Different Strokes For Different Folks

               I remember attending a month long theatre camp when I was 15 years old.  For the most part the youth who attended the camp resided in the dorms which housed BYU students during the school year.  There was one youth who had traveled with his parents.  He was eleven.  Very talented and gifted child.  I don’t know if he was an only child but that is how I saw him. 

His mother doted on him 24/7.  She would accompany to all the rehearsals, activities and whatever else we had going on.  She was an older parent who wouldn’t allow Trevor to be out of her sight.  I felt bad for him.  As gifted as he was with the piano, he lacked social skills.  He behaved differently the few times his mom was out of sight – which was rare.  I think he was abusing his freedoms.

Clair told me that her sibs will dote on Ally just as she does.  Neither Jaime or I dote.  Neither one of us are especially fond of being around children as a whole.  Of course there are exceptions.  We will become a friend but neither one of us dote.  Clair says that Ally doesn’t understand what her relationship is with Jaime as she doesn’t dote as her other aunts do. 

Jaime and I are more about self-reliance – but as with Trevor (in the example above) she will only try to do things herself when she doesn’t have permission – like reaching for items in the fridge that she isn’t supposed to have or scaring the dogs with her remote control car.

Lighting Candles to Hanging Lights

 

This morning Richard was watching one of his cowboys which was Christmas themed.  Those that were in that particular episode were discussing decorating a tree and adding candles.  

It triggered a memory with hot lights that replaced the candles as they were fire hazard.  Still, a dry tree and hot lights were still cause for fire.  There have been a number of homes destroyed due to Christmas tree fires.  Anyway, I remember my mom and I having attended one of those “selling items” party similar to Tupperware or Usborn Books or the Pampered Chef – only it was for Christmas items.  Among the items shared was a smoke alarm ornament.  The idea of it was appealing, but the idea didn’t seem to carry over to what we believed would be a helpful item to have.

        We decided to test the product before we hung it and ended up melting part of the babble.  We returned it and tried it again with our replacement.  Both had failed.  Neither would have alerted us if there had been an actual fire.  Throughout the years the lighting devices have improved so that there is light without the heat.  How ingenious. 

Health and Temperature

               I don’t know how often I had to go to the orthodontist during the (almost) three years that I wore braces.  I was just recently reminded about how painful it felt having my braces tightened. My teeth have been bothering me since Sunday – maybe before. At first I thought it was dental related but have come to realize that it is part of my newest sinus infection.  Bah, humbug!

          It seems to be the most painful once the sun goes down.  I looked up what I might do to ease the pain.  Steam was a suggestion.  I thought it would make the room more hot but knew that it would work as I have felt better during a shower.  Many of my body parts have bad reactions to the cold lately.  NOOOOO!!!! 

I think about friends I’ve made here in Oregon that have moved to warmer climate (I think all of them ended up in Arizona) as the cold had bothered them physically.  I don’t want to move to Arizona.  I already know that it’s too dry. I hate the heat. I suppose I could get used to it.  But not the dry.  Dryness makes it hard to breathe.  I need moisture. 

So that’s my choice?  I can be miserable in the heat and dried out or I can be sore because of the cold?  That sounds very negative.  I need there to be a happy medium.  I need the consistency I thought Oregon temperatures would be.  I am a grouch when I am too hot or sore.  I don’t wish to be a grouch. 

I need to say another prayer.

Mailbox Surprise

 

         The Amazon account is in my husband’s name.  

It doesn’t matter which one of us places the order, 

it comes in his name – except today.  

There was a package addressed to me.  

Do I open it?  

Is it really for me?  

Inside is a book.  

No explanation.  

I don’t know who it’s from. 

At least I didn't when I started this post

Steven sent a text to let me know of its arrival.

The book is from my brother.

Laundry, Safari and Spades

           Yesterday Claire and Biff had invited Jaime and me to accompany them to WildLife Safari.  Jaime had accepted their invitation but I declined.  I figured  while they were gone I could wash some loads of clothes – not realizing that they already had theirs in both washer and dryer.

 

         My friend, Carolyn had asked to stop by to drop off a gift.  I invited her into the back room to play spades with Richard and me.  

We enjoyed each other’s company.  I did get my own laundry done eventually – but not until the others had returned.

