getting too old for trick-or-treating anyway.  Although it is easier to get away with when going door-to-door with your three-year-old niece or your five-year-old cousin.

     Corey (who actually posted this same subject and similar title to his blog here which I didn't realize until just before I posted) kept himself closeted for years knowing his decision to come out would not only affect him – but each of his family members.  I think he was scared on how we’d react.  He had already had a taste of what he thought was a bad reaction from me – and it was. 

I had behaved poorly – but not because he said he was gay – but because I had figured out that I had stopped caring about him somewhere along the way and it didn’t matter to me whether he was gay or not because I just didn’t care about him anymore.  (see post here) And that’s what is most upsetting – that I had stopped caring. 

   I am so so grateful that we’ve mended the fences that were built between us and that we are supportive of one another and that he is truly happy.  I love him with all my heart.  I love each of my family members.  It does hurt that I am so far away.
 

But I can breathe.

      Perhaps it’s selfish of me to prioritize my health over being with them.  Perhaps it seems selfish that I would rather communicate electronically rather than have my children or grandchildren remember me as hacking all the time and eventually gasping for air until I die.

     I don’t particularly want to die alone – but like Pam, I don’t want my children to worry about a funeral as the expense of them coming to Oregon or shipping my body back to Utah seems quite unnecessary.  Bury me quietly and remember me as having more years because I could breathe.  Because really, what good (or fun) am I if I’m constantly gasping for air.  I don’t want my death to be a relief to them.  I’m sure they wouldn’t (or don’t) miss the sounds.

     I’m grateful that I didn’t have to move here by myself but that I do have Roland and Jenna with me.  And as a member of the Church I automatically have a support group in the current ward (church) that I attend. I hope my decisions will bless those here as well as those that are still in Utah (and Nevada) 

     Whether I had stayed in Utah or come to Oregon, my choices would have affected my family either way.

Reminiscing a Very Past Memory (maybe three)

          I don’t know how old my grandma was when she decided to get her driver’s license.  She had been born and raised in Utah, but was then living in San Francisco.  I don’t know if she had ever driven at the time she had resided in Utah and maybe didn’t feel the need in San Francisco as she could rely on public transportation.

          Grandpa Ralph was a retired bus driver and did know his way around. I am pretty sure that he had a car, and after he passed way, perhaps Grandma Mary had been missing that luxury of just driving somewhere and not having to wait for the bus or the streetcar or the BART or whatever. 

          I was too young to actually get all the logistics involved.  I just remember my own mom having mentioned it. I know that Grandma had purchased her own car but doubt that she had it for more than two years.  San Francisco has a lot of hills and narrow spaces. Why anybody would ever want to drive (or learn to drive) in San Francisco is beyond me.

          I vaguely remember teeny space off to the side that led the way to underground parking.  I probably would have missed it altogether except for I remember daddy driving through whenever we would visit – which wasn’t often, really.  My grandma seemed okay with the driving part, but was more than reluctant to try to park it.  I remember her telling my mom that she would stop it in the street and wave someone down and offer to pay the individual five dollars to park the car for her.  That always fascinated me as she lived in a very high crime neighborhood.  Yet every person that got behind the wheel would actually park it for her and no one just took it from her.

          My Uncle John had worked for the police force and lived in Martinez.  I remember taking the BART from the mission district to a location that was near to where he could pick me up and drive back to Martinez.  It was interesting to me that grandma had taken me to a BART location in San Francisco where the transportation was located underground which reminded me of a subway system.  And yet when I got to Lafayette (I think that was the name of the station where I got off for Uncle John) it was above ground like a monorail.

          I had gone to Martinez to go to church with John and his family and when he returned me to the station, his police radar had kicked in and as he told me where to get off, he warned me to stay underground.  The mission district was full of crime and he said under no circumstance was I to walk up to the street but that I had to wait for grandma to come and get me.

          I remember telling mom and she kind of made a face and laughed and said, “I’m sure he’s asking you to wait for this little old lady to come and protect you.”

          Grandma was a very friendly and optimistic person.  She didn’t seem to be bothered by much.  I remember my mom telling me that grandma’s residence had been broken into a least a couple of times – but it was while she was out.  I don’t know that she was ever physically attacked.  On the other hand, mom did have a good friend who had been attacked at Golden Gate Park.  I cannot find the original source, but there is mention of it here.

            I don't know what it is that triggered my memory of my grandma.  It still fascinates me when I think about it.

Enjoying Oregon (and on still adjusting)

our first view of Glendale

naked logs

turned lumber

Glendale grocery

 I forgot to take pics of the blocked off street.  Too bad.  Where else in my blog are you going to have the opportunity of seeing orange polycones LOL

water slide to left; church bands at pavilion

seems like a sleepy little town

many booths appeared to have good INTENTIONS

If Jenna looks bored out of her mind, it's because she is

Glendale Memorial Park - the playground area

throwing beanbags into the plastic cans

after things picked up and she won game prizes

gathering her stash

not such a bad day afterall

Just Who is in Charge Here, Anyway?

It seems like there is always something to do on the 4^th of July.  Salt Lake has their big parade on the 24^th, but Provo (not incredibly far from Salt Lake City) offers a parade.  As mentioned in this post, one can find a parade somewhere during the summer.  I think there is one going on every week.  

