After a month of being cooped
up due to illness, I finally went out to see my mom. I still have a cough and probably should not
be around the elderly. This morning she
had a doctor’s appointment.
Kayla was supposed to take mom
to the doctor's - and had actually been planning on it for two months now.
I said I would go out to Kearns to be
with her two kids while she took mom. But because of unwelcome circumstances on
Kayla's end (her car and the plumbing), I ended up taking mom.
When I arrived at the facility,
I found her in a rather foul mood. She was waiting for someone to take
her home. Had her bags packed and ready
to go. I said that we wouldn’t be
leaving for another 45 minutes at least.
She asked why we couldn’t just go NOW.
I told her that we would have
to spend even longer waiting in the doctor’s office. That did not go over very well. She was expecting to go home. She assured me that she did not need to go to
the doctor and that we should just leave and I should take her home.
I told her that I was not in a
great mood myself and that we should say a prayer before we left. I told her
that we would have to come back for her stuff as I'd just be taking her to the
doctor's and didn't have room in my car for all of her things. Of course
I did, but by the time we got all the way from the building to the one row of
cars parking lot, she forgot to take notice or at least mention it.
Of course the entire trip was a
repeated conversation about "Where are we going?" "Why
can't you just take me home?" "I feel fine. I don't NEED
to go to the doctors” Of course once we arrived, we had to wait – which made
her all the antsier. She was irate with
me and I just wasn’t in the mood for her childish behavior though I did try to
stay calm and remind her that she had taken us to the doctor many times when
“we weren’t sick” – actually she had taken my Grandma Helen now that I think
about it. If I was to remind her, I
wonder if she would even remember.
Probably not.
Mom was actually very pleasant
with the staff and willingly obeyed what they asked of her: remove her coat,
step on the scale, lift her arm up, etc.
I had called Corey - not to ask
him to hold her hand - but to get some information about seeing the eye doctor
and other treatments. Mom was holding a clip board and trying to process
the information. I said I could help her if she'd like. She yanked
the clip board away from me and told me she could do it.
When she was talking to Corey
(she had decided that maybe she did need my assistance with the form after all
and so I had traded the cell phone for the clip board) her coat had dropped to
the floor. She told him that I had thrown it there.
While Corey kept her occupied,
I wrote a note to the doctor saying that even if she was experiencing physical
problems it wasn't greatly known as her dementia seems to take all of that
away. It doesn’t seem she can remember things for more than two seconds
anymore.
The doctor asked her the questions
and kept his eyes on her, the patient – and then mom would look at me to answer
for her and then get upset when I continued.
And she was actually just as irate with the doctor who was being just as
intrusive as we (her children) were. But
especially me. Mom’s has had it in for me
for over a year now.
We went to the lab so the
doctor could check her blood and urine. We finished up before lunch and
so I took her back to the community and she asked where we were going.
"To get you something to
eat” I kept on saying.
When I turned into the Alpine
Ridge parking lot she read the sign. "Alpine Ridge. Assisted
Living. What are we doing here?"
"This is where you're
going to eat." I said - waiting for her to get upset with me.
"Oh. It just doesn't
look like a restaurant."
She made a comment about the
flowers and the wind and how the flowers looked like they would blow away.
I opened the front door of the
building. She still didn't say anything. She stopped at the second
door and happily read a sign about an upcoming Easter egg hunt. Oh, yes.
Kayla had told me about that. It
was an RSVP and I hadn’t RSVP’d.
I opened the second door.
Some of the residents had been seated already but they hadn't started
eating.
"Oh, look. That's
Marilyn," she said as she went toward one of the residence.
"Can we sit next to Marilyn? She's my friend."
I was so happy to hear mom say
that – although Marilyn looked oblivious to our existence or the
surroundings. I didn't think that was
mom’s assigned table, but I allowed her to sit in the empty seat next to
Marilyn. Mom patted the chair next to her and asked me to sit.
"I have to go back to the
front desk." I actually wouldn't mind eating with her, but the
dining area doesn't seem too roomy when all the residence are sitting down to
eat.
I really did need to go to the
front desk to put in my RSVP. Then I slipped out - grateful that the return was
not at all painful and that she was actually happy and forgot about being at
the doctor or trying to escape.
It's too bad I didn't think
about returning to her room before I made my escape. I could have
returned everything to the closet or to the walls. Perhaps next time I
can just sneak in during lunch – I’ll have to wear a disguise or something – or
bring someone with me who can keep her occupied while I hang up her clothes and
return pictures to the wall. Or maybe I
could entertain while Sunny or Kayla “unpack” – and then when we take her back
to her room she won’t figure it out right away.
When the packed items are left by her bed, it’s only a reminder for her
that she would like out.
Life makes a full circle.
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