Ward Holiday Parties

                  I am told that our last bishop did not enjoy doing Christmas parties.  Forget Halloween.  I have been to some wards that have promoted Halloween and others have not.  I have been to some ward parties which offered a visit from Santa Claus and some have not.  

I understand not doing Halloween or Santa.  I do get it.  But I also understand the pleasure of being together or inviting those not of our faith to a ward activity that may offer enough light that those who don’t attend on Sundays may seek a desire to know more. 

         My mom’s ward has celebrated Christmas in lots of different ways.  I remember one time tables were set with name plates.  A host couple was selected to head each table and decorate how they saw fit. I was considered a young single at the time and invited to sit with the young single adults at what I suspected might have been the largest table. My mom and I did not sit at the same table that year – which was okay.  I saw my mom every day.  I did not always interact with those I was sitting with.

         They have brought in professional entertainment over the years.  And there was one year that we reenacted Bethlehem – which appears to be a popular tradition in that ward.  Families are invited to bring canned goods for the food bank.  This represents the taxes we have to pay to Caesar.  The nativity is presented.  There is caroling to accompany each scene.  It represents the true meaning of Christmas.  It is long. There were over two hundred people at the last one I attended.  My brother-in-law (who had also come with his family) was quite disappointed that there was no Santa Clause.

         I think the former bishop of this ward would not be opposed to having a ward Christmas party like the one offered in my mom’s ward.  I also think he would have enjoyed the one that took place yesterday afternoon.  The program was called A Christmas in Nauvoo.  

There was a theatre reading of those who may have been in Nauvoo at Christmas time – grateful for the time they had together, grateful for their lives, to have Joseph and Hyrum home from Liberty Jail, those who had endured so many sacrifices not necessarily for Christmas but reminiscing the sacrifices that had brought them all there.  It was a nice program but did not hold the interest of any of the primary youth – or even Biff and Clair who were overlooking Ally and her friend, Zac.

         I don’t think there were nearly as many that attended the Christmas dinner as those in attendance for the Halloween.  I recall many having invited so many others not of our faith.  Our former bishop's sweet wife explained his reasons as she was promoting the Halloween party this year.  She saw it from a different point of view as she watched a young sister put herself in charge. She's faced many challenges the last four years or so and our bishop's wife saw it as a project for this young sister if nothing else.  I thought that was such a cool way of looking at it.

       The Halloween party seemed to better attended than the Christmas party   More people were in town then but I know there are many out of town currently.  Our Sunday attendance seemed even more sparse than the attendance yesterday. It's more obvious in primary than the other meetings.  Half of our household remained home today along with their excuses but did manage to make it to the party yesterday.  Also disappointed that there was no Santa for Princess Ally.

         I like parties.  I understand parties.  But I also understand the not.

That is Quite Optimistic

               Richard sends out cards almost every month.  

Before she went to college Richard used to sign each card from Richard, Karen and Jaime.  

After Jaime left, he would sign from Richard and Karen.  

After Biff and his brood moved in he started to sign all five names which became a bit much.  

The last two card were signed from the Riveras.  

But the next two cards he has lined up (MLK and Valentines) will be signed from just him and me.  

He believes Biff and Claire will be out of the house by then.  

Really?  That would be great but seems unrealistic to me.  

Does he think they will be getting so much money from relatives and so forth that they will have enough to move?  

That would be awesome, but I have my doubts.  

Would be a great way to start off the new year.  

Truthfully I think he would like them gone more than I do.  

And I would think they’d be equally excited to leave us.

Night Owls or Early Birds?

 

            I have always been a night owl.  Richard was working graveyard when I first met him – which made him a night owl, I guess.  He often did not get home until after the boys had gone to school.  That was then.  It feels like such a long time ago.  For he has been an early bird for most of our marriage.  And I was too – often getting up with him.

            Our roles have changed somewhat.  He is the one who stays up late (though he still gets up early when he is feeling well) and I am the one who retires before 9:00.  What’s up with that?

Who Talks More, Karen or Richard?

           When we first got together Richard was the most outgoing and quite social.  He seemed to have clammed up when we initially moved to Oregon – hermitizing behind his computer and not engage in social activities and I was the one out making friends along with Jaime.  We took an interest in our community while Richard seemed content to not be involved.  He has become more of social than when we first arrived. We take turns, I guess – depending on the company I guess.