Fireworks are also shot in the sky throughout the summer.  Neighbors have their personal fireworks and there are shows throughout the valley on different nights and different locations.  Probably the most impressive are in Sugarhouse (offered on the 4^th) Rice Stadium (University of Utah also on the 4^th) Fire, Water and Ice celebration in Kearns (1^st week in August, I believe) and baseball stadiums as well as others. 

I have a problem breathing around the fireworks.  Over the years I’ve tapered off from watching outdoors to peering behind a window – should I happen to be up (usually I’m in bed)

Last year Jenna spent the holiday with two of her brothers and felt cheated on missing out this year.  I looked on the net for 4^th of July activities in the Roseburg area.  I emailed our friend in McMinnville and facebooked my cousin in Salem to see if they knew of any events surrounding their towns.  I was referred to Eugene by one and so looked up and actually saw a promotion for Glendale on three different sites – two news stations from Eugene. 

The hype was written something like this:

2015 July 4th Celebration - Glendale Oregon

This is a daily event, running from July 2, 2015 through July 4, 2015. 11:00 AM Memorial Park - Glendale, Oregon (Right across the street from the Post Office on Pacific Ave) 541-832-2245 cowcreekvalley@outlook.com

July 2nd the fun begins at 11:00 am! The Food Booth Opens and all Vendor Booths will be open. The Kids games will be starting also! (Tickets 25 cents each or 5 for $1.00). All children win a prize! THE WATER SLIDE IS OPEN AT 11:00 am!!! Let’s not forget the Car Bash!!! There will be Bingo at 1:00 pm and the dunk tank starts up at 1:00 pm also! At 5:00 pm the Silver scramble will be starting for three age groups! At 7:00 pm the drawing for the 4th of July Raffle (Which includes being able to start the fireworks) will be held! Then we will have the Shirley Davis Memorial Cake Walk!

July 3rd We start again at 11:00 am..... The water slide- Food Booth – Kids games – and Car Bash!!!! The Dunk tank and the bingo will start up again at 1:00 pm! At 4:30 – Pinata’s (three age groups) – this is free folks! At 6:00 pm a Patriotic concert in the park put on by the Churches in the area! After the concert try your hand at a Watermelon Eating Contest! All Ages! then 8:30 to 10:00 pm some music in the park!

July 4th – Breakfast in the park from 8:00 am to 10:00 am! The Car Bash will be still happening and then the Water slide will open at 11:00 am. The Annual Parade line up will start at 12:30. At 1:25 pm the National Anthem will be sung by our own Lyla Rose! The parade will start at 2:30 !!!!

Then the highlight!!!!! THE BEST FIREWORKS SHOW IN SOUTHERN OREGON WILL BE HAPPENING AT THE GLENDALE HIGH SCHOOL! The Concession stand opens at 8:00 pm and the Fireworks will start at dusk! If you have not seen it yet folks......You really do not know what you are missing!

Come on out and join in the fun! Hope to see you there!

We decided to take Jenna to Glendale on the 3^rd as we believed the 4^th would be more crowded.  But first she and Roland went to Roseburg to deposit two checks and to pick up a few items.  I chose to stay home and wait for a handyman to come fix the rental refrigerator.

I seriously was more impressed with taking the drive to the sleepy little town of Glendale and the return back to Myrtle Creek than I was with Glendale itself or lack of activity.  It was major disappointment for Roland and me – and appeared to be even more disappointing for Jenna – until we finally found someone who would man the games.  

Glendale was definitely cooler than in Myrtle Creek (which everybody here says is very unusual.  They say it NEVER gets this hot – which is good to know. Because even though I’m from Salt Lake and people think that I’m probably used to the heat – I will NEVER get used to it) and it was really pretty.  I also enjoyed the temporary Christian music that I haven’t heard much of since living in Oregon. But I think I’ve had my fill of Glendale and don’t plan on ever returning. 

When we arrived, the main street was closed off for a block – as if the town had planned something exciting for the entire community and was expecting loads of fun.  And maybe it was in the average Glendalians mind – but I didn’t think it was very well organized.  Some of the booths appeared to be closed even though they had signs of events taking place.  And some seemed to have events set up but no one to man the stations.  Obviously a trusting town with no crime whatsoever.

We had passed one booth of throwing darts into balloons for used stuffed animals. The lady at the booth told her husband tickets were five for a dollar or fifteen for five dollars.  What kind of deal is that?  

Jenna rode the waterslide three times but didn’t seem happy.  She wanted to play the games that had been left neglected – but looked fun to play in her mind.  Roland purchased some melted ice cream for her.  It was actually a very generous scoop.  It must have been seven times the size of the cone.

I was hungry for real food and decided on some nachos.  While the chips themselves were delicious, I wasn’t all too impressed with the gloppy cheese.  Jenna had intended on sharing with me, but was even less impressed.  We ended up throwing away not quite half – but enough to call waste.

Roland finally found someone to take charge of the games, and Jenna knocked over bottles and cans to win more stuffed animals and ended up taking home an armload of cherished pets.  I’m glad she warmed up and actually enjoyed having fun.  Guess I’ll take her to the swimming pool tonight.  I don’t foresee fireworks happening this year.