Beneath the Wraps

            My first daughter-in-law is a lot more creative and frugal with money than I have ever been.  Both skills I am certain that she learned from her mother who was able to make her husband ’ s paycheck stretch among feeding seven children and providing for medical and clothing needs.  I don ’ t know what her dad did for a living, but I highly suspected that there had been struggles.  I, unfortunately, never got to know her mom as she passed two months after Tony and Rochelle were married.            Roland sent each of the boys a check to use for Christmas gifts this year.   I don ’ t like going to the post office in December as it is.   And we always end up spending more on shipping than for the items themselves. Of course this year presented even more challenges.   For the last couple of years we have sent out gifts to Tony ’ s family and sometimes my sister.   ...

  We are all made of many puzzle pieces   some more complex than others.   Some seem near completion but we don’t really know.   Only God sees the entire picture.   He knows what puzzle pieces go where.     Sometimes He will send people into your life to help you find your puzzle pieces   but the picture is never complete for ourselves   why would it be for another?   If I don’t know about all the pieces that are missing from my life or what pieces will make me whole or tie me to somebody else   what makes me think I can see another’s completed picture?   I can’t.     I know I can only see a small handful at best but I’m not an expert who can always figure out how they connect.   I want to be a good friend.   I want to help others feel more complete.   Especially during this pandemic.   We definitely are living an odd era. God sees the complete picture....

          On Wednesday one of our most beloved ward members returned home after fighting a battle with cancer.  I don ’ t know if she had cancer before she and her family had moved out of the ward.  I first learned about it at the Christmas party last year.  She had lost a lot of weight and told her that she looked good.  That is when she sprung the news on me “ in confidence ” .  She said she had told only a few selected people – those who were her closest friends – which I learned yesterday was just about everybody.  That seemed to be her purpose in life – making each person feel as though he or she was her best friend.           I have referred to her as Aurelia in my blog and so will continue with it.   She was the 2 nd counselor in the Relief Society when my family moved to Oregon in 2015. I think she lived further southeast than anybody as it would take her 45 minutes to just ...

          Last week I had taken Jenna to the church with me in order to wrap gifts for some members in the ward.  Another sister had dropped by the church to donate some games – which Jenna volunteered to take home.  I ’ m not really certain how that came about but we did end up with them.         Thursday night Jenna ’ s Sunday School teacher dropped off a candy filled sock.   Jenna added the small sock to our fireplace ; she said it would be for Bonnie.           It turned out to be a really nice Christmas.   Each of us had three gifts beneath the tree plus the two games we dubbed from Santa Clause. Traditionally we will first open our socks.   Jenna passed them out one at a time.   I noticed my sock was bulkier than it had been before I had gone to bed.   Gloves, toffee, a chocolate orange and a notebook had been added to what I had already put...

Jenna had wanted to do a craft.  We went and gathered pinecones on Tuesday.  Yesterday we made these:   Jenna also found the perfect rock and painted a scene.   I thought it turned out well.   Roland had purchased some sensors for the house in order to detect anyone in our driveway or anyone on our porch.   One was more sensitive than the other and had gone off more times than needed.   He decided he would take care of it when he got off work yesterday in addition to putting up lights for the stairs and moving the initial light he had purchased which wasn’t serving the purpose as he had hoped.   We were about to lose light and I didn’t want him to climb the ladder and not be able to finish the projects he had on his agenda.   He was tired and I could sense that he was already frustrated without a darkness challenge.   I suggested putting everything away and trying again today.   He had the entire day off after all.   He...

  I didn ’ t know what inspirational story to share on facebook – though I thought it should be personal.  I had considered the last day my mom was in the hospital and how all four of her children were there trying to plan her funeral and asking her questions that related.  She was between worlds and so when she gave us answers we weren ’ t always certain which side she was talking to.  For example Corey had asked about what hymns she would want to be sung.  I knew she likes “ I Am a Child of God ” and would like it sung at her funeral. When Corey asked “ What hymns do you like? ” she smiled and said, “ That ’ s a secret. ” I don ’ t remember all of our conversation.  I know it was a good conversation and all four of her children laughed together.  It felt like an inspirational mood.  I had also considered a time when we had gone to see my great grandma at the nursing home.  Mom had gone diligently every week and grandma, for the most pa...

                Three hours after my last post I had gone from hurt to angry – which is not a cool emotion either but I would rather be angry.  I don’t have to deal with mucus or go through tissues when I am angry. In my last post had said that with each “fuel” added I have relived past emotions believing I hadn’t learned anything. However I have gone through the “stages” a lot quicker this time than in years past.   Before I had gone to bed I had convinced myself that I no longer care.   I’m not saying that’s a good thing.   But I am happy to feel this way as opposed to sobbing uncontrollably.   I also realized my poor reaction may have been due to a lack of sleep. I have been able to sleep much better when I am no longer emotionally invested.                I believe that God experiences emotions such as joy, anger and sadness.  God is immortal.  He may cry bu...

               When I was younger I remember psyching myself into believing I didn’t care.   I didn’t care about boys or dating.   I didn’t care about peers or school.   I didn’t care if plans fell through.   I knew it was wrong.   I knew it was unhealthy to deprive myself of feeling any other emotion. I just knew that if I could convince myself that I believed I didn’t care it would be so much easier to handle than disappointment or rejection.   It was.   It truly was.   This heartache and turmoil is such a bunch of crap that most anybody would rather do without.   We’re told the sad/bad/hard emotions gives us strength.   Boloney!!!    Disappointment  and heartache bite big time!             When Jenna was younger we befriended a family that consisted mostly of Khonnie and her two children.   Dennis was gone for the most ...