The treasurer invited me to the get-together/party for the library volunteers.  I have been more actively involved with the library during these last four months than the four years prior – which really isn’t a lot.  I wasn’t even planning on attending except for Jaime wanted to go and ended up going to a gathering with her own friends. But Richard (who’d be driving me as I can’t see to drive myself) wanted to go and so we went last night.

There were only ten people at the party last night and I had only met half of them.  Richard was the talker last night.  He likes the attention and validation and I was in the blending-into-the-background kind of mood.  We don’t compete for attention.  It is usually one who will be outgoing while the other holds back.  It seems we have taken turns all throughout our marriage.

Wrapping Gifts

           After more than two weeks of keeping Ally at home they finally sent her back to school.  I suspect more just to get her out of the house than to believe that she was well enough – but Clair had wanted to wrap gifts and has asked Jaime to assist.  I did not assist as I was in the back room listening to Roland.

          Clair says she has always hated Christmas – though I don’t know if “always” is really the case or if perhaps she found something good about it when she was a child.  When she met Biff and Ally she fell in love with Ally and started to look forward to spending Christmas with her.  I didn’t see what gifts they brought but I suspect may have gone over budget – but maybe not.  They did not purchase all that is intended for Ally.  But still . . .

          When the boys were younger we always had simple Christmases.  That is what we could afford.  Of course there were three of them and only one of Ally.  We may have gone overboard on Jaime’s gifts when it was just her.  And other people would also contribute.  There were many years that we were the recipients of “sub for Santa”. 

          It’s going to be an interesting Christmas this year.

Decorations

         Richard and I picked Jaime up from school on the 6th.  A few days later Jaime and I put up the tree and finally started decorating but left oodles of space on the tree so that Ally could also decorate.  She's been running a fever, learned that she has a kidney infection among the many health problems that she has already been blessed with.  She did manage to put up a few ornaments before she returned to bed.

        On Friday we did the yard.  Well, mostly Biff, Clair and Jaime.  Richard supervised - or at least said that is what he was doing.  Jaime wrapped lights around the pine tree.  She is a mountain goat and was able to step on the rocks and unbalanced ground without slipping.  She put up some ornaments and I put up some.  Still room on the outside tree for more ornaments but we've had rain and wind in addition to the near freezing temperatures.

        Biff and Claire (though mostly Claire) put lights up on the house.  I'll have to have Jaime send me some pictures as I have been having problems retrieving pictures off my phone since our return from Disneyland.  I text them to Jaime and she messages them back to me through facebook.  I do not nor ever will have internet on my phone.

That Cough Has Got to Go

               Neither Richard nor I slept well last night

        I don’t think he’s slept well for the last two months

        I’ve had some regular sleeps

off and on

We both take cold medicine

cough medicine

sleep medicine

and so forth

        We’re driving down to Ashland tomorrow

to get Jaime and bring her home

for a month

        I want Richard to be well

        I want for both of us to sleep again.

What May Feel Like the Duration or Released Before Your Feet are Wet

               Scouting is no longer a calling in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but there was a time when it was – which is still a sore subject for some.  I remember when Richard had been called to be a scout leader for the primary youth.  He was told that it would be a five year calling.  I don’t think he was in for even a year before he called to be first counselor in the Elder’s quorum.

         I think it was just April of this year that Richard had been called as a Sunday School teacher for the 11-14 year-olds.  In July he was called to be the Sunday School president.  Just now he was called as first Counselor in the priesthood quorum.  Wow.  I wonder who the new Sunday School president will be?

         It’s funny how it seems there are some people stuck in callings as though it is a lifetime position and there are others that are released before they’ve had much opportunity to even be recognized as having ever served in that position.  Richard is great at accepting callings regardless of position.  He seems to serve his position longest when he has been second counselor.  Interesting.

A Time When Things Lasted

         I’ve been searching through flash drives in search for some misplaced memory pages I had designed for Jaime.  During my search I have come across scads of photos in which I see different pieces of furniture in the background.

Steven on the lap of my grandpa Ralph

        This couch for instance was reupholstered three different times.  This is how it looked as I was growing up.  The second makeover had similar flowers but in green and orange.  The final also had a green/orange theme but with birds.  It was my least favorite of the three.

same couch in background - the final makeover

        The painting above was removed when mom went into assisted living.  I heard that my niece had taken the couch.

