CBQ#205& 630

 

When you need to confront someone, would you rather communicate in person, on the phone, e-mail or letter? In what situation do you find yourself “walking on eggshells”?

     I would rather confront someone in person but is not always possible.  Often words aren’t read the way they are intended or said verbally. Recently I had (well still in the process) a confrontation with my oldest son who constantly gives off verbal vibes that he would like to take his life in a new direction. I know he isn’t happy about his current situation but only seems to TALK about change rather than ACTING upon changing.  He reads my advice in a different way than I am telling him – though I don’t imagine talking with him in person would help out our situation.  He doesn’t bother to follow any council that Richard and I have given him or will continue to give him.

He had said that he wanted to move to Oregon.  His wife believes that they can obtain housing in Eugene for only 900 a month.  I advised him to figure utilities and groceries and gave him the statistics that I have from our seven years of living here – plus to consider that Utah has much better health care for his daughter than might Oregon.  All the children hospitals are located in Portland which is a good 3-5 hours on the road. Gas isn’t cheap and housing is off the charts.  Because of my list of things to consider he believes that I don’t want him to come.

I’m okay with him living in Oregon – but not both of us living under the same roof for the duration.  I love him but I do get frustrated with his choices. It’s so much easier to deal with if we are not under the same roof.  Also our house is not designed for six people.  I don’t mind a visit – but it doesn’t appear he has made a lot of effort at getting out from where he’s at.

It’s not totally his fault that he can’t get ahead, but I know he could be wiser with money.  There is absolutely no reason on God’s green planet that he needs to pay over 200 dollars for a phone!  I didn’t pay that much when I had three lines!  What a crock!  Half of his bills is just in taxes for whatever oligopoly phone carrier he’s with.  Richard offered to buy a phone from another company which would require Biff to change his phone number but he won’t do it.  Thus he is without a phone.  That’s just one example.  There are so many more.

        He chose not to move to Oregon.  He and his wife moved in with their family and are now paying 500 rent.  Apparently the air is good for Ally who seems like a different child.  I suspect that his phone has been disconnected again as we have not heard from him, do not know how to get in touch with him, don’t even know what part of Florida he is in.  Meanwhile his mother-in-law from his first marriage is trying to get in touch with him and passing her frustrations onto me.  I can’t provide her with information that I don’t have.