        There is this photo which my brother had posted to his wall and wrote memories about each of the items on the knickknack shelf which remained in the house for over 40 years and still in the same condition – well, with an added feature.  Seems like a combination lock was fastened to the woodwork and remained there as no one knew the combination so that it could be removed.

Keith with Steven one Halloween; me several years earlier

        There are other memories I have as well and will share when I am more focused.

Enjoying the Ocean and her Peeps

 Our Thanksgiving still has not taken place.  

Biff and his brood mostly stay confined to their room - 

even when they are well.  

Richard and I both went to church yesterday - 

though he should have stayed home.  

Jaime spent her dinner with some members of 

our ward and brought home left overs - so that was nice.  

She left the next day to spend her weekend with 

some high school buddies.  

I am so grateful that she was able 

to enjoy her holiday.

Thanksgiving Postponed

         I was feeling fine when I woke up on Tuesday.  I don’t know what I had encountered before noon, but I had a throbbing headache just after 12:00.  Probably Richard and I should have not gone to the temple, but we did.  We left the house before 1:00 but did not get to Central Point until 2:40. Traffic was horrible.  It doesn’t take that long to get to Ashland.

        We were signed up for the 3:00 session. Just after 5:00 we were on our way to Ashland to pick up Jaime.  We met her at a 7-11 and I had gone inside to get something for my headache.  Richard and Ally got sick first and then Biff and then me and Clair – I think Clair may have been hit the hardest.  She looks terrible.

        Jaime has spent many a Thanksgivings feeling sick.  Ironically, she is the only one who is well.  None of the rest of us even want to eat – let alone a feast.  Biff made chicken soup and I took Jaime to a friend in the ward so that she could have a real Thanksgiving – not just dinner but in the presence of company that give reason to thank.

        Meanwhile there is a turkey, yams and pies waiting to be had.  Maybe early in December?

It's Not the Flu

 Tomorrow is Thanksgiving 

and our household is sick.

Jaime has returned for four days.

Fortunately she will be with friends

for three of them.

I need to be well by Sunday

for I am scheduled to teach RS.

Shadows

 This is us at Stewart Park.  I find it interesting that there are only five ducks and no pigeons.

What is Up with my Left Arm?

 

              First it was my feet

            Then it was my ears

            And now my left arm?

            Why not both arms?

            Why does my left arm

feel like it’s caught   

in a draft?

What is up with that?

Seriously.

It’s as if I have no blood flow. 

Why is my arm always cold?

I had three layers on my arm this morning!

My right arm seems okay.

Perhaps my left arm just 

doesn't get enough exercise

Lost in the Sauce

 When we lived in West Valley

I rarely used covers at night

Maybe 10 times a year

Maybe

Even after we moved here

And I would fall asleep on

The recliner,

Richard would cover me

But the covers would come off

Long before morning

And then we moved into a

Different house

And suddenly my toes were always

Cold

And so I would keep them

Covered

But lately it seems like I

Am covering all of me.

I think the earth is spinning

Nearer to the sun and then

To the other extreme

So far away from the sun that

Its always cold

Hard to imagine that just over

six weeks ago I was complaining

about the heat.

Ten weeks ago it was in the

Three digits in California

We had moved to Oregon for

The constancy – which

We have never had.

I don’t want three digits and

Then near freezing (or

Below freezing) 

At this point I don’t

Think it even matters

In what state or nation

Autumn is still producing

Gorgeous colors

That’s nice.

There’s a perk.

The High Cost of Living

 When Steven was in his senior year of high school he had the opportunity of going back to New York with the high school drama department.  My mom and dad also took the opportunity of going as there was a need for chaperones.  I don’t recall how much the trip costs or how many plays they were scheduled to see.  

They were gone for a week and spent more in one day than Shelly and I spent in the entire week including our excursion to Lagoon (an amusement park near Salt Lake City, Utah). 

First two pics are of Shelly and Me at a picnic area off pioneer village.  The other two were taken upon the return of the rest of our family.

Blue Skies, Black Clouds and Fog

          Driving to Roseburg yesterday seemed almost like driving into the Twilight Zone – sort of a slow strobe effect. 

Mist    

disappearing scenery  

blue skies  

inviting sign  

just kidding          

dark clouds          

is that smoke or rain?      

sunny blue sky above the dark clouds         

fog again    

cold bleakness     

inviting warmth     

all within a matter of minutes   

so surreal

This is just our neighborhood.  The change
was a lot more drastic going to Roseburg. 
Bluer sky and darker clouds.

Well That Seems Presumptuous of You

         Since they moved in Claire has just taken over where they put things and when it will get put away.  Biff just goes along with it.  They had invaded our  fridge with Ally’s medicine – even after they had hooked up their own.  After Richard and I returned home from Costco one day I took it upon myself to move the remainder of Ally’s medicine into their small fridge and told them that I needed our fridge for actual food.

Richard and I had to restack their items that they put in my brand new shed.  Exploded and unorganized.  It still is, but at least Richard was able to make some space for our things.  On the plus side we are finally able to get to the Christmas tree.  So kudos to them for that – I guess.  Still haven’t found a home for the fish tank which takes up so much room.  They don’t need to hang on to all that they brought with them.  Why did they bring it?  But I suppose we could say the same about all the stuff I have yet to sort through for myself.

The latest assumption was when Richard invited Biff to go and see some Marvel movie that I, of course, have no interest in.  Claire, upon hearing the invitation, asked if she could go or if it was just a boy thing.  Richard really didn’t mind taking her but made it clear that Ally would be staying home with me and would not be going to the movies with them.

I don’t know if Claire looks at me as incompetent – which I probably am when it comes to Ally.  I definitely do not have Claire’s gift of patience or her compassion towards Ally. Richard and I have raised our children – and we were old parents when we had Jaime.  Jaime was pretty perfect compared to most children and Ally is on a complete different end of the scale.  Richard and I are old – raised in an entirely different generation.  We don’t have the tolerance for  having to put up with Ally’s behavior behind closed doors.  Why would we want to subject ourselves to that?

Claire suggested that they take Ally to the movies and they could watch Gru in one theatre while the boys watched the Marvel movie in the other.  Ally would really like the experience  of being in the theatre.  Ally is spoiled.  Nevermind that the Marvel movie and Gru are two different lengths and would not start or end at the same time.  Richard did not give in.  Said Gru was available on our TV and Ally could watch it from the couch.

But you can’t experience theatre popcorn from the couch.  The TV is so much smaller.  Whip out the violins!  If giving Ally the theatre experience is really that important to you, then Claire and Biff need to set aside 30 – 50 dollars and take Ally to the movies themselves!  Wouldn’t it be more meaningful for them to “give” that gift to Ally instead of constantly “taking”.  Perhaps it’s an ADD thing.  Give them an inch and they want a mile. If you’re not going to allow us to discipline Ally as we see fit than don’t expect us to be present for any outburst that she may have.  And she will have them.  She has at least one meltdown a day.

 Biff and Richard ended up going to the movies by themselves.  I have heard Ally laugh.  I have seen her smile.  She had three meltdowns from the time I started this post and now posting.  I wish the weather had been more promising and I had gone to Ashland.  But Jaime did get some things accomplished and managed to enjoy herself.  So that's good.

A Hire Freeze?

         There has always been economic growth and layoffs, outrageous prices and cutting costs.  It was in 2008 when Shelly started a seasonal job at Target.  She worked on Black Friday and was laid off.  Are you kidding me?  What was the point?  2009 didn't offer the turnout that Target had expected.  Apparently it was the one day that would make or break the rest of Christmas line-up.  It broke.

        The following year Richard also landed a seasonal job with Target.  I reminded him about the experience that Shelly had had the year prior. Each had been hired for the Christmas rush.  He had only worked a week or two and Target realized that their numbers of sales were not even close to what it had been years before.  He was let go as were several others who had been hired to work the Christmas season.  That was weird.

        Hopefully Target has picked up since then.  Hopefully the pandemic didn't bring them down like so many others.  We don't have a Target in Douglas County.  I've been to Target only twice since living in Oregon.  The first was in Portland before we moved to Oregon.  The second (most recent) was in March of this year.  The Target was located in Layton, Utah.

        Several places still make the claim of needing help (and is actually quite obvious) and yet it doesn't appear that there have been a ton of people being hired.  Why